How many could be calling?
Eitherwise, it is exausting
To be held by own accountability.
Ability for account; a mass
Of those counted.  Weigh creaks
On these levers over my eyes.
A lover in disguise lies
The warmth of this weight.
Lazy and laconic to confuse
The schizophrenic.
Lord I hope these are my own-
If I myself am not the sovereign-
Elaborate equations voiced
From character calculations.
Clacking their sums
In my sincere consideration.

We all have that second or so thought to reach concentric clarity.
When I sing or spiel the art of it, easier to make a monster of me.

I am underwater how do I chase?

Please forgive my blockings being unfollowed saddens me
I am only human make mistakes

Trying to understand your poetry without seeing your face
as the mirrors fogs I pushed to defog and unmask  

I am a realist in attitude
vission depiction is hard to do

seeing across the cyber space cold computer screen with clarity is exausting however fun

I guess I lost it forgive me
what I searched for desperatly
to find and hungrily devour
has found me instead

the final blow was executed
bittersweet the object of my
obsession has withdrown
a sacred tree tored in half

I remain changed wiser
a crying sorrowful nymph
bent fallen in this battlefield arena
my world in shambles remains
my sacred tree unreachable is

I struggle to breath as
I come up for a little fresh air
and a mighty hand pushes
me down
down under water again
and again

I appologize have mercy on my soul beloved loyal reader how much more wiser thou art

I hope whats on the other side is better than on this mirrored life of mine.

understand me please I pleed
that I may gather strenght
before I go hence and be no more
~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbbs

I don’t like it when people change
That’s my problem
All my best friends from home
I have known all my life
And when they change it’s gradual
I growth with them
We are intertwined
But here, at college
It is different and people change rapidly
I don’t have time to keep up
I don’t have time to analyze who they are anymore
I can’t keep up with their changing moods and wants
It’s exausting and that’s why I lost all my friends
I couldn’t keep up so I got kicked to the side
No pity please it’s a good thing
They create chaos and facilitate dysfunction only visible to the outside
I’m better now for this loss and I like myself better
I no longer sit in the dark crying over the loss of their love
I thrive with my new friendships of loving people with my own interests and aspirations and values
Starting anew is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done
But oh am I happy to be on the other side

I hyperventilate when I walk into a store or restaurant alone because I feel like I look like that fat lonely girl who got stood up.

I get lonely at midnight and panic that no one truly likes me and that I have never actually had a best friend.

I feel like a burden to anyone who is my friend and spend all my money on gifts for them to reaffirm that I am not a waste of space in their lives.

I always feel like I am being watched and that people are judging me every moment of the day.

I never tell someone how I really feel because I am afraid that when I am not happy, no one will like me, therefore no one has seen the real me and its entirety.

I feel weak when I cry and hide myself away from people so that no one will know I have an unhappy emotion.

I give 110% into making people in my life happier than I am because I am afraid they will leave me and it drains me so much that I feel numb when I am alone.

I never tell people of my past because I don't want pity from them or for them to worry and I find it exausting to reaffirm that I am not sad, even though I am.

I never tell my friends that I have depression and severe anxiety because in the past people have disregarded it and not taken me seriously.

I put up this wall for myself that makes me on red alert 24/7 and its like I am always running and never allowed to walk.

I feel like I am always sleeping with my eyes wide open and I wish that I could wake up.

Enupuph to throw away scores of iron shirts.
How heavy do you think a cord of wood
Weighs.  Its exausting and pointless to be
Acurate when time cost more then dollars.
The head that hides me never alters the
Way something alive has to die.  Even
Pine bleeds like pulp juice from the new sharp ax.
All around my neihborhood im being
Looked at by the trees when the wedge cracks through
Why am I splitting through the years of storms.
I hate hearing how alive my tree is.
The pines point of view is much higher then mine.

The fan whirring by and by
sounding off any unsettling thoughts
The heat still settled
unwilling to move
The dark dew outside my window seeps in
releasing an exausting sigh
The sheets clean
and comfortable
The body tired
and worn
Yet
sleep will surely never come tonight
for there is too much in tomorrow