Today. I give up.*

I got up to you,
I climbed
all the stairs of the seven storeys, until
I got there, where
I forsook
the costume and the mask,
the desire and the expectancy.
I left them all neatly folded at the door.
You will find them in the morning when
you will wake up and
you will leave sleepy for the office.
You probably won't put them into consideration.
You'll step over "i miss you",
over "i'd love to",
and you''ll hit the little"why" in its belly while
he slowly pulls your sleeve.
Don't worry,
I am better now.
I forgot about the dimples and the mole.
How does your voice sound?
Your eyes... are they green or brown?
That yellow t-shirt,
that plaid shirt...
I do not even care if
you will see the pile
waiting for you outside the door.
It's not like
you have not seen
my backpack every time
we met...

Today I give up.

Because
I am not made of concrete,
and that's how the breeze that
you carry with you
always
unbalances
me.
Because
I really know how to ride a bike and
I do not need training wheels.
Because
I am not afraid.
Because
I have courage.
And especially,
because
I have nothing to do here.
It's empty and deserted.
It's nothing.

*Today I quit.

Jesus runs in Everglades, Mohammed climbs the roof
The Angels stamp in anger as the Devil stands aloof,
A wandering Pope in la-la land while Jewish hands do writhe
Those apoplectic Muslims glare while Catholics pay the tithe.

Religion, girls, has hit the skids…the game is up on God
With rosaries rotating hard, theologians do nod,
While Mormons rant moronically with frankincense and myrrh
The irreligious bark and howl in Rastafarian fur.

Sectarian’s recant Sanctum’s Shrine the rite of soul is lost
As neophytes are dancing… the High Priest counts the cost,
Theocracy unbalances as Voodoo’s stamp the floor
And the Prophets throw their hands up, fast retreating for the door.

It’s transcendental disbelief that’s nailed it to the Cross
With the Priesthood chasing little boys all credence here is lost.
With sanctity’s monastic plunge the pagans roar and shout
As Shamans scream their incantations…God declares a route!

There is silence in the Temple now, stillness in the pews
As dust lies thick on altars, a nervous clergy holds reviews,
What, once, was good and vibrant here, is now as dead as dust
As the Blood Red Wine evaporates and Holy Bread…to crust.

Marshalg
Feeding the pigeons by the dusty, open door of the very, empty Chapel.
30 November 2013

This time, a single breath unbalances  
the silky parachutes
and they float into the hedgerow.

A watch reads seven,
but it stood for the year that
slithered through a broken sand timer.

Silence is what truly says it all.
Silence is the answer to all questions.
Silence is the language of God,
total silence.

In total silence, God is heard and felt;
flowing in you, around you.

Or we can say Life,
another word for God.

For some people,
total silence is impossible.

Right when silence and peace are entering the being,
a thought will arise in the mind and distract.

For many humans today,
the mind is compulsively bringing thoughts;
therefor,
there is no silence and no communication with God.

Maybe i wont become some professional,
maybe i wont become a psychologist or a doctor,
but the love,
the peace,
and the healing that i want to give to the world can still be given wether i go to college or not.


My whole family has their eyes on me,
asking themselves and asking me:
what are you doing?
are you wasting your life?
what are you doing?
they ask me;
because they all expect something from me.

They all expect me to hop on that train,
where you compete,
qualify,
and work hard to become somebody.

"You have to succeed. You have to become somebody in life!"
is what they tell me..

What can i do about it?
I let them talk.
I listen.
And i know that i am all-ready all that i can be.

We are all all-ready all that we can be.
There is no need to struggle to be-come somebody..
We are all Kings and Queens.
We only need to truly realize it.

We are all Kings and Queens because as human beings,
we are able,
capable,
of total freedom.

When we listen to our hearts,
we know what we have to do.

In our hearts we can find the answers to our deepest questions.

We have to come to know who we really are to know what we truly have to do.

And knowing who we are not,
will reveal what we don't have to do.

Because threw years of conditioning on the human mind,
too many have come to believe that we are what we are NOT.

So to know who we really are,
it truly helps to realize who we are not.

And from my own experience,
the only way to do that is to go deep inside one's-self and begin to analyze all of one's believes.

It helps to remember:
that what we believe today,
we do not believe because we ourselves choose these believes.
We did not discover them.

What we believe today,
we believe because it was said by our parents,
that this is true and that this is what we should believe.

And those same believes were told and imposed on our parents also.

And those same believes were given to our parent's parents,
and so on..

So it is important to clearly see that we did not choose to believe what we believe today.
That these believes have been traveling from generation-to-generation.

And i talk about all believes..
From what is wrong to what is right,
to what is pretty and what is ugly,
to what should be and what should not be.

As i see it:
It is necessary that we all come out in-to the world alone,
and see if all of these believes match with the feelings of the heart.

And the way to see,
is to go deeply within,
and be completely honest with what we find.

We will have to doubt all believes,
and begin to discover,
what is real-ly true,
and what is really false.

And we are all capable of fully knowing,
without a doubt,
what is true and what is false.

In my observation of nature:

A tree does not got to any school to learn how to be a tree.

And the ants do not go to any school to learn how to be an ant,
and the ants who go in search of food do not train for this specialty,
and the ants who guard their homes,
do not go to any school to learn about guarding and security.

And the birds do not go to any school to learn how to fly,
or the fishes to learn how to swim.

It is all all-ready in them.

And the same is for humans.

Humans do not go to any school to learn how to be a human,
to learn how to be a King and a Queen and an Emperor.

But as far as history and present day are concerned,
humans go to school,
and have been going to school,
to learn how to be NOT a human,
but a robot,
and a copy,
and a follower.

We are all Kings and Queens,
protectors of Earth,
divine beings,
creators of beauty and love.

According to nature,
It is not necessary for a human being to attend any school in order to learn and come to know the secrets of life and the great mysteries of the universe.

Every human being is born with that enlightened seed,
capable of blooming into a Buddha.

It is only when we decide to follow and do what others say,
that we become afraid and forget all about that seed,
therefor not allowing it to grow.

Because we believe many lies,
fear enters the mind.

We begin to fear too many things,
specially "death".

We simply start to go with societies flow,
the flow of the law,
and we don't go with the flow of life,
the flow of nature,
the flow of love.

So what i am trying to do in writing these words,
is encouraging people to believe only in themselves.

I want to encourage people to start meditating.

Start becoming aware of everything.

And stop living your life automatically.

Become aware of every-thing,
all of your movements,
all of your actions,
all of your thoughts,
all of your habits,
your routines,
your unbalances,
addictions.

A topic on Meditation or on Truth is a very delicate topic.

Because both Meditation and Truth are experiences that will not be totally understood unless one has experienced them too.

It is almost like a drug inside of you that can be activated in any moment,
that can be tried any time.

Like any other drug,
**** for example,
once you try it and experience the high,
the effects that it gives,
you can then talk about the experience of being high.

But if you talk about it to a person that has never been high,
that person will not total-ly understand what you are talking about.

That person would have to smoke **** to understand you.

And it is the same with Truth and Meditation.

Truth can be the name of the drug that is inside of you.

Just that it is not like any other drug,
because it will not harm you in any way,
it will actually heal you.


It will heal your mind your body and your soul.

Your whole being will be healed.

And you will become fearless.

You will not fear anything in life because you will not fear death anymore.

You will understand that there is no death for the true Self.

That the only thing that dies aside from body and mind,
is the whole illusion of who you think you are,
your whole story,
your ego.

That will disappear.

So these words are simply to help people to activate that drug that is inside of them,
that seed,
that is within us,
so that we can become fear-less,
un-afraid.

And so that we can discover that which we are in search of.

Because as i see it,
we are all searching for that something.

And in my believe,
until we find this truth,
there is always going to be a feeling that something is missing in our lives.

And it make take some time to know what that something is.

It may even take many lives,
many life-times.

And one will go on learning from mistakes,
and realizing that,
"Ok, it was not this that was missing,
it was not a partner that was missing,
it was not a vacation,
it was not some car,
it was not money,
etc..."

One will go on searching and searching,
and until we find this truth of who we are,
which will reveal the truth of what this all is,
until then,
one will not feel complete.

And when one finds IT,
one will know that it has always been there,
that it is always here,
that we were simply conditioned to give our backs to it.

Once we begin to see what is true and what is false,
we begin to see that all of our believes go against IT,
they go against truth.

Ultimately,
what we are searching for is here in this moment.

Always is in this moment.

It just can not be seen if we are clinging to any-thing.

One must surrender every-thing to this moment.

Accept death.

Accept the truth that one day you will die,
and that one day your friends and family will die,
and that everything that is alive will die,
and go deep into understanding what the point of it could be.

If at one point we are all going to die,
then what is the point of it all?

Why struggle,
why work,
why stress to be a millionare,
to build a reputation,
fame,
what for?

If at some point we are going to die and it is all going to disappear?

Then what could be the point of it all?

As far as i have understood,
one needs to become very silent.

One needs to start watching one's thoughts.

So that we do not have the mind talking to us at all times,
so that we can put the mind at rest.

Because the mind contains too much borrowed knowledge,
the voices that speak in the mind is not your true voice,
it is the voices of people.

We have to pause the mind,
so that we can know what truly is true,
so that we can know the truth about our-selfs.

And the truth is,
that we are not this body and mind,
that we are not any of these experiences that we are living,
that we are somewhere else,
simply aware of it all.

We are the awareness,
we ARE awareness.

We are just watchers.

Watching us speak,
watching us think,
watching us do,
watching us feel,
watching us sleep and dream,
watching every single thing that happens or does not happen in this moment.

And that watcher,
that watching,
is eternally always here,
and always has been.

Meditate and you will know it,
and you will know real peace,
real power.

Deeply study your-self and you will know reality.

The doitnow voice

{one in a series of solos while considering multiple personality
mixed chorus tryouts for a spoken opera, ere this a Socratic voice spoke, then
a dialogue of anomalies took shape]
******* has the brackets.
This is a realised simulated happy ever, end prologicspiel
---
This is the way.
{remember Socrates said his voice said don't and sometimes only once.}
test the air you breathe out, that is not what defiles you.

speak light, draw attention, then
---
Do it now, as best you can
and keep doing best
every time
{ggood vibrain-tion tense in tegrity
best I think I can
buckyballs bouncing through the new age
mirrored 'alls of missed aitches}

(Ah, Casteneda, ya'coulda seen it> as the croW flew)

All things work together, every thing breaks,
alone,
everything is working
when any thing is re
al ized
different
Murfeesboro law, if nothin' can go wrong,
it cain't, whether it wonts or wants to, or not.

everything is working at reasonable good
when any thing is re
al ized
different
vibrant
unique, like you. Anomalous you, as yet

a daptible augmented alienated mind,
do you mind?
your integrity has been questioned,

do you now or did you ever
imagine you knew what
Castaneda said he saw and learned to see.

if you can fake sincerity,
it once was thought to mean

without wax
in the fractures,

standing still for as long as I may recall
at this point

the magi seem to miss the connection to true

some seem always to know,
this good out weighs,
unbalances,
any bad.

our best good to gather all our
power

dance around the fire
listen to the lyrics lick the liar

snakey-lick, microdose

two snakes, how shall we organize our structure,

is there a high command in
the organizms living
in my belly

memememememememe
for example
evidence

intolerable, wobble able skepticism
to imbalance the spin within
the wheels wheeling into forever

as far as mortals may care,
my dear.

re-verse engineer those lost religions

if you can't fit one in a word, you know you did not fold it up right.
or it never was the word. The one
Magi and Rabbi both said ineffable in an effable

utterance, singularity of
being
sense data, mundane and ordinary,
miraculous, as their inexplicable existences evince,

in my reality I find
quantum truth is peace ful to a peace maker,

in my experience,
a new voice seldom knows good from evil
if it calls

guilt and innocence
entangled.

Like Mars and Sophia,
who could ever imagine that
again?

The boy knows not the difference,

he was war trained,

too subtle to see from his ration-al

bogus science, theo dose us.

Good is good in every good boy who does fine like minded

A new voice, 30ish stuck near a next gate left swinging in the wind.
whoa, spiritual right used

breathe
who are we hearing?
(watch a comma mean everything)

, teaching 30 something and below
a true Richard Dawkins Disciple
to the novice-nots he preaches, true rest in knowing
I believe there is no god, we, you and me, he says, we know

there is no God,
but we can't stop thinking about him.
{he said that was one of the all things that are possible}
--- you can hear me now? cool, who's the preacher?

An atheist sounds 30, teaching 30 something and below
a true Richard Dawkins Discipline master spiel
to the novice-nots

come on encourage me
and I'll encourage you and
we'll be what ever we agree we are

as far as that can go. Que sera et cetera

idle words redeemed we mean what we mean
every *&^%$#@ and ,.';:"+_-=
as well.
We own Seri and Cortana. We got root!.

we stand to topple every imagination that imagines itself
beyond in every or any
vector from whence truth has been filtered by

{stop their minds are on auto. tongues and interpretation
situation evincing the confirmed's bias

to, exact now}

man's measure of time.

Spirit of truth. If that is, it is because you thought so.
once.
It never goes away.
It can drive you into a wilderness.
Stark-raving-mad thinking there is no reason

in your rational being.

That's nuts, if you really believe there is a reason,
what is it?

I make mere points where a story may
emerge to guide you past
some cultural events
you don't need
to know,

ripe cheese, you may  never know the unspeakable variety of truth there is
in the factual ripe ness of a lactis bacillis cousin community formed in the surplus
lactation left to rot by some human who once learned

some how, to milk a cow.
How'd yew figger that?

Would yew b'lieve a lit'le birdie tol' me?
That would be a lie, but a variety of the truth
by reason of thae tactile way a hand must learn

No clumsy boy learned that alone,
we dreams of certain carnal
joys unbeknownst, we
came with the knowing how, some how, good felt good,

who beguiled whom, the m is so im portentious in such
situations as we

find ourselves in, yin
yanging in eine klein bottle

oh, my, google klein bottle.

I may have poured the last thread to
normal

into a klein bottle with a quark in it.

Light up
you just can’t quit
Somewhere along the line
you stopped trying
Now the after taste burns
The ashes flicked and drift
Your fingers stink as smoke
The quenched cigarette levitates
inside the whisky bottle
You are holding on the edge
Spilling…

The earth unbalances you
so you lean on the concrete pavement
ineptly breathing in the air
filtering out the freshness
No matter how deep it gets
Not enough

Rain makes you nauseous
Wind knocks you out
Give up
Sky is grey

She remains
But an image
Unreachable
Distance
The once again
Just the pen’s
Favorite for instants
Insistence on trying
Just seemingly fails
Every time
Love eludes
And unbalances scales
So confusing
How one day
Your path and hers cross
And the next
Couldn’t care less,
But I grieve the loss
And bereave the departed,
The fallen
Once fond
The no longer beside me,
The physically gone
Still remind me
Interminably
In eternity
I am the drifter
Through rifts in absurdity