Flipping another page,
But I already know that the words sound gross,
I hate my position and the cards been dealt,
The feelings that were felt,
And the hand I took,
Made me have to relook,
At what's in store,
We can't see it as a volcano,
On a distant island,
But man its tough to see the helicopter,
Made of sticks,
I promised that my heart never quits,
So ill dig my toes in the sand,
Outside my heartbreak hotel,
And watch as my emotional Malibu,
Goes to hell.

What's the worst type of hurt? Was it your first actual boyfriend? Or Was it your First Love? Was it because they cheated and left you broken, asking why? Could it have been one of your parents? Or a grandparent passing away. Was it an aunt or uncle? Did they do something to you? Was it mental or physical abuse? Could it be that guy you didn't actually date? Was it a ***** teacher or coach? Did someone touch you inappropriately? Was it that best friend? Did they betray your trust? Was it a coworker or boss? Could be it have been that stranger?  Who broke you to the point you thought there was no coming back? Which traumatic event of your life made you relook at life and rethink everything? What happened that makes you overthink every relationship you have? What hurt you the most?

we call it the light within, the core of our lives
critical to our survival, a light for all to see
we think it encompasses our conscience heart
mind, we think it is the reflection of our thoughts,
our very existence compressed into a glowing
ember of hope, love and life

we think that without it, death comes quick
and quiet, and quietly and quickly we go too
the air of our spirits, a fiery burst of determination
in even the darkest of days, a spark to revive
the flame that burns, an explosion of our colours
the very essence of ourselves

we don’t question why we think this way, we don’t
question how it burns, how it survives as well
we don’t see how it is a rock on fire, we don’t see
the price we pay, we don’t feel the tug on our
minds and hearts, how among the three, it is so
heavy, so so heavy, but we just can’t see

how does fire burn? it needs fuel, and we are the
fuel, burning us from the inside out, charring our
minds and hearts to a perfect crunchy crisp,
growing bigger and bigger, all-consuming just
like the humans are, always wanting more when
they already have more and getting less in the end
and still wanting more

slowly, we are overtaken by the flames we worship
as will everything in the end reduced to what we
actually are - a speck of dust in a universe
a universe of dust in a speck, reduced to ashes of
broken pride and nonexistent esteem, lost motivation
and dying wills, never realising their mistakes even
at the moment they die

i pity them. i pity their fake wings fake bodies fake
humans, their invisible burdens which are oh so
visible through uncovered eyes, resting on broken
backs, sprouting from the failing roots of a lost
life, desperately grabbing onto strands of sanity,
when they really are just tightening their own
noose

maybe their tears are their saving grace, wetting
their faces and hearts and minds so they don’t
immediately burst into ashes, the soaking mess
of misery grief and hopelessness, ironically
the things pulling them down to earth, keeping
them wet, so the fire of their soul does not
burn them up and out just yet

a relook at the soul: the spark within, tame at first
sight, before we feed it and do so gladly, spiralling
into a deadly monster of fire and darkness and all
we can do is to pacify satisfy it, with our minds and
souls and bodies till we fall back onto the fiery
soil as soil and soil once more

maybe humans deserve this life, and souls are just
blessings in disguise, and their ashes are meant
to be borne of the sky and sea, finally disappearing into particles of existence that
pollute our minds hearts souls.

or maybe they deserve a chance to fall asleep in
death’s soft arms.