I have to stop thinking.
I need to turn my brain off.
Im torturing myself
By thinking of the future.
Figuring out the maze,
Of you and me.
How to get to the finish line,
Together.

Im trying to prepare myself,
For hearing the words,
"We used to talk"
If they mention my name.
Instead of,
A smirk on your face,
And a little laugh,
"Yeah, shes amazing."

So im trying,
I really am,
To block out the future.
Its was working a week ago,
Because your presence
Was the only distaction i needed.
But now i am left with myself.
With my thoughts.
With images of you
With memories of us.
With high hopes for the future.
That flicker through my head,
Almost constantly.
But now they are fading.
I dont know wheather its a
Good thing?
Bad thing?
Because sooner or later
I will be confronted with one choice.
I will reach a dead end.
I could fly.
Or I could fall.
There is no middle,
Sadly.
Believe me its not what i want.
But all my odds are pointing
To a deep black abyss.
So,
Eventually,
I will have to force you out of my head.
Somehow.

I dont know if you can tell,
But i am a fighter.
This is why i am in such a panic.
"There has to be a way around this."
My subconscious really needs
to shut up.

Part of me.
wants to keep my two fists up.
And part of me.
Wants to enjoy the time we have.
It is very hard,
But i guess,
i need to let fate
Write the rest of my story.
Even though i keep trying and trying
To skip ahead,
And See what happenes next.
The pages are blank,
And my thoughts
write in alternate endings.

So,
Lets breathe in,
And out.
And hope for the best.
It will work out.
It will work out.
If for the worst-
I can just say,
He wasnt the one.
And FINALLY have closure.
But a my heart will be shattered,
And my life will turn grey
For a while.
With heavy drops of water,
Splattered all around me.

But
If for the best-
I would beat all odds,
Im sorry,
I need to give myself more credit,
I have a chance.
I fit in somewhere on the scale
- I would beat all odds
Of other minds work.
And could finally show them,
That i could be loved.
But thats just a bonus.
No one out there,
Is like you.
No one.
Thats why everyone wants
You.
But i know there more to you than that.

This is why we need to talk,
This is why i need him.
I want him to think of me,
Half as much,
As i think of him.

Just half.
I dont ask for much.
I have been patient.

So now you see my struggle.
Now you feel too
the pebble in my shoe.
I still have two weeks with him,
And one more to think.
But when the beginning
Of the four week loss.
I hope i stay strong.
I hope he dosent change.
I hope we wouldn't of changed.
But now.
He hasnt,
We havent.
I need to enjoy the sunlight on my face.
I need to make the most of it.
There is something there.
But if there is no love for me,
In his heart,
I hope it comes to a complete stop.
I hope my eyes can open,
And my heart released,
Because right now,,
And theres a tear in my eye.
That i so greatly hold back.
Because there might be another,
Or another,
That he wants
From a long time ago.
And she will have
the one thing
That we dont have.
History.

But i can't dwell on this.
Its unfair to everyone.
So like I've been trying to say
About three dozen times,
In about three dozen different ways....

Enjoy the good while it lasts.
And save your good memories,
And smiles,
For a day you might need it.

You make me smile like the sun lights up the moon. It happenes everyday without the sun knowing it half the time and mostly never trying. Doesnt mean it is less meaningful and doesnt mean i dont appreciate it ad much. Living with out you is the end of the universe. And even though your the biggest and brightest star there ever was and that when another star blinks out of existance, i will still be there. Watching and basking in your beauty. The star that lights up the eternal darkness of my space, warm embrace, one of a kind smile. You even had me make that song your my sunshine your theme song. Best thing about you is, i dont even have to say you brighten up my day cause without you there would be no light. You brighten up my life. Warm embrace of you, My Sun.

Everything in life is temporary
it all ends, but the problem is when things end somthing new begins and you just have to deal with all these beginnings and endings
Everything is temporary
Sadness, love, life, passion, friendships, homes, familys, joy day, night, sleep, awake
It all ends
And you just watch it end over and over again and you have to deal with it
Theres one thing that dosent have an end but still begins and thats death.
It begins but never ends thats why everyone craves it or fears it so dearly
I can think of a million things that never begin but always end
But deaths the one thing that begins without an end.
What brings all these beginings and endings in a cycle only stopped by death?
The three norns
The future is an end, look forward and a million things have already ended
Time brings all ends
And beings bring beginnings, beings desperately build things up hoping not to have ot smashed down by time, but it always happenes, a cycle
The past are things that are to end and the present is things that are ending
The cycle is boring
And sad
It just means your stuck
Theres only one end
That lastts forever and thats death
No happiness without sadness yet there seems to be sadness without happiness all the time
death wont leave me
death dosent forget about you
death dosent leave its forever, past a point of no return
thats beuty
in a universe full of cycles
the only true beuty is an end
Yet objects dont end
When i die my body will decay and go into another cycle
But i will be over
I will be dead
thats whats so beautiful about the anomaly of life
Things cycle forever, never to end
But beings get to end
I truly pity things without being
They cycle forever
No end for them
but the strangetys of the infinantes gave us being!!!
and thats what separate beings from everything else
We die
We get the beautiful gift of an end

Making the most of life is pointless when most ends
if i make the most of a friendship its still gonna end
Everythings temporary and thats never ending
What making the most gives you is only an end that makes you look back and wish things lasted forever?
Pure unfiltered nostalgia
Pain
Regret
Regret of letting it end
Knowing you could have done something to stop it from ending
Regret of not saying more
Not doing the things you where scared to do
but now its over and theres no way to do anything because everythings temporary
Except death
Death lasts forever
An end without an end

Wish  I sincerely, now that our days are almost numbered on this  Earth ;

Hope you will be only mine,  when take we  again, a rebirth.

When happenes this, filled I will be with ecstasy, sheer joy and mirth.

Treasure I, those instances few,  happened which during this life span.

That whole night, at the hospital, my desperation to get a glimpse of you  my man !

My yearning to see you, n a totally unexpected visit on  Sun when accidentally into me you ran!

Yet again, your whispering,  that live I,  within your ribs, forget how can I ever?

That dream, so very vivid, so realistic was; I couldn't my thoughts n emotions sever .

For us to love each  other eternally in future reincarnations,  will be my endeavour.

AF Dastur