My hubris prevented me from seeing it
I thought I was always a step ahead
I now realise I was two steps behind
She used my innoncence, the most precious of my gifts
I now realise
The closer I look
The less I see

I  remember the day I lost my soul.
And I wish I could explain it better but how exactly do you explain your dignity being stepped on and your innoncence being ripped to shreds?
The details don't matter because they never do.
I just wanted to go back home.
I just wanted to go back twenty minutes and wait for my friend.
I just wanted to go back an eternity and never take my first breath because how can I still be alive when I feel so dead inside?
And I was just a kid, but I grew up twenty years in the space of twenty seconds.
I didn't cry because I was empty.
I didn't scream because my throat was dry.
I thought about flying and the sound my shoes wouldn't have made on the pavement had I had wings.
Then I thought about this guy who'd made wings out of wax in the legend, and how he'd gotten too close to the sun and died.
And I thought maybe I was already dead.
Because my wings were melted and I was already falling down I
Have drowned in oceans deeper than the universe and
Like a heart lost at sea I am a human lost in the billions of lives walking around me
And joking about **** and not realizing their jokes are not funny
Stripping me down to an skeleton, an object to be played with, a mass of skin and bones, a live doll who couldn't get her voice to be heard by people passing by and turning their heads the other way is not funny.
And I don't want to wish you dead
But I can't bear to see you alive
I have suffered a thousand nights
Your words on my skin like a burning fire
Boiling my blood with the anger a 16 year old should never have to feel
I have been walking the walk of shame
Eversince you spit on the floor where you lay my ruined soul and left me to die And maybe one day I won't wake up with the image of you at my throat but for now you poisonned my past so each night I bleed my ink on paper to forget the weight of your body on top of mine
and I can't trust or smile or live the way I did before and I fall asleep each night feeling your shadow breathing down my neck I
Am no longer a blooming flower but a rotten scent like the perfume you were wearing that night I
Am not dead but I don't wish to feel so I sleep and in my dreams I wash my face with your blood and wipe my tears with my courage so I can clear my eyes and watch you as I blink you away you have not won this battle
In my dreams I am the hero and I don't have bruises and marks imprinted on my body because you do not exist in my dreams
But then I wake up and take twenty shattered breaths on my shaking lips and even as I suffocate in a world that doesn't understand my pain I live each day stronger than the next and let your memory fall down the land of oblivion with the hope one day I'll turn around and you'll be gone.
I have hope.

Yes , I let it go ,
my words will flow ,
cutting time in two

into seconds from minutes
from hours , even days
turning time inside out
so it is no longer real

Take me away to reason . . .
where time is a myth ,
a fifth season , a place of non-essence

Time falters , flakes , falls ,flatters , fetters
away into oblivion . . like
everything known to man

T - all TOMORROWS , are never to be
I  - in my INNONCENCE , my IGNORANCE
M- MANIPULATION of mind
E - ENUMERATION , numbering my way to
     ETERNITY

floatin in the air of innoncence
holdin on to kisses
that surpasses these shaded lips
oh in this daydream
in my corner of despair
she stands
loud as reasons
which I cannot remand
impossible to let go
the rushed night and shy goodbye
creepin home before the mornin light
esthetic eyes that devour
these invariable melancholic smiles
of mine
amorously disposed desire for
deceivin bedshaped moves
again, to put this body on fire  
charmed in shame
this au naturel attire
suitably awaitin ur tardly arrival
nice and slow
utterin words
for ur ears alone
"take me down, kiss me below"

11

The innoncence is dying inside of me
With every exposure to evil tearing it out
No purpose in sewing these wounds
It's universally seen as normal
To lose an optimistic outlook

After this year it'll be completely vanished
I'll share the same laughter
But it will never reverberate again
Not after my innocence comes to an end

Radiant aqua skies
and butterflies
roll down hills
and high fly thrills
water splash
giggles and laughs
sand castles
no hassles

Jump puddles
teddy bear cuddles
truly curious
at times furious
bundles of wonder
treasures under
smell the flowers
sense the showers
warm and dry
ready for cherry pie

Where this time go?
Where the simpliest things used to make us happy
Where there were no quarrels, and no bleakness in our hearts
Where everything was seen under a colorful filter,
This time of innoncence, where imagination was at its highest
Would we be able to take some of it back?, we all need a little bit of colors in our hearts,
This precious time called childhood, when it was okay to make mistakes
Where someone was looking upon your shoulders for you,
Over the years the colors of this filter have faded away

Gray seems to be prevaiding it,
It’s a sad reality when you realize that your happiness depends on somebody else,
that person has the power to bring new amazing colors into your life, but can easily take them back,
It’s time that we reconcile with ourselves, and find this happiness that once filled our lives
Would we be able to do that?
As a sign the clouds are slowly moving away, and the warthm is gently comforting our bodies,
Embrace it, the best is yet to come.

He left early in the morning, with the mountain on his mind.
Peered up to the peak above and then began the climb.
The city and its people sure would not be missed
Not since he had his innoncence, such days he reminiced.
He reached the peak in hours, with knees fatigued and sore.
He looked down at towers, he could've sworn that there were more.
He took a seat on the grass, he deserves a break at last.
He never could stand it when he felt the best times had passed.
He watched the sun as it began to set, alone but at ease.
He fell asleep with no alarm set, gently kissed by the breeze.