Constent sound
That's all I hear bickering
They say it's not there
That I'm a white boy ther be nouthing wroung with me
They say all I seek Is atenten
That can't be it since I suffer in silence, cry alone, and to finely stifle the noise, I Speek allowed to them so at less one voice would exit the 9th layer of hell I call my mand
They will never see and I will never Speeking of the voices which drive my imaginations into contplations of zombie ends and thretical debates,  that will shake your minds, hell it cripples mine, the constant debates of there's ******* my mind,  so all I can do is stifle those two words that would not make a lick of a difference, for if I let them slip people will just look at me, and think I'm rebelling "o he's a white boy, he must think our talking is beneath him, he will never know true pain like us minorities"
Ye,ah That's me the majority seeking ******* of minority, causing hell since I never experience it. I am nouthing but an anarkish heaven that sees nouthing but the color of ****, a complete pestmistick
They don't under stand; hell I don't understand my mind ether but to say I'm the majority, is dead wroung, what makes them minority, collor, religion, these I been taught means nouthing and nouthing they are Becuse there thoughts, their harts binds them to all races, not one thought or filling is independent to there race, these groing minority have sunken to the idea that they be the minority but no that is me, the one who can't sit in silence, with out rocking with pain, the words "shut up" forever on my lips dripping with mumbles of zombies and flames as high as buildings with me on top of the talist yelling I'm not insain I'm not insain I'm not insain Until finally I'm lost inside the flames.
And if they knew what hell was in my mind that would be worse, they will try to find the problem with scans and question. Did your dadie **** you? Is your brain ****** up? Why don't you just stop this shirade?  
And when thier questions just lead me screem more at them than at my own head they try to fix me for now I'm a danger so they imprison me for something they coused.
So they put me on psycotic medison , and the voices they continue but easer to with stand. But I'm not me any more I'm different I loss so much but can't grasp what it is. They say I'm a success, and I agree because I want to leave. I don't tell them I still hear voices becuse I don't want them to sedate me agin. I don't tell them I've lost the intelligent young man I was or the insitefull guy that could help people with problems that he him self never had but they would not cair all they want is me to be like them because that all they wish to see.
As soon I'm out of the jail I ditch the mids and I return to my insainity. O how the voices seem to be louder as if they was ****** I locked them up..... But I'm me agin or am I them I just might be them but is that a problem i lie to my famly "yea I'm fine," " yea I took them last night," "I'm happy". They believe me not becuse they do but becuse they want to. They never saw a problem befor yea I was strange but functional but as soon as soon they heard I had a problem they jump on it for it means thay have not failed.
But they have not failed the doctors did they saw a man with a problem that need to be cured when there was only a man who had a problem that he needed to live with a problem that made him better and strange a problem that made him different.
With my problem out in the open I become better at hiding my pain until I get back to my to my apartment where I scream, cry and argue but never in that order. Nabbers never new I was different for I sound proof this place.
And that's how I lived, paying for pills I never used, never confinding in anyone for I feared of going back to jail, and I just knew if I ever got back on thouse meds that that when I get off the voices will drown me and I would not make it a night befor I just decided to end my abnormal life

Every day or night my mind grows more curious of the dangerous ways I go. Every day I cheat death even tho his whispers draw me closers to mistakes that can't be reversed. Let's play a game of insanity?
Every rule we break we mend a new insane way of our tricks. A lie brings misfortune as showing you have no boundaries.

My secret I scream is the dead silence on the sleepy hollow cemetery.
  My pain inside my bipolarmind is running wild with energy I could have saved to save my self from the deadly things that grab you.

My nightmares  become a stories that play with me like a horror film that was just shot.

How fast can scream.
Do u want to play with your own darkness or spread the sickening like a wild fire.


I have no heart beat only when life breathes into my lungs.



Dose evil bring good fortune or dose it spill blood like savagely brut let killing a person.



How far do we open up our minds to open ideas for evil or good.

Do u want to play with my mind to full blown destruction that we can't put out.


My pain inside my bipolarmind  is like a lighter starting a spark adding Fulton the fire setting my path of pure blinding aggression.


My pain inside my bipolarmind  is a trap I can't escape only way out is a fight till Insanity  kills me.


Clostrabobic  small room I can't breath I have no place to free any thought leaving me with my demons who have otherwise plans in mind.


Are u insain or can you break the lone and escape your twisted mind.



Let's play a game of mine can you escape and set your self free or will you be traded for inturnity weak and powerless of hope and lost of life.


Are u insain or can you handle your own pain

Laughs with me and smiles but turns around and plans and plots
but I am not weary
I'm prepared for what she's got

I feel no fear just pity and regret
that I let her in my life,never to forget
but weary am I not
for what plans she has got

I may be soft and forgiving but my mind is focused and sure
I may be a rose but my thorns will *****
I may be a doormat,everyone just does with my feelings and heart what they wish but I have always won she just cannot get me down

Jalousy does not consume me,nor does hate
and this is what makes me strong
the wicked witch cannot enchant me for her evil magic to me is gone


Her powers are invain
she goes half insain
when I beat her at her own game
but it's a shame that to hurt me is her aim
for I am the horror of her  world
me?this delicate but yet unbreakable girl!

Forced to have to get along with someone so devious
it's so pythetic and way more hillarious!!!
She will offer me the apple and I will pretend to consume but little does she know,I am her total doom!!!

Go completely insain
Change my name
Cry a billion tears
Tell you that I'm here.
What do I have to do
To make you choose me
Over the boose.

I guess it always hard to choose
from the things that destroy you the things
That tear you apart
The the things that make you
You again

What is our goal in life
Why do we hate the ones that fall
Cause I stumble trip face plant
Life didn't come with a map

And emotions are full of cap
Follow your heart and you will win
Ha. I guess they didn't know what it's like to be me then
Because my heart protects the ones I love more than myself
I end up alone in a pile of hell
I try but I'll never be good enough.
*** I give up on love
Cause I don't know what to do
When I make a choice I always loose

Always look back.
Why did I have to act like that
My dad my mom they left
I can't blame them forever
I make my own choices
And have to face the weather

How dare all of you judge me
You have no idea what my intentions might be
You don't understand the confusion
The need to people please
You have absolutely no idea what kind of strength
It takes to be me
A hell alot of **** ups and misery.

You think I don't know
That you are also in pain
But my dear friend
I am not that insain . . .
It rings like a lie
But I never wanted you to feel
Like pet, a dog
Who needed to heel . . .
I want to hear what you say
But I know what it will do
I'm already crumbling
Alone without you . . .
But that does not mean
That I have spun lies??
I am simply trying to fight
My certain demise . . .
You have hurt me!!!
Straight to the core
But not by going
And trying to find more . . .
You hurt me because you hid
Cept it behind a curtain
Told me pretty words
So now I am uncertain . . .
Because the esance of our love
Was centered around honesty
Something I feel like you broke

That's what burdens me . . .

Little girl afraid of the beach
Gets in to the ocean
Without a peep.
Oceans warmth and creatures
Around her feet.

Then a tide comes nd wraps underneath
Pulling her in by her feet.
She gasps for air until her faced is submerged.  
The air in her lungs slowly fades.
She feels even smaller .
The fight in her slowly disapates.  

The ocean calms and spits her on shore.
But the weirdest thing is she fears the ocean no more.
She experienced it at its ugliest.  
And survived.

Now the ocean seems so wonderful
And she is intrigued
She dives in again
Just to be taken in.
This time was worse she almost died.
You can say it was a fight for her life.

The ocean is still her favorite place.  
Because conquering you're fear is an amazing feat.
Calms her panics her makes her insain.
The challenge the ocean gives the love she receives makes the bad times enjoyable
And the ocean makes her heart skip a beat.

Sometimes the things we fear the most turn out to be the greatest hardest but most precious things.

Your soft lips on mine
It's warm here
In your gentle embrace
Your sweet scent
Intoxicating to me
Your fast heartbeat
So close I can feel it
My fast heartbeat
So strong you can tell
By looking down my blouse
Earthquakes have epicenters too
A smile spreads on my lips
As your warm hands
Get to know me better
Leave your fingerprints on me
And I'll leave mine on you
And I'll be sure
To get to know your body
To touch each sensitive spot
Just long enough
To drive you completely insain
But honey you be sure
To go all the way
Or I might get pouty
And find someone else
To stay and keep me warm

Her love is so intoxicating she paralyzes with her venom. The toxins are kicking in. She medicates my brain leaving the emotions painless. Agin and again i feel like half awake or in acoma where im not alone. She is my angel my god my vissions i see in my head and my dreams. She spins a web where we lay where she lays me down to rest.  Alone i stand in this life a wisper and a scream. This can be real im going to go insain blowing my mind away. What is left only dilusions of the girl i love. The pain come crashing in with the knife you stabed me twisting till the blood stains your blade. I stand in the rain gettting wet. The tears start to bleed crimison red like when you put crimson red lipstick you kiss me all over with. These games the dreams the vissions you left me with give me the strenght to keep walking threw hell i am traped threw. 3 am you are sitting on the couch you drinking red wine or have you finally trapped your next victim and ****** all his blood out of his vains to show you are my true love. Your love is so strong my night mars never seem to exist when you have me tighlt in your arms. Everyday i see buring firery hell i see people suffer for all there sins they have left scares all over. I will walk threw the vall of death just to be with my wife with her intoxicating aroma she suduces me with. Temtation will only bring me missery. My prince i love you i will catch all the threats in my web making sure your safe. No harm will come when you follow me threw the heavens and hells. She has bit me showing me a life with painless begainaings and endings. My life has been nothing but full of darkness pain and endless battles. My wife is like a black widdow her venom sinks in to my vains like needles setting all my pain go away she sets my fear and endless terros away. She promised me i will not die one breath at a time. She picked me up off the floor when i was to weak to keep going. Everyday my dreams change all i see is her right in front of me her venom gave be the visions of a millions dreams. The thunder storme breakes my silence when the fear is to much to bear. I drift in to my own grave awake or asleep. Feeling like im floating motionless in the ocean where the wakes ******* me down to a wattery grave. Before i get taken she grabes my wrist and pulles me to safty where i will not be dead. I feel like the rain sends my soul away dancing in the rain. Playing with fire is what i like to do she is my little widle fire i love to play with. Her long blond hair leaves me speechless. Everything seems to go crazy into my endless fight i face every day. Every battle i face she always stand by my side and fights all of the darkeast demons that torment me every night and day. Leaving my mind a damgerious thing to play with. My night mar becomes real when i start seeing the demons who have been chasing me threw this endless hell i shall rise to the heavens. I will cast my own shadow to play a psychotic game i like to do when your heart burst with all your emotions at once till your hollow inside.  In the middle of the night i sit up with fear and tears screaming my wifes name even tho she is right next to me. Its 4am nights i see with no sleep upp all night thinking all my thoughts. What is real what is true what is fake. Its time to embrace all the pain you feel and anger you go into. My soul is yours to take her fangs i feel it under my skin feeling like im being burned alive. Her love is all i need to to stay alive her love is what makes my life painless. But she suduces me then gives me her venom leaving me paralyzed into her love and powers of love lust and suductions its our own 50shades of grey with our love we have every day night .

With out her i will slowly drift into madness i will slowly go insain losing everything i hade slowly dying one breath at a time.

Here I am again standing in the gray
Lost in the sway
Lost in the fray
At times standing in my own way

When everything around you doesn't matter
People's voices become just chatter
It couldn't get much sadder
I've been lost in the scatter

Yet somethings remain the same
My soul is still aflame
With all that's insain
Nothing left to reclaim

Even though the winds of time have changed
I'm still here to the past chained
The smile that plays about on my face is constrained
As catastroph and sorrow on my head rained

Dee-ee-ay-tee-aych
Du-eh-thh
It roles off my tounge
Du-eh-thh
Is is this the end?
Maybe its only just begun

Just the word instills fear
Du-eh-thh*
Makes them shake
Quiver
Shiver
Even shed a few tears

Am I wrong to think its beautiful?

Du-eh-thhhh
Peace and Freedom
"freedom from what?"
  Life my friend
Life and all its fake 'happily ever afters'
  How can you possibly expect us to mend?
To pick up the shity peices and put them back together again
  Were like bats who have frogotten how to hang in the rafters
We dont no how to cope
  We will be the end
How can there be any happily ever afters
  Im afraid ive lost all hope

Am I going insain?
Or am just reaching clarity

Du-eh-thh
Dark
Quiet
Nonexistance
gone

They see it as the end
You see, but even just the word roles off your tounge
Ah, yes myfriend
Its all just begun
Dont you see?
Death is the only way to go
Its The only way to truely be free
Im done with society

Heart hurts so bad, its hard to even think, I know I gotta be strong, but how, when I feel so weak No idea why u tell me that you love me, want me to stay when I see the way you look at me, fighting everyday I'm holding on to what I thought we had but the longer I stay, it only makes me feel unwanted and bad. You make me out to seem like something I'm not You said You were grateful for me, so why are u letting my heart rot? Whats fkd up about it all is the whole time, you were the one pretending, because u never truly cared, not even now that its ending. Dont know how much longer I can take this, I cant keep feelin like i dnt exist, loving someone who doesn't give a ****. Cant keep killin my soul because you wont try to understand I thought you would better me, thought u were a different man. But now I see that things arent gna change, aren't gna get better. Not convinced by your fake smiles, dont believe your letters. I just wish I hadn't let you change me so much, so disgusted and dissapointed, with who I've become. And in your eyes, Im to blame. u do no wrong, feel no shame. Hearts going completely insain with pain, mind's withering away. Because theres no sensible reason why I'm still here, its not because I need u, its not because of fear. Guess I'm hanging on to the hope that maybe its just this place. Fighting the logical me, deep down I know things are gna be the same. Not sure if I should be proud that I stuck it out, or should be feeling stupid for ignoring all my doubts. Whatever it is, I need to find some sincere kinda peace. And I realized being w u, I'm just not happy with me

My mind is broke my heart screams with tears in can't cry out. My regrets follow me pouring nothing but a dreary rain cloud  pouring Frigid rain soaking me down to the bone till I go insain.  I wish I could of told you inside I'm slowly wasting away just like a graveyard filled with rotting rusty  machines.
I wish I could of told my mom is really needed her when I had the darkest days where I felt like I was suffocating.

Every ******* ******* thing I nevery told or should of said enstead  of  holding and hiding my life mistakes.

My every wound seems to fall deeper and my heart feels so heavey with all my battles I problem killed to breath.

My regrets just keeps me from stopping I rather run.
My 25 regret it wish I was able to keep strong but I feel like I rather not necessarily there for  my famly.

Butmy biggest regret is my fear of losing my mom or dad in the night if they pass away threw there sleep I'll let be broken sending me to pack a back and leave my fear is I'm bipolar and I'm scared or losing them. My every word doesn't seem to matter only my creative thoughts do.



I am filled with wounds scares all from my every single regret that is like the darkness or the smoke from cigarettes.


I am broken to the point I'm unfixable.
So I just drag myself and long taking blow by blow making me weaker ad time goes on .
I  know you have to tell your life stories bit shut the **** up if you see or I tell you my life story  you'll problem drown your self in your own tears if you look at me you'll not bear able to but stair so don't tell Meveryone our ******* story  look at my broken mind body tell me if you can fix the years of the he'll that consumed me killing me hashing my voice where I couldn't scream or breath I was traded into ****** silent only that funny side I was torched till my lungs burned with hate

So don't tell my your Bulls **** life stories just look at me and try not to drown your self in your tears just listen and know I'm note strong enough to to be fixed

My biggest regret is I'm scared to lose my mom and dad I don't know if my last Batley ids strong enough to  hold I might just shut down and fall apart

I am broken and unfortunately unfixable

I'm not crazy
I'm insain
I am human
I'm deranged

You say I'm crazy
Then you are to
Look in the mirror
I'm just like you

We're not crazy
Not you not me
We're just human
Can't you see

So come and join me
In the sun
Because we're not crazy
We're like everyone

Where did I go wrong? I thought I knew you, but you left me with nothing but a sad love song.

I lost my one and only. Never in my life have I felt so lost and Lonely. Alone my thoughts control me.

Love is pain but acceptance and patience is gain. You only loved me in vain causing me to go insain.

We could never be again, but you'll always be my friend cause I'm a ride or die gal til the end.

At the edge of the cliff she stands
Alone in the darkness
Stars above her head
Twinkling
Shooting
Whispering
She'd like to say she can hear them
But that would make her crazy
At the edge of the cliff she stands
At the edge of the cliff she stands

She closes her eyes as she leans forward
The best part is the feeling not the view
Her stomach jumps to her throat
And she swallows
As she floats up to the moon

When she opens her eyes she's still falling
Back to the ground so she won't know
The stars above bring her comfort
But time doesn't slow like she'd hoped

It's all over too quickly
But she doesn't feel any pain
She knows when she starts to float to the sky
That she was never
insain

At the edge of the cliff she stands
Able to jump and fly
Like Peter Pan, she's in Neverland
Where she'll never have to cry

Unrelentless chatter as nothing matters
Have not your viperous sting fallen on my stricken heart
Cruelty crawling between lips of malicious distortion
Yet unconditionally insain
I continue in vain loving but this foul ego of man
The toll of betrayal laced and heavy deceit
As he batters prideful blame on me  
With a sip of despondence
I carry on till
Once again I feel the spill
Of my heart bleeding stains on a forsaken bond
With no potion to mask the turmoil
Feverishly I have the need for he
Yet I carry on with this placid distraction
Leaving my mind no rest for it shall scurry towards the darkest corner
Of thy bleeding heart

The taste of love once bitten  ambrosial  insatiable
Saffron infused whipped honey butter
The flavors of the colors plumb crazy purple
Candy apple red sugary sparkling white
Glossy ebony. Red cherry kukabura  licorice
Deep blackberry
soft glowing pink spiked with wisps of magenta ,coral and tastefully splattered
With clouds snowy white and airy.
The Mojave desert drenched
And still wet shimmering in hues of golds sparkling as seen through pouty  eyes.
The taste of passionate sweat
And and the ultimate quench
The tears of love
Oh the mere mention of which fills the well of my eye
Countless pillows saturated
From the seemingly endless nights
That should have been............
Instead i writhe alone, in a hot sauna ,glistening
Minds twistining in this insatiable plane
*** drive insain i m thinkin my brain stuck in puberty
Bristling with i wanna
And im cursed with a perfect pornographic
Memory in perpetual  purgatory
Im sick withit
I notice a whip of your hair , an extra long stare
The nap of your neck
That look of" i dont care if youre here or there
You are of no interest to me"
Whith respect i try to discretely slip away.
Im hypnotized with a bellicose glare thats saying
Dont you dare try to walk away from me.
Come to me later when im alone
You have something i need .!
My blood instantly boiling under your spell all the way home i san smell your gaze upon me.
I have no will i am your Renfield
Im in love with being sealed in your fate
And this seether you have me steeped in
Caged temporally is only temporary
I am whodini shifting Nosferatu
You thought you had me
Sorry i have you under me and you invited me in
I ve got a fever ........
etiquette and inhabitions obscured
Sleepy eyed smirk i picture you and I
In an oasis under an ****** blue sky.
You in a jean skirt
Compassed about by lush deep green
Your favorite song nothing you do could be wrong
Im outa my mind your twerkin
And i can almost see your. .........
<{****}>
kicked off the gong show for lude behavior
Thats just sillyness .
Seriously im lascivious
Enough about me all i want is everything
About you
Succulents thriving in the august month draped in a glistening canopy
Of moist oceanic breeze.
everything joyful inviting. caramels
Almonds, sticky sweet baklava......
Mangoes and sticky rice....
Thai ice tea and coffee.
Honey do dripping cloves and cinnamon........wild mountain blackenblueberry jumble pie with extra  crumble and saturday winter soup
And summer sunday fried chicken
Bliss .....concord grape claufatis Di Sorono with fresh squeezed murcotts
Whith a drizzle of chambord
Panne de homone
And the tickle of a little humming birds tounge flicking your earlobe
Felt but not heard
The flavors mixing
shake not stirred
The first drink youll savour and with a woulnded heart you will slide down to the bottom of the glass looking for more
Its such a rush that you chase it knowing its ultimately
What you live for
Wanderlust,indescribable wontedness,
Mysterious,intoxicatingly exotic
Dangerous cocktail of eclectic electricly charged concoctions
On the cusp of poisonous
depending whom you share it with
could be the breath of life
Releasing you from stress and strife........could be the kiss of death ..................
Could be a soulmate could be the best thing the world has ever seen ..........inspiring ...................creator of king a Queen ....
Nations are built and conquered by her
Mountains moved.
Its what makes life worth living.
Once smitten the world abounds
Heaven smiles
You bath water feels like milk
And smells like lilacs an hyacinth
Youre gowned in silks and satin
Everything becomes new
in vibrant pastels and unimaginable
Muse
Flavors mingle .....
Personally to me its..........
It starts with honey and black licorice sucrets
Turning to orange an whip cream then fresh crunchy cherries
Enhanced with the essence of you
Like the sugar cube on a stick
I pour my Absinthe through


And as our pallets change along with life
As they always do one thing remains constant
I follow my heart and
always winds up in you !