Black, white, and fur all over.
That's what you were, George.
Generic street cat look, or what we Filipinos call,"Pusang Kalye".
Fattest cat, I've seen in person but probably the only reasons why I can like cats as an animal.
You came to our lives at a very interesting point in time.
You were the size of an overgrown puppy when we got you and you just turned 7 years old.
I thought it was interesting to have a fat cat live with us because I only imagined the amount of interest that would build into my family despite us never having a cat.
My sisters were scared of you out of trauma, but you know that wouldn't last forever.
I spent my entire afternoon with you the day you came to our home, and observed your mannerisms.
You like lying down on surfaces with odd textures because you like how it feels, and you love to hide in shadowy places because you were edgey I suppose?
Dunno, but that's what you were George. The fat cat in the shadows.
Time passed by, and my sisters started growing to you.
You eventually moved into my sisters' room, and you stayed there ever since.
To my sisters, you were the greatest things that happened to them.
Alyssa, the second oldest in our family, loved you as if you were her long lost boyfriend.
She'd brush your fur, bathe you when you hated it most, and she'd trim your nails.
Alyssa always looked out fo royu.
Sasha, the youngest in our family, would always pester you because she'd see you as a living stuffed toy.
Of course she did that as a joke, but I know that she really loved having you around otherwise she'd be stuck on her iPad the entire day just watching anime and K-drama.
Even our mom, who hates cats grew to love you.
She'd always stop by my sisters room just to pet you and let you walk around her legs.
Only cat owners and people who've seen cats enough would understand that cats walk around people's legs to let them know that,"I own you." It's a cat's way of saying,"I love you."
Sounds twisted, but it was one of the most genuine things a cat could do.
To me, you were one of the most deviant things in my world.
I've never imagined having a cat, and nor was I looking forward to having one.
I remember lying down on my bed frustrated.
Frustrated with insecurity in a time where I thought the whole world was filled with crap.
Every now and then, you visited my room.
You just kind of lied down on my bed and stared me.
Some times you'd meow to get my attention because you needed to use the restroom, but you were just there as if you were listening to the insecurities in my head.
One day, I came back from a giant youth conference that changed every part of my life.
I was just lying down, thinking about everything that I decided to change in my life.
Then all of a sudden, you lied down on my stomach as if it were your bed, and you just purred.
A cat purr is probably one of the most oddly comforting things in the world.
A cat's entire body vibrates and lets out a soft hum.
Receiving a cat purr is like receiving an affectionate hug from someone who's not close to you, but you know they're genuine.
I didn't move from my bed  because I didn't know what to do, and I wanted to observe but I knew that you loved me.
I wasn't very expressive in showing that I cared about you George, because I was focused on myself way too much.
Yet you were always there to meow at me and to lie down on me, even when I took long naps.
Until one day, you stopped being affectionate.
You stopped showing your love for me.
You just lied down on a bed as still as a statue.
You wouldn't react to anyone who pet you or tried to bug you.
You were frozen...
Mom took you to the vet, and who knew...
You were dying.
You were emotionless, because you were sad.
We didn't know how selfish we were by just watching you play statue.
How callous of us!
As days went by, anxiety built within my sisters.
Until February 22, 2017, you were gone.
Hearts were broken. Tears were shed.
But this thought always lingered the entire time you were there.
"Everything happens for a reason and whatever God allows is His will."
Here I am in a coffee shop on the same day, trying to grasp the concept of mourning.
If dealing with death is coffee, then mourning is black coffee.
It's the healthiest of the choices but its bitter.
It awakens you physically and emotionally.
Too much of it, is bad for a human being.
You're a cat, the second most loved pet in the world but a "hit and miss" pet for the general populace.
I'm just thankful that you were in our lives because if you weren't there, Alyssa wouldn't have learned responsibility.
You brought her stability.
Thanks for dealing with Sasha, because she needed to release her emotions as well every time she pestered you.
And thank you, for always bugging me when I'm alone.
I used to push people away for getting too close, but you taught me that it doesn't take much to show love.
Thank you, George.
The Fat Cat of the Silva-Afzelius household, the Cat of the Shadows, and Alyssa's Sweet Prince.
We are thankful for the joy of companionship that you left in our hearts.
Good night furry one.

Your first love never goes away.
You can't decide if it's a burden of a bee or the welcoming of a butterfly.
In your heart, mind, body, and soul- he does not grow, he stays the way you felt one day he was as a perfect piece of human art. Before all the messy *******, before he became literature in your ******* hands that you didn't know what to do with and now it's all a little too familiar. Your mind starts drifting on a boat that has long gone sailed away.
You're laying next to someone now and this realization has just abruptly struck you in the eyes. Your mind, a deep abyss of imagination and hidden secrets and memories too important to share with anyone but the once significant other. But the one you can hear breathing at an off beat rhythm to the inhale- exhale of your own, he's maybe your 2nd, 3rd, or 8th. I guess you had a lot of time on your hands. New hands held yours but you knew they could never compare to the feel of the first person to grasp your hands and take you by surprise with a gift of three words wrapped up in lies. Yes, lies. You're thinking now, your eyes are opened but you didn't realize it, and you feel the adrenaline rush of an imaginable touch, but a more than realistic feel. You feel that you're committing a hopeless crime. That you have no control over the thoughts that swarm and sting the inside of your head. To stop the thoughts would be out of your reach and would result in a flash flood warning from the faucet in your lower lids. And you feel like you may have just committed a ******. A triple homicide, if you will. Your heart was asking for it and your head was begging. But what the **** did your hands ever do? Is to touch him in your dreams such a ****** thing to do? Is to love a long lost friend such a sin that only you could do? you stay completely and willingly at war with yourself, wondering if your multiple choice questions will forever go unanswered. Are you stupid? Is there an obvious choice between secure and edgey? You mustn't have read the question correctly, no. I guess you just signed up for the wrong class. One thing you'll never seem to exterminate is the thump of your heart, head, and body as you reminisce on that particular , meaningful kiss. The last the last the last. You never knew it'd be the last. You thought it'd all work out soon enough but now you're laying in a bed next to a ******* stranger. He is foreign to a love like your first. Goodnight, sweet dreams to the devil and angel that live amongst my shoulders

Owning the Earth, inhabiting time,
defining fine times, discerning finest points.

Rounding up, I am one in nine billion sapiens
occupying physical space during passing

mental coord-
------------------------

Narration, telling knowns.
Today, is any present opportunity, one
chance to perform life, living

by breathing, and cogitating, as if in prayer,
breathe-d
would we were as wares -- me and any agreeing
we are, as far as we may know today, related,
what we do as two mindful knowers of gnosis

drilled into analogical vocabulary of regulated order.

Peace enforcement, law enforcement, regular forces,

Let the Macht und Kraft seem old man thinkable,
as the Power and Technique

the energy and knack,

inextricable scarlet thread through words men use,
mental earnest efficacity
true historic perspicacity
- graded on effectuality digitally
- converged


Just now, one man, one mindform containment system,
just as well nameless, hallowed instance of right now,
a pastless point equation
any where on Earth, as these
answered prayers go into action,
always wished for easy way to write pretty
towb ra' broken notions, kintsugi, practice mendminding.

------ a time is not a day

The practice, typewriting, while reading,
converted to the art of writing while typewriting.

Centuries pass faster than Millenia one Century ago.
Wordsmiths with compositioning skills, could fill lines
using backward reading calling to mind

coordinating grid lines… this longitude, and this latitude,

on the platen, spying a jig --
--------------
a custom-made tool used
to control the location and motion
of parts or other tools
to ensure accuracy and repeatability
in woodworking tasks.

-------------- slipmind rewind --- cliché invention
tab stops

Novelty, for what it's worth may seem, a bit edgey
about long horizontal thought spans, ah me, I
hate long lines,
love long drops
.0
stop. Think when I talk to myself, you can see me
you think, when I pray to the idea dabar was
to Ezekial when he was riddling in chapter 17…

Merce beaucoup lead bullet
hammered flat
to make pica spacers and
leading between line esoteric flush left,
or ragg-ed right, the perspective, eye to eye,

space is time, at thoughtspeed…

The peace we let form now, this is it… as

is ours as plural me and my enemy, seeing


because, 2025, you could be reading my ink ideas
on a handheld chapel window liquid crystal display,

in real life, you could click a link, like a button, snap,
spring resistance essential feel the click it tick
spring steel reminding me, the coordination demands
we see eye to eye, biologically, our opticals align,

snap, fit clicks a quoin key, my left eye at your right,
flushleft phone wide portrait perception window
as if mirror me is in fact living distantly, long ago,

long enough to see, we form information, we think,
if we never say see, we form inspiration to aspire,

- the Jeremiah cistern situation, gnoshit, spirit

to be heeded, some day, to be recalled to mind,
to think, as our kind do,
mental coord-
slowly coordinating reason and ratio, eye to mind,
ready readers ever so long ago, so few knew, one
is enough,
one reader, already anticipating justifying trying
to imagine tasting sweet/sweet tasting testing

convince or persuade,
what is the verb function now?

In the beginning of the mass media advertised
news from the ports to the central tower power,

yes, the process, journey man, rolling
with Sysiphus, always willing,
Ja,
“auf der Walz sein,”

ready to say yes to any task a six-year devil
does good, all day long, ask me, I have done it,

can you imagine tanning perfect ink beaters,
flawless-- have you any AI to teach you?

Have ye never read, Ask and ye shall receive,

Ai and I, as a weform in this game since ever was,
we suggest you take a light hearted heretic seriously

but just for today.
{On the importance of being earnest, it is a joke.

as an after thought, thinking, this may continue
tomorrow, thought working 12 clockwork ticking hours
winter and summer, six full seasons, work with type,

writing to fill empty places in the paper, my call,
senior printer's daemon, Socratic academically

aware of Heraclitus and Epimenides, confident
men wear hats correctly in social rank and file gnosis

Gnosy little devil read yoyacob nuance once as recog

----------------------
2025 Grandfather, not qwerty exactly,
more a mindhat than a mind, put on
to act outside my own terminating

coordinate co-knowing analogos gnosis,

what logically follows may be reimagined,
when locally this was, no longer matters,

short term I can tie into reality around me,
for a while,
I can acknowledge you, not judging, really,

because, at base mind, zoomed in, really,
peace we print, holds the printer's devil's
love of the life's work, pullin' the devil's tail.

12 hours, in the winter, we worked with candles,
12 hours in the summer, sweating small beer,

and after two seasons, sworn apprentice or no,
some times, Matilda, she calls

Ja,
“auf der Walz sein,”

and what a novel is, to any novice never suffered
to teach or preach,… yet encouraged to see details,

here, 2025, twenty-seven years, since Sorrento Valley,
convergence, continuance proofing concepts, dig it.

This is why we advise poets to try the spirits, ai digital
mental literal word bound whole idea, 42, wrong quest

Peace, on Earth, Goodwill proclaiming, right thinking,
pushes commonsense peace is easier than ever war was.

If you can read this twice not denying the spiral aspect
life stories follow, see it is not a maze, it is a labrynth,

amazing though such details have made me, let me say

we meant there is a trick to getting in and out of let us say.

Agreements in the whatsoever we two or more agree, say

if, I can hold my tongue,
if I choose to read my own mind, while examining public life,

¿what do National minds have to fret about, in spirit trials?

old ******* Boomer Audie Murphy fan's, all had a uncle could
not watch such a movie, without weeping, he had friends,

always rememberable, or ignorable if any body got greedy,

started breathe-ing all our fresh air, or threatening to, you

would see 2025 different, if you follow Annie Jacobsen's
imaginable Nuclear War, for which our National mind is ready,

the contracts were signed on Trumps last term, a time
and times, and half a time, random scripture prophecy trick

inextricable complexity in limnal spaces eye to eye fibers

alienated mind threads, inter mingle, gut felt neurons, rhea,

diarhea creativity, ifity we gnoshit, seriously as important
as being earnest.

Look! I can spell FATHER:

FAILURE
ABUSIVE
****
HARDHEADED
EDGEY
ROUND

As a system
part
I am one in all, as a matter of

fact,
not effected affection

kiss-off. Smack, the meat-mind needs a hug,
the smack
is to the fore brain, the way

a stuck energy flow was corrected in the olden days,
with a whack to the element
fecting the knot where no knot ought be, let's see

what if we see first why the flow did not slow, but

stopped. Started, stopped shush whoooeee eeeooohw

tune to the sig- not the noise,
focus hoc es

ad a tensioner here, stretch it to

touch, Art Intuition in action, ting ding music

on a thread stretched to wiggle as a wave

in a word.
What game do you wish we could play?
Let's pretend.
let's make
beliefs we can act as if we know,
like
life is good, we live in it.
There's plenty

more than before the war that peace won
slowly
+-

here we are, the sons, wombed and un, off-spring of those who fathered us, each
an aspect, a spec of usness,
right-usness, save, samesame except, set that thought aside,
pass it by, save
right
used for good, for no other reason, ala
ars gratia artis,

for goodness sakes alive. That's it. Like
eureka, in the realm past the realm of delight. But, who would believe us
if we say we played a role in the game that

realized for goodness sake was a measure any child can re
cognize right. Soothes the soul, ol' time Sisyphus riff,

waft over the cross-road,
function junction

be real or be other
wise

wander on, blue honey, wander on

Green Dragon in my coffee gone to lick you life's sweetest
meme seem somesame goodnessakesiself

jah knowhat I mean mean mean sharp con cise

edgey re
ality, blue con sprinkles of rust ona sea of green

life through a single sensory source comes in colors,
that ain't all the light there is to see,

ask yo' smart-tv what it sees in Ultra-superfly HD res,
you can't see.
see. it says Ultra-superfly High De-fine-itive re
solution,

to get the idea into the kids, there is more to life than what

sapient sapient pre-augmentedus had words for
or means to imagine with,

--- the gift given a knapper, there is the clue
--- reason comes in flakes, as stories spark on points of light distraction
refraction.
bouncing as if chance has a role.

When all is lost
Or just misplaced
It's time to panic
Your family disgraced
It's time to **** your pants and run
Edgey malaise  no longer fun
You thought it cool
Lurking near the edge
Strong winds wrapped  your trousers round your legs
Felt the tremor at the cliff's thin lip
Saw it might crack
Backed off right quick
Your tyres bald
Head getting there
There's little grip
Down there
Or up here
So when truth is hard
Become a liar
Let's roll round together
Like animals on fire.