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Marls 7d
Shellshock and butterflies
The drop of my heart when i see your eyes
The shake in my bones when i hear your laugh
Shellshock and butterflies
Never thought I'd say
Love at first sight

I bearly know your name
But can describe the colour of your eyes
Dark oak and honey bees
A labyrinth full of trees
I want to never find my way out
I run in circles, i never even try
I look and look but can't seem to find my mind

The sunlight, it shines in your eyes
But it doesn't hurt, the light
It's a cure for my starved sight

In the end you're just a stranger on the streets
You won't remember me
While i'll still be captured in a dream
I'd be lost in forstes of brown
And leaves falling down
A autumn wave of love carrying a sour note

What a view, know i miss it
You don't know me by my name
You won't remember my laugh or my eyes
But you're the muse
To my long lived love life

I'll admire you till im sick
Of watching you live in a bliss
Long after your memories turn to dust
Of me trying my very best to make you laugh

I want to know your worst secrets
What you dream of at night
The deepes dark of your mind
And the way your soul still shines
The way you act around your friends
Passionate discussions and soft embraces
Sober laughs and drunken talks

I want to know when you look in the mirror
and hate the sight
Caus baby i want you to be mine

Shellshok and butterflies
I meet your eyes i know you knew
I was caught in your air
I got addicted of your name
You won't remember me
But that's fine

As long as you let me use
your beauty as a muse
Emotions hidden in longlost words
And never said out loud thoughts
You live in my mind
Don't mind me borroring your time
In my imaginary land you'd notice me the same
You'd still think about the way
I left without saying goodby

Maybe one day we'll meet again
And you'll recognise the way my eyes brighten
The way my checks reden
When you talk and laugh
When you take my air and be yourself
Even though i don't know enough
And you couldn't be bother to learn
I still hope
One day we'll meet and when the sun catches you right
I'Il get to take a foto burned into my mind
To never forget that night
That day that feeling
When i saw your eyes
For the very first time

And maybe thats why
After shellshock and butterflies
I still look for a stranger
Wandering the streets, living there life
All the ******* time
Vilakshan Gaur Jan 2015
Shellshock! Unfateful birth
out the wretched womb you're thrown
Witness! seraphic spawn
bright light burns your skin and bones
Cry now! So you may breathe
humanity's corroding fumes
Live now! And be deceived
this gift of life will be your doom
Wake now! Your slumber's up
your number's up, you cannot leave
Open! Your sea blue eyes
they tell no lies they cannot weave
And be free! With shackles, chained
you will conform just like the rest
Give up! Or be condemned
and be crushed dead just like a pest
Or ***** this! And speak your mind
raise your voice till ears bleed
Rise up! You clueless child
break your chains and so be freed
And riot! With every breath
let anger be your dearest friend
Bite hard! Let fear be spread
let tears be seen and ears be lent
Faceless! Be nameless now
ageless times are on the way
Smother! Their baseless claims
and raise hell till their heads are razed
Be silent! For now you rest
you will show calm, and raging wrath
Be violent! When needed so
and smile throughout the burning path
Liam C Calhoun Oct 2016
Sometime an umbrella’s just a rabbit
and sometimes horses are never to be rode upon.

Sometimes a mother’s tears are foolish
and sometimes sons don’t want to come home.

Sometimes pearly whites and smiles surround
and sometimes teeth detach and dagger backs.

But a dream is just that, “a dream is just that” –
but a wandering, but a dread, if only damnation;

and a “ta, tada, aha!” The wizard’s returned before
we realize we’re all magic, fooled and the foolish –

Incarnations, infestations, imaginations,
and messes come ends, damnations, the victims.

Heaping distress and all of our own accord,
your accord, our accord, notarized the

Nooses ‘round our necks.
Jack Jenkins Jun 2019
Well these days I'm not fine
Sitting and staring at flowers that aren't mine
Breathing a breeze that smells of seawater
Thinking of my heart beneath those distant waves

I need someone but no one can help me
Everyone says to "get some help please"
What does that look like through my lenses?I

Help for you is not help for me
Help for them is not help you you
Help for me is a mystery

Shrouded and ambiguous
It flies like migrating birds far beyond my reach
//On anxiety//
Amy Grindhouse Jan 2014
We are condemned to
pass by
in the smudged opacity
of bygone oil lamps
It is in these clandestine
exchanges -
Between pulsating nettle
stings in lightless anguish
just behind my eyes -
I steal treasured glimpses
of your timeless features
painted in
faded sepia tone depiction
of war torn Soldaderas

Lips carrying traces of shellshock
Eyes that speak
of barbed wire carved laceration
and coiled braids telling the story
of combat

As we sneak past the ruins
of failed uprisings
We defy this sorrow -
this separation
with a slow
sensual brush
of fingertips
across each others palms
A substitute for our
unrelenting passion
that must carry us through
until we meet again
Leira May 2013
I knew you were damaged and broken
But I never knew how much
You hid it so well at times
This thing with us was new
I couldn't tell at first how hurt you were
There came a day
When we went on this special date
You surprised me
By taking me out to the country
Setting up a beautiful scene
In front of a mountain view
Under the stars
For a while, all was fine and normal
Then, tears started out of your eyes
You became so angry
Before I knew it, I was on the ground
Shellshock and dumbfound
Part of me wanted to get up and fight
The other part knew you never meant to
My face already feeling the ramifications of the attack
When you saw what you had done
I had never seen such horror before
Your eyes so wide
Kneeling down and tenderly grabbing my face
Kissing me
Punctuating each with I'm sorry
Trying to console and reassure you
It was alright
But we both knew it wasn't alight or okay
You needed healing
When I got home
Making you sure you were gone
Before I went in alone
Trying to hide the injury under my hat
Run to my room as fast as I could
Without looking stupid
He was coming down the hall
Asking how things went
I replied then went on
But he could tell; he could see things weren't okay with me
He blocked my way
Then gently lifted my hat
Much similar to your reaction, he responded with horror
Wide eyes, confusion and then realization
Anger came right after that
I knew he was going **** you
Putting my hands on his chest
Blocking his forward passage
Stopping him
Telling him the situation
Almost yelling at him
There were things he didn't know
That I did and understood
Then the door bell rang
Suddenly, desperation was replaced with horror
I knew exactly who it was
……And so did he
Part one of Three
Tyler King May 2016
A perfect entity:
Past life regression as a metaphysical act of war,
Held still in flashes of light from beyond mirrors, captured in essence for sake of eternal memory, martyred for sake of one or two moments of hallelujah before total collapse,
Divinity! Break the silence! Moan your lovers name! *** into oblivion! Leave pieces of your kaleidoscope skin on the shellshock floors of echo chamber bedrooms for someone to find and remember you by!
Listen! The voices of the great suicide angels crack and bleed through stereos! This is the last great art form! This is how you establish a dialogue between yourself and abyss! The black hole named God will take your calls but will not return your light once it has left your eyes!
How beautiful you look like this, defending your faith from the hawks of war, eyes lit by the turbines of jet engines burning fossil fuels on towards confrontation, hair falling in waves around a single demarcation point that reads: THE ****** AND THE SAVED,
Try hard not to think about where you fall on any kind of spectrum,
Be fluid and give only vague directions,
Paint self portraits out of what you can learn from static,
Static is the only way our gods know how to communicate,
You have to tread lightly around an ego so fragile,
Return home when the damage is done,
Home where you were a Joan Baez marquee moon in my memories of sunflowers!
Home where you were a Carl Sandburg eulogy read in tripping staccato!
Home where you leave your lights on all the time to ward off spirits!
Home where your shadow climbs higher and higher into the night and leaves your soul behind!
Home where you listened for the sounds of Pagan rituals through the walls and hoped to find salvation in a chanted chorus!
Home where you let the deep red shades of a thousand electro shock patients turn your machinery towards eternal rest!
Home where I love you as a perfect entity in radioactive decay!
Home where you love me, and my great way of forgetting
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2020
ever since i've quit smoking: beside those two
self-congratulatory puffs at the end of
each day...
                    more and more people are smoking...
in movies...
        they look so... content with
the stampede of the locomotive breath...
                interludes into 5 minute incissions
of absolutely dis-satisfaction...

                    4th of july... some variation
of independence day...
                      i'm planning to visit Loon'don...
for a sport of: zoology...
                i'll take a hubris and hiatus magic
pouch of liqour with me...
expecting: riots...
                  
        peacocks and pistachios...
            porcupines and pomegranates...
molotov cocktails and bagpies...
               i just want to see... oxford circus
yawn... i want to take the scenic route
of a promenade upon stepping off
the tube...
        perform the dull task...
of... window-shopping for mannequin
in restaurants...

    oh god... i'll have to trim my beard...
dissolve some sugar in water
and put it in my hair so: stick-ing anti-wind
gravitas...
             i'll walk this mistanthrope
on a leash of good riddles...
            i'll play the part of someone from
norwich...
    not someone from romford...
              Loon'don the tease from
Mashiter's Hill...
              plain as day: the sky-line in
my hungry eyes...
  almost towing a cow:
                  
         and of course i want to be seen...
how otherwise not so settle the matters
of sensibility...
of this ******-fest of: the obeying conundrum...
4 dada suicides: published by atlas press
in an edition of 1000 copies...
2005...
         what a fraction i do own....

        arthur cravan among the four...
the nephew or... some variant of...
related to... oscar wilde...
                 yes... the physiognomy
are a steal... in terms of what's resembled...

  i trip down: don't tempt me... memory
lane...
   world was I: and the war...
   the dada movement in Zurich....
   cabaret voltaire...
                        Geneva? well...
fast paced betting...
          live and try to not get rich...
something to get by... working for...
a loitering wage...
if you gave me... 2 tonnes of soil...
a tonne of gravel... and said...
3 hours...
                 fair-*******-afro-frenzy
    and enough...
         but "work" as a loitering...
                     what "lockdown"?
the neighbour finally put up a fence
after 15 years of her being implored...
the old roots and stumps had to be dug
up... all the way from
late february...
     a new shed... 13sqm of wimbledon
turf to admire and water...
                       i have to forbid myself
joy... though... in telling my maternal
grandfather: i've quit smoking...
    before he dies: and i pretend to wish
to grow old: i hope this happens...
this... carrier pigeon message is passed...

only today the bewildering... sacrilege...
i was watching: corpus christi...
2019... point being...
it was in my native tongue...
with english subtitles...
         i can't pretend...
   i was more eager to read the subtitles
than to listen to the "mother"
and the "father"...
      sure as hell and that they will die...
this language will die in the vicinity...
then within me...
who am i going to speak it to...
i can imagine... "30 years of and tomorrow"...
and i'll speak it:
zapomniejać mówienie po polsku...

russian interlude i'd call them...
i'll most certainly not me...
a lithuanian ****** miłoš....
              i have to arrive at the prospect...
i am not really arriving at
a country left... or a country arrived at...
"nation": ah ha!
                     siamese twin horror:
bilingual freaks...
             i was always told to shy
away from the concept of a diaspora...
unlike... the jew the italian...
the russian oligarchy...
                      and english...
what... i... made... of... it...

neu-concept...
              i... a pronoun category word...
some obnoxious... reflexive-reflective
quadratic of anti-narcissus...
i: a pronoun... perhaps...
but i as... king george minded...
i: verb!

                          i will take: will i?
i like the idea of the 4th of july...
the tokyo olympics...
that one event in the sport calendar...
when... i don't feel infringed...
with a body capacity to...
perform... a palé - i do have a body...
for greek wrestling...
antithesis judo...
but sure as **** a plethora of body shapes...
ping-pong table assured...
click-bait... without a tennis racket...
and that's why...
squash would have been a good
choice to join the olympic racket...
olympiaco(s) raquettes...

   lofty body builders... ant-worshipping...
not relevant though...
sprint a 100m...
climb 100m...
    clearly toned equilibrium bodies...
bouldering and baseball...
no squash...
     tennis is hardly an olympic
sport...
           it's a money sport...
it's a riviera elton john slim jr.
sort of sport...
football? it's a money sport...
rugby? it's a ******* sort of sport...
football is about as much
an olympic sport as...
a curse of a sneeze...
the only reason why brazil
staged the sporting affair was...
because they lost the world cup...
blah blah...

       squash should be an olympic
sport... why it isn't...
and forest ******* gump
can have his... ping(o)-pong(o)
   berlusconi parties: minus... tony blaire...
is all the reason to note...

hmm... blaire... white... that tehran
trans whizz kid...
   i see... no... no... absolutely...
not similarities... within the confines...
of... "a borrowed shadow" of...
   eva longoria...

i had the same plans for halloween...
the same plans for prague...
prague i can forgive myself...
mother has a hip-replacement...
and i'm all up-and-arms: ******...
like the good boy scout
buffalo billy-oh / geiny boy!

                to suffer from a lack of ****...
is not... to find jokes in language:
when one still has... itchy finger-tips...
"suffer"... and "lack of ****"...
best resolve... no clingy p.s.
             no... cuckoldry...
    the fabled ex-girlfriend of mine...
ex-....
   ****... how old am i? 34...
an ex- from... ah... ha ha... when i was 21...
prostitutes... a thai surprise...
and a black girl done at random
when i hosted my own birthday party...
with an art of an *** so tight...
i received a plum tattoo above...
where her coccyx decided to toy with
the... "art of mechnical reproduction"...

walter... "waterboy"... benjamin?
herowitz? i too had a really ****** surname...
like... ******... like stalin...
catholic ploy... take the best of the three given...
we also reserve an option of a fourth
when you... decide to... become...
confirmed... lucky for some atheists:
who have been... unlucky for me...

of the people that stayed...
    of the people that left...
             unlucky for me...
   those that left: didn't "leave"...
the australians...
            left and "left" and it's not like...
they came back speaking
total ******* cockney...

       it's not that i'm even confused...
"overwhelmed" with emotions...
that reveal themselves...
to have to be... perpetually... displaced...
post-modernist...
quack for doctor...
quasi for marxist astute!

                my ideal ex... rich girl...
one spare apartment in st. petersburg...
riches in novosibirsk...
      educated in england...
   look at me... i ****** a rich ****...
a prop'ah... rich ****...
a russian rich ****...
   not old english sloth dough...
not a reperations **** of worship
that choc-a-bloc-of-sowwy...
  a real... oyster binding with teeth
sort of libido... well! ha! lucky me!
for a ******! she's not a mongrel 2nd
class citizen of the turnip and tulip
and...
   beg R'ah-R'ah-Rhapso-silly-Pullin'-Tin!

you know... i can remember
the love at first sights in my life...
she... Ilona... i experienced in reverse...
two girls were trying to fry some
pancakes...
she hook and sinkered my iPod...
while i refined the idea of pancakes...
she looked like...
something the ugly duckling
would bully at... duck school...
filled her gob... smart...

        yeah yeah...
but i do remember all the times
i experienced love at  first sight...
and their names...
the best horror movie i would ever land
in being a critique for...

1. Milena...
                          2. Kot...
      i can't remember her name...
that's her surnane... she had...
                   two younger sisters... twins...
3. samantha... st. augustine's primary school...
4. janina (canon palmer... an ugly affair...
    i hoped i made reperations to...
joining art class and giving her a rose)
    5. gemma la porte...
  6. emma... a big... ******* sensation...
  7. let's just call her Sancha...
  irish girl... two years older than me...
still in highschool...
8. Isabella... the french psychology student...
and god begot: a loss of virginity...
   9. priya...
     who's the 6 / 7...
             the sister of my first girlfriend...
which would make... a 18 year old...
a pedohpile with a... 15? year old...
                      10. predates 4...
cameron diaz in the mask...
    11. is a cameflouge of Ilona...
my love at first sight in reverse...
if i stayed long enough...
i would have ***** myself to oogle
my eyes out and **** her like
some aria giovanni clone...
                big siberian nose...
her myopia and being plasyfully teasing
"short"...
yes yes... beside that... massive plum
bullseye...
        we must call that:
                wetted ****: seconds...
  
see... i have this cinema in my mind...
of first loves... loves at first sights...
more thirsts rather than thrills...
and... then i want to see Loon'don...
in zoological modus operandi...
i want to see...
    window-shopping for mannequins
of... sylvia plath borderline psychotic
shoelaces of soul...

         i want to shop for...
the agony confined to... raised eyebrows
and the confines of... all things made
easily extreme bound to ****** expression...
having to... self-lacerate...
before the pro-social cordial...
i want to see the future martians...
misantrophes... like-oid mois...

i can honestly be trusted with "love"...
call it the muse....
first sighting...
her moles her first trickled...
lob of the forgotten kiss...
the whirlwind thorough lintany...
her lapse in a guarantee of
ear lobes...
    like my... "shy"...
                  occipital lobe....
investigated by janina...
                                
                           that little light in a tunnel...
a summer in masovia... or mongolia...
or.. whatever is called...
crisp... and doughnut...
idaho... jeffrey: jeff'ohs "napoleon dynamite"...
    dahmer...
                                 mon'ghouls:
the goos of the freely rejected...
cousin Sib is no mal. and frying up
with word-blob Sah...
          -eria              contra...
bloat-zilla...                -ara...
                               death-stow genius no-no...
trans-nanny has an eastender melt-meow-down...
the opera goes: fly-be-fwee:
lucky luke and the fervour
of the force for a complete...
****-lawd comeback town: towwie...
gripping basics...
                       king jefffers...
and jaffa... and khalidha...
     and lay-tea-cia... milkin' dozens...
**** ****...
      ******* whapping 'inge...
                 cwy: rhapsody... remembers
to trill that Sysiphus... and -esque...
              
        ***** and blahs the world over
for...  solidarity of...
compensated vitriol...
       jeff is an ugly u(n)(c)kle...
jeff is a ****** loon:
serenity... theme park expactation
project: alpha 50.9...
     he's an an FM in frequence...
and best listened to:
when "reading was a thing":
typo... of digest...
a **** queen and ***** quag...

             calofornian subtitles...
ever since...
   ever since... a petty Hague and Hue...
european conquest of time...
and something akin to
h'america... and its louisiana purchase:
ratio no. 2!
fly-over **** Iowa...

  it's not like... croatia was...
the Balkans was such a small: and ditto:
afffair of... inbreeding folks...
lord: lowd and...
spandex 1980s Berlin to...
give revenue in all things
that catered in retaining...
a loathing of... pertained to...
CWISP...
                    trill the R who?
the french hark it...
the english... larp...
woebot... for every robot...
they... tarantulla tongue numb
that...

                 whyming...
RHYME-B'OH...
            ******* kings and queens...
it's the "united states":
having to annex the forntiers...
the annex
on conquistador...
velcommen mingling xo xo xo...

the "encrypted" sexuality
of a the concept of female hands...
misguided by the proportions...
best hid in a niqab...
but when exposed: pork meets...
buffalo-slingers...
no... arab / camel jockey hands...
are not beijing...
or ***... porcelein hands...
you could... **** a ******* camel neck...
and i am: the beck unfucked cockrel
you best wish: yawn-yacht...
you never never...
ever... called a forking...

   arab women have these fat
hands that black women...
would require... 12" of envy
a white anorexic would require of them...
to muster...
a blasphemy and... a kenyan litany...
some of that sort...
all i know...
jesus be all big with...
                   post-apocalyptic
protestantism in post-colonial...
"oops" of the 21st century...
          forgive i.e. tow what?

               how about...
i allow my grandfather a death
by demetia...
               and then i wait...
i wait for nothing...
or i wait for: "history"...
no... sooner i wait for...
the brothel... than this bollocking waste
of time of... frank zappa is...
burning up like...
            a heretic...
                    within...
a 1m sq. of a proximity to mecca!

how fortunate: the man with... none...
              how fortunate...
             the grievance of a man with so much...
to have to... find...
poker-dole... facing...
a man with the queen's penny...
i am a man worth of a queen's penny...
does that even become know...
respected...
for all the money grieved into
making up...
the honoruable citizens' tax invested:
"quest"...
i am... its last...
           radical... and...
                                     royalist...
i have to come...
with a parade of worded -ings
and thinning paroles!

                         this birth of a new:
a nation of fat-whips and bores!
              let me become inclined to leisure...
for the lost revelation of
a tenure of fiction!

what was "once" a female...
has "become" the homosexual...
what was "once"... the mother in law...
has now "become": the bridget...
and nuance shellshock...
               fraserburgh... kid-joy... ****...
an ode to: joe... the...
                       ben nevis and bon jovi
of... the... "nuanced"...
and...                 "pioneers":
all best reserved...
   for the alaskan and the louisina purchase...
and...
the lost told tide of...
the spaniards: arms...
goths... north africa...
reconquista...
conquistadors...
sooth talking some mayans
and aztecs into: "in-breeding"...
        miriad... moors...
gives us a tan... us... whitey loop holes...
  tanning with a mongrel
cocktail a mongol...
typo... tan ****-up tao...
tanning with tao...
tow tufu **** what?!
       beijing fwend a fwied deifying
pig loco?
vibes... first locomotive **** promo...
last fist comes first and thirst...
no... samuel beckett's sore...
so... sore n'oh m'aw...
   savvy... you... *******... gooseberry
savoured prim nancy?!
(alternately titled: eye temporarily
lost sight of reason.)

Yesterday - March (7th) madness overtook me
toward she, yours truly did marry,
I nearly subjected mine flesh to harakiri.

Yours truly (earnestly and frankly)
got royally zapped!

Last night (exhibiting frolicsome mien),
she hurled an orange at lightspeed,
I yowled and yapped,
cuz red hotted poker raging anger wrapped
tightly around me psyche
wherein dark shadows
(think... a long edge of night) got trapped

as the edge of night (psychologically)
violently overtook mine ordinarily
calm, cool and collected
triggered reaction, whereby I nearly snapped
ready to **** a mockingbird named A* Robin
otherwise (and ofttimes) referenced as missus.

Her countenance turned ghostly white
Count Dracula summoned forth – think twilight
less than twenty four hours ago
to rectify paralyzing pernicious plight,
I wanted to learn the wife a life lesson
courtesy her tarnished rusty knight,
who plays fair and square
on the metaphorical chessboard of life
savoring bloodlust did excite.

Within flash doggone mailer daemon
(inside me noggin) became docile as a whelp.

After sense and sensibility returned,
I felt mortified at such murderous zeal
dumbfoundedly blinked
after dialing down the terrorizing wheel,
ceasing (once and for all)
poetic antics of generic schlemiel
hearty victuals for tri county newsreel

finding yours truly locked
even sentenced to life in prison
deadly rupture (regarding
motherless grown daughters)
time could never heal
self made widower for justice,
he would not appeal.

Urgency arises to air
aforementioned shellshock with Renee Cardone
the Springford therapist my soul I bare
lest yours truly could (hypothetically)
strapped (ohm my dog) to electric chair
despite no premeditation to declare

insanity - nasty, short and brutish existence
not forgivable courtesy loosed beast
prompting rhetorical question pertaining
to trying circumstances human err
well I could (lamely) blame outburst
on prominent solar flare

nsync with mine jammed cognitive gear
linkedin with rational thinking
necessitating appropriate healthcare
til death do me part
cue wizened old man holed
in walled dank lair

feeble minded kept within
jail cell hermitage amazingly enough
sixty plus shades of gray matter
offers yours truly ample time
to experience and/or accept personal prayer
and meditation reading, and playing solitaire.

— The End —