Freeing from the shackles of the past
trickling down to a catharsis
at the slender neck of the hourglass,
the golden grains of sand
dribble down
to create my reality.

Unhurriedly they flow,
with me they flow
into the forgottenness of the past  they flow,
to rise like a Phoenix
clothed in the newness
of the present
to create a new me!

Always the same, in every night
Words stuck in my brain
I feel meaningless
With grievingness
A silent retreat in this
Forgottenness
The rottenness
A knife to jab into my wrists
The pointlessness
That I exist
Maybe it's cuz I'm a pessimist
I can't resist
The Devil's list
Or the urge to sink in the abyss
Well if it's true, I'm so worthless
Why can't I be blue?
Do I deserve to be hurting?
Constant self re-working
Shadows lurking
Thoughts are jerking
Evil sits inside me, smirking
Eyes averting
Words alerting
Save me from this dark converting
Self asserting
Random blurting
Worse than the ****** flirting
With my corrupt, thoughts perverting
It's clear I'm ****** up
But crying’s
Not dying
No matter how hard I'm trying
Horrifying
Re-wiring
Because my brain cells are frying
Clarifying
Not lying
Whether or not I'm implying
Defying
Denying
Is all that I'm supplying
The only crime, is, you stand by me
You're wasting your time
Mind won't stop racing
Or re-making
The challenges that I'm facing
Just shaking
Earthquaking
My anxiety displaying
Not praying
Or weighing
Any mistakes that I'm making
Soul fading
Creating
The sinful way I'm behaving
So every night, as I'm laying
It's these thoughts that bite
I'm meaningless
Self-loathingness
Magnifying my uselessness
A joyless
Black abyss
Wild *****, hungry for coitus
Yes, mindless
Undesignedness
Nothing to fill the vacantness
I'm voiceless
And pointless
…
It's these thoughts that's destroyed us

Fleeing from the shackles of yesterday,
trickling down to a catharsis
at the slender neck of the hourglass,
the golden grains dribble down
to create my present.

My days out-flowing
the forgottenness of the past
creating a newness
that explodes in every cell!

Dissociation saves, in my soul,
A shard of grief
For the next friend of mine
That leaves.

Hiding away into fantasy,
Pretending when I let mind
Slip from the hinges
Into the foresight.

An Atlas hold on my sky
Before the fall,
Knowing bracing
Won’t save bone from
Shards and splinters.

Fearful of loneliness
And forgottenness,
Shaking at honesty
Taking my fingertips
To write the truth.

Fantasy embraces me gladly,
As the thought of you two leaving,
Takes sanity and peels it
Like a scab.

Please don’t forget about me, my friends.

The black cat sat on the road of the sideways door and asked me to ask a question unanswered by the universe, for it seemed a little trepidation to ask such a stranger as me whose permanence like the door has gone beneath the waves of light and into darkness below the sun and stars, deeper than the night-cat’s fur. Yet I knew the answer and asked the question, and the stars gleamed brighter that rust, and the galaxies I saw were within the slitted eyes before my face, though I did not fall to my forgottenness in that galaxy, but lived in my ghostly form, unanswering questions of old and trying not to remember my thoughts. The cat was unknown to me after that, the tail like a feather duster leaping among the moons of my world, crowing down at me from branches and constellations. I wonder how the universe would think of such a black cat, one who does not mind the coldness of ghosts or stars, or the unknowingness of such things, and who asks for askers and questions them until the dust settles and transforms around it.

Abandoned
Left to fend
Not knowing a thing
Expected to survive
Adrift
In a sea of forgottenness
In a blanket of misery
Hungry
Afraid
No where to go
No one to run to
Knowing deep down
I won't survive
Dread
Roaring in my soul
Fear
Clouding my thoughts
Emotions raging
Going insane
From the uncertainness
And abandonment
Feeling reality's sharp sting
Finally realizing for the first time
He used me
****** me dry
Like a ravenous vampire
Drank every last drop
Until all that's left
Is a shell of
Myself

I used to be a dreamer. I lay awake at night believing I could do great things, believing that I could be somebody. Suddenly a whirlwind of forgottenness and darkness engulfed me and I felt as though I was nothing. I thought nothing, hoped for nothing. The millions of glorious colors were all gone; fading away like a forgotten dream. My soul no longer ached for the unpredictable future and how illustrious it could be. But then then I met you. I saw you on that wondrous night and looking into your eyes I saw my dreams. I knew you were the missing piece. The features of your face reflecting everything I'd ever hoped for. You set off a spark in my heart, a wildfire in my soul. This fueled my dreams which birthed an uproarious fire of hope and adventure. I dreamt a million vivid dreams all because of you. Just you. I can see the lights in the distance, just the way I had seen it thousand of times, perfecting my daydreams until I felt content. You set off the dreams in me I had suppressed for so long. The day I lose you is the day the darkness pulls me back in, the day I fall back into the stagnant, blank abyss. The day I forget to dream will be the day I lose sight of who I truly am.