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Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
you know how you can tell that women want
shorter  ****** encounters than men?
prostitutes.
   you know what they do...
they apply the secondary "*******",
to tighten the grib on
the penetrating object... i.e. they squeeze you
   invoking lamda
   the anti-chruchill Λ (lambda)...
huh?           don't ******* huh me...
          the index and middle
finger squeezes you...
   works magic when you've
be circumcised... but when you haven't,
and you **** while pulling
your ******* back exposing
the spartan "skin-head"?
         the c-ring is near your
head, rather than at
the base...
   so you're basically wearing
a bow-tie of flesh...
   handy jerking off,
      with the fleshy burqa...
and during *******,
imitating the monotheistic
aesthetic...
        two protruding veins,
you'd think they'd be
bursting at this point...
  even a ukranian *******
complained:
  when are you going to finish!
seems almost sad
   that women prefer quick
*** rather than athletic ***...
but the older the *******,
the more she's prone
to invent a second *****...
   her index & *******...
squeezing your phallus toward
a premature *******...
     kinda hard
   when you pull your *******
back and choke your member...
at the neck, rather than some
fetish at the base...
           sometimes you can go
for an hour and not *******...
and the ******* is like:
huh?! completely neutralised...
bewildered to say the least...
       i have no moral suggestion
at this point...
   i'm into catching moths with my
bare hands...
               i'm just trying to think
what sort of face i'd pull
when talking with someone
who hasn't
appropriated the jest of
a *******'s worth...
         there's still the minding
of the second-layer of genitals...
   it's almost ****, had i tried,
but i haven't, but it must feel just
the same...
        penetrating a vegan-jain-n'ah...
with a ******* trying to
speed things up    Λ
                       index    middle
         fingers, working their "magic"...
pretty pretty p'ooh,
                     i'm choking my **** by
pulling my ******* back...
i'm imitating circumcision...
           you're goon'ah 'av'
                                      to try 'arder!
         why do brothels always
have the perfume of bourbon
infusing them to solidifying
     a memory, unlike anything other
than blooming flowers
  in the evening, of spring?
           it's the anti-thesis of
b &  b (bed & breakfast) -
                    brothels & bourbon...
with all that ****,
america is softcore in terms
of ***... you celebrate strip-clubs,
but you don't celebrate brothels...
  you know what a strip-club looks
like in greece?
   a stripper places a green plastic
tag next to your drink...
   it's the green "light" to go ahead,
and head for a private audience...
            european strippers are like:
who the **** bothers with so much
tease but no action, if not
mid-western goodie-good-shoe girls
equivalent to those
with men having a fetish for dorothy?
that's borderline ****** prone dynamics...
i love recycling, i actually
love taking out the trash...
    only yesterday i was squashing
6 maggots in a napkin...
                   a woman that only
likes to tease, or wears the burqa
of a strip-tease?
             listen... i'd rather **** 6 maggots
while taking out the trash,
   wishing i could have impaled them
on a fishing hook, and caught myself
some dinner...
                   saying that,
america seems backwards...
  it's all tease... but no action...
                    get mauled by a ******,
   **** the gaping and gasping and
   pervert insinuating: look but don't touch...
this isn't a ******* art gallery,
   this isn't a church, or a temple...
            i have ten eyes at my finger-tips,
i'd love to use the eye down south
rather than feel infuriated by the two
in my cranium...
                           with all that ****,
it's almost asking for an al capone in terms
of selling fleshy cushions and duvets...
   to me america will always be the
first to have the nuclear weapon,
be always the second to send
a man into space
(slavs chose a dog
   germans chose a monkey,
       tells you a lot
about the collective psi;
   i'd have sent a baby elephant)...
    the first & only idiots to ban
   alcohol...
      and yes, i agree, it's great,
but whatever music and film
   they produce,
i can't have a high opinion
of them...
   i know i should...
   but if i was living in that tornado-ridden
mass of land,
         i'd be in the middle...
in the "boring" places...
                         or at least that's
how i imagine myself living...
         away from the schizoid
export of twins americana
                      n.y.              vs.               l.a.;
i met a mongolian in amsterdam
once...
           i was looking into
the void-eyes of history...
                 i imagine looking into
the eyes of a native of the continent
            to be a likewise telling of: wow!
saying that, a welcome revision -
the more you shame brothels,
and glorify strip-clubs?
   the more **** you're going to produce...
i have absolutely no idea
as to why america is founded upon
strip-clubs... more teasing than actual
muddy waters of juice...
                  the american notion of
strip-clubs before brothels is
very much like the act of prohibition
in my eyes...
                           i hope, hard as ****,
to never visit that puritan continent,
  when a ****** rebellion is always protruding
around every corner...
  where a ****** rebellion,
           can never be a ****** liberation.
Alaynah Sep 2018
Being black
Being LGBTQ
Being muslim
Just being me
Or you just being you

We’re all supposed to be on the same team
At least in my head
But some people are close minded
And want to see some of our teammates dead

Here’s something Jermine Hodge, a young black man said
“I’m just like you
a human
red blood
Emotions
a moving figure
Why should you treat me
Like I’m about to pull the trigger?”

Over the centuries blacks have been discriminated
Because of the color of their skin
Causing a whole population of HUMANS to become sadder
But at the end of the day we all bleed the same color
So why should what’s on the outside even matter?

Being black, that automatically means you deal drugs
And all the homies you hangout with, they’re just a bunch of  thugs
Who play with guns and are thieves
Who gets chicks knocked up with their baby and then just leaves

Black people are the ones who walk around with sagging pants
The ones who get bullied by the police over “suspected suspicion” and not remaining a “proper stance”

If they walk around in the wrong neighborhood it gives that scared white woman a good reason to dial
But really it’s just a good opportunity to flash the blue lights and racially profile.


People say brown kids were born to end war between the two races
But people who are racist at heart, won’t stop their cruel ways
just because they see more brown faces

I don’t experience racism?
That’s what they think
But I’ve gotten called the N word ‘cause
My skin isn’t like milk, it’s kinda like a mixed drink

And being gay? Nope “that’s a sin”
God forbid us to love who WE wanted
but little did he know love always wins

If you’re a man in love with a man,
You’re obsessed with fashion and have a high pitched voice
You see? We didn’t ask you we just insisted without giving any other choice.

And you’re a lesbian if you have tattoos, piercings and short hair
And act like you have nothing to lose
If you are in love with the same gender you don’t love god!
Imagine what it’s like to be in his shoes!

You can’t judge someone because of who they identify as or who they love
If it’s not affecting your life, it’s not something you should be concerned of

Now, Muslims.
I guess they’re all terrorists huh?
But I guess we judge an entire nation of people
Based off of a few unfortunate attacks and call out the whole religion. DUH

If you’re wearing a Burqa or Hijab you get judged and looked at because you’re
an assumed terrorist
Yes 9/11 was a tragic day but we can’t blame all Muslims because of it

People will criticize no matter what
But I can tell you what one of society’s errors is
The muslim that sleeps in my house every single night
IS NOT A ******* TERRORIST

White people get looked at as the racists ones
But I can tell you that this stereotype isn’t true
Because my white mom has many brown daughters and sons
And my white grandmother on my dads side has 21 children 18  of them being adopted black kids, she took them all in because they were so beautiful and held her heart captive.

Negrophobia, Xenophobia, Homophobia, and Racism
These are all made up things for glamorizing human criticism.

The point of this poem was to debunk what stereotypes do
Also to remember never let lies and other people’s beliefs stop you from being unapologetically you
Marieta Maglas Aug 2013
piercing the veil of her tears

a burqa

the secret of her smile

hidden

the yellow of the sun growing

in her eyes of night

in search of

her black sun

blindness

busted being her dream

dreaming about something busted

her soul

and her watch

for icy dreams

penetrating the eye of mind

a talking blindness

yellowing her secret

growing

in flames

happiness

as a smiling sun

or flaming curves

gestures imitating curve words

flamboyant gestures

folks

flaming talk

piercing the veil of her tears

August 21, 2013
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2016
has anyone said anything to the LGBT movement that,
ahem, it is also a pronoun? i can't believe people are
getting dragged into:
                a. not only being taught
a secondary vocabulary that's "political", well, let's just
say democratically fascist - but that
b. a theological argument
based solely in the pronoun category is pointless -
i know point b. isn't really big,
or relevant, and to think
that St. Thomas' gospel once rejected
by the Church came back and
reigned in so much havoc that
it could have sparked the Syrian
civil war, and in general:
well... better edit Jesus from the bible...
at first it was the imitation of
the Kippah and the Tonsure -
in between the peacock and the pig,
religion resides - how you juggle
that field is up to you...
i tend you approach it as: well, whatever.
but this is really the best to be alive,
you can laugh in the night like you'd
never imagine laughing before -
i mean - who the hell would think
it wise to attack someone who sees
grammar use and wonders: but that's
also a pronoun, the changed Freudian
that (scalpel probing utility), later
popularised as it - or the complete
objectification of unit, aliases involve:
thought, self, personality, character, etc. -
well it's catching on like a ******* virus,
this unearthed grail of the Egyptian
desert - yes, they did travel to Egypt,
and look what came back...
perfectly fits Josephus' account of things,
which is literally two sentences
including the words: Mt. of Olives insurrection
deposit - i'm literally showing the easier
way out... most people took it too literally...
the existence of demons turned allegorical
altogether, but the existence of the words
inscribed as: make the outer the inner,
and the male the female: just shows you a lack
of both grammatical knowledge, and
poetic knowledge - the literal approach throws
you into the maggot pit of bullock -
and that's how it's going to say...
people took it too literally, that's the first
wave... taken as a sign of guilt from
a colonial past - they call the Visegrad
the new goose-stepping surgeons of thought,
this idea of a free and open society
has no boots on the ground in Anglophile
society - they fake being arrogant by
being courteous - being courteous is a sublime
version of feeling one owns a moral
superiority, which one doesn't...
and can you actually imagine yourself
being dragged through the filth of a discussion
concern pronouns? learn to build up a
subconscious of pure grammar association...
the unconscious, who Jung discovered
to be a hive you can't control,
i once suggested the idea that the collective
unconscious would resemble a society
where plumbers didn't know they were plumbers,
and no one knew what they were doing,
but incorporating the individual i see
the point of finally rationalising the individual
via the collective toward the unconscious -
the great free ***** debate -
primarily though, the particular use of language
will never reach a universal use of language
that isn't fragmented into a pseudo-arithmetic
of grammar - but it would do you a greater
good to endorse and implant grammar spectacle
to see past the fluidity of casual language use,
i.e. spot the ****** debate and say: hyphen!
down the middle! it! after all, we were children
once, and we played the game: you're it!
and ensure there's laconic appropriation while
people become forceful addicts of the flesh
to provide the weight to the categorised words
due to their change, and you're all airy fairy
with just the worded explanation,
still with the required genitalia and 2 billion Chinese;
but it's true though, look how horrified
the church is... the old geezers are not getting it,
they left the Egyptian shepherd unleash hell
on both Christianity and Islam...
the revision of the kippah was the monkish
tonsure - but this bit about ***-changes?
once again, blow-bubbles-through-your-lips
by motorising them and move your index finger
up and down... hey presto! a mongolian harmonica -
i can't believe so much intelligence was wasted,
and so much incorporated, and so much lost,
over a piece of skin that wasn't even categorised
as cartilage - it's a joke, right?
well, if it ain't, why the **** am i laughing?
if you learn grammatical categorisation of words,
you learn the insulating method of using language,
if whatever is offensive, becomes inoffensive,
someone will spend a whole life arguing the
transition from she                   into                 he,
with the haircuts and other adjustments,
while you'll be there, calling it neither he or she
(the end and the original result), but call
the individual accepting the transition by
the act of transition - incorporating the past
and the future via the transition period,
it! that's the laws of grammar, grammar in
psychological terms is the subconscious:
Freud tapped into the unconscious with dreams,
i managed to censor dreaming and sleep,
hence i tapped into the subconscious by
exposing grammar as, well, yeah: subverted language:
or language submerged by universal laws -
               in context you can understand
everything i write, in content? probably not -
again the boiling point is not 100°C - it's
universals and particulars - that's the 100°C of language -
via the thesaurus you get similar d.n.a. strands
(i just hallucinated a smiling face, but not too vivid) -
i.e. via synonyms and worded cleansing of antonyms
   off the respective suggestion as zenith-conundrum
                                                                               of Socrates:
       if something is universal it's evolved or translated
   into context - the context? using the alphabet and
words... (time references to coordination aren't necessary,
   well, something has to be unanimously expressed
  even if via dyslexia) -
                    what's particular is what's rigid in terms
of evolutionary adaptation - verbiage, i know!
   inescapable! what should i do? gauge my eyes out?!
again, dittoed paraphrase, shortened self-plagiarism:
     if something is particular it's independent or non-reciprocatory
  within boundaries of context-out-of-context: content,
   which means a b c d e f g... but arranged to a self-proclaimed
deviation (let's call prefixing the self- to a word provides
    the whole mechanism of deviating non-universal
automation, mildly put: eccentricity) -
                  in summary, you ever wonder what's
related between the list of phobias such as arachnophobia
and xenophobia? apparently the term Islamophobia
was translated into Greek as: god is one, and Muhammad
is his test subject... the sum of all little fears -
         oddly enough phobias are spontaneous and are
rarely instilled, they're lightning strikes...
i see a big spider, i recoil - it's not a permanent setting -
i stand on a ladder 3 metres off the ground, sure:
acrophobia -                    i sit in a crowded tube train,
yet again: claustrophobia - but these phobias are
a sort of antidote to the maxim: the thing to fear is
fear itself... phobias are reflex reactions to being conscious,
how people managed to translate them into reflections
is beyond me... i happen to come across phobias
all the time... but in a reflexive way: a ****, a spontaneity
surrounding them... there's nothing to be reflective about...
it's not even a phobia when i tell you a similar
reaction: suburban street at night, beer, cigarette,
walking, eyes not concentrating on anything...
~suddenly two women sitting on a low cement fence
in front of their houses startles me... the immediate
reaction is a nervous shock... who the **** would
think of that as being a phobia worthy a category?
no one. which is why i don't understand
the concept of Islamophobia... it's weird...
i don't get the same nervous sudden **** of seeing
something that isn't supposed to be there
when i walk down Oxford street and see a Burqa-clad
woman... whoever invented this word,
had a really ****** time at school and transcended
all laws of etymological construction:
i.e. on basis of really claustrophobic syllable constructs,
Islam is way beyond syllables, it's a noun,
as if the suffix / affix phobia - or little fear,
no, not sigma fear, fractional fear.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
. i'm not against psychedelics... ****... syringe in excesses of LSD... but memory is also a psychedelic drug... albeit there is no excess of colors, and it's not b & w, but sepia tinged... i like the notion of a sepia curtain... maybe that's why i have my head ******* on so tight, and a hardened heart, to be able to write this... while others write, having drunk as much as i have, like kindergarten 5 year old, children!

i'm not here for the 80+ years that don't matter,
lying lethargic, semi-conscious,
demented, in a care home bed
where i'm abused for ******* my nappies...
i'm here...
   for the 16 or so years that really matter...
hence?
   i like to watch the metamorphosis of skin...
i never understood women who
cut and wait for some"magical" revelation
of internalized pain...
   those four stumps worth of knuckles
upon which i exhausted the amber of
a cigarette burning?
   second look?
      nice to see the many layers of skins,
prior to, and not including the bone...
     liver damage, whatever, bring it on...
i'm waiting...
  i can't, but i'm hoping...
to sow unto my skin the faint tincture
of a gangrene tattoo to
boast ink in Frankenstein green...
mingling with tongue numbing
yuck of bruise plum, and a dash of
Vishnu blue...
       oh i'm waiting: i can't wait...
   death is such a farce:
like i explained to my mother...
  you know... sometimes you're after
the pain: since you've reprogrammed
yourself, to enjoy it...
                  no, no *****-whipping
wimp diarrhea -
   i want the "furry" liver...
              i'm waiting, and i'm waiting...
and...
            nose-bleeds are past my worries...
i've had one in school, during
english class...
    no problem...
  can you believe it?
my neighbor's cat, Bella,
an albino climbed roofs, climbed into
chimneys...
   was knocked by a car,
presumably...
               and is in need of an operation,
might have one of her hind legs
amputated...
but she's also anemic...
so she might die during the operation...
poor ******, she...
                    heterochromic to boot...
      the sort of beast, which,
if being a Saudi Sheikh...
you'd love to put an Afghani burqa
over...
            Fonz... eeeeeeeeeee...
why bother with a counter argument?
the European variant of the niqab is
already in place...
sorry... the women you see in movies
or *****? ever see the same quality
shopping for underwear?
      not once...
                 it's such a sad little world
out there, jealous men...
who can't afford keeping
            castrato men for their, "harems",
and, evidently, don't poke enough
****** to keep the concubines entertained,
whole strap-on ******?
well... they're just strap-on ******...
ha ha!
                  ha ha ha ha!
        oh sure, i'm a loser, honey bee...
point being: i much prefer the company
of whiskey to that of a woman...
oops... did i say something, sheepish,
i.e. b'aah b'aah b'aad?!
   couldn't figure out the stuttering A
in diacritical markings...
since there isn't one...

   as i asked my Jewish convert into Islam...
i don't mind the Quran...
but what's your opinion on the, Hadith?
no answer... dumb look...
akin to: how do you know about that?
it's my eight's in a row right
to know what i consider, hostile.

         well, given that in Hindu...
the H... is a surd, rather than an authentic letter...
e.g.? dhaal...           that veggie
curry made from lentils?
there's no H in the name...
it's not a letter... it's an orthographic
inclusion of: consonant (d), surd (h)
                      vowel(s) (a, a), consonant (L)...
unless you of course deduce
there being a microcosm of the macron
hovering about one of the A,
deducing the other A is not necessary...
i drink...
because my excuse rests on the argument:
i'm not here for the 80+ years,
a life filled with an exhausted memory
bank,
    that is of no use
when it doesn't allow itself an
immediacy of convergence in
    what bicycles are founded upon:
teeth and chain, overlapping...
immediacy of overlapping -
memory... that alternative to psychedelic drugs...
some people take this over-bountiful
drugs to exemplify colors,
hyper-inflate them...
i just remember,
   and i know what memory is,
compared to the educational rubric
of, say, learning the Pythagorean equation,
how modern schooling is...
primarily?
   a memory erosion tool,
of a personal life, but more esp.,
  a childhood...
                  you want a drug more
potent than the Amsterdam legal mushroom?
RE-MEM-BER.
               like i said:
i can do what others won't do in
80 years... i can be content with
the zenith of doing what i do,
within a space of what excess drinking
allows me...
      the rest?
   either nostalgia... or regret;
i don't have the time preference to entertain
either...
esp. if what awaits me is
a sober case of dementia,
   and bedsores (odleżyny)...
             but sure, **** me,
go for it!
                   i pray to god that i managed
to fulfill my "evil genius" plan,
of drinking myself to death...
**** it... i have to match the sensible
life expectancy of the poorest of
the poorest African nations...
    don't really feel like living up
to the European turtle, neck,
demands for glorifying medicinal advancements.
Kaith Karishma Dec 2017
It’s not a surprise.
It’s terrible but
it’s not a surprise.
Shooting, screaming, scattering, shattering,
it’s not a surprise.
I imagine but don’t understand.
White person mental illness,
illness…
Illness,
it’s called.
He was a poor, lonely, old man whose dog just died,
so he decided
to shoot up a crowd,
and **** and hurt hundreds of people.
Because of his illness.
But just listen.
Listen.
Listen:
you’re calling him ill but he’s really just mad.
There is no kindness in him if he can go **** all those people
and not even blink.
He may have offered you a handkerchief
when you were crying,
but then he goes off and kills,
and kills,
and kills,
and the kindness in him is warped, destroyed -
lost
the second he decides to
shoot,
shoot,
shoot.
Terrorists we fear -
walking down the street with a burqa draped over.
Terrorists we fear -
flying as second class citizens because of our terror.
Terrorists we fear -
speaking in a language we don’t understand.
They’re not the terrorists we should fear.
If the white terrorist is ill, then the US is plagued.
One
after another,
after another
**** us, and we still do nothing.
Nothing.
NOTHING.
We go around the world “fixing” and “helping”,
ruining lives and terrorizing,
because that’s what we are: terrorists.
Terrorists.
Terrorists.
We want to fix the world? We can’t even help ourselves.
We the people are broken.
Who’s gonna fix us?
Javaria Waseem May 2017
For all those men who think they can understand how it feels to be a girl,
You can’t.

You can’t understand how it feels to open your eyes in the world
With everyone looking down on you and your mother
Because they were expecting a boy and not a girl.
You can’t understand how it feels to be raised up differently than boys
Because boys will be boys
And girls, girls will always have to compromise and sacrifice
For every man to enter their lives.
You can’t understand how it feels to see boys running around, chasing their dreams
While girls are stuck with barbie dolls and fairness creams
And how they are trained to sit and stand and talk and eat
And oh, my God, girls keep your voices down
The society should not even hear you breathe.

You can’t understand how it feels when a girl is growing up
While she is considered as a toy by men around her
For all the ****** frustration
Did I say something wrong? I meant “for all the love and affection”
When he comes up and says
Oh, little one, don’t be scared, I am your uncle
And we are going to play a little game
It’s called you keeping your mouth shut and not calling it a ****.
You can’t understand how it feels to have a pair of eyes on you all the time
Whether you’re in your home or out in the streets.
There are men all around, staring you, tracing your body
As if it is their responsibility to check out every girl entirely
From head to toe, whether she’s in a burqa or a pair of jeans.
You can’t understand how it feels to carry the weight of all the honor
On tiny shoulders, which are supposed to be carrying school bags
Honor of your family, your community, the society
Even protecting the honor of men with fragile masculinity
Wrapping it all in duppatas longer than their *****
While hiding your own identity behind the tags that you’re given.
You don’t know how it feels to live a life designed by men
Making every single move based on someone’s decisions
Like a lion in a circus performing tricks to please an audience.
You can’t understand how it feels to listen to all the filthy jokes they crack
About girls getting better grades or washing dishes or driving in the fast lane
No matter what a girl does, no matter how much she gets successful
At the end of the day, it is all a joke on the dinner table.
“Go bring another gol roti, beghum”
You can’t understand how it feels to carry another life inside your body for nine months
Enduring all the pain and cramps and still doing all the work
While all you hear is how it is a woman’s job to give birth
And oh, to make sure that it is a baby boy
As if a woman has the choice to choose the gender.
You can’t understand how it feels when after all the struggle they tell you it’s a baby girl
Your heart fills up with joy and sinks down in your stomach
When you think about the fate that awaits her.
And you hold her close to your chest, trying your best to protect her
From all the people looking down on you and your daughter
For being a girl.


So, you can’t. You can’t understand how it feels to be a girl.
Because if you did, you would have wished
For it all to be just words.
Tawanda Mulalu Feb 2015
He lingered on in the cold,
her voice to his ear;
saving him
from the frostbite of a lonely earth.

All on her own,
all on that phone,
he heard her soft and
held out to reach her
against the bitter cough
of nature’s cold.

His heart his mind it
beats of it,
thinks of it;
them.
And therefore it,
because of it;

he speaks to sleep then.
This one's an oldie.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
what could possibly be a logical joke,
akin to: 1 + 1 = 2... ha ha! type?
i can't think of logical joke,
comedy is beyond being calculated,
it can be properly
  executed within the realm
of punctuation a drop-line...
  but that's about as far as logic
centers around comedy...
   only recently i revealed
that i am arachnophobic...
   (rob zombie - the girl who loved
the monsters)...
           i am... i see a spider
the size of a thumb...
     i'm like: jeez! get that thing
away from me!
you know how comedy exists
in logic?
             it exists in phobias...
given that phobias are illogical...
well... that's still the antonym of
logic...
  yes... i know the spider
is only the size of my thumb...
but phobias... ha ha!
there's something obvious about
the joke of phobias,
as there's also an ontology binding
them...
  arachnophobia? is spontaneous,
it's a reflex reaction...
  and that's the logical joke...
the illogical fear...
   funny... really funny...
this progressive term...
what is it... hmm...
oh!
    right!
     - this really comes as a reiteration...
how can i be, "islamophobic"?
where's the reflexive reaction
upon seeing a Muslim in full
religious attire?
where's the principle of phobia
being acted on?
the reflex reaction?
where is...
phobias are the jokes of logic,
and the comedy of logic is:
that they summon illogical
reactions to the altar of relativism...
ergo... if i'm scared of
a thumb sized spider in the shed,
i should be scared of my thumbs...
islamophobia is such a made-up
word...
what logic is logic to me,
behind the spider?
            em... i'm trying to tickle
& trickle god into all of this...
but i can't...
what sort of logic is behind
the spider?
   a spider, like all animate beings...
well... even trees are animate...
in slow-motion (phototropism)...
what logic is there?
there is no logic to them...
they are purely empirical reactionaries...
there's no logic,
because there's no consciousness
of thought,
the senses are too inclusive
of themselves,
to allow an exclusivity that
might make their being
impregnated with thinking,
fertile with thought...
ah... i see the joke...
my phobia is funny...
  but...
   ha ha...
    you want to experience
a fear of god?
          find your phobia...
sure, the spider has no knowledge
of logic, but whatever "created"
the spider has placed an irrational
fear of the spider, and lodged
it into my general standard
of logic...
i see the fear of god in a spider,
as i also see the comedy...
phobias are categorized by
irrational reflexes,
   they are a set of cognitive reflexes...
so... why is the term islamophobia
so bogus?
what... you think that when
i see a woman in a burqa
my "natural" reaction is:
a reflex, 'kin to the words:
  oh ****! a suicide bomber!
NO!
     this term is what the ancient
Greeks would call:
what the **** are you talking about?!
(said really quickly).
- but that's the nature
of phobias... and the nature
of the comedy of logic...
it is derived from phobias...
i can acknowledge the comedy
of being "afraid" of spiders...
not all...
   it's not exactly a fear...
it's not a disgust...
it's a reflex reaction i have
inherited...
       from god knows where...
  you can't associate Islam with
an attache of: phobia...
like i said... a phobia is the joke
of my own logical conclusion...
i'm laughing at the illogical
premise... my cognitive reflex
and subsequent ****** reaction...
since there is no logic
behind a spider,
only the illogical pure empirical
functioning of the being...
and... past the "illogical"
nature of the spider -
the logic of a "god"...
    **** contemplating god
using the spider,
and, "the architect" reflected
in the spiderweb...
i'm going after the joke...
but... Islam as a phobia?
last time i heard...
Islam wasn't illogical...
it was just a logic different
to my own...
so... where's the joke?
where's the grand phobic
reflexive stand?
   i'm like the ancient Greeks...
what the **** are you talking
about
   (said really quickly)...
it's no phobia to be apprehensive,
precautionary,
anticipatory...
        a bit like...
ha!
          heating up oil in a frying
pan... and the moment
just before you drop in the potato
chips one by one...
wondering...
   has the water been properly
drained from them?
or hasn't it...
and the oil will go crazy?
that's not a phobia...
   a phobia is the comedy of logic;
but Islam is a logic
of its own kind...
  a phobia is trans-national /
  trans-ethnic, trans-gender, trans per se,
universal...
     so why do i not retract
with a reflex upon seeing a Muslim
in his religious attire?
like i would with a spider
in a shed the size of my thumb?
so... what Islamo-phobia?
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2019
.                                                    rarely...
but it does happen...
a cat will encounter you
going up the stairs
in the middle
of the night,
with a fresh batch of
ice-cubes,
   and it will attach yourself
to a medium of attention,
it will ballerina side-step
an 8,
    persistent,
looking for the strong aspect
of your hand,
burrowing its head into it,
no, it's not looking for your knuckles,
not the tip of your fingers,
but the cusp...
so you play with it for some time,
before you decide: "bored",
and hyena grip the poor thing
in the midst of its staged
performance...
you take it into your bedroom,
clear the bed, place her in it,
put on some ola gjeilo
for her, while you're still strapped
to the headphone listening
to some dikanda;
what could a cat actually
want from a drunkard?
maybe i respect her exercise
of freedom,
maybe: cats can teach a man
to not become overtly
attached to a "concept" of
                  progeny?
this **** is rare...
what? this feline show of
needing attention...
how i've come to adore cats...
bypassing the basic clues
of dogs,
the whole concern for a leash...
when an animal comes to you,
and asks to be petted,
when it's no longer a
primordial base,
  a bonsai variety of a tiger...
then you fake petting it...
it does it's 8 swirl...
shape akin to a standing
infinity...
   i wonder...
  how far apart is
the hyphen (-)
   from a lemniscate (∞)?
i'll tell you:
pet a cat prior,
pet a cat that wants /
implores you to pet it...
   but it just kept nudging my petting
hand, kept burrowing itself
in finding the cusp...
  it didn't want the fingertips,
it didn't want the knuckles...
what a rare occassion,
when,
   i would never, ever have
praise for dog ownership...
this, completed
variation of my own freedom...
maybe that's what i devalued
the ownership of dogs...
the leash put me off...
this dog-ownership
ownership consistency...
akin to parenthood
  of not being to allow
the a priori testimony /
expression of inherent freedom...

for all the sins of Muhammad...
i believe that i should
believe that...
the only judgement comes
in the form of khadija **** khuwaylid:
a woman 25 years his senior,
a literate woman...
  who wrote the first
verses of the quran...
if not khadija?
            
     to me... khadija wrote the first
verses of the quran...
if not more than half of them...
god has nothing to do with
this prominent individual,
muhammad died,
and will be judged by khadija...

after all... "the miracle"
of the existence of the quran...
last time i heard...
muhammad was illiterate...
he didn't write these verses...
so, who did?
my guess is...
a woman wrote it...
                                         khadija...
last time i heard:
   muhammad was illiterate!
so who wrote the first verses?
****'s sake...
my guess is as good as yours,
but my guess is:
a woman wrote the quran...
some would claim
the quran is nothing short of
the stephen vizinczey
novel: any woman 25 years
my senior....
   who managed to write a book
for me?

  one compliment to muhammad...
if those were genuine
hallucinations,
  and they rhymed in arabic...
great, having remembered them...
and allowing them access to
the writtten word,
   walking back from the cave
                           of meditation...

but, then of course...
  the "laissez faire" of theology,
   and the monopoly of monotheistic
revisionism...
   the: "enzyme" approach...
instigator, praise...
whatever you want to call it...

muhammad was illiterate...
so who wrote the first surahs...
if not the literate first wife
of muhammad, khadija **** khuwaylid?
no wonder...
   no wonder...
you know what tsar ivan
did to the architect
   of the st. basil cathedral,
postnik yakovlev?
he gauged out his eyes,
saying:
   you will not see anything more
beautiful in this world...
muhammad?
   when it came to khadija **** khuwaylid?
he didn't have the *****,
to do what he would do to his
subsequent victims...
i'm still trying to imagine
khadija **** khuwaylid in a burqa...
or a niqab...
a bit like what ivan IV
did to postnik yakovlev
after the st. basil cathedral
                              was completed...

who wrote the first verses of
the quran? a woman did...
            khadija **** khuwaylid...
and if she lived long enough...
she would have suffered
the same fate of  
                     postnik yakovlev...
surely not blinded,
but coerced into donning
a niqab.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2017
concerning an article in the sunday times, titled baited, 13 - 16 year old girls, a mix of cyberbullying, revenge **** & creepshots... ah... here comes lady burqa, to set the standard of civilised behaviour... now... i can't agree that islamophobia exists... but sure-**** i can testify to a burqa-phobia... hell! i can even attest to a niqab-phobia, and to be honest... that, that is a reasonable phobia... let's use the proper terms, please! anyway... regarding this baiting... oh man, these ***** ought to have known better, as those taking the selfies... why? because i'm starting to think that people take more photographs, than actually blink with their eyes... whatever happened to the mirror?

some people strive for ambitious lives,
   head over heels types,
    the ones in microcosmos of
their own ***...
    me? i, just, want, my, life,
to represent, the lazy consistency
of a sunday...
          for my life to be as busy as...
                                      sunday traffic;
it's not a self-doubt that's plaguing me,
i'm not an automaton yet,
             but with that i wonder:
   if they have all the hormones and
chemical compounds excavated
to represent *love
, which ones are
         the ones to represent doubt?
doubt? oh, those minor "panic-attacks",
the fun bits of being alive
   living inside the dynamism
                                  of uncertainity...
i was ambitious once - now?
        well, i know i stop enjoying
   fiendish sudoku puzzles, and rest
my case on the difficult tier...
                there's no point striving:
if you don't enjoy it -
    as harsh as it might sound -
         poetry will always speak to me in
the tongue of impromptu -
    with eyes of lightning flashes -
as long as it remains in this state -
  i'll be content -
   i can't imagine a novel,
the tedium of it, the constipation -
the rewriting, the 2 to 3 years -
with the only merit attached to a novel
is solely based on how long
it took to be written...
               constipated / frustrated
novelists, i can image...
                    on the other hand...
it's quiet easy to imagine ******
snowflake poets too.
Tiffany Case Apr 2011
Vibrant antebellum
In the city streets saturates the air
And pulls the attention of children
From the gutters everywhere

Aftermath, aftershock, after the end
Syndrome X inside a plastic cup
Bellicose cries from bleeding sores of media
Shrouded with burqa shadows as a necessary anesthesia

Where is the city and where is the state?
Invisible numbers counted with ink stained thumbs
Delicate piano sound, pale girl fingers
The scent of your fatigue still lingers

I’ve seen many beautiful things
One day, I’ll remember what they are
But for now their faces are stretched like plastic bags
Bound to tear at the bottom and eventually sag
c quirino Dec 2010
and then we were us,
with ten fingers,
equal toes, two kidneys
and our souls,
so blessed and tan
from their sojourn
through eternity.

but you may not recognize "me,"
from underneath my burqa, my crinoline,
my mantilla,
my zoot suit or naval uniform.

my hair shorn-sheep-short,
or be it 10-foot-Marie-Antoinette-tall,
there, still, do I lie,

where once we passed, there again I will be,
and with hushed whispers will my lips part,
as they have for generations,
"how have you been? I missed you."
Nadia Dec 2013
I could tell whoopers and get you in trouble
or take a lover and run off to Europe, Asia or
Africa where you, mom and gold digger can't find me.
Got some nibbles on the net when I placed an ad
seeking someone to take me away from this
miserable existence I call my no fairy tale life.
I could travel incognito and wear a Burqa in a far
off place where you can't come unless you leave
***** at home wearing shorts up to her parts
that are half covered by tight and short teenager
clothes she still wears to keep you from looking
at all the ladies on facebook you still friend and
chat with behind her back. That would make your
gold digging ****** if she knew what you did
when she wasn't logged to facebook. She thinks she
got you tied to her for eternity and for ever more.
Look at me and mom evil *****! He was mom's and
now you think he's yours. I'm glad I'm 18 and can
live where ever I want. I found a way to get out of the
country when I get my passport I ordered in a few
weeks. It will be bye bye dad, *****, and baby
sibling I dad never told me about forever. BUT,
I think I will miss my mother even if she is
dumb and believed her life was a fairy tale
then she found out dad the freaking loser was
cheating.
Ronald Jones Mar 2017
The Muslim woman is perhaps
the most enticing female on the planet
with her hijab (head covering)
her burqa (outer garment enveloping most of her body)
her niqa (total veil)
Such strict apparel floods our mind with curiosity and fantasies about what is so hidden
Hence the covered Muslim woman is  a reenactment of every woman's beauty, power and numinosity
a veiled vision that inscribes itself across our mind
and inescapably through our libido
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2016
after seeing a dutch boy spit in a polish girl's face because of a friendly conversation, i don't need some Irish telling me what to say apart from I.R.A. in the skip of the other recyclables.*

as books go, we can speak all we want on the
colour of defeat -
you can make a Lenin-firecracker from any man,
any man a killer -
the revival of the Holy Roman Empire simply
moved slightly to the east - it already looks like that -
if the French far right think the exit of Britain
was a favourable scenario, well, it doesn't have
the Algerian philosopher Camus to care -
former colonial nations undermined the European
project - too much suntan from India and the
Caribbean - Germany wasn't a colonial nation,
Italy was a joke in Ethiopia - a joke that morphed
into reggae - it was never going to be stable,
times changed, the Hungarians forgot the Austrians,
if they thought a British exit was the broker piece
they found the economic stronghold
in Frankfurt a week later - past colonialists
an equilateral respect for each European neighbour -
apart from the English channel the English chose -
i admire Voltaire's theism, but not his liking
for the sausage and oily stigma -
accept post-colonial subjects, discriminate against
fellow Europeans - join the "shoot a ******" saga
of America - former colonial nations destroyed
the European Union dreams, they found no *******
in the Baltic region, to their grievance...
what a loss! no gold! only flint and salt mines!
and the question still hangs about:
who will pick the strawberries in July in England?
the benefit billionaires? the wet shave heiresses?
what about the Brazilian bikini wax?
get more Irish in? will Ms. Burqa of Sudan
take out an umbrella and roll up her sleeves to pick 'um?
is Hajj tourism adequate to see a stampede outside
of Pamplona? i mean, it's a revision of the
British "go home" Empire... you wonder how many
times the pumpernickel fairy heard that one -
and there was the gingerbread man breaking a leg
to claim benefits as a dyslexic diabetic saying: i can't go on...
i can't go on... make this slice of cake a discus throw
into itemising a respectable calorie intake, 'cos i think
i sat on a guitar that was debited into a loan -
a man ended up paying for a broken guitar without
a Bon Jovi singalong - oi oi uncle Ben's quinoa salmon
healthy food in the hood and McHappy bottom's-up -
colonial nations and identifiers as such made the European
project a one of bereavement - unnaturally racist,
unnaturally with white v. white and the incubator of
their former whips turned into whipping of tongues -
the Jews have left Poland, they have left Europe -
time for the old alliances to be constructed -
and i wonder, what internal alliance will be made
from former colonial masters and former colonial slaves -
if the "placebo" to be ingested is current America... well,
not much to go around.
Ziyad Ali Jan 2019
Like anyone else, she dreamed high
But what could she do with herself chained.
She hoped someone, would see he cry
But under the veil who knew she pained
Mateuš Conrad May 2016
i've actually reached a zenith of my use of language, the overstated early use of humour... paradoxically it's also a nadir of language, foremost i blame it on psychological emphasis of certain words without clear grammatical patterns of casual interference / usage, which stemmed from philosophy's avoidance of grammatical words as useful short cuts... and poetic laconic shoving near millimetre associations kindred of the synonymous categorical: dog, cat, tree, fig, apple... nouns. i have a reached a limit having attempted to create a geometry with a- (indefinite / without "articulation" / existence / or simply pluralism) and the (definite articulation / existence / or simply monotheism, index finger pointing), and the prefix in-, ascribed to an illogical categorisation of infinity and infinitude as inclusive nouns... where the former attracts the indefinite article, and the later attracts the definite article, most commonly example with stars, space, time and insects, but not man: e.g. ever hear of a famous bee named Newton? no, me neither. i just noticed that poetry over-philosophised itself by using grammatical terms in that near-synonymousness of d'uh and that philosophy avoided using these grammatical terms of categorisation, fearing a demented disintegration of casual speech, as near to quantum physics as language of humanities could be approached with: the disappearing act of hope (noun, +) and reappearance of it as hopelessness (adjective, although still ~noun, therefore still +), meaning being hopeless (verb, although ~adjective, and now attached to dark matter - / negative): hence the many sensitivities over crude vocabulary, hence the kept church Latin and the lost humour of ****** Latin.*

e.g.

newspapers are depressing, i know, on pages 34 & 35
there's a picture of an orang utan posing in an
auguste rodin pose of the thinker: eyes close together never
ageing of a Down Syndrome Dorian Grey,
hairstyle of an Elton John, though: headlines surroudning
the picture read things stuff that horror movies are
not intelligent to reveal, i.e. mob rule; horror movies treat
the individual as the ultimate menace, they never care
to make cinematic eloquences with individual's
shadow, of those around him: Jesus herding his sheep
who's prime expression is ****** white hands drenched
in blood unable to doubt, therefore only able to deny,
and what a poverty of lying ingenuity
denial is... one man tennis hitting a brick wall...
people reserve more doubt at having hit a tennis ball
against a wall than  denying it... doubt is a
dual-carriageway... so much self in doubt among
others than there is self-consciousness in denial
among others... denial is a cul de sac alley...
the mirror wished to remain hidden for fear
of realisation... denial is a faking of innocence /
         doubt is a faking of knowledge -
childish-like later: oh! misinformation corrected!
like electrons not having orbits but existing in
quantum clouds! former high-school teaching,
later university teaching! born 1952, died 1989:
now you see me, now you don't, electron-quick
hands of magicians. but... but... but
you can't deny both infinitudes (limits)
of your unitary vector (ego)...
sure you can deny the infinitude (algebraic
pinpoint 1) and deny the finitude (algebraic
pinpoint 2), but you can't deny two infinitudes,
i.e. you're either god or nothing...
as you can't deny two finitudes,
i.e. you're either memorable or worth forgetting;
nor can you deny an infinitude and doubt
the finitude - although you deny the finitude
with a chance excavation of infinitude as an
example o... Finnegans Wake does that to you...
hence the common stance is denying;
imagine the Cartesian equation plagued by denial,
i deny, therefore i'm not...
my writing will not reach popular appeal because
it wishes to not disturb, not not uproot a perfectly
happy man from a simple method he can perfect
and challenge genius over a complex method
which it can only imperfect.
i'm not going to forgive the nature of my 26 surds
kept in the optic with the double-surd of H in language
spoken, but your critique of my cognitive use of language,
which is purely optic and not in the least care phonetic
belongs to me, i know my conversational language
where i disengage from having to engage with all
the pronouns, as existentialism proved itself pedantic to
be defining itself by, using all pronouns to "ditto" out
the one single pronoun, simply the ego, and therefore
to produce f(denial) = "ego"; f(x)
  h
     x
        h
                             function of two truths
                             f(x) = "ego" or Freudian theory
                                        of blame it on the superego
                                        or blame it on the id...
what, matchsticks not good enough for your arabic
complications?! you got oil, i have wood,
stop coming to europe for the summer to burn
rather than spend your precious oil! FRY *******!
FRY LIKE AN AUSTRALIAN BARBECUE DERBY
OF BARBIE STUCK IN A BURQA!
Jonny Angel Aug 2014
Strange spells wafted
through the marketplace,
a mixture of sweat,
manure & spices,
it was too weird.
The shopkeepers seemed edgy,
their black eyes darted
around like water bugs
driving hovercrafts.
A baker sold
outdated batteries
& fixed junk cars.
There were jars
of unknown
foodstuffs
behind the counter.
I wasn't buying ****,
just looking around
without making sounds,
Jesus, it was rough.
Bootleg DVD's
were piled sky high
at many of the shops,
along with the Pop CD's.
A burqa'd woman crouched
in an alleyway.
I'm still not sure
what she was doing,
but it didn't look right.
I swear to God,
I'd have never visited this
bizarre bizaar
if it wasn't for this fight,
the war on terror.
Fireflies Jun 2018
He touched her
This random stranger
His rough hands slid up her bare thigh
He wandered higher causing his desire to amplify
She gasped and shuddered
His words making her feel more revolted
She pushed and she ran
Picking her burqa up with her hand
They turned and the spoke
All these women who saw everything as a joke
"She deserved it" one said
For what she was wearing proved just that.
A girl gets ***** and the fault often falls on her. " She was dressed like a ****, she deserved it." No she did not that is not how **** works, people need to learn before accusing the victim.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2017
i remember these two particular catchphrases uttered from english lips in the early 90s: the burqa? satan's postbox; and the other? jesus is coming: look busy.

i have to admit it, jazz sounds so much better,
and i'm sure if i was writing this in
the 20th century, jazz would have abhorred me,
but more so the beatnik poetry-jazz fission,
like some godfather of rap of something -
still jazz sounds better, and even though i was
partially raised on classical music,
point being, when *batman forever
came out,
i didn't buy the soundtrack with U2 on it,
but instead the elliot goldenthal score -
notably for the song fledermausmarschmusik -
times were tough, we still used to play
with action figures and were the puppet-masters
in those days, rather than monochromatic
in smartphone wizardry...
                and i remember this one woman working
in our price asking me whether i was
sure i wanted the classical score of the movie,
rather than the soundtrack: and i said -
well, d'uh!
   but i can't contest for loving classical music
more than jazz, esp. not during these "detox"
weeks... jazz is just that: a cough medicine,
a paracetamol, something akin to beating
egg yokes with some sugar, until a pale canary
foam forms, and then you place it on top
of a black coffee, with some whiskey to boot...
i'll say this, these "detox" weeks are best
done during the autumnal / winter months -
just enough sunshine to make a 32+ hour days
bearable...
           what time is it? almost 3pm?
that's me crossing the 24h threshold of being
constantly awake...
            by the time i hit the whiskey this evening
i'll be heading into the 32nd hour of being
awake, straight...
            but i love these prolonged days,
the sort of days that merge into nights that then
somehow merge into the high octane morning
hours, notably looking at schoolkids pass my
house in school uniform...
         you should have seen this kid (who i was)
and his first time in regent st.'s hamleys...
  it was like a scene from big -
  once he spotted those batman action figures
his cheeks turned into bright luminescent
beetroots...
                   prior to that it was the joy of
playing outdoors, throwing marbles
into a dug hole from the distance of 2 metres,
and there was also the bet: 4 marbles a game,
5 marbles go into the hole and the winner
takes it all...
         and what about plasticine in the game
of kapsle, placed into bottle-caps,
and flicked around in a maze drawn on
       the pavement with chalk?
girls? hopscotch...
                                but we used to gang
up as if the utopian version of the lord of the flies
and head into the woods, and bake us
some tatties in charcoal of a fire...
            we used to look out after each other...
obviously some of the kids from my childhood,
last time i heard: became violent criminals...
but that's beside the point,
  when we were young, it mattered that we
had a group ethos: no one is going to be left
behind... stealing gooseberries -
  that would make these overly sweet sour-sweets
taste like honey drizzle over oats...
but that's the great thing about these "detox"
weeks, i get to experience 32h days,
   half a day, the entire night, and the entirety
of the next day, and about a third of the next night...
even if you asked me how i managed
to stay awake for so long and fail to even
powernap for a quickie 15 minutes,
       i'd probably sooner inquire:
so, what's the secret for those quickies you wild
kids have in the domain of ***...
last time i checked, she just perfected
her ******* before we were breaking up -
she tightened her lips...
        ah, i know the youtube hysteria of:
telling personal things to strangers -
    i get the argument -
  but unlike the medium of youtube - writing
still has the aura of:
as one stranger unto another -
          there's no greater sense of privacy,
as the privacy without a muzzle-guard of a dog...
it can be rather intimidating, to find that
however personal your content is,
   it actually entrenches your privacy,
paradoxically...
                    don't ask me how this happens...
i guess that: if your "privacy" is merely
an intricate web of lies... i guess you'd really
want to protect your spidery-ego as much as
possible...
                  but when you state your privacy
among internet profiles - glass people in glass houses...
(who the hell puts up these profiles,
what's there to talk about, on the date,
when you already have an a priori picture of a person
and their interests?) -
   once again, i don't know how it happened,
but by revealing my private life in "public",
i somehow managed to turn into
a right ol' hermit...
                      and unlike the youtube mentality:
i'm still a stranger among strangers,
       maybe that comes down to my ability
to talk to old men on benches, randomly,
while having a beer and a smoke;
don't mind homeless people either -
  give them a cigarette, ask how they're feeling,
and never bothering to ****** them
about the ethos of work, given that
so much of "work" these days is exactly that:
"work".
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
i've said this once before, and i'll say it again: i don't buy into dreams, i find them a bit ******, b-movie versions of reality, but sometimes, just sometimes, just before i tap the snooze honey and talk myself into: wake up early, wake up early, wake up early, tomorrow it's going to be california sunny (which it now is), i get a dream, and not some *******-riddling dream, a dream where i am lying next to a staircase and reciting poetry - there was a yesterday? - and i can clearly remember one line from the poem:

  the best verse i ever composed,
  was the verse i spoke -
     and never bothered to write down -
the poetry that belongs solely to ανέμοί -
the deity of the winds,
and of souls -
     of those who reside a tier above
hades, in his ***** - anemoi -
   and yes, diacritical entry points
for the english reside with i and j -
as is worth noting:
   there's a buddhist maxim of concern
with respect to the modern greeks
(let me keep you up to date) -
that famed mirror of *beryl
-
   stop polishing the ****** mirror,
you will not see much clearer,
stop polishing that ****** mirror,
wash your face instead, slap it even,
punch it till you bruise your knuckles -
by polishing that mirror too much,
you'll end up as the madman
xerxes of persia, demanding the sea
an allegiance and sub. obedience by
whipping it! we're not talking culinary
inventions of whipping cream,
or heating milk for a cappuccino froth!
if the english are going to be this *******
lazy with their abstinence of applying
diacritical indicators to ease the pain
of dyslexics with pseudo-chinese
  clarifying syllables - why should you?
you? the greeks, why spoil the beauty
of the already ready alpha-beta -
    you're perfecting something that's already
perfect -
        look at the trojan eve - look toward
the roman adam -
stark ****** naked; the greeks seem
to be donning five pairs of socks,
two pairs of trousers, six shirts, seven
pairs of underwear, gloves, and a burqa
to top it all off!
**** it, let's do what the english have
done: return to nature, embracing naturalism,
nudism, whatever the hell you want
to call this nightmare.

as any book review inquires -
  a book there is, how language began,
by a fella who learned some amazonian
language, a daniel everett -
who claims counter-claims vs. chomsky
and pinker -
  who says - citation, please!
he maintains that mental disorders do
not support the notion of a language *****,
for (he argues) there are no language-specific
disorders
...
  
          yup... apart from dyslexia,
i guess that means: you can't count from 0
to 100, or give me a 3 x 4 answer,
nothing language specific about that.

ah blimmin' heck, i can't believe that i turn
into this jeckyll ******* when i had two
sharpshooters -
    well... **** happens.

then comes a video including douglas murray,
sometimes you need a pompous english
*** to speak a little -
   jaw-dropping moments of perfected
sophistry -
         which the english are only capable
of, which they invoked by inventing
the american / australian accents -
covert mechanisms -
   don't invite diacritical distinctions
(which, by the way, pivot on the chinese
having not letters, but syllables -
hence the mongols in crimea,
   hence the mongols tickling cracow,
as the myth of the trumpeter goes
in the hejnał mariacki - heynow -
   st. mary's trumpet call) -
shim shiminy shiminy shim shoom
         ask for favours of off a broom...
   tipsy turvy -
        and what do you call a sikh on a construction
site? sinjit you 'av a brick on yir turban;
never feels right, him with a turban,
me with a hardhat, i'm guessing he's
praying that if a brick falls,
     it will bounce right off the cushion.

there was something else...
ah! the other type of intellectual, the quirky one,
i.e. david graeter talking about
money, and how adam smith was wrong
in speculation, and how you don't
find the most primitive societies engaging
in 1 x cow = 40 x chicken...
    i still don't understand why there is
haggling in marrakech bazaars -
    or how 1 x cow ≠ 40 x chicken
  but 40 x chicken + a wife for my son...
intellectual pomp vs. intellectual quirk -
can't decide -
         and money is a fascinating concept,
nietzsche was nearing the prospect,
but the much anticipated "transvaluation
of all values": well... to be honest?
   that's just a one word book: money...
but here comes the biblical fiasco -
          oculus namque oculus -
  auge für ein auge -
        simply, eye for an eye -
which bewilders me, given usury -
     interest rates, the supposed "pricelessness"
of certain artworks...
        it's way past jurisprudence -
    that meaning has morphed into
a banality, nay, an abomination of economic
ethics...
          the phrase no longer applies so much
to a jurisprudence regard of affairs -
   the term has become more and more
economical.
Her scarf's trying to catch the bus, but goody two shoes don't lose her chance, she runs to catch up, and the lady with the burqa that looks like it's trying to get to work before her catches up too.

The wind should be blue, it feels like blue on my skin when it gets in underneath my vest.
I think that the wind is some sort of a test to sort the weak from the strong as it blows me along.
I'm strong, but the longer the wind blows the more I get weak, I try to play hide and seek,
it finds me, I'm like a wind magnet and caught in its dragnet I bowl down the street.

The colour of wind should be blue and when I saw blue I'd stay indoors, comfy and warm
close to you.
The Islamisation of the world

Birds began falling from the sky, first a few but then
millions of birds fell dead to the ground one had to take
cover for not being killed by the mass of feathered deaths.
The sky was poisoned by our underarm sprays and other
stuff we used to cover our natural human scent, days of
silence but not for long, insects had no enemy bred fast
and we slithered ankle deep in bird droppings.

Summer,  not a pleasure everyone sat indoors feeding
canary birds while swarms of insects clouded the sun.
a burqa that covered the whole body was the solution,
aftershave lotion and perfumes were forbidden and there
were aroma patrols walked around the neighbourhood  
50 lashes and six months jail for anyone who wore the slightest
a whiff of perfume; and overnight we became Muslims.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
.somehow i never managed to elevate my listening palette to talk radio, notably BBC radio 4, from the upper echelon of "passively" engaging in content, namely classical FM... i still wonder why there's no jazz FM, spewing out the Blue Note records renaissance of the 1950s...

- since you really can't call it pumping iron
at the gym,
           the brain is already, primarily,
a fatty ***** with electric potential -
turn that ***** to a muscular entity -
lo & behold!
      Alzheimer's involves killer proteins -
that last tier of starvation,
in reverse -
   first the immediate consumption
   of the readily available carbohydrates
(sugars, starch) -
  then the fat reserves...
                        and last: the proteins...
as a side digressive question -
why not prescribe the onset of Alzheimer's
contained fasting -
     it's hypothetical -
                    a treatment so dramatic,
that the body's fat reserves have been
depleted -
         and the protein storage begins
to be involved -
        just a theory... i'm not qualified
to attest its verifiable status with
the current methods of alleviating
the onset of Alzheimer's...
but... given that no pharmacological intervention
is of any help...
               extreme fasting...
   post-scriptum of the fat reserves being
exhausted...
                 point being?
   an avenue not walked by anyone...
  a stab in the dark...
              but it clearly it hasn't been
     a good pat few days to solve
    sudoku puzzle...
    i'm muddled, i make obvious mistakes...
at 10,069... i thought: **** it...
   my mind is elsewhere,
    sometimes imitating a zoological
study of a chimp is doable -
    but... lately?
                        throwing custard
on walls rather than refreshing them with
paint and subsequently watching it dry...
so? there was only one alternative...
listening to talk radio...
             no, not BBC Radio 4...
    for a while, yes, i listened to it...
   the new stuff, the indie content creators...
i listen to too much music anyway,
like baby, from that movie baby driver...
  and talk radio is probably
the only worthwhile antithesis to listening
to music...
   problem with an addiction to music...
there is no parallel explanation,
or "cure" within the equivalency confines
of **** or gaming addiction...
                   it's an addiction that
transcends even the concept of god...
to me? god is a music addict...
    satan - the one angel who couldn't even
fathom singing in baritone...
   had a squeaky voice...
  thought: **** it...
              if i can't sing in the choir,
might as well blow a trumpet out of my ***
in hell...
       and watch the Quasimodo parade,
binging on it,
            next to the Golgotha summit...
so no sudoku for me...
i had to find an alternative...
    legacy media, whatever you want to call
them... the times newspaper -
   friday, 10th August 2017...
headlines...
    banner for the supplement -
how the Aga got cool:
   what the hip, urban set want in their
kitchens...
    seriously?
   you're serious?
              banks are refusing to
raise rates for savers
-
     NHS scraps restrictions on
life-changing leukaemia drugs
...
and my favorite...
     blackadder star backs Johnson
in burka row
-
that joke is old...
   i remember being in primary school
and overhearing an englishman
refer to, the NIQAB... rather than
the BURQA as: satan's letterbox...
  it's an old joke...
   around since the mid 1990s...
       about as exciting as
                 seeing a pigeon for the first time...
it's not even a bad joke...
it's just, plain and simple: DATED -
unless of course re-framed in a situation
of a BURQA clad woman,
driving a car...
        which will never happen...
     modesty before god my ***...
         that modesty is really there
in the bedroom...
         i.e. say one word during *** -
other than an onomatopoeia of an assortment
of vowels... and the said modesty...
fizzles out in the ether...
given that: "word is god"...
   so no sudoku... what else?
ah! indie talk radio...
   lionel nation -
   listening to it, while?
         reading the newspaper,
simultaneously...
alas... i'd be in the mud filled *******
of the fields of Ypres, in the dug trenches...
if i were to listening to Ęnglish,
but read Polish...
     anyone can read and listening to music,
but as cognitive gymnastics goes,
   receiving a worded message,
while reading another?
       i don't know how difficult it must
be for the mono-linguistics of natives...
i short-circuit
                 if listening to Polish talking -
and reading English...
and vice versa -
  but listening to the English language,
and reading it?
   not that the newspaper is exactly
troublesome -
   or engaging -
      it's part "news" and, for the most part -
a gym apparatus -
     the mere act of reading, per se,
   is what i'm after...
                 sometimes the day requires
relaxation using numbers...
    others?
              less of the number association
of "thought" and optics...
   and more split senses -
       thought confined to surd-phonetics
and hearing.
I was dialoging with this dawg named Paul
And he enumerate to me his school of thought
His adventure and the things he saw
When he was schooling abroad

How some white folks ‘d gather
Holding brown black banner
With the label; “black life matter”
And few time after; they’re all out; wildcatter; like Spartan; screaming “**** black panthers”

I don’t understand their style of prototyping
Stop stereotyping; you decolourized race of white ape dolomiting
I don’t know how being me; being Muslim, being poor or being black dude
Has to do with been shrewd; can’t you just be you instead of been rude

We’re all supposed to be on the same team
With the theme “Self-esteem”
At least in my head
But some people are close minded; and want to see some of our life-mates dead

Here’s something Big_Virge,
A young black man said
“I’m just like you; a human; red blood
With emotions; a moving figure
Why should you treat me; like I’m about to pull the trigger”

Over the centuries blacks have been discriminated
Because of the colour of their skin; we’re getting intimidated
Causing a whole population of human to become sadder
But at the end of the day we all bleed the same colour
So why should what’s on the outside even matter?

Being black, that automatically means you deal drugs
And all the homies you hangout with, they’re just a bunch of thugs
Who play with guns; and are thieves
Who gets chicks knocked up; with their baby and then just leave

Black people are the ones who walk around with sagging pants
The ones who get bullied by the police over suspected suspicion and not remaining a proper stance
If they walk around in the wrong neighborhood it gives that scared white woman a good reason to dial
But really it’s just a good opportunity to flash the blue lights and racial profile.

People say brown kids were born to end war between the two races
But people who are racist at heart, won’t stop their cruel ways
Just because they see more brown faces

I don’t experience racism?
That’s what they think
But i’ve gotten pointed at coz my skin isn’t like milk
It’s kinda like a mixed drink

And being on a low-end? Nope that’s a sin
God forbid us to have what we wanted
But little did they know love always wins

You can’t judge someone because of who they identify as or who they love
If it’s not affecting your life, it’s not something you should be concerned of

Now, Muslims.
I guess we’re all terrorists; huh?
But I guess we judge an entire nation of people
Based off of a few unfortunate attacks and call out the whole religion; duh

If you’re wearing a Burqa, Hijab or Niqob
You get judged
And looked at because you’re an assumed terrorist
Yes 9/11 was a tragic day but we can’t blame all Muslims because of it

People will criticize no matter what
But I can tell you what one of society’s errors is
I am a black and I am a muslim
But I am NOT A ******* TERRORIST
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
is...
your work...
the basis stratum
dynamic of...
infantilißing
poetry?   (debate... basic or basis?)

hell, if you don't like
the cure,
or depeche mode...
you sieve through
and furrage
for something, belgian...
like... the klinik...

no, i don't like being
made infantile...
like: i kept playing
with LEGO into my 30s...
just, just because i never
made use of
the claustrophobic-myopia
dynamic
of the prose strict,
utility of the paragraph...

maybe poetry is akin
to the sort of freedom
akin to breathing...
maybe: the child could
tell you:
what you're engrossed in?
your little, ****-fest
of adulthood?

     i can show you
the ******-taqiyya
with 3 minutes borrowed
from the film
  the sixth sense...
concerning the "magic" trick
of shaking your hands
and "supernaturally"
moving a penny from
one hand to the other...

i get it...
the poets are children
for authors,
since they cannot break
from the shackles of not
writing in descriptive
paragraphs
and having no imagination
for dialogue...

yeah... the sort of "dialogue"
that's really a monologue
of what poets do...
play into their late
pre-teen years with figurines...
no...
they're right...
i can't write a "dialogue"...
because i have "monologues"
in real life
that perplex me...
but, then again,
all the dialogues authors have...
would never fat-***-lodge
themselves into their own
heads to begin with,
they found it necessary
to invent a sort of
Pennywise escorts of
patience to wipe the blank
slate clear of written
exhibitionism...

     writing?
professional author style?
more like *******
for god....
unless god and the poets
is a close resemblance for
kiddy-fiddlers...
i am... suspect... hands up!

i'll ******* eat you
alive, and call it
a harvest of wheat!
not here, not on this "blank"
chessboard...
i know where the black
squares go...
i.e. where the letters in
black appear...

poetry is a variant of
infantalism...
hmm...

      MAYBE....

B                                         I






                                 G

space...
    you see any "clearer"?

hell... writing in vivo is:
"serious" writing,
fiction, author status,
paragraph sensible...

   maybe that's what heavy-heaving
literature always was,
words: in vivo...

poetry... sure... why shouldn't
any child attempt it?
  
  but money... is not part of this...
endeavor... is, it?

         if serious literature
can only claim stature
of in vivo...

  sure... the childish approach
to poetry begins with treating
poetry as: genesis in infans...

      my, genesis in infans?
painting...
             does anyone care i had
to fall into the educational
rubric of crafting spell-bound
examples of spelling?

serious literature:
big, biG, bIG, BIG people tongue...
a life as the many
trivialities
of making the myth
throwing a penny into
a fountain a...
        revision of reliving
the last moments of Pompeii!

doberman jaw...
******, please! feed me another
bone!

they're right though...
i am infantile in my "attempts"
at literature...
   i forgot to keep myself
schoolboy in schoolyard
uniform attire rigid,
for whatever,
is the worth of rhyme...
  hence they keep poetry
a medium on tight check...
over-ladden with...
  "technique"...
but... serious authors...
   labour in the paragraph
domain...
       like Descartes "mind"
connecting with the chair,
and table...

i'm still waiting for an answer...
i'm infanitle, becauase...
all my dialogues exist
outside my writing,
i abhor the claustrophobia
of the paragraph,
and the myopia
predictability of a narrative...
and i hold
the narrator:
pristine, unfathomable,
almost like a god?

  this is me... not becoming
a man?
oh...................
            so you want
that ******* song playing
in the background?
- what song?
depeche mode, martyr,
yes, no, maybe?

i have no...
          umbilical cord for
the furthering of "my" existence
on the tip of my tongue
to mind...
    yes... the ****** thing
attaches itself to either my
tongue or my metaphysical
tongue (ego) for all the worth
of second chapter of my time
here, being made aware...
what? you
    want the auguste rodin
   Le Penseur suddenly become
Le Fœtus.... to not apprehend
the synonym
      biology-burqa-blocked-toilet
reinterpretation?

at this point?
i have to scratch my head,
like chimpy-adam-and-suzie...

    you know...
by the time you'd read that sort
of **** from a serious author...
you'd be half-way from finding
a full-stop and a new sentence...
serious people over-load
their, original, poetic intentions,
with... serious...
monarchies of narrative...
hiding really decent sentences...
in heaps of descriptive
auxiliary props of
"never become Beckett-esque
theatre"...

     so yeah... poetry is infantile...
the only nuance:
i felt through
enough poignancy to make
a mistake,
and the mistake i made,
is... nuance...

                have you heard?
people take "serious" literature
compositions to bed...
       and they read them...
in order to fall to sleep...
meaning...
           i'm no nursery rhyme
genius...
                 but i also much
prefer to care for people
who are not subjected
to straining their eyes
lost in the myopia
labyrinth-paragraphs
of... 'and i saw!
the face! of Poseidon!'

blurry *******-boo-hoo,
i too...
          poetry is hardly infantile...
unless!
you have the sort of
ambitions to treat the paragraph
seriously!
and "dialogue" / i.e. a monologue
you will always have /
never have...
   and have children
to mind...

        then of course!
this medium of writing...
forever: hide & seek...
yet stating the painfully obvious...
tic-tac-toe...
and... hopefully:
very little rhyme.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
it's vaguely odd, to make this kind
of observation,
but have you ever squinted your
eye (with the other closed)
when looking at the moon?
well, with the sun, when you squint
your eye in a similar fashion,
your eyelashes almost seem to turn
to water, if not tears,
they become soaked in light,
that almost resembles water tricklets...
but with the moon?
ah, bountiful luna
   (in other languages,
the moon is male, the sun, female,
but in english, it's the other way
round);
it is only a day since a full moon,
and i'm drinking my ***
and feeling "bored",
so i turn my attention to
the moon, a day shy from fullness...
and you know?
  squinting my eye, i see a fraction
of the sum of the orb,
and as i do, a distinct ray of light
enters my body, just
above the eye, the forehead;
my eye still has the orb intact,
but there's a distinct ray of light
heading into the area just above
my eye...
as if: illuminating,
or clarifying...
   hocus pocus sort of dynamic
this observation has managed
to produce, but it's there,
when you squint your eye when
looking at the moon,
a direct beam of light enters via
your forehead,
it doesn't travel directly into your
eye,
        rather, just above it...
a licking aspect of a
     better-late-than-never "bend".
just an innocent observation,
and furthermore,
you tilt your head from side to side,
the same beam of light moves
with your observant eye...
   i find it fascinating,
how much of science is depicted by
only the dynamic of polyphemus
(the cyclops) -
   now, in islamic myths
this cyclops, the dajjal is one-eyed,
hence islam will clearly
testify that western science is...
metaphorically speaking: the dajjal.
i'm not so sure,
i already identified the dajjal
from the hadiths...
  muhammad spoke of the
east... given a compass...
    what's east of mecca?
   riyadh...
and when he said: he will be the scourge
upon the earth,
he didn't imply a poor person...
and he said his right eye would
be bulging, like a grape...
and he would be the worst curse
to befall a nation...
looks to me, that saudi arabia
is becoming more and more
decadent, isolated,
enigmatic even, why?
   it's ashamed of the youth
it has produced, it's: petrified!
who is this "enigmatic" dajjal?
ibn-saud...
   ibn-jabba-the-arab more like...
******* arab diabetics:
no no, alcohol is haram!
sugar iz good! hav' a baklava!
go **** yourself, give me
a sand-timer you *******
camel jockey.
   there was once a "thing" called
the iron, curtain...
seems to me, we're living in times
of the sand, curtain...
  i really don't want to think
about the *****-whipping ***-cracks
of men living in these sand-dune
cities that: resemble the most pristine
apocalyptic visions of:
                                     FAIL!
ah, don't bother, start building
these babylon-esque towers on
antarctica... then you can pet some
penguins while you're at it!
come on, you can't have any other
animal in tux serving drinks...
a cheetah in tux? what are you
talking about?
               see, the english didn't pick up
on this, no one i know, or don't know
has spoken about the isolationism
of saudi arabia...
   lawrence of arabia is long gone
along with the: "evil" turk...
       great biography too...
but the sand curtain is there...
    there's nothing special happening
under it... it's like a babushka doll,
but whenever you open one up after another,
the niqab is still there...
        i wish the russian thought
up an islamic babushka doll...
  **** it: let's start with a burqa,
then a niqab... nearing the end we get
a thong and then the garden of eden *****...
i don't have the money to make this:
go ahead, like my idea, made a babushka
doll like that: you'll be... minted!
yeah i know, i'm sometimes like
a forrest gump, i like ping-pong and
i play-along with being innocently dumb...
i was born with the idea of money
as being nothing more than a comparison
to counting pebbles,
given that western "intellectuals"
bark against prostitutes...
     i've given myself to sparingly
whiff off a few grand, here & there,
because...
   if ****'s not broken,
                      why buy a replacement?
saudi arabia is, though, playing an
isolationist game for reasons you might
not suspect...
  hence the hadith quote,
   hence the sand curtain:
the older generations are ashamed
of the offspring they produced,
and their european slavic ***** *** ******...
that's good, i don't mind jerking
off... i can focus on my drinking...
   and yes, i've been to prostitutes,
and every time i get a kiss and she says:
no no no, it's against the rules,
but i still do, and get that girly
wish i was 16 giggle... well...
             grease me another frying pan:
i'm about to make a killer curry;
alter-ego talk...
matta al-britanni?
    got sent to the wrong place,
overshot the ******, sent him to goa,
to cook curries for white tourists...
seems pretty happy to me...
   better not tell him he's not supposed
to be there... like any ******:
   happy when being given a newspaper
to rip in nicely folded rectangles:
i knew one robbie... no pair of scissors
could beat him:
as they say - 'ere by v'ah grease of good:
rubby rubby, chubby chubby,
and out pops a screaming plum's head
mmm' ha ha:
rubby rubby, chubby chubby,
that's a good 'un, dash ah keepour:
talk to an amsterdam prozzie,
she'll tell you the linguo choke,
i mean: joke.
- where was i?
  oh, my, god! you know when you write
something, and keep writing something,
and you're like: girlfriend, you're gonna
blush...
   and it hits you, and it's, like: amnesia?
it's called the cut-up flux technique,
well, it's hardly a technique,
it's not the cabaret voltaire scene
to be honest...
    you don't think up a plot,
the plot thinks up itself,
   you... move along, you... move along,
but amnesia is a great technique
to focus on...
                  god, sometimes i wish
i was yoda japanese:

     squint the eye, you will,
     moon, apparent be seen,
     beam of light
        hit your forehead, it will.

and that's all it was going to be...
     but obviously the european ramble had to take
place, and involve much more,
than the recipe for ink had in store
for me, with the already twice mentioned
observation;
bad luck, hopefully better, next time.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2019
we will learn to keep people
in their echo-chambers:
soon enough...
just like with the sketch i'm
rewriting for the 5th time...
about the "forgotten" jihad
in the xinjiang...
because: no jihadi: "proud warrior"
of the ummah will ever find himself
in... except in xinjiang...
no need for a xinjiang jihad
to "begin" with...
thank god for the afghan spirit
of burqa praise!
and the pashwan or pashweerie
poetics of the clever women...
i will not hear a *******
mouses' peepsqueak
from these taliban turban rolls
of toilet paper readied for
a ******* squat!
*******... never a jihad when you
need one... or...
true true: depending on
the "where"...
because you don't have
one arab supporting arab superiority...
against another arab...
you need the iraqi influence
to via that kuwait *******...
but when the saudi arabs attack
the people of yemen?
a long prolonged vowel of your choice...
and a tetragrammaton vowel
catcher surd of a consonant H...
what bother?

internet soap opera pop culture...
i want to meet onision as
michael myers...
i'll be found dead... contemplating
torturing an animal...
but? when it comes to something
****-esque? i would like
to contemplate recycling...
**** me...
we celebrate the predator in
a tiger form...
but have to shame him in the human form:
if acting alone...
why shame what you can also eat?

i don't get it... the predator is...
celebrated if feline...
perhaps group mentality is part
of the strategy... to be witness:
be involved... to be third party sources...
a predator humanoid...
rare... isn't it? cleaarly non-existent...
which would make me an accomplice...

what did i "say?
i never integrated into english society:
proper...
there was no trans-generational aspect
of worshipping soap opera britain...
grandmothers watch soap opera
in poland... apparently everyone watches
eastenders in the vicinity of London...

i said: humanity adores predators...
the feline and the aquatic...
but when it comes to predators of its
own, categorical definition?
it shames them...
how can you adore one and the same
essence... but then...
differentiate it as either + or negative?

no wonder... that "we" introduced
the microscope and the telescope...
the "big" in the small picture...
as the "small" in the big picture...
the solipsistic extreme and:
the democratic right of the vote...

but still no news concerning the xinjiang jihad,
yes? no news...
the jihad is still thinking about:
crusading it into the north western aspect
of europe...
somehow nothing jihad related
is bound to the spanish term:
reconquista...

aren't any muzzy fiddle-tongues required
in the xinjiang vicinity?
no? that's ******* terrible!

and if i wanted to watch internet culture
like i might watch... english soap opera...
i'd love to visit onision akin
to michael myers...
i don't know... 6ft2 lying about being shorter...
257pounds (lying about being slimmer)...
and women get away with the vanity
project of age...

i would just like a teddy bear to play
with...
i'd love to play-dough a psychopath
into a workable silence...
imagine me: when i find it irritating
my maine **** quarus imitating
pavaroti... i tell 'im...
**** and **** into the space provided...
nein nein! am meisten hoch nein!

well: schaudermichbauhölzer!
i drink... i sink into appropriating german...
i know, i know...
it's bad gesture... like biting your nails
when watching a football match...
or binging of popcorn...
but... i drink... i lick some german ash
and call it: resurrection!

this is my 5th attempt...
and i'll "publish" it...
because...
there's something quiet...
forthcoming...
when you think you are able
to outsize someoneone...
to stereotype physics...
to play the bogus Goliath against
a sly David...
personally i don't mind...

didn't anyone at any time in history...
ever want to play the statue role,
the cameo of a supposed imposing nature?
like a silent mountain?
it's not like i'm an authority figure...
perhaps i question some demands...
demands being: audacities...
and... that one last bet that will end your
luck...

i don't want to impose...
i don't want to... scare people off their
audacity to genesis ex...

i just want to stand a titan-grandeur;
and see mortals play gods beneath me,
like a mountain;
again... with no exceptional size measures...
nothing for the alltäglichmensch:
grau-mann-sache to mind...
a fraction above the average...

sober: of no worth of a judge...
silent, though? oh i love to sit back...
and read a book that actually reads itself...
when there is no narrator...
when the characters play themselves
in the multi-level care for the crib
and lullaby for glue... of the tender toddler...

the dog on the leash...
the cat on the whim... outdoors...
will i hear about the xinjiang jihad...
any time soon? no, i probably will not.
5th attempt; all others saved in draft as imperfect
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
and for some reason, whenever the night sky engages
with me: i feel no lessening of meaning,
no dictate superior -
not that i can't grasp something -
or shove myself into the sky beyond
atmosphere -
     it's no the universe that makes me feel
inferior, dwarfed, insignificant -
i count the bodies in a linear pattern -
plumbers, electricians,
   chemists, doctors -
   its this unanimous collectivism,
faked-staged as individual rights that
bugs me...
               oh i'm not jealous -
    but let's face it:
      to speak for the entirety of humanity:
is to not speak for any humanity at all...
man's insignificance doesn't reside
in the stars, in pillars of men standing as
tall as to tickle the constellation -
         it's so much more linear -
in that, the man next to me sees no stars,
sees no heaven,
but only: the next day -
and an art, or profession: that demands him
perfecting it,
       solipsism is thus in the guise of
a placebo effect -
   yet so few fathomable re-entry points -
to put the thought behind in a crevice
of shadows...
        and are men not twice the foetuses
when compared to women?
     a man's ego will forever remain
a foetus-like creature -
                simply because the universe
is feminine -
in that a woman has the "burden"
of carrying through a new, beginning -
which is why a woman's ego will never
be a foetus liking -
  unlike the man, who has an ego that is very
much foetal -
       we contradict by compensating
metaphorically -
         and somehow that leaves us
less contradictory that we might think...
   a woman's ego can never take to
a foetal form, a woman is already
the carrier of the universal -
   which is why so many, if not all women
"lie" - well, hide truths -
and write such terrible books,
if any...
   the moment a woman writes a book
of truths, is the moment she is abhorred
by her ***...
women don't write truths -
a man will stand fully attired in his
nakedness, while a woman will stand
in a burqa -
    peering, so little revealing -
                    the joking poker player.
man is twice the foetus to a woman -
since he emerges from one space of mystery
to another space, of even greater mystery...
a woman at least has the upper-hand
on man by incubating him for one part
of the flux...
       what has man to offer by comparison?
two world's worth of two *******?
      another thing,
i'd love to be included in this debate,
even though, i think so little of it -
      this consensual *** gimmick -
what do you call losing your virginity at
a university house party, where both
both of you are drunk,
   and she decided to go lie in your dorm room,
prior to the end of the party,
and you go back to your room,
and want to fit in with her in a single bed,
and you start kissing,
   and then you begin to engage with
her in *******,
you're drunk, she's drunk,
  but then she suggests in a sober fashion:
matt, put on a ******...
    consensual, or not?
    so you put a rubber on,
  and lose it...
                      she's 21, you're 18...
what was non-consensual about that
sort of theatre?
      could it well be, that having *** while
drunk, pivots on the crux of:
put a ****** on?
i remember testifying for a friend in
court, his phone was stolen while we were
walking,
   i told him: write that number-plate down,
then in the police station i recognised
the ****** from among the 20+ mugshots,
he didn't,
   while in court the ***** lawyer
showed me a picture of the "defendant" -
it was 2 years old...
so i said to him: so you're telling me,
that people these days have all made
dorian grey pacts, and don't change?
  what i i told you that i could probably
don a beard in 5 years?!
the case didn't end well,
   simply because my friend couldn't
identify the mugshot of the culprit -
     and people might mock while i believe
in a god: for one - the universe is a stretchy
womb - and i'm twice the foetus in it...
for another reason: people haven't exactly
mastered jurisprudence -
they can be all cocky when it comes to
laws in science -
but in terms of the lesser laws -
     people know as much about relativism
as einstein knew about quantum physics...
that being said: very little!
       it would be hard not to make a mistake,
einstein was a physicist of the telescope,
of course he would have faltered on
the level atomist investigation -
you don't suddenly get to play with
the heavenly orbs (planets, stars) -
and then get to play with the ants
  (electrons, neutrons, protons) -
       knowing the big doesn't exactly imply
you'll get to know the small,
                                 and vice versa;
and as all men are: we are twice the foetus -
women? only a foetus once -
and then the incubator of constellations -
of man's ideas and thoughts...
  women are only foetuses once...
men? twice...
          and there are so many secrets women
haven't, and never will tell -
no matter how much they "think"
they're written -
     women will never tell the ultimate
truth... it's just simply impossible -
and with the end of life -
man is still ****-naked in eden -
while woman is dressed in a niqab -
peeking through a post-box at the world...
it wasn't muhammad's invention
to create the niqab or any muslim attire -
muhammad revealed the koran -
and the arab women "revealed" the niqab...
and then muhammad was like:
the **** is this!
        and the women said:
well, if you've spoken to
the angelically-handsome gabriel -
try talking to us a second time...
         how far does indeed the scorn of
women flow, to the pits of tartarus
where queen sheba, queen of jealousy,
strokes medusa's serpentine hair of
serpents...
     the oppression was created by women,
there is nothing manly about
putting a ******* wool bucket over
your head and pretending to be a calamity
jane ninja!
   i can't even begin to think that
the islamic attire was created by men...
   surely, after a few centuries,
arabs would become the new jews -
i.e. whitened, michael jacksons...
    you sure enough vitamin D is being
ingested, surely they'd start to become
whiter...
          like the jews did...
  but now, still the same old arabs as
before...
       let's face it: was coco chanel a man,
or a woman?
                 so why would a man give
two farts to the wind's worth of fashion?
don't ask me, i'm drinking,
and i just told you how i lost my virginity
to a drunk psychology french exchange
student,
   and how i feel no guilt having lost it
drunk, and her drunk,
   but the words: put a ****** on -
as being: well, that's consent, alright.

— The End —