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Connor Reid Apr 2014
A duality of elan vital, two people
Spectres of emotion
Intertwined by a fuselage of bruised skin & tendon
Tissues become orbital, gushing towards grafts
Helixes of snot, **** and lymph
Boy & girl
As they embrace the animating principle and eachother, they fuse
A one piece tapestry adorned seamless with no hem, beginning or end
Always was, always is
Patiently turning to liquid as their being unzips
Lying figures of runny makeup and genetic *****
Quintessence, a texture of synaptic potential
Corpus Callosum
An entirety of self, lost in imbued disintegration
Theory of mind, looped & bound
I will water the thought
Roots envisaged in dystopian amygdala
Piercing data packets with a frost-like intensity
Forgetting our obsolescence moments ago
A neuron dipped in nylon
Theta waves and the non-euclidean crux of dissociation
Ghosts in the machine, your macro god
The sympathies of fractional distillation
Digitised/assimilated unto the nanosphere
Cold hands and brass backs galvanised in oscillated tears
Commodified, sold out and bought
Stretching, from purple, white and black
slowly losing its colour, amorphous in shape
brushed across a smudge, ambiguously chromatic
Monetised flesh god
An eternity bathed in starlight
Cutting an incision in the sky to allow entropy
Divided dimensions of energy
Fleeting and intangible
No longer a delirium of seperation
All semantics become light
As a rusted vehicle passes overhead
And all the worlds questions fade out of existence
Flutters of red tape and foregone growth of practice
Sinew flayed, integrated towards information
Our minds shared
In circuits and resistors
Photons and electrons
We radiate
Sprayed and galvanised
Ideas and thoughts, powered
The words fructify
Inspired by a chat with my cousin( sparkle in wisdom)

https://hellopoetry.com/Neha_S/
Mateuš Conrad May 2021
a minor amnesia - nonetheless it happens,
there's another word for it...
skleroza: spontaneous forgetfulness...
this fickle creature that's memory...
thankfully i have a stash of about 5 major memories
that i like to revisit...
play them over and over in my head...
since... i'm not on the crux of death...
well... since i'm not...
i have become more prone to exercise
the freedom of memory than i might want
to watch a movie...
trouble comes when i'm not my own d.j.,
in a car... heading toward... ******* IKEA...
in Enfield... where the phlegmatic crew of
dodo are this close | | to learning the arithmetic
of time...
a song on the radio... Belinda Carlisle...
circle in the sand...
in between talking with my father...
                  nothing metaphorical about that...
- so you know how old bob marley was
when he died? 36...
- you think he would still be touring?
well... he wouldn't need the money...
**** jagger does it for the joy...
          
i can't write narratives...
it's not like we're estranged...
but... it's complicated...
i think this is one area of my life i will keep
off-limits when writing...
i can be as honest about ******
as i can be about horses...
the narrative never took place...
believe me...
we talked about a range of things...
morgage

then when we came home an hour
later than expected...
she (dearest mother)
was probably drinking alone...
throwing little tantrums of me and father
alone time...
well... not to mention he was absent
from the most crucial years of my life...
from 4 till 8...
how does the ugly side of immigration
look like? brain-drain...
we: the diaspora members...
away from the motherland...
for the "better life"...
i too am playing catch-up...
how did ol' Leo frame it?
every happy family is the same...
but every sad family is sad uniquely:
in it's own unique way...

   get Wittgenstein to sort this
tautology... i'm not going to bother...
come to think of it... it's not even
a tautology... a tautology would be more
focused on thesaurus rex...

we had a conversation about football
and music... re-mortgaging...
even Bowie remained true to music...
he probably didn't tour...
but still made new content...
singing about mortality and ****...
i think i'm having this playback moment
in my head...

but then this song came on the radio...
magic fm... belinda carlisle...
circle in the sand...
all of a sudden i had this urge to listen
to a song, that song reminded me off...
oh hell... exactly: what was it?
the search began with: 'the message'...
mc-****-fartery...
      round and round...
jokes aside... i had to listen to belinda's
song on earphones once more
before the "revelation"...

  it seems obvious... "now"...

nik ******* kershaw - the riddle...

exactly... how did i get "the message" wrong?
two strong arms... blessings of Babylon...
blah blah: toe-tying-riddle...
almost like good luck is expected...

come to "think" of it...
a revelation... even though there's that monotheistic
focus on the patriarch...
puppet... strings...
missing *******...
i'm having a hard time not thinking
that ha-shem... the nameless father of hey-zeus
and the ha-ha-mighty blah-lah-al
are not... primarily... feminine gods...
well... conjured up from a ****
rather than a working 'ed...

they're irrational... and can be reduced down
to... the three heads of Cerberus...
they are never really depicted...
worded sleuth pulp fiction harlequin traps...
most artists?
oh **** me... even the ****'ites would agree...
get your eyes to focus on something...
that's how much i dare to admire Islam...
from the ****'ite perspective...

what ******* topic is this?
i was about to pour myself another drink
and this thought like a blitzkrieg came
flushed from a ******* in the universe
where all the gods and nothings
congregate from indigestion and
constipation...
a ******* miracle: a diarrhoea moment...
of sorts...
the monotheistic veneer... of "patriarchy"...

what?! she wants a ring of gold
and my ******* too?
how about a tent's worth of a kippah
on my ******* tonsure?
a man would require a screwdriver...
a hammer... nails... screws...
it would make sense to have many
involved... than this pressure of solipsism...
vampire... succubus... leech...
a ****** hail mary...

**** speak...
                    so great... the technological advances...
atheistic secularism...
but there's a ******* grid-lock to mind too...
no a ****** dam...
a rich cognitive custard...
it's just that: a cognitive custard...
like Moses rekindling a belonging concept
along the lines of being lied to:

monotheism hardly serves man...
i can find appeals to the illusion it presents...
but... hardly...
looks like the "plenty of fish in the sea"
metaphor is drying up the concept
of a "catch"...

the conversation with my father are
off-limits in my purpose of writing in the first
place... unlike a Knausgaard...
i'm the drinker... he's the teetotaller...
he's the workhorse i'm the... chicken-scratcher:
if i had ink...
but i'm also probably ten beaks pecking
resounding at this... grand... oh my god...
******* piano of QWERTY...

genius idea... what?
qwerty... because the orthodox memory erosion
of the alphabet is of any use?
suddenly everything has to **** me off...
it has to be dipped in still water...
it has to be believable...
monotheism is concretely a religion
designated for the preservation of women...
why my *******?
oh... because if you don't have it...
i can... ******* at a leisurely pace?

that a woman can ******* without inhibitions...
while i have to be shamed?
*******, *******...
i don't even have enough slander to express
what my heart reacts to these days...
i don't have "hurt" feels...
i have... agitated feelings...
thank you for waking me up from my numb...
apathy...
but what do i hear? "hurt feels"...
****'s sake... those people don't even recognise
what feeling is supposed to feel like!
they're all french footballers... "hurt" all of a sudden...
wow! so...
"hurt" is translated into the parameters of:
feeling per se?
imagine my shock finding out that
apathy has dulled "i.q." to so little that...
you must be hurt to feel...
you can't be spontaneously agitated...
you must be hurt...

bring out the hot horseshoes...
let's have some fun branding these *******-waggling-
***** aside...

just wait for the breeders to wake up
to having children that turn into freely-arranged
agents of will...
i'm passing through a decade where there's
boasting...
but sooner rather than later...
there will be some hidden mention
of those... pickled-cabbage:
why do the 'indus find pickled cabbage
"funny"?
not eating beef sounds pretty funny...
or like that "proverb" from Morocco:
there's no water, in the desert...
then... what... the... ****... are... you...
"doing" in this, here... land of replenished
roots?!

******* camel jockeys...
what do "they" call them, proper?
sand-*******...
it would take a Bengladesi to get
smart notes on the caste "system"....
Aryan has no origin in Europe...
it probably originated in Indian when
they first came across Persians...
who are... oddly... "pale"...
but have not bartablondine aspects
of their ****** expressions...

ivory skinned like an Iranian or a ***-
without a suntan?
"you" wanted trenches...
here's my designated plot...
"you" wanted ******* to overshadow
real.. culprit-esque concerns...
the jealousy of a woman
knows not bounds...
most especially when a father-son
privacy is engaged with...

   if i ever encountered male jealousy...
it was always rare...
almost never...
         but female jealousy? anything...
everything to belittle the opposing "authority"...
ha-shem... the jealous deity of women...
blah-lah-al of...kept secrets stashed in the niqab...
allure of the ******* eyes...
come on...

****** ******* mary:
that matriarch of sold foetuses and
walking abortions...
at least there was something adventerous
in conceiving the existence of Loki...
of Thor...
there's nothing... original about the point
of monotheistic gods...
that there are three...
is Islam the truest of religions?!
they had a Sunni ****'ite schism... didn't they?
once again:
i want to believe in something:
to give me momentum...
give be a willing acceptance to excuse...
an overarching stressor of incredulity...
and a... "what life"?

well... existence is...
out of every instance: a persistence to:
instance... a persistence...
that's... existence... ex-
out of...
and stance...
dis-ease... a negation of ease...

there will be plenty more of those car
journey listening to magic fm...

an "original": whether mind, or thinker...
that mythology of evil that the Nazis provided...
******* Armani suits and boots...
or whoever designed them... Hugo Boss...
what are we left with,
to mind matters of collectivism?
the evil of censorship instigated by...
halfwits and ******* haemophiliacs?

a myth of evil that could be...
galvanised... momentum and emblem...
what's on offer... currently?
grey-suits and...
expectations: that it's the "21st century"
something magical is about to happen...
what's the difference between the 20th century
and the 18th century?
the 19th century...
so what's the difference between
a pebble, a cliff edge and a mountain?
don't know... a river? a lake?

that same **** different cover excuse
like some wonderful was going to happen
in the 21st century...
like there was a promise...
where is this **** coming from?!
oh yeah... but it's the 21st century...
i was hoping for gravity to ******* and turn all:
short-circuit awry...

i can pretend... for a while...
but after that while passes... i turn into a real mystery
of a door **** gone berserker...
are there these societal expectations
to simply **** **** the next...
blow the next... ******* origami of OXFAM
purple-fest whimpering "dead-doughnut":
although i'd cry... if it was a stray dog
from the streets of Seville...
******* camel-jockeys...

  it's not even a inhibited play on pronouns:
there's no: "they"...
i thought the trans-lobbyist covered the plug-hole
of cognitive-****...
there is not "us" or "them":
gender neutral is me...
armed with a strap-on ***** on my ******* forehead...
a bit like... that hebrew practice of...

so i had me a "friend: a fwend...
maybe that's cornish for something in velsh...
you know how word salad sounds?
on a persistence?
sure... a son of divorce...
what am i? his ******* uncle?
his mother undermined the concept
of al dente spaghetti...
we're talking fractions of people...

people eat ****... leave the universal utility
of pork aside...
mind you: not water in the desert...
and not piggy too...
the leather shoe... the belt...
it's not exactly kosher... is it?
i have this backlog of a peoples...
at least a priest only attracts confessions...
i'm not at knife point
easy... for this triad to work?

if my fwend mentioned cognitive custard...
but the concensus of word salad
is socially broke on the norm...
so blah blah boo'yah assortment...
enriched strawberries...
juicing much later...
i can understand cognitive custard... pie...
but a word salad?
that's.... what doesn't deviate from
solipsism... this solo "project"
of "you and i"...

                       psychiatry is persisting to be
deemed a branch of
the Hippocratic oath....
but it's not...it's pseudo-"medicinal"...
it's hyped-up... idon't remember
that junction in a life...
hardly worth lived... just lived...
of my 20s... what mea culpa stressor of
those psychopaths?
currents under the broken wheel of...
attempts at supressing..
momentum? this whole ******* "flake"
of barrage?

by word salad you're implying i
have, speak... low i.q....
    non-hieroglyphic suede...
non-answerable... past replica...
woe wow salad...
but how i understand it...
a cognitive custard...
well... thinking is messy:
you ******* dim-wits!
        ought-i: thought...
i don't like being ridiculed...
or expected to her a less i.q. than what's...
nuanced at a ****** favouritism... Balkan-esque...
seriously... *******: before i ****** someone...
ugh attached to that: wind... now there's a purpose...

yeah... so what's what?
this is the least of my "concern"?
well... as they say in the west...
as long as the brain-drain happens...
we can forget about keeping the native 9 to 5ams...
sort of... but hardly... justifiably...
less than expectedly...
capitalistically boast: not exhausted...
sort of...

i can understand cognitive custard...
meddle some more...
word salad?
your ******* ****- nig-
of sorts is speaking your language better than me?
******* sour crass of a native's ***!
*******...  and you deserve it.
Rettrahk Dec 2013
Amongst the dying, amongst the rage,
within the thousand souls and a thousand more,
twisting in their own remorse,
I found so heavenly a voice, so powerfully calm,
not once, not twice, but again, again and again did I fall.
I fell for that voice, that voice, who?

Was it a lone soldier, finding solace in the aftermath?
Was it a villain, freed from the confines of a life long lost at the hands of rage, insanity?
Was it the common man who stayed untouched, or was it one who found dreams beyond wonder?
Was it a mother's lullaby, a sister's requiem, a daughter's salute?

Lying in blood, in smoke and scream, it swept up each fleck of horror,
carrying, in gentle hands, perhaps, every sin and every lie, obligation and grief,
to the pinnacle of truth seen just beyond the clouds;
lying there, I'd never felt smaller.
There it was, the mountain of judgement, a soldier for truth,
and the voice delivered to it every excruciating injustice and the tears of the evil, of the good and the poor.
That voice, that voice! Sing again, sing forever more,
the anthem of salvation that echoed through the burning woods.
And so I ask,

why do you sing? Who is it that hears you?
You sing for your lover, your mentor, your child?
Do you sing for every warrior lost to time's manipulation?
Do you sing for every survivor, galvanised, everlasting, immortal?
Do you sing for the gods and their reckless plans?
Or perhaps, for yourself? O Voice, god, merciful god,
the melody you shower upon these bloodied lands,
knows not how undeserving we are to hear its splendour.

I asked who you were, but now, I only ask,
that you walk past our corpses and say not a word.
But merely sing, sing as you have,
and never be weak to slip in our blood.
But to find your way out of this horror, this world of the doomed,
and find a dream long forgotten:

The dream of a soldier's unconditional smile,
the dream of a mother's undying pride;
The dream of two lovers, and their unison unhindered,
The dream of every villain to turn back the waves of time.
The dream of every fighter, for justice or survival, to find peace among the peaceful,
The dream of every sister who marched by the bodies, longing for his blissful return from our land.
The dream of every daughter who arose amongst the fallen, to live free and not fight;
And the dream of the common man, to soar victorious, to see sights unknown, to suffer and rise, to end and begin.

And as you walk, I see, you are not far.
Or perhaps, what I see,
Perhaps it's a dream.
O Voice, god, merciful god,
Sing.
Miceal Kearney Sep 2010
i

It took three of us to pull her out
onto steel-float-finished concrete —
where her mother; BNNZ-0031U
fell from GXA339605 —
a little black Limousin heifer
later to be Christened
IE18576-0426.
Shortened to Patch.

Like my nephew Jamie
he’ll never know dial-up.
Imagine … I lived 27 years B.FB.
(Before Facebook.)


ii

If a cow calves down successfully —
that’s no guarantee you’ll end up with a cheque —
they’re moved to the postnatal paddock.
Almost the furthest field back,
gives junior a peak at the future fields
they’ll someday graze.
Provided they live long enough.

One year, the tour had entered the 3rd Hill Field
which has 8 gates, the cow knew which one.
I was only here to open and close the gates.
So she checked her mirrors
then indicated left. Migratory.
Junior, on-the-other-hand
didn’t quite know what to do
so floored it; head-on
into un-suspecting gate.

It was like in the cartoons,
something would fall on someone’s head,
they’d walk away like an accordion.

I nearly died laughing
5000 times funnier than castrating lambs
I swear to God.


iii

They came into my world and leave
from the shed

I like to think that there word for the shed,
when translated would mean pain —
between being de-horned; castrated;
belted with sticks; stobbed with needles
and yucky medicine rammed down their throats.  
Then weaned: no more mommy from now on.

Let back out, having weathered their 1st winter.
Yearlings; grazing different field.
Their 2nd summer at grass — according to the book —
is where they’ll experience Compensatory Growth.
When the gate up to the Rock is closed,
that’s the end of the road for them.
We finish the cattle here.
Well used to gates by then.

That’s all it is really; a series of galvanised gates
opening and closing in conjunction
with a selected grazing rotation.
One cycle around 62.4 hectares.


iv

There’s only one reason
cows are moved in with the cattle —
well, yea there’s the other reason too,
but primarily —
to keep Romeo away from Juliet.

At this age, there elders are generally knackered,
probably mastitis in more than one ***.

In the Beef Book in college,
cull cows are referred to as ‘canners’
as that’s where most of them end up —
in tins of dog food.


v

It was 17 years ago, Patch ran into that gate.
I’ve seen her go from bullied springer to bully.
She’s taking a trip with the cattle today.

I wonder did she know
that IE18576-0851 was hers
from last year. I like to think so.
And everyone of her offspring,
all lived to be killed.
Only space for that in my notebook.

Mart starts at 10, it’s 8.30am
waiting for Lynsky.
All my years loading cattle,
it’s never once been raining.

And calves in fields over
contently ****.
Looking for comments and feedback please.
Springer: a cows first calf.
i hear the collective understanding

of dry sticks as they crack

the shock of alarm signals

like the migratory diaspora

of birds flying south

vibrates across tingling nerves

causing a necklace of choking

to grip at the throat

shivering I try to find a grave

I am watched from the summit of a hill

as a conflagration spreads

flames quiver

orange, yellow, purple, blue

there is an irregularity of thought

within me

my bones will soon

be pitched into debris

a petrified shiver

they still watch from

the summit of the hill

i collapse, gripped with a fear

of a permanent consignment

like that of dropping into a hollow

my face becomes plum stained

the income of breath becomes

a tenacious gasp

smoke swirls around me

blinding my red eyes

I become a misshapen

component of myself

standing like an effigy

hands raised in supplication

hysterically I try to

rid myself of this tyranny

find no distinguishable form

no solidified inquisitive intent

I rush and lash out

with a galvanised

inner adrenalin raised frenzy

a red sun appears

on the summit of the hill

ferocious in its heat

it lacks all euphony

and disintegrates with

debarring light

now speechless and cold

i fear the wind will find me

i move, burrow back

into a darkness

fire strokes across a green canvas

i am fault and disappear

without trace
Eunice Amor Oh Oct 2014
i don't want to fall in love
because i'd rather say that
-
love digs its hands deep into the dirt to plant its roots,
to give false hope to the weaklings of mankind that requite is truly attainable
that love lies in the tears of our galvanised hearts, attacking the cracks of our fissured craniums
reminding us of our (now) inexorable incarceration
that love creates waveforms between fragile persons, in its attempt to orchestrate some sort of perfect dissonance
that love declares 'i am in control' (and makes us believe so)
to toy with the pieces left of our already tortured souls.
and that love only breaks us whole,
when our holes were what broke us first
-
than say love was "made" for me and you
;
because to fall in love would mean
falling
(onto your chest to remind me of what we had)
which would be a deathtrap on its own
one i would shamefully not regret
nivek Jul 2014
flesh meets metal fired with deadly intent
children splash in the shallows of an ocean
a woman kneels hugging the gravestone of a loved one
kites are flown high in skies shared with tank shells
the sun shines brightly obscured by the smoke of explosions
there is no normality only the normality of premature death
this is the warring of Man hatred galvanised set loose
all respect all understanding all mercy forgot this is Gaza
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2016
dear ms. or ~mr.,

     i am writing for the idea of a forethought,
or however plausible is the allocation
    of prenuptial candescence...
             of what is deemed hushed
should a freak accident de-affirming the lives
of a british cohort of would-be Oasis stardoms
be mentioned via viola beach...
  that's that vague introduction i think all 21st
literature should engage with...
             i have recently published a book of
that has all the certificates necessary to be found
agreeable for the palette of seriousness...
in that a professional minded to give it a due review,
which i congratulate myself on as having
less that 1K number of views, but at least one
serious comment... signature provided.
                if people such as me had the incompetence
of a Herr Mannelig, i'd too be gathering my rosebuds
as i may to the tune of a chanted: carpe diem...
            i conceive that my "letter" is a tad-bit unorthodox,
and suggesting we might convene over coffee and
biscuits... but such is my lot...
               the Baltic affair answers with a diet of
sushi herring... piquant in their acidity,
   and far removed from moss-green horseradish of
wasabi...
                    given i've been writing on the British isles,
i find my "audience" an adieu commemorating these
isles... for i am continentally bound for say at least a hello...
     you see, i have recently published a book of
poetry with my own expense, in the literary world
i guess that might either mean the suggested norm,
  or a vanity that might overcome king Solomon too...
but you will find me in a stratification of bewilderment
i the way i'll formulate the following question:
would you consider publishing more of my work,
or indeed invest in forwarding the already printed artifacts
to a more "respectable" care for an audience affection
given the modern concern for numbering as many
as pope Urban 2nd might have done when giving a sermon
on crusading?
                        once more: i apologise for my informal
gravitas: i could only think of writing a letter
as if i might chance a truancy toward a respectable life
and not a chance meeting in a cafe without anyone
purposively voiding the pride of Diogenes of Sinope...
or he who flung himself into smouldering Etna...
               i suppose i am writing as a case for curiosity...
    i do understand you publication might have
received an epitaph and must have ended its coercion
for an equivalent of a public office,
        but with due respect, i am sending you a copy
of my bookmarked works... merely a p.s. to what actually
exists in digitally invigorating chasm of effort...
        as a simple gratitude and consolation of having
been able to see the 20th century revised with pressed-down
timber and ink, to what is the ultra-conscious
and the hungering-for-haste bypass....
             of course if the appropriate formality is required
i can present it... but unlike a curriculum vitae
my biopic is an informality auto-suggestive of my art,
and if formality is necessary, i will elevate this type
of peacocking in to a formal: yes sir, no madam,
my address is as follows...
                   if there need be a prelude to a summary
whereby i write a yours and state what formality
there's still to be had, whether yours honourably,
or with kindest regards, or with a yours
that counteracts the dear as might a Scouser address
a femme with pet, let alone a differentiation
of ms. and mrs. acronyms...
        it is beyond my consolidation into what is
nonetheless, a medium of acquisition.
                     as is the already understood:
sprechen schön luciferian? oder güt Polnisch?
yoyo or carcass of parabola... eins: umlaut
über ist omega zu...
        i digress, and without due consequence...
    or to provide the sigma:
        i am wondering if this might interest you,
should a rekindling of an avidness to publish be bound to
such tongued leveraging a blank space...
           i can understand that such writing can only
sprout or be agreeable within a niche market...
                  but as a mere suggestion
and as a lack of a gamble i am wondering whether you'd
consider the possibility to further my endeavour...
   and unlike a beggar, i am not imploring
                a chance to further it regardless of
success at it being furthered... for i am blindfolded
and galvanised by the concept expressed by Zatoichi;
i cannot add any more persuasions that might make
my arguments any more convincing than they already
are, most convincing as best: to be discarded.
            but with due concern for the state of things,
i send you a copy of my published work to express
what's but a snippet of the magnum opus...
          if but to revel in the snapshot of what could be
a career move worthy of an autobiography...
             given my complete ineptitude in the publishing
economy, and self-publicising ergonomics...
    but as ever: for want of experience, there's an equal
want for ineptitude.

                                  of what can be kindly regarded,
                        upon a maiden voyage of exchanges
                 to the letter and the date, as a worthy introduction
                          with the sole hope of a dialogue;
    and so with due sincerity i leave my name
                       to be a testimony toward future testaments
         of awaiting an equilibrium of assets;
                                            Matthew Conrad.
he explained galvanised metal,
made a bardic chair.

the eisteddfod is in llanelli
this year, while many go,
we cannot.

we have such unimportant work
here, that needs not be done.

we carry on,
with regard and fortitude.

the weather warning is cancelled.

6.12 am.

sbm.
Miguel Diaz May 2016
What is the air breathed in by the millionaire?
The same as inhaled by the slum-dweller?
The monopoly on air is great!
Or imagined?

A false dichotomy, a false pretense,
a logical fallacy, a paradox and contradiction. Linguistic sounds murmured and mumbled by orators and curators.

The breath of life is the worlds most beautiful gift, but also a mundane commodity,
It is in a perpetual state of being unwrapped and re-wrapped,
Transported by logisticians,
Prepared by makers,
Packaged by designers,
Consumed by the user,
Expelled by the waster,
Salvaged by the recycler,
Reminder of our life,
Reminding us of our mortality
Which we so frequently forget.

Breath is without choice,
We are unforced,
We flow the atoms inside us
Which our lungs are built to contain,
But particles need to be expelled.
As all good things must come to an end,
So must the ego we wish to contain.

Nature's masculinity is all too powerful, dominating the global hemisphere. His spheres of influence are enermous and his allies volatile.
Fire, metal, lightning, magma, stone, thunder.

An awesome feat,
We have learnt to harness electricity,
The ecstatic delight,
The shock of wonder,
We are galvanised into apathy,
Wired on our technology,
Device on finger,
We have yet to integrate the complex organic with the intricate artifical.

The technology of air is a great invention, invented by an invisible nothingness, an empty void of silence, a chasm of infitissimal unmeasurableness.
We have yet to harness this ancient element.

As we race about and fulfill our desires,
Humans, thought to be different,
No, we are a microcosm of repetition, a chain reaction, a catalyst of a parralel universe.

We have created our own branch of nature,
We are a branch hanging off the trunk
Our own pecking order,
We are not elemental isolates from the land which we once grew on.
Diamonds are made from carbon.
Flesh from cell.
Cell from atom.
Interconnected, neural and galactic.
The microscopic projections playing through our planetary minds:
Sharp as the claws of beasts.

The tiger rattles its chains,
Exuding its own glory,
Its notoriety known amongst
The lesser kingdom dwellers.
Is it moral to cease the latters' lives early on, severed by the hand of sentient and intelligent conciousness?

The grand old question proposed by philosophers.
To **** or to be killed?
To live or to die.
War or peace?
Answers and binaries, we rush in attempt to answer both,
The sedate and the anxious professors will philosophise,
Knowledge will reach the masses,
Ignorance remains.

Time will pass and death will come to all of us,
Mortality an unstoppable force,
an unstoppable ticking,
A machine in the clockwork of nature,
A cog that has been inhabited by life,
An abstraction colonised by thinkers and doers,
All on the same trajectory of the unknown.
Powerless and hopeless civillians, grasping and clinging desperately on an immense rocketship,
Fighting for survival.
Are we preparing for a greater good or a we headed into the dark oblivion?

The corporations too - perceived as more powerful -
Know they have land and
Ownership of property,
Exerting their will
In an extravagant and
Flamboyant fashion.
A luxurious and pompous display,
A model for citizens to admire

Sooner than we know,
The invisible does become visible,
The curtains are opened.
Even denyers become believers.
The windows of facades,
To be scratched. Will be clawed.

We lament and count our losses,
But the trees remain grounded,
Roots are always shifted,
Loggers cut down beasts of beauty,
All too common, there are all too many treefellings.
Her presence is sparse and dense.

We raise, we grow and then we prepare and consume.

Is it so strange we do this to eachother when we do this to nature?

In a internation that worships success and scolds failure, how can the failure be allowed to live?
He is at the mercy of the lucky,
he is at mercy to dissaproval,
he is at mercy to mockery.

The air she does not distinguish between worthy and unworthy, she gives lovingly to children of the earth.
Is it not time love ourselves to love eachother and love her back?

Is it much more powerful to imagine utopia than to disdain dystopia?
We are a dusty age that Mother blows away with her strength of love.

We forget her might,
Her fury, her will.
She: more powerful than all of us.
The earth can crack,
The skies will burn,
The seas will flood.

Our might is remembered by historians,
Our strength is revealed through leaders,
Our vulnerability is exposed.
Our secrets are brought to light.

We are as evil the land.
Life lived in the grey.
what about this list,

to do it before you die,

well as she said, you probably

can’t do it after. some may disagree -

another belief. we try not to judge,

yet that  bucket was not worth

five pound, so i offered two.

old,  too enamoured to be

used for rhubarb.

i shall search for another.

there is an old galvanised bath

in the garden.

sbm.
Starlight Mar 2022
lyrics from half-cherished poems
a pet who owns you half the time
a half-boy half-thing who ignores his omens
a life, a lie, a reach, a rhyme.
Just scribbling in the bible book
taking a gander
having a look at
what Jesus said,
but
there's a lot of other things going on with
Mathew,
Mark and especially Jonah who's
slightly older.

The unexpurgated edition tells
the real tale,

It's a bit Medusa to say the least.

But this is not about religion,
that's not my pigeon as the hawk would say,
that's if hawks could talk.

it's more of a stroll through the undergrowth
where the lichen grows or
dipping my feet in the water and wiggling
my toes,

Realisation.


nothing is real
people craft miracles from icicles
and how hot is that?

we talk in rivers of riddles
we walk on flesh made of stone

call it a poem
call it galvanised steel
but
nothing is real.

Infinity stretches out like a worm
and
how do you compete with it
or last as long as it.

Repro'

the double and triple,
quadruplicated replicas
in camera
locked in a screen,
the ripple that runs through
your dream
where nothing is real but you
know it's not true,

are you the potency of
the reprobate?

Summer and the winds are fair
to the seafaring man
who used to be there
but who
now lives in the mission.

All things end in the end which is
as unreal as it gets.
Michael Turnbull May 2015
A galaxy of bugs encircle a bulb,
Rallying and returning all hypnotised,
Some relish that electric heat,
Others lounge in that buzzing beat;
Most get too close and are galvanised.

When that familiar light floods in,
All these insect clubbers take in their night's din,
Just to do the same in the daytime.
The Flipped Word Mar 2017
She called last night
After months of radio silence

The first ring
Why? why was she calling?
Did she need anything?
that's why she'd usually called earlier
Did she even deserve my help?
She was the one who stopped
Stopped talking stopped calling stopped sharing
Nothing. just nothing.
like I was nothing
like we'd been nothing

The second ring
Why the hell was she calling?
how dare she?
I should just pick up and scream my head off
hurt her with my voice as much as she hurt me with her silence
or I just shouldn't pick up at all

the third ring
What's the whole point?
She'll listen to my rant with manufactured concern
and when I have bled everything out
when my bones have been robbed of the anger that galvanised them
she'll crumble these bones to dust
with a 'sorry'
and it will start all over again

the fourth ring
Maybe it could start again
once she apologises, we can talk
I won't be emotional, I promise
I will be cool, more detached
it's just fun to talk to her
I just won't have any expectations

the fifth ring
It could work this time..
I mean, this plan didn't work the last time she came back
Or the time before that when she returned
Ugh maybe I should just let it ring.

the sixth ring
You know what I'll pick it up
I can do this
I'll just find what she wants
It'll be okay

*My hands reach out, trembling
About to click on that green button
And the phone stops ringing.
Noorie Feb 2015
It was always the in between.
Never soaring high up in the sky
Never drilling deep into the crux

Floating mid air, blinded by mist.

It was always the in complete.
Never absolute happiness so immense
Never devastating sadness so crippling

Thriving in illusion, numbed by nerves.  

It was always the in secure.
Never swimming in the seas of positivity
Never drowning in the floods of negativity

Steadied yet confused, by the vacuum of neutrality.

It was always the in sufficient.
Never enough, no, push harder
Never the best, no, mould neater

Polish your flaws, sharpen your knife.

It was always the in definite.
Never the striking scarlet, bold and bright
Never the subtle silver, sparkling and humble

Galvanised grey, constant yet vulnerable.

It  was always the in finite.
Never held back by painted walls
Never dictated by judgments nor beliefs

Breathing to explore, the potential of the seamless.
Ryan O'Leary Jun 2018
I can remember my grandmother
     taking eggs from under a hen
    and on the way back, squirting
        milk from the udder cow.
      Srish srash, srish srash into
           a galvanised bucket.

    Out on the sill, souring lactose
       looked like a white brain in
     preserving fluid and together
    with the chickens yolk, took on
     the same colour, as the house
               of yellowed ochre.

      The mixing bowl resembled a
      world war one soldiers helmet,
     with near escapes of hen pecked
        enamel and skirmishes with
                 under fed dogs.

       Hands hauled sifted flour in
         memorised cup-holds,
           salt, a pinch in haste,
               a curse removed,
             a shoulder blessed.

         Fire, of turf, which smoke
       the walls and time caressed.
       Soda rising, raisins bursting,
    window cooling, dough to crust.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2016
what's questioned is whether  i'm prone to eat
a McDonald's  or identify myself as a Slav...
that's what's questioned... would i eat a status quo?
it's a hard question... would i rather integrate
            or leave a poor babushka
riddling what could have been
had October come in alter guise in 1917?
              the quo vadis
question is only a roundabout...
a clarifying circus-fair...
                     summated:
we long to live locally... embedded
  into a crucifixion as one might be
    into a circumcision.
                   and beyond such an affirmation?
negligence and a harrowing...
words spoken over lakes:
the instilled nations,
words spoken over seas:
   the instilling of the experiment of
globalisation galvanised...
     words spoken over rivers...
       as standardised narrative woken...
and later cue: unmoved.
       we're all here, with quivers for
a worthwhile of demands...
and still the belief in pacifying troops
of when the word becomes an actual
punching clench for the knuckled signature...
only then i see my coerced duplicate
arranging a feast for fattening politicos en masse.
           ferris and cartwheel summary,
for every eager ****** wetting clot
    of the feminine oyster slurring due to
excess saliva outpouring...
       funny how she earns enough Fahrenheit
when slobbering the oyster trail to a warm-up
and cools her oral into refrigerator standard
while suckling as if at a teet...
                     the mouth cools down,
the fleshy marrow pouch heats up...
        you start to think: Copernicus is next
to explain this conundrum...
              by god i sometimes wish i had the chance
to don mascara... for the fun of it
to make my iris whether blue or green
   hypnotically caged in that socket of
blink blink... blink blink...
        brown and mascara looks just as good
as a a van morrison song might...
well... aren't we all hopeful that it's just another
case of negging?
n'ah... just a duchamp pisoar... worth's
legitimacy of noun in the medium of art...
    my vocabulary can't be as ****** ugly as
what people do to people these days...
i count mine as softcore, Attenborough ****:
worth a narrative with an objectivity myocle;
'cos the other eye still has to squint to look
pretty and infused with the activity
that has a myriad count of termites for
a mother, with that invisible ***** attache
toward: birth as continuum of constipation:
blind drunk Mona Lisa slipped one out
with Antoinnette while the guillotine smirked
and snarled a: chop... chop chop!
it almost sounded like clapping, not so long ago.
    all that was said and was nonetheless missing
was a queue in which everyone sang
      baritone bard sang in duo
                 with a castrated evangelist a cumba
           lonesome texan: don mclean's starry starry night
,
by now van gogh (gau not goth) would have
cared, and mattered, simultaneously....
   sha la la la la la la la la la la t'da....
      (approximate count)...
               oops'e said lazy Daisy...
                                 and the day was just that...
lazing with Daisy on a mercurial Sunday
    that prescribed the message of the omni-encompassing
yawn.
Chris Slade Mar 2020
Elsan! I know… it sounds like a sun-kissed Spanish Beach doesn’t it?. El San!
What it is, is a make of chemical toilet. In the old days, we called it The Can!
In the yard behind a Yorkshire farmhouse… your fate & your poo - was sealed!
Grandma Ellen’s WC was the best advert for crapping alfresco out in the nearest field.

But, in a corrugated shed… a plank seat on a galvanised bin with a cranking handle.
Always best visited in daytime ‘cos after dark you’d need to take a candle.
And, when you’d achieved your goal in there… and it was past your time,
you cranked it and your extrusion disappeared in the primordial slime.

It was not a reader’s loo… No time for catching up wit’ Daily Mail.
although the paper was held neatly to the shed’s timber frame with a trusty, rusty 6inch nail.
It was cut into handy squares.  And almost without fail, you’d start to read still sitting there
and, when you got into the words, readable in the gloom, they were cut off just above the tear!

No, you’d just want to get out quick… The Jeyes Fluid scent would tend to make you gag,
It didn’t even allow my cousin Alan time for a crafty ***.  And monthly, according to occupancy,
Uncle Charlie did the job he’d said he’d never fancy, that of struggling toward the field
to empty the contents. Ironic really that after Uncle Charlie and Auntie Nellie died
the next owners plumbed their new one - up to the new fangled mains inside!
accept things. easy? no, i wrote of this yesterday.



looks better in visual than stuck in mind. html.



go with the flow.                       we had thought

it was an eel fighting yet it     was some string

in the current.



he said he had used the wrong nails,

had hoped for galvanised.



it is alright, we are not in denial.



there is a spectrum.



sbm.
Donall Dempsey May 2018
THE NEW GODS

The rain
rained

as was
its wont.

It was just being
itself.

Paying no attention
to the humans

caught up in
its moment.

"Wow!" said the humans.
"Wow!" the wind mimicked them,

An old shed
offered them its protection.

Already they
soaked to the skin

set about
removing everything.

The rain now
galvanised itself.

Above their head the world was
being pulled apart

atom by atom
it seemed

that if they were to
emerge that moment

there would be nothing upon nothing
for ever and ever.

They huddled together
fearful of the thought

as if it could come
true.

They pooled their warmth
together

flesh cleaving to flesh
they knew each other

in a Biblical way.

They were taming the storm
remaking the world

with their love
even as it was

torn apart.

Each caress
putting back

molecule by molecule
the lost world.

When the great monster rain
had sulked off

they came again
into a day

made of sunshine
and the wonder

of what was
to be.

The world
created anew

in their own
image.

They now
the new gods.
Donall Dempsey May 2017
THE NEW GODS

The rain
rained

as was
its wont.

It was just being
itself.

Paying no attention
to the humans

caught up in
its moment.

"Wow!" said the humans.
"Wow!" the wind mimicked them,

An old shed
offered them its protection.

Already they
soaked to the skin

set about
removing everything.

The rain now
galvanised itself.

Above their head the world was
being pulled apart

atom by atom
it seemed

that if they were to
emerge that moment

there would be nothing upon nothing
for ever and ever.

They huddled together
fearful of the thought

as if it could come
true.

They pooled their warmth
together

flesh cleaving to flesh
they knew each other

in a Biblical way.

They were taming the storm
remaking the world

with their love
even as it was

torn apart.

Each caress
putting back

molecule by molecule
the lost world.

When the great monster rain
had sulked off

they came again
into a day

made of sunshine
and the wonder

of what was
to be.

The world
created anew

in their own
image.

They now
the new gods.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
1943 ww2
The. Invasion force took
the never ending war
to the other side of the English channel.
It had been long in coming
but they were ready.

The invasion landing craft
were rusty made of iron and steel
like the men aboard them
They were all afraid.
They knew  their losses would be many.
They knew it might be them

But the duty was absolute
for each and every one of them.
He was a teacher not a soldier
but wars had made him into to one.
He could not recollect
when he even shot
a firearm at an enemy.
Or even if he could.

He was not a avid soldier
but he must do his duty.
He knew this
as he looked at the men
in the crowded landing craft.
The beach was silent no chaos
but in moments that would change,

the protective front dropped to the ground.
As he rushed forward
as though an electric light switch
had been galvanised.
the mayhem started
machine gun fire and rockets
bombarded them.

He saw his friend Johnny hit badly
in the chest it was fatal.
He dropped His weapon
and cradled the young man in his arms.
He died there calling for his mother.

The rocket shell exploded next to him
and he fell next to his friend
and lay as dead.

Three years later

The military hospital was always
full so much pain so much grief.
The Irish nurse was cleaning the soldier
that had been in a coma
since his arrival  several years ago.

She had bright green eyes
and red hair the trademark traits
of an Irish lady
who drank a can of hope and stubborn
every morning for breakfast.

She noticed his fingers moving
Well now she whispered
Its himself.
He's with is thanks be to Jesus.

His eyes opened they were
blue and beautiful.
Your back are you?
so she said.
I thought you were going
to sleep forever
so I did

When am I?
he said almost in a whispered
Am I dead?
No your back with the living she smiled.

It was the start of his recuperation
she helped him move his
anthropic muscles.
and learn how to walk again
she told him of the war
being over and won.

After six months he was well enough
to leave the hospital.
He had even interviewed for a teaching post
at greycastle school for boys.
The doctors told him to take a vacation
Perhaps  on the railway
to help in resolving himself
with the post war world.

He took the sleep train from euston station
in London and set forth on his adventure.
The old coal fired engine set forward
to Scotland it was peaceful
as he passed the green towns
of England county by county.

Until re reached Scotland .
Ahh! Scotland
so far away from a London
he no longer wished to see
after its desolation from the bombs.

He trembled as he thought of the war.
As the train trundled past lochs and mountains
of Scotland gleaming in the rare sunlight
he felt a peace that had eluded him for so long.

She alighted the train at Inverness
so beautiful and yes enticing.
Even to a stodgy old
out of work schoolmaster like him.

She  sat opposite to him in the old carriage.
After  while she opened
her huge purse an took out a
package of sandwiches.

Would you care for one she asked softly.?
Normal reticence was overtaken by hunger
Yes  please that would be lovely he said.
He bought two weak after war coffees
from the char lady.
And two custard creams.

They talked he did not realise.
How much he had missed
the conversations with an attractive lady.
He told her of his war issues
how he had lost several years in a coma
She listened intently to him.

He realised  that such a beautiful woman
would have no interest
in an old stodgy
Old school  teacher like him.
But she was sweet
and kept asking him more details
about himself.

He knew he had no skills
in charming the fairer ***.
Only his love of literature
Shakespeare decarte Chaucer
but she did not seem to mind.
By the time the train reached CHESTER
he realised that he was in love with her.

The train inched its way back
into euston station
On a trip he did not want to end

The window was open an piece of coaL dust
from the engine found its way into his eye.
she rolled the edge of her handkerchief  
and got the speck of soot  out of his eye.

The pain subsided immediately
Then she pulled his face to hers
and kissed him. Full on The mouth.
I have never kissed a man
Unintroduced before she said.
But you are so very shy.

Forty  five years later

They were old now he was dying
They lived in the house
allocated to headmaster emeritus
of greycastle school
a post he held for some twenty five years.

She leaned over his bed
and said do you remember
the train my love.?

Even in leaving her he smiled
yes my Darling
You shared your ham sandwich with me.
And then you kissed me first.
thats because I found my life partner.
Like this she said
he saw her crystal grey eyes
Still as beautiful as the day
they captured his heart so long ago.
The fragrance the softness of her lips.
He passed from her
The last breath of his in  this world
Was left on her lips.

The train was  traveling through the daylight
scotland came into view the lochs
and mountains the purple heather.

The old char lady came into the carriage
He bought two coffees and two custard tarts.
Be patient sir she whispered kindly,
She will be joining us very soon.
At Inverness.
thankyou for the prompt, the questions.

some times there is no answer, no words to describe.

yesterday i went alone to hold those feelings private

there was joy in the small things

chips from the shop the first for two years

ate in the sun under the particular trees

the absence of red soap and the joy of seeing the garden again, the galvanised cold frames

and wondering why only eight of her children were carved in the church recess when she bore ten

yet I tell you this

it were a lovely day with new surprises

and confirmation that I never wish to win

nothing
Mateuš Conrad May 2021
today:

i've sort of quit smoking...
but as you: or don't...
watching the eurovision song contest
results come in
while drinking some southern comfort
admiring the moon while the clothes drier
was wheezing it's last r.p.m.

i thought: well... at least a session with
in a dentistry chair can become
more pleasurable...
i saw more cringe than fringes...
when culture dies there's
that... added shock of:
i wouldn't call it an itch...
it's not a case of goose-bumps...
it's a sickly sweet sensation...
it's "something" that makes you want
to *****, trouble is:
you did some 50+ stomach crunches
and have eaten bad
blueberry ravioli...

so... there's not much in the tank
to... so you're basically forcing up bile...
but i cycled into central London today...
i passed Soho plenty of times...
i never bothered to venture in...
i was looking for a look of reciprocation...
from a gay-lord...
otherwise i was there eyeing up
some *******...

because: obviously i wasn't scouting
for comic books...
comic characters... perhaps...
capes? not so much...
a ******* ****-storm of....
marching for Palestine... congregated
at Hyde Park...
i did my usual round around that
bloated space of green...
on my way back into Essex
i had to cut through the swelling of the vein
of bodies...

i was almost tempted...
i wish i would have been...
it would be silly to shout obscenities...
although i did manage to build up
this toothache on my way back...
like i was given this evil-eye for being:
the usual suspect...

how much did i want to laugh while
passing this protest with the words:
gott! mit! uns!
  looking for an itch... looking for some
manna...
like the protest of homeless men on
oxford street among all the shoppers,
atheists... materialists...
i was almost... enraged by a seed of jealousy...
of not being... part of something...
wouldn't you?
i almost wished to don a kippah
or the star of david cycling into this throng...
this river of people...
gott! mit uns!

łamany łbem:
            broken with a head....
divided by a head...
and When i think about it...
i don't... i think about not thinking...
designated orientation concering
a "lost narrative" of res vanus...

głowa (gwova)...
        doubled down dutch privy to Welsh...
with a head...
        z głową...
which implies a neck... shoulders...
a balancing act worth of spine...

      łeb: for the animal... pysk: the snout...
canines...
  łbem: stressing the point of forehead...
hammer...
with a head, hardly absent...

yesterday:

a minor amnesia - nonetheless it happens,
there's another word for it...
skleroza: spontaneous forgetfulness...
this fickle creature that's memory...
thankfully i have a stash of about 5 major memories
that i like to revisit...
play them over and over in my head...
since... i'm not on the crux of death...
well... since i'm not...
i have become more prone to exercise
the freedom of memory than i might want
to watch a movie...
trouble comes when i'm not my own d.j.,
in a car... heading toward... ******* IKEA...
in Enfield... where the phlegmatic crew of
dodo are this close | | to learning the arithmetic
of time...
a song on the radio... Belinda Carlisle...
circle in the sand...
in between talking with my father...
                  nothing metaphorical about that...
- so you know how old bob marley was
when he died? 36...
- you think he would still be touring?
well... he wouldn't need the money...
**** jagger does it for the joy...
        
i can't write narratives...
it's not like we're estranged...
but... it's complicated...
i think this is one area of my life i will keep
off-limits when writing...
i can be as honest about ******
as i can be about horses...
the narrative never took place...
believe me...
we talked about a range of things...
morgage

then when we came home an hour
later than expected...
she (dearest mother)
was probably drinking alone...
throwing little tantrums of me and father
alone time...
well... not to mention he was absent
from the most crucial years of my life...
from 4 till 8...
how does the ugly side of immigration
look like? brain-drain...
we: the diaspora members...
away from the motherland...
for the "better life"...
i too am playing catch-up...
how did ol' Leo frame it?
every happy family is the same...
but every sad family is sad uniquely:
in it's own unique way...

  get Wittgenstein to sort this
tautology... i'm not going to bother...
come to think of it... it's not even
a tautology... a tautology would be more
focused on thesaurus rex...

we had a conversation about football
and music... re-mortgaging...
even Bowie remained true to music...
he probably didn't tour...
but still made new content...
singing about mortality and ****...
i think i'm having this playback moment
in my head...

but then this song came on the radio...
magic fm... belinda carlisle...
circle in the sand...
all of a sudden i had this urge to listen
to a song, that song reminded me off...
oh hell... exactly: what was it?
the search began with: 'the message'...
mc-****-fartery...
      round and round...
jokes aside... i had to listen to belinda's
song on earphones once more
before the "revelation"...

  it seems obvious... "now"...

nik ******* kershaw - the riddle...

exactly... how did i get "the message" wrong?
two strong arms... blessings of Babylon...
blah blah: toe-tying-riddle...
almost like good luck is expected...

come to "think" of it...
a revelation... even though there's that monotheistic
focus on the patriarch...
puppet... strings...
missing *******...
i'm having a hard time not thinking
that ha-shem... the nameless father of hey-zeus
and the ha-ha-mighty blah-lah-al
are not... primarily... feminine gods...
well... conjured up from a ****
rather than a working 'ed...

they're irrational... and can be reduced down
to... the three heads of Cerberus...
they are never really depicted...
worded sleuth pulp fiction harlequin traps...
most artists?
oh **** me... even the ****'ites would agree...
get your eyes to focus on something...
that's how much i dare to admire Islam...
from the ****'ite perspective...

what ******* topic is this?
i was about to pour myself another drink
and this thought like a blitzkrieg came
flushed from a ******* in the universe
where all the gods and nothings
congregate from indigestion and
constipation...
a ******* miracle: a diarrhoea moment...
of sorts...
the monotheistic veneer... of "patriarchy"...

what?! she wants a ring of gold
and my ******* too?
how about a tent's worth of a kippah
on my ******* tonsure?
a man would require a screwdriver...
a hammer... nails... screws...
it would make sense to have many
involved... than this pressure of solipsism...
vampire... succubus... leech...
a ****** hail mary...

**** speak...
                    so great... the technological advances...
atheistic secularism...
but there's a ******* grid-lock to mind too...
no a ****** dam...
a rich cognitive custard...
it's just that: a cognitive custard...
like Moses rekindling a belonging concept
along the lines of being lied to:

monotheism hardly serves man...
i can find appeals to the illusion it presents...
but... hardly...
looks like the "plenty of fish in the sea"
metaphor is drying up the concept
of a "catch"...

the conversation with my father are
off-limits in my purpose of writing in the first
place... unlike a Knausgaard...
i'm the drinker... he's the teetotaller...
he's the workhorse i'm the... chicken-scratcher:
if i had ink...
but i'm also probably ten beaks pecking
resounding at this... grand... oh my god...
******* piano of QWERTY...

genius idea... what?
qwerty... because the orthodox memory erosion
of the alphabet is of any use?
suddenly everything has to **** me off...
it has to be dipped in still water...
it has to be believable...
monotheism is concretely a religion
designated for the preservation of women...
why my *******?
oh... because if you don't have it...
i can... ******* at a leisurely pace?

that a woman can ******* without inhibitions...
while i have to be shamed?
*******, *******...
i don't even have enough slander to express
what my heart reacts to these days...
i don't have "hurt" feels...
i have... agitated feelings...
thank you for waking me up from my numb...
apathy...
but what do i hear? "hurt feels"...
****'s sake... those people don't even recognise
what feeling is supposed to feel like!
they're all french footballers... "hurt" all of a sudden...
wow! so...
"hurt" is translated into the parameters of:
feeling per se?
imagine my shock finding out that
apathy has dulled "i.q." to so little that...
you must be hurt to feel...
you can't be spontaneously agitated...
you must be hurt...

bring out the hot horseshoes...
let's have some fun branding these *******-waggling-
***** aside...

just wait for the breeders to wake up
to having children that turn into freely-arranged
agents of will...
i'm passing through a decade where there's
boasting...
but sooner rather than later...
there will be some hidden mention
of those... pickled-cabbage:
why do the 'indus find pickled cabbage
"funny"?
not eating beef sounds pretty funny...
or like that "proverb" from Morocco:
there's no water, in the desert...
then... what... the... ****... are... you...
"doing" in this, here... land of replenished
roots?!

******* camel jockeys...
what do "they" call them, proper?
sand-*******...
it would take a Bengladesi to get
smart notes on the caste "system"....
Aryan has no origin in Europe...
it probably originated in Indian when
they first came across Persians...
who are... oddly... "pale"...
but have not bartablondine aspects
of their ****** expressions...

ivory skinned like an Iranian or a ***-
without a suntan?
"you" wanted trenches...
here's my designated plot...
"you" wanted ******* to overshadow
real.. culprit-esque concerns...
the jealousy of a woman
knows not bounds...
most especially when a father-son
privacy is engaged with...

  if i ever encountered male jealousy...
it was always rare...
almost never...
        but female jealousy? anything...
everything to belittle the opposing "authority"...
ha-shem... the jealous deity of women...
blah-lah-al of...kept secrets stashed in the niqab...
allure of the ******* eyes...
come on...

****** ******* mary:
that matriarch of sold foetuses and
walking abortions...
at least there was something adventerous
in conceiving the existence of Loki...
of Thor...
there's nothing... original about the point
of monotheistic gods...
that there are three...
is Islam the truest of religions?!
they had a Sunni ****'ite schism... didn't they?
once again:
i want to believe in something:
to give me momentum...
give be a willing acceptance to excuse...
an overarching stressor of incredulity...
and a... "what life"?

well... existence is...
out of every instance: a persistence to:
instance... a persistence...
that's... existence... ex-
out of...
and stance...
dis-ease... a negation of ease...

there will be plenty more of those car
journey listening to magic fm...

an "original": whether mind, or thinker...
that mythology of evil that the Nazis provided...
******* Armani suits and boots...
or whoever designed them... Hugo Boss...
what are we left with,
to mind matters of collectivism?
the evil of censorship instigated by...
halfwits and ******* haemophiliacs?

a myth of evil that could be...
galvanised... momentum and emblem...
what's on offer... currently?
grey-suits and...
expectations: that it's the "21st century"
something magical is about to happen...
what's the difference between the 20th century
and the 18th century?
the 19th century...
so what's the difference between
a pebble, a cliff edge and a mountain?
don't know... a river? a lake?

that same **** different cover excuse
like some wonderful was going to happen
in the 21st century...
like there was a promise...
where is this **** coming from?!
oh yeah... but it's the 21st century...
i was hoping for gravity to ******* and turn all:
short-circuit awry...

i can pretend... for a while...
but after that while passes... i turn into a real mystery
of a door **** gone berserker...
are there these societal expectations
to simply **** **** the next...
blow the next... ******* origami of OXFAM
purple-fest whimpering "dead-doughnut":
although i'd cry... if it was a stray dog
from the streets of Seville...
******* camel-jockeys...

  it's not even a inhibited play on pronouns:
there's no: "they"...
i thought the trans-lobbyist covered the plug-hole
of cognitive-****...
there is not "us" or "them":
gender neutral is me...
armed with a strap-on ***** on my ******* forehead...
a bit like... that hebrew practice of...

so i had me a "friend: a fwend...
maybe that's cornish for something in velsh...
you know how word salad sounds?
on a persistence?
sure... a son of divorce...
what am i? his ******* uncle?
his mother undermined the concept
of al dente spaghetti...
we're talking fractions of people...

people eat ****... leave the universal utility
of pork aside...
mind you: not water in the desert...
and not piggy too...
the leather shoe... the belt...
it's not exactly kosher... is it?
i have this backlog of a peoples...
at least a priest only attracts confessions...
i'm not at knife point
easy... for this triad to work?

if my fwend mentioned cognitive custard...
but the concensus of word salad
is socially broke on the norm...
so blah blah boo'yah assortment...
enriched strawberries...
juicing much later...
i can understand cognitive custard... pie...
but a word salad?
that's.... what doesn't deviate from
solipsism... this solo "project"
of "you and i"...

                      psychiatry is persisting to be
deemed a branch of
the Hippocratic oath....
but it's not...it's pseudo-"medicinal"...
it's hyped-up... idon't remember
that junction in a life...
hardly worth lived... just lived...
of my 20s... what mea culpa stressor of
those psychopaths?
currents under the broken wheel of...
attempts at supressing..
momentum? this whole ******* "flake"
of barrage?

by word salad you're implying i
have, speak... low i.q....
    non-hieroglyphic suede...
non-answerable... past replica...
woe wow salad...
but how i understand it...
a cognitive custard...
well... thinking is messy:
you ******* dim-wits!
        ought-i: thought...
i don't like being ridiculed...
or expected to her a less i.q. than what's...
nuanced at a ****** favouritism... Balkan-esque...
seriously... *******: before i ****** someone...
ugh attached to that: wind... now there's a purpose...

yeah... so what's what?
this is the least of my "concern"?
well... as they say in the west...
as long as the brain-drain happens...
we can forget about keeping the native 9 to 5ams...
sort of... but hardly... justifiably...
less than expectedly...
capitalistically boast: not exhausted...
sort of...

i can understand cognitive custard...
meddle some more...
word salad?
your ******* ****- nig-
of sorts is speaking your language better than me?
******* sour crass of a native's ***!
*******...  and you deserve it.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2021
dissect in the ranks... would you believe it:
the english way of drinking black tea with
a dollop of milk is not somehow unique
to the english... it is known to be practised
in Siberia...

now... how did i learn to write?
i write like my english teacher conducted lessons...
a Glaswegian by the name of
Thomas Bunce...
i almost took the King's Road all the way
from London to St. Andrew's...
i was accepted into Bristol: for
a course in virology... i passed...
seeing Edinburgh for the first time...
felt like seeing Paris for the first time...

but this English teacher taught by digression
alone... that was his tactic... overflowing
with anecdotes...
of course i wasn't going to elevate my
English by learning from strict English
teaching English types...
i would require myself to be immersed
in a people who "forgot" speaking Gaelic...
who... had Gaelic accents:
the trilled R... the general sing-along
clarity of syllables... the Scots don't speak:
they sing...
none of this English bulldog saliva custard
pie of consonants eating vowels
and consonants eating consonants...
come on... Trainspotting was written in
a "dialect": a Scottish accent alias for:
there should be some Gaelic in you...
no? the Welsh subservient cucks of all people
still managed to pull it off...
why... not... you?
the accent is enough?
i guess that's why the Welsh kept their tongue
and didn't mind having any bother
for an accent... generic... Middlesex...
home counties safe... sort of an outlet...

oh i'm not going to drink black tea with a dollop
of milk for some time...
i've turned to... something from Paraguay:
Para-g'why...
           YERBA MATE...
of all the major tea drinkers of the world...
the English... the Russians... the Turks...
eh... one coffee is enough...
but something after dinner...
something in the morning...
i'm still all for milk...
although i'm easing into finding too much
of it as unpalatable...
not constipated not diarrhoea prone...
just... bloated...
if you ever had a chance to... ahem...
"suffer" from classical bulimia... the ancient Rome
type where you'd shove the index and middle
finger into your mouth and wait
for the oesophagus reflex
you'd know that milk upon impact with
the "creative" juices of the stomach
becomes curd cheese shrapnel...
the rest is a yellowish water of lactose...

dissent in the ranks: i'm not going to drink
any more of this cow-squirt tea profanity!
this Siberian tea for milking first mothers...
that's another name: i missed the original term
for tea drank this way:
BAVARKA... tea drank by lactating women...
of Siberia...

- pulverising digression... imitation of
blitzkrieg... one wave after another... and another...
until... XAOS...
or chaos... it's spelled differently:
it's hardly CHasing orders... is it?
K-O-Y-S...
     why no why?
i wouldn't learn anything about the English zunge
in Bristol...
i might pick up a western land accent
at best... but among a people that
didn't tend to their Gaelic garden...

ol' Thomas Bunce knew how to digress...
he spoke with a collage impetus...
one "thing" led to another...
and he would speak...
and speak... Shakespeare was ol' Shaky
for 'im... i can't imagine if it was also a pear...
he introduced me to jazz...
i introduced myself to jachie mittoo myself...
(jackie? no... judge: itch with an i.e. "me too" #)

i can't help it... every time i visit a
brothel is reeks of bourbon...
the best sort of bourbon...
the air in a brothel is suffocating you
with bourbon... that's of course
until you arrive at the "pearly gates" of
a woman's naked body...
hence? the flood...
all the painting can cower and find:
redemption in a shade and some blinking
eye...
befriending a horse...
riding a horse at a gallop...
a lover-boy of a cat cuddling up to you
in bed while ******* off while you
find your sweet spot falling asleep on your
side...
walking a dog without a leash...
riding a bicycle on a stretch of the A12
or calculating spacing & timing on
the Gallows Corner roundabout...
it fits... sure... it fits...

- hyphen before a newly arrived sentence?
i couldn't write a novel...
too much time in between...
one smooth cut: one pristine use of the axe:
there's no need to chop at a neck
of Mary Antoinette with a blunted blade...
paragraphs are: congested bile...
myopia...
bogus labyrinths of follow-up linear:
non-patterns...

thinking of Brazil i think of the pristine
post-racial society of mulattos...
it works... i can see it clearly...
my white... sandpaper skin will bleach
any Kenyan d.n.a. in a matter of...
two generations of interracial *******...
truth... not paper...
but no European, ahem... "nation":
h'america will try and try will fail:
whatever "racism" is there is merely:
a focus for the integrity of what can ever
be allowed to be kept...
too much history... esp. history written down...

if there was a Friedrich Barbarossa...
then there must be a Conrad Bartablondine...
schnurrbartblond...
(sznur - rope)

there's still a bottle of wine ahead of me...
-bart- hair... rope-hair... blonde...
i must look Danish at this point:
god... those... handsome *******...

every time i leave the brothel
i have an image in my mind...
William Blake's
           the ***** of Babylon riding
some schizoid creature...
looted... looted...
i'm curious about the concern for identity
theft since... Nietzsche began:
at least he posited the origins in ******...
deluded as he was:
my advice? it's no advice:
i can prescribe anyone going mad
early on in life:
point being: it's a double-jeopardy game
after the first time
i.e. you can't go mad twice...
the second time you're suspected
of "going mad": you have only achieved
a: tunnel-vision...
horse gallop with blinders...
ladies... gentlemen... we're digging trenches...
say all you want:
Vietnam had the best soundtrack...
and it was the first war proper:
it was proper because it was staged
against guerrilla warfare...

i leave the brothel and put fire to that ol'
painting of Blake's:
while i hope to listen to some
KMFDM - JEZEBEL! (juke joint)
ah.... i'm still stinking of bourbon even though
i haven't drank any...

point being: England would have won
that football match...
if only their woke-ness led to a woke-insomnia:
if they took the second knee into
perspective: like a Catholics do during mass...
one knee wasn't going to cut it...
sorry... it would require: two...

but then... where was the Eucharist?
ghost god limb on the ghost mouth nibble?
come to think of it... it's no longer a metaphor
for a "king without a crown":
unless the lazy crown of laurels
is your thing when Horace is usurped
by someone donning a crown of myrrh...
how about: your average Joe...
having a hard-on proper:
but not donning a strap-on ***** to his
forehead...
because... some woman somewhere
might think him as being: "always in the mood":
retractable possession... some Duracell bunny type:
typo... a universal plumber taboo topic of:
"that" spanner...

thus: seated at the left hand of the father...
herr joke-a-lot... and this is even before i leave
a mark on my closure:
a weak-bladder i can feel the sense
of excitement at it not being a premature *******
contest...
i forget to time writing what i write
and drinking what i drink
and prior to the zenith...
i scribbled something down...

i'm still begging for closure...
if his birth was governed by the slaughter of
the innocents to plagiarise the birth
of Moses... Herod's lust...
Chernobyl seems pretty, ******* tame...
oddly enough i'm turning "woke":
the rest have been galvanised:
insomniac of proto-protein shakes
and amphetamines... and teasing some...
gwammar... itches...
you know... the usual...

all this before me intended: intent...
i tried it with her... this Romanian mare...
i couldn't get a *******...
i tried and tried: i probably drank too much
to give me a limb status of whittle 'itch-ard...
so i began to point at her body parts...
i wanted to know the noun
for eyes in Romanian... freckle...
collar-bone...

i'm not going to sit around and ****
Nigerian **** while i'm at studying
the geography of a woman's body...
a naked body of mine: but most assuredly hers...
will sink any man to any extreme
of finding a revived purpose...
i'll go blind with rage:
with a rage most associated with lust...
how paradoxical it must be...
when circumstanced with the oath
of Hippocrates...
oddly enough: modern psychiatry is alien
to anything to do with Hippocrates...
psychiatry is pseudo-medicine...
it's a bit like giving surgical license to...
butchers!
i have no respect for these: cre-a-tures...
of their own fancy: their own benevolent
twist-and-turn of sadism...

the worst lot of man and... the best lot of man...
enters these confines of scrutiny...
my brain some chemical soup...
**** 'em... give me the sort of Vietnam
with the soundtrack already provided...

but at least a ******* touched me...
he fiddled with my beard: played the *******
metaphor of violin with it...
there was even a goodluck charm
by her way of fiddling with it
just so a leprechaun would be conjured up
like a mushroom in the night!
like a spaghetti twister of an octopus might
conjure a spine!
enough dead-weight for a decapitation
sequence with ol' Ollie Cromwell being
invited... a football match with
Robespierre's head being kicked about!

yes... i started to read more Charles Olson
and deviated from all that's Bukowski
and all the Beat poets...
we're living in a democracy...
we're not living in a democracy?!
is my worth of worth a worth
of stale bread, somehow?

- so much trash from a people who have a
complete disrespect for the:
livestock market... of where their "canvas"
of brushstrokes is coming from:
seemingly from some "afar"...

the original transcript...

   languages are only fascinating within the confines
of nouns:
                                 )
                                             )  Buddha smiles
                                 )

                                 (
                                            )    hieroglyphic
                                 (                 rock-god... agitates
                                               the eyebrows to take a wink...
wink...

   (etymology grieves... while Darwinism is...
nothing more than a bombast return to "form"...
ulterior... cubism and.... Bra-bra-zeal!)

  (eyes: not: to impression oneself on
the "other" with a... "look")...

romanian - ochi
finnish - silmät
****** - oczy
english - eyes
german - augen (blick...
trust the germans to fathom
noun as verb and in reverse.. blick)
italian - oculus per oculus (occhi)
greek - μάτια...

oddly enough verbs are less fascinating
when... there's all that "compensation"
concerning nouns...
foremost: verbs are not etymologically
      "gathered"...
        there is not etymological "rooting"
in verbs... but there is... concerning nouns...
verbs have no etymological rooting...
nouns do...
but whatever the zodiac-esque importune...
that we place on nouns...
to fulfil the meaning of our name
Matthias - gift (of) god... not from...
Conrad - wise council...
prepositions are shrapnel...
   w (in) do (to)
   z (with) o (about)
vowels that also act like
prepositions
      i (and) zza (from... behind...
                 the Tartar mountains... Czech republic)...
    za (for)...

also... eyes... ayes... how many eyes do i have
to say: yes... parliamentary...
English s unique in that...
you can say say two things once...
but also say them twice...
the encoding divergence of "spelling":
ayes vs. eyes...
                see through to sea...

i must be a king turned pawn:
the queen's all bishop creek...
hallows aat the rook...
i must be lamenting:
the best ******* i ever received
came from someone i paid for...
dumb-smart is the next best thing:
of outsmarting the mythological:
mantis...
chimp craze with mantis
antics...
      well... who's superior
who's who?
                     "milk" some other  bull
for all that genocidal ***** juicing...
hello brick-wall: hello...
alpha what?!
harem posits?

                 i walk into a tornado...
i walk into a "grieving" sea...
       sooner i come across these creatures
than if i were to come across the ferocity of
a neglected woman!
this neglected beast... look at her...
how exfoliating mantis she suddenly
come with added bad english gwammar...
it almost looks like a stand-off in Velsh!

the maxim of my late grandfarther starts ring:
there are no ugly women in this world...
there are onbly neglected ones.
In Defence of Donal Trump

He is a crude person, not one I would
like the share a coke with, but he has galvanised
the working class (middle class) which was
shunned under the previous administration.
The class forgotten by other parties have found
a voice someone who talks for them
and more Americans are at work as never before.
He represents an America that is not glib and
university educated but merely want a job and be able
to feel they are listened to.
He is a reckless president does not understand
foreign politics and don't care to know, but his group
do not care about Afghanistan, Iraq or other places,
he is delivering want they want.
This is what an American president is for.
Ryan O'Leary Dec 2018
I can remember my grandmother
    taking eggs from under a hen
   and on the way back, squirting
       milk from the udder cow.
     Srish srash, srish srash into
          a galvanised bucket.

   Out on the sill, souring lactose
      looked like a white brain in
    preserving fluid and together
   with the chickens yolk, took on
    the same colour, as the house
              of yellowed ochre.

     The mixing bowl resembled a
     world war one soldiers helmet,
    with near escapes of hen pecked
       enamel and skirmishes with
                under fed dogs.

      Hands hauled sifted flour in
        memorised cup-holds,
          salt, a pinch in haste,
              a curse removed,
            a shoulder blessed.

        Fire, of turf, which smoke
      the walls and time caressed.
      Soda rising, raisins bursting,
   window cooling, dough to crust.

                          <>

                         For
   The Alternative Bread Company.

                         By
              Ryan O'Leary.
Yesterday in Cork City, I went to the
famous indoor English Market and
recited the above poem for the owner.
She gave me a box of organic mince pies.
Now, the poem is going on display and
later, on a bread bag.
liking enamel tops for tables
liking enamel anything

i have a few here , cupboards and the like
around the place

also liking galvanised iron
enjoy putting the words in
search on ebay
to see what comes

up

the garden there are bins to
store compost and slate

chippings

your plans sound homely

i remember dogs chasing bikes
down green road, barking into

the distance

had a delivery yesterday and
he struggled with the weight
tell tale signs

later I stored it all
struggled with the weight
in two parts

it is clear this morning and
I fear I shall not get to lampeter

this year

it is a global pandemic

this year

i have been busy
one way and another

she says the swifts are leaving….
look at you promoted from the use for which you were designed

a white enamel was desired
yet a galvanised was ordered

and though come lovely also
came too big for the space so

used to carry in the exotic logs
which help the environment and
crumble on the floor otherwise if
not contained somehow

the problem continued upstairs
so we moved you there yesterday

a new chapter
a new purpose

you succeeded nicely

i too reflect this story
start a new chapter
without purpose

really

and accept the predictions
as they seem to come correct

it was not a thought as such
more of a knowing

there is a photograph

come random

— The End —