"shellshock" poems
We are condemned to
pass by
in the smudged opacity
of bygone oil lamps
It is in these clandestine
exchanges -
Between pulsating nettle
stings in lightless anguish
just behind my eyes -
I steal treasured glimpses
of your timeless features
painted in
faded sepia tone depiction
of war torn Soldaderas
Lips carrying traces of shellshock
Eyes that speak
of barbed wire carved laceration
and coiled braids telling the story
of combat
As we sneak past the ruins
of failed uprisings
We defy this sorrow -
this separation
with a slow
sensual brush
of fingertips
across each others palms
A substitute for our
unrelenting passion
that must carry us through
until we meet again
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 10:36 AM UTC
Sometime an umbrella’s just a rabbit
and sometimes horses are never to be rode upon.
Sometimes a mother’s tears are foolish
and sometimes sons don’t want to come home.
Sometimes pearly whites and smiles surround
and sometimes teeth detach and dagger backs.
But a dream is just that, “a dream is just that” –
but a wandering, but a dread, if only damnation;
and a “ta, tada, aha!” The wizard’s returned before
we realize we’re all magic, fooled and the foolish –
Incarnations, infestations, imaginations,
and messes come ends, damnations, the victims.
Heaping distress and all of our own accord,
your accord, our accord, notarized the
Nooses ‘round our necks.
Oct 22, 2016
Oct 22, 2016 at 12:26 AM UTC
I knew you were damaged and broken
But I never knew how much
You hid it so well at times
This thing with us was new
I couldn't tell at first how hurt you were
There came a day
When we went on this special date
You surprised me
By taking me out to the country
Setting up a beautiful scene
In front of a mountain view
Under the stars
For a while, all was fine and normal
Then, tears started out of your eyes
You became so angry
Before I knew it, I was on the ground
Shellshock and dumbfound
Part of me wanted to get up and fight
The other part knew you never meant to
My face already feeling the ramifications of the attack
When you saw what you had done
I had never seen such horror before
Your eyes so wide
Kneeling down and tenderly grabbing my face
Kissing me
Punctuating each with I'm sorry
Trying to console and reassure you
It was alright
But we both knew it wasn't alight or okay
You needed healing
When I got home
Making you sure you were gone
Before I went in alone
Trying to hide the injury under my hat
Run to my room as fast as I could
Without looking stupid
He was coming down the hall
Asking how things went
I replied then went on
But he could tell; he could see things weren't okay with me
He blocked my way
Then gently lifted my hat
Much similar to your reaction, he responded with horror
Wide eyes, confusion and then realization
Anger came right after that
I knew he was going **** you
Putting my hands on his chest
Blocking his forward passage
Stopping him
Telling him the situation
Almost yelling at him
There were things he didn't know
That I did and understood
Then the door bell rang
Suddenly, desperation was replaced with horror
I knew exactly who it was
……And so did he
May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013 at 12:17 PM UTC
A perfect entity:
Past life regression as a metaphysical act of war,
Held still in flashes of light from beyond mirrors, captured in essence for sake of eternal memory, martyred for sake of one or two moments of hallelujah before total collapse,
Divinity! Break the silence! Moan your lovers name! *** into oblivion! Leave pieces of your kaleidoscope skin on the shellshock floors of echo chamber bedrooms for someone to find and remember you by!
Listen! The voices of the great suicide angels crack and bleed through stereos! This is the last great art form! This is how you establish a dialogue between yourself and abyss! The black hole named God will take your calls but will not return your light once it has left your eyes!
How beautiful you look like this, defending your faith from the hawks of war, eyes lit by the turbines of jet engines burning fossil fuels on towards confrontation, hair falling in waves around a single demarcation point that reads: THE ****** AND THE SAVED,
Try hard not to think about where you fall on any kind of spectrum,
Be fluid and give only vague directions,
Paint self portraits out of what you can learn from static,
Static is the only way our gods know how to communicate,
You have to tread lightly around an ego so fragile,
Return home when the damage is done,
Home where you were a Joan Baez marquee moon in my memories of sunflowers!
Home where you were a Carl Sandburg eulogy read in tripping staccato!
Home where you leave your lights on all the time to ward off spirits!
Home where your shadow climbs higher and higher into the night and leaves your soul behind!
Home where you listened for the sounds of Pagan rituals through the walls and hoped to find salvation in a chanted chorus!
Home where you let the deep red shades of a thousand electro shock patients turn your machinery towards eternal rest!
Home where I love you as a perfect entity in radioactive decay!
Home where you love me, and my great way of forgetting
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 6:17 PM UTC
Shellshock and butterflies
The drop of my heart when i see your eyes
The shake in my bones when i hear your laugh
Shellshock and butterflies
Never thought I'd say
Love at first sight
I bearly know your name
But can describe the colour of your eyes
Dark oak and honey bees
A labyrinth full of trees
I want to never find my way out
I run in circles, i never even try
I look and look but can't seem to find my mind
The sunlight, it shines in your eyes
But it doesn't hurt, the light
It's a cure for my starved sight
In the end you're just a stranger on the streets
You won't remember me
While i'll still be captured in a dream
I'd be lost in forstes of brown
And leaves falling down
A autumn wave of love carrying a sour note
What a view, know i miss it
You don't know me by my name
You won't remember my laugh or my eyes
But you're the muse
To my long lived love life
I'll admire you till im sick
Of watching you live in a bliss
Long after your memories turn to dust
Of me trying my very best to make you laugh
I want to know your worst secrets
What you dream of at night
The deepes dark of your mind
And the way your soul still shines
The way you act around your friends
Passionate discussions and soft embraces
Sober laughs and drunken talks
I want to know when you look in the mirror
and hate the sight
Caus baby i want you to be mine
Shellshok and butterflies
I meet your eyes i know you knew
I was caught in your air
I got addicted of your name
You won't remember me
But that's fine
As long as you let me use
your beauty as a muse
Emotions hidden in longlost words
And never said out loud thoughts
You live in my mind
Don't mind me borroring your time
In my imaginary land you'd notice me the same
You'd still think about the way
I left without saying goodby
Maybe one day we'll meet again
And you'll recognise the way my eyes brighten
The way my checks reden
When you talk and laugh
When you take my air and be yourself
Even though i don't know enough
And you couldn't be bother to learn
I still hope
One day we'll meet and when the sun catches you right
I'Il get to take a foto burned into my mind
To never forget that night
That day that feeling
When i saw your eyes
For the very first time
And maybe thats why
After shellshock and butterflies
I still look for a stranger
Wandering the streets, living there life
All the god **** time
Dec 14, 2024
Dec 14, 2024 at 9:16 AM UTC
Well these days I'm not fine
Sitting and staring at flowers that aren't mine
Breathing a breeze that smells of seawater
Thinking of my heart beneath those distant waves
I need someone but no one can help me
Everyone says to "get some help please"
What does that look like through my lenses?I
Help for you is not help for me
Help for them is not help you you
Help for me is a mystery
Shrouded and ambiguous
It flies like migrating birds far beyond my reach
Jun 14, 2019
Jun 14, 2019 at 4:59 PM UTC