left you behind
left a small *** of forget me nots, queen’s park, bakerloo, about an hour away from you
a goodbye letter in a plastic bag
“you’re the best lover i’ve ever had.”

“i loved you most when we said goodbye”
i’ve never seen more beautiful, actually, darker eyes

forget me not as i fly across the sea
airplane crashes and you promise to remember me

making love in my landlords living room
a bicycle thief “you’re leaving too soon,”
how did it feel to stay
how are your ankles
your eyes
too grey?

Lonely London boy,
A stranger to the City,
A fluffy-haired gull
Lost in a sea of suitcases
And Kodak-clad people.
Big dreams tucked
Into the waistcoat
That hugged his frame
A little too much,
Occasionally glancing
Into café windows to
See how disheveled
He had become
During rush hour
On the Bakerloo Line.

Closing time.
     Cold marble steps, brisk evening air.
Small cappuccinos,
     hot chocolate with cream you didn't ask for.
The Canadian Embassy
     casting glittering lights across the fountain waters.
Faint indigo sky,
     laughing about the Renaissance,
falling asleep on the Bakerloo.

title: scandal tilt
body: porous: per & marie 2019:
simultaneously: preserved...

wow!

on my way back from a shift at Craven Cottage... walked through the park with great haste, sweat like a pig prior to slaughter when sitting down on the District Line from Putney Bridge to Victoria... still wearing my jacket... upon disembarking the train, took the jacket off... breathed... allowed my sweaty back to breathe, took off my clip-on tie, undid about three button from the collar down... well... i've been told before that i'm as hairy as a monkey... hairy face, hairy chest, hairy stomach... a Turkish ******* would never mind... we only travelled two stops from Victoria through to Oxford Circus... i have to write the following word in katakana... what... a *******... スカ - SUKA... *****... a female-dog... what's the ideogram of that katakana? no... it's not that simple... SUKA... thank god i was wearing my sunglasses... the Thames bore these two holes for my eyes with the glimmer of the sun being reflected come sunset... i asked my co-worker: Putney Bridge is not the last bridge of... the first bridge of London? he mentioned: isn't there one at Hammersmith? isn't there one at Richmond: i replied? favourite bridge? oh... you that film: from the 1990s... Sliding Doors... the Battersea Bridge? no no... not the Battersea Bridge... that white one, with all those Christmas Lights... it's the Albert Bridge... sure... we know the last Bridge of London is the Tower Bridge... but what bridges are there after Putney?! oh... we're not going into Oxfordshire or... Kingston-upon-Thames... **** that... London, proper... **** me... the map on google reads like some Arabic text: right to left... weird... what comes after Putney... see... when i was living in Edinburgh... at least i knew my bearings... there it was... the shining emblem of the compass... the Firth of Forth... down in London? it's a ******* Bermuda triangle! the ****** just spins and spins... people come from all other i'm like: yeah... "that"... that's not supposed to be there but... "there"...  clueless... sure as ****... after Putney Bridge you get the Hammersmith Bridge... then the Chiswick Bridge... then the Kew Bridge... then the Twickenham Bridge... that's the last proper bridge on the map... London will forever be too disorientating... at least Edinburgh is facing north... London isn't facing any direction on the compass... it just... spins out of control... so i got on the Victoria line at Victoria... two *******... one looking somewhat tame... the other... ooh... what a treat... we were only going as far as Oxford Circus... red hair... some of her's some fake... tattoos on her hands and fingers... she looked like she had piercing in her cheeks in the past... just my type: crazy... unhinged... daddy issues: whatever... and i''m standing there, tired... dead-beat... i just want to get home and drink some whiskey and scribble... about my triumph while helping a few boys sell cookies and brownies for charity by changing around their stall arrangement... because i wasn't put into the stadium to shove a lot of lard around... i'm peering through my sunglasses... oh... wait... she's digging me... oh right... she's one of those girls into the Scandinavian look? oh god, one of these ones... only hours prior i was talking to this Finnish grandfather about sports in general... i'm giving off these whiffs of Viking "beauty"... **** me: and i know what i'm goign to say next: that sort of physiognomy always attracts the happy-tattooed-hands and fingers red hair types of *******... right? where they **** is my ******* Mohawk then?! where the **** are my tattoos... i mean... i've seen dogs with eyes like these... eagerly brown and blooming with joy... any other scenario... we got off at Oxford Circus... i waited a little... she just about ****** off down the North Bakerloo route... i spotted her... obviously... she tried to give a shy glance back: would i follow her... ask her for her number... she had the most amazing: inquisitive eyes... i know... she wanted me to approach her... one of those... magical movie scenes... two strangers on the tube... blah blah... if work didn't **** me off... if i didn't have to make up for it on my own crowds from something within like: self-initiative... just my-******-up-type... no... i went down the Central Line route... travelled to Stratford... got the train to Goodmayes... bought a bottle of 200cl of brandy... some pepsi... some cigarettes... and walked past Chadwell Heath... thinking... about absolutely nothing... well... the "one that god away"... sure... it's not even whether i have the patience... i obviously have the charm... but i know how the conversation would have started and ended... so... you still don't live alone? you don't have a place for me to crash... bring all my belongings to? guess... what... what she said with her eyes... perfect! what she would later say with her tongue? no, i don't want to hear it... beccause i'd be her stereotypical loser... so... why... ******* bother? with those eyes of hers i also received: twice-more with the eyes of the boys i helped to collect more money from selling charity cookies in the park... oh **** me: more! because it was selfless! there was no ******-friction involved!  sure, i could try to rekindle my self (in the reflective, not the reflexive: myself... sense... no... that's long gone... i've aged, i've learned some pretty good lessons of reserve) with a teenage boy i used to be, who would fall asleep listening to Roxette... fading like a flower, watercolours in the rain, blah blah... but this... what's that film? Happiness of a Spotless Mind? Jim Carrey... crazy free spirited girl with red or purple or blue hair... sure... and if, myself, didn't go mad aged 21... entering a church... hearing a choir and then hear a great wind disperse the singing... sure... right now... aged 35... i'd be a proper career-boy... not caring about the lesser people in me... status-orientated... i would easily pick-up these wacko girls left right and centre... and give them a month's worth of... living out the Pretty Woman fantasy... no.. instead i have a personal library in my ivory tower of a bedroom in my parent's house filled with Heidegger's black notebooks... oh man... but this one... she had prettier eyes than an Alsatian's... she gave off whiffs of surprise... could she love me, like i am? torn? perhaps... i forgot to make a reality-check-cheque in my head... better this fleeting interaction... she... infatuated: me indifferent... at least in the moment... obviously now i think about it... sure... some, "alternative" universe... where... we might live an affordable living in... the ******* Shetland Islands caretaking a lighthouse! but my life hasn't been all that predictable to find more unpredictability all of a sudden... some exercise in a vitality for / of life... i just need little pockets of being acknowledged by the other as being recipient of existence... that usually comes along with children and handicapped people... or animals... these three categories always spot me... if i were ******* rising in the hierarchy of the truly insane-sane folk... i'd have to be as mad as a poodle-or-a-toddler's-worth-of-Mozart! ****'s sake... no no no... i'm not buying that trip! **** that... i'm going my own way... to a place where the moon is a skull in the coldness of the night, and come April... there is a whiff of a Magnolia scent in the air! i call it trans-temporal pairing to some cue to a clue to this puzzle... but this one... my god... eyes like a properly bred Alsatian... so endearingly brown... she looked like a teenage girl for a second's worth of flash of time... she just looked so ****** up... like a puzzle box... and with all that make-up she slapped up... Madam Tussauds' replicas saw less... what's the retrospect? i? i'm scared of reality? last time i heard: i've been the one most detached from it... why would i be afraid of reattaching myself to it? the only reality i find comforting is... when i'm surrounded by children, retards or animals... i consider plants as inanimate objects, so no... other thoughts... mother's arthritis... a father coming to the conclusion of this career... nearing retirement... their mortality... my mortality... cinema movie love stories are sort of gone... reality doubles-down... no one was truly with me when i needed help... ergo? i helped myself the best i could... and... i don't need loved-up pretend hitch-hickers... how authentic it might seem... at least when i visit a brothel... no ******* is going to say: oh... another loser... how are losers treated in those Japanese love-hotels because of over-crowding, no-house-building "claustrophobia"?

on my way back from a shift at Craven Cottage...
tired... left the house at quarter to 9am...
came back.. at 8:30pm...
and did what? only a 6 hour shift... got paid...
hmm... good idea... i don't even know...
capitalism... whoever defends it ought to know
that there are rogue companies out there...
the current company i'm working for...
i'm supposedly an employee...
   but... they have... since November of last year...
yet to issue me with a statement to clarify
how many hours i've worked and what i'm to be paid...
they just... transfer money into my bank account:
without any: black on white clarification...
i've already heard stories about the owner and co-owner...
how they profited from the pandemic...
little pawn me... a year... i just need a year...
to get those references... even today i started talking
to this guy about joining another company...
at least that company has an online rubric in place:
where you can book in electronically
rather than rely on some bogus whatsapp messaging...
******* cowboys... meat-heads... the whole lot
of them... no logistical sensibility...
but i've done it since November... i'll wait...
i'm patience... i'll play nice... but today...
oh today was coming... they're behaving like it's
a ******* schoolyard... i'm being punished for having
mentioned already having a university education:
oh god! and a degree in chemistry!
some are studying pretend-law... or whatever *******...
or they have known each other for a bit longer...
or that i'm not talkative: professional... while they
stab each other in the back... or...
i fancy this one girl who started work...
rumours spread that a supervisor is ******* her...
but i approach her with flowers on Valentine's day...
she gets fired... i get sidelined...
          oh i know my place... it's a place that's
called the waiting game...
         but today i was *******... less capable people
were put into positions within the stadium...
me? again: to the ******* park with you...
some might say: oh... he's ben given the easy shift...
yeah... the ****** shift...
   i made due counters... i had to...
by the end of the game a ginger colt that was
ejected during the game... drunk... had nothing better
to do than to sleep in the park... i tended to him...
woke him up... waited with him for his friends to rejoin
him... so half-asleep... i comforted him with:
you team (Coventry) beat Fulham 3 - 1... happy?
he replied... why do all the best games happen when
i'm asleep? well... this must have been the first
in a park in London... you're lucky it was a gorgeous day...
but my pinnacle came when i helped these boys
who were selling homemade bakes for charity...
NSPCC... £1 a pop... but they weren't selling them...
because they position their stall right behind a tree...
so i walked up to them... listen...
you're not going to sell them... you're hiding behind
a tree... here... let's move this stall of yours...
away from the tree... and closer to the route of leaving
fans... and let's also twist the table a little so...
your BAKED-GOODS for CHARITY is facing
the people walking out of the stadium...
    i finished my shift... would you know it...
             from about 30 unsold pieces of dough...
the boys had only 2 left...
           and how they thanked me...
   fine... FINE... if this steward contra SIA hierarchy
is in place... ******* wanks...
i'll do a better job elsewhere... pacifying people...
after all... all those with those SIA badges... licenses...
oh... they know **** all of judo...
they just rush overpower: art of ****...
   first comes the art of reason...
much much later comes any physical interference...
but i'm working with half-wits...
  just because some are bulging... have a voiced-prowess...
gorilla-mating-call-warfare i call it...
they think they have a license to: attend to doors
they build up this superiority-complex...
which is great... i might therefore ask:
not that i have a PhD... but... if you're going to belittle me...
do you have a degree in chemistry?
just today... i picked up a high-viz. orange...
later it was changed to black... i picked up one with
the word: supervisor on it... because it fitted me:
2XL... oh no no... one of the other pawns inquired...
you can't wear that... but it's black...
i was told to change from orange to black...
but this one has the word: SUPERVISOR written on
it... my god... how people have learned to overvalue
themselves... or rather: how have become become
undervalued that they have to have these little battles...
the war is already lost...
whatever ******* Einstein figured this one out...
so at the end of the shift we're about to stand down...
me and my "mate" are park 3... we're looking for park 2...
right... and we're all wearing black vests... black trousers...
black coats... the crowd that's leaving?
well... you know how the English dress...
hardly in the United Colours of Benetton...
or the old way that GAP used to attire people: colourfully...
so... i'm looking for a black moth
among a cloud of dark grey moths... great!
******* genius! like i said:
i'm working with ******* meat-heads...
i'd like to say retards but they are too bulky and too angry
and too ready to stance themselves as BIG
rather than arm themselves with cunning...
o.k. o.k. work... but i got the upper hand...
i helped those boys sell those cookies... cakes... whatever...
out of their stash... we just moved the table away
from the tree... shifted it so the sign was more apparent
and... hey presto! NSPCC got its fair share...
and... my reward? the sweetest thank you any man
can receive... the outstanding look on a young boys face
that a stranger is capable of helping (him)...
that's ******* priceless... i'm writing about all those
petty squabble prior... but... that thank you:
that look of longing for hope in the future...
that's mine... i own that... or that tenderness of
the drunk boy who was sleeping in the park
waiting for the game to finish... while i gentle touched
his leg to wake him up... that too...
i don't need physical confrontation when i can:
appease... comfort... all those adrenaline junkies...
those... amphetamine-anabolic-steroid: former prison
guard types... whatever...
i know one decent move that could floor anyone...
you make a cross with your thumbs... while pretending
to pray... with these hands... you grip someone
by the knuckles... pressing the thumbs into the hand...
and twist... i forgot martial art i learned that from...
i left the classes after i was kicked in the *****...
and curled into a foetal position: after i refused to:
shout HA-YA! when pretending to punch and throwing
kicks while marching forward...
****** lessons in martial arts... getting kicked in the *****...
but... i write this... like...
like i will never go to the gym and pump weights...
just give me 2 hours on a bicycle...
doing some press-ups...
and once the shift it gone... having being paired
with this "mate" of mine:
he'll reply: it was nice working with you...
and you sort of know it's almost...
when he tries to sell you an alternative
job to the current you're working at...
because... it's "CAPITALISM":
   i too heard... didn't you hear?
if you have the right sort of a microphone...
and you put it up to a dog's *******
when the dog's running...
you can... hear... ******* the tune of:
jingle-bells!
didn't you know?!
   esp. that version from Lethal Weapon...
      one ****, count one two...
two's a ****'s worth... three and four and by five:
grr... what's not to love about
life and all the arguments for the status quo
of all those people that always go ahead
and gear up the tide of: away away we go:
leaving the rest of the idiots behind...
           tear-jerking psychologists with an audience
of soft-cookie:
those types that ought to be hard-on
digestives... instead... they get dunked into tea...
i burp... what... a cushion my crap and crab
on the inside out...
rather than harden it with the exoskeleton
of the outside in...
            little ******* London adventure of... perhaps
Romance... but... most probably:
probably not.

i mean: you know how the joke goes?
when you diagnose someone as having lost touch
with reality?
and then... too many people have lost touch with reality?
the supposed loss of reality of the individual...
transpires like a phantom: clout...
why were people supposing that, "i" became detached
from reality?! huh?! why are these people
wearing pseudo-niqab nappies on their faces
when almost pretending to be: trainspotting?!
huh?!
           i'm schizophrenic... what about all these...
covert... hidden... undiagnosed hyperchondriacs?
i thought i was just a bilingual...
oh... right... the mono-lingual normies of England...
sure... "we" can follow-up with that...
"you" try to destroy "me"...
"we'll" come after "you":
gender neutral? one's a ROYAL:
one and we...
                anything to: bypass the ******* rap!
investment from years... years ago...
always invest in children...
you never know when they'll come around to
protect you against the elders
or... more importantly...
your contemporaries...
                always invest in children...
         their presence is a future forward:
kinder:
      immer invertieren im kinder...
   ihr(e) gegenwart ist ein zukunft: ein fließen!
i'm guessing...
unlike in Deutsche...
a(n) apple... savvy?

           i truly wish... i truly... want to believe
beyond the told ties of the heart to:
all the discomforts of reality checks...
that i could possibly come to the splendours of
illusion on a whim:
and keep such whims within the confines
of illusion... without having to have to reality
check them back with...
items of "reciprocated" gratitude...
for the "good life"... oh what a sweet little whisper...
and... if i were a painter...
what a Francis Bacon horror i would possibly
conjure with the aid of cubism...
such trivial times are beyond us...
dog have eyes and the levelled certainty as such...
women just have the spontaneity...
there's no Bonaparte behind them...
no suicide quest for Moscow... no... chains and harship...
believe whatever psychologists you want...
pop, piquant... whatever... piquant: i.e. niche...
whatever... no one helped me through my 20s...
now in my mid 30s...
i've finally reached a pinnacle of being attractive...
during transit... but i know it's all a veneer...
behind my visage there ought to be some
******* miraculous story where...
i'd probably invite her back to my flat...
where i live alone... blah blah...
                i own too many books...
   i prefer the safety net of prostitutes...
at least they love me for the way i **** them...
with the intensity of the moment...
i posit: carpe diem... and make an hour last
a certainty... i don't need this *******'s worth
of timid courtship... no thank you...
i waited long enough... i waited too long...
no more...
              i'm done... i'm going to brush my "Greek" nose
up a little more... with arrogance and say...
when i needed you? you weren't there...
now... that you might, perhaps want me?
no... i don't need you...
           you know what i really need?
strangers! i need to interact with as many people
as possible! i can't be bothered with living a life
for some... exclusive relationship!
i need... the most inclusive: selfless relationship!
a... motto akin to:
liebe für das volk!
               if not in Deutsche... then in Latin?

AMOR ENIM POPULUS!

who else? who else can one love?
if one has been denied the excusive rights to love a woman
in one's youth?
as one ages... being denied such a right?
one can only grow to abound in loving:
the people! how else is one to survive?
   what? the same old: "missing"... "mythological":
"exclusive": female?
learn from Adolf ******! LIEBE DAS VOLK!
                  you haven't been given exclusive rights
to counterpart individual...
and... to be honest... inclusivity is stressed by both
status of wife / bus-driver in terms of how
universality is to be expressed on the ground:
all are to be treated equally...
alles ar zu sein behandelt gleichermaßen,
id est: gott! mit! uns!

             i have no one to love... i truly do, not,
so why... keep myself deluded in some...
waiting game of exclusivity?!
   why not freely pass into a medium of selfless
inclusivity?! why... not love: as freely...
and as painfully... as a sparrow might...
the dawn of spring... and the midnight or some:
forgotten hour(s): to come...
    i'm too old to find exclusive love...
to pair-bond... i'm too old... i know the frosty bite
of reality... but at least i can love inclusively...
like a Jesus Christ... like an Adolf ******...
what?! they're... that ******* far apart?! i don't...
*******... ****-ing... think so...
       i'm more comfortable with inclusive love-affairs
where i can be forever pillar... cold...
less-spoken that could be expected...
    my 20s... i never had them...
                    my 30s just about returned...
and now i'm interacting with people in their 40s
and 50s... and all i have in my mind is...
a cat... in musketeer type of boots...
kicking a rat into a sewer... why?
because... that's seems... just about... GERECHT!

Southampton vs Leeds
today at Wembley

yesterday the whole of
Manchester came
to London (also Wembley):

there's something infuriating
about the spirit of the north
especially in England
some old tale of Vikings

because the north like
the north Norway and Finland
is: well
the Polacks had a long ago
allegiance with the Norsemen

but the spirit of the north
in England
that land between London
and Scotland
because i don't think
i can relate to the spirit of the dragon
of the west of Bristol

no: much different
but in the same vein:
i think i should travel for a weekend
trip to Manchester
or Newcastle
or even perhaps Leeds

but i'd need to own a car for that
and not use trains
get out
experience a driving holiday
across England
and write...
i think i need a writer's holiday
unlike what could never
have been promised on Kauai
in terms of writing
and growing:

i think i need to grow intellectually
and for that i need alone time
perhaps i will not philosophy
maxims or aphorisms because
i find that when writing
wisdom is cheap because not actually lived
counter to the wisdom invoked
none of it is ascribed to a life

only from word of mouth
sorry therefore
but from word of mouth i find the accounts
of Socrates more involving, inviting,
sensibly middle Buddhist path...

but i don't even have a driving license...
that's plan B
so plan A is to travel to Poland
and get a driving license
and from there look in on Martin
in the care home now
walking
but obviously the mind regardless: fried
scrambled or i best
like to think an omelette...

there's this favorite Indian place of mine
just in the shadow of Wembley
with great great Samosa
vegetarian
something i see too much meat
i want to try some ape-thinking
or rather

     koala in an eucalyptus tree
like some birch standing upside down
but no
the forest shifts to bamboos
and a panda
this forest this river this sea of people:
the people: regardless of the social
construct of sobering democracy
rather than the drunken ripple into time
en masse
like circling around the Kaaba
in Mecca
or circling around the Pitch (Pi)
or Wembley in London...

sporting events replaced the failed
christianity in Europe
the failed christianity in Europe:
which is not to say that
Christianity isn't thriving in Africa
Asia
South America is the New Europe
of Christianity
and pockets of insanity in the North
of the Americas...

but Europe isn't dead: it simply turned
covert...
there is a narrative i need to be part of
and this cannot invite an Edie
and a Reyla when i am of the "class" of people
that need to hear people
speak
and i need to listen and watch and record
but unlike journalism
poetry is a question to the butcher:
would you butcher a meat twice
by overcooking it?
beef is safe
but dare to under-cook chicken? no...
would rather eat raw fish
than under-cooked chicken...
TEXTURE...
a problem with texture regardless of those
allergic to peanuts
and all the microcosms of what if Darwinian
laws were in place
not nature's as ontological specific to man
but rather as Darwinian laws
of appropriating the stasis ontologies
of animals
to the singleton humanoid-hood of mankind

Darwinism is an Ontological Disney-Magic-Place
then some recoil back
to basics of: morality as prejudice...
not as something crippling
but as a prejudice of character...

one shift we were singing Champagne Supernova
then i got high
when i was alone at home
and listening to headphones
i'll still drink in public
but alone
at Marleboune...

a new lease on life...
took a different route than my usual
using the stop ahead
of the crowd
going back to Preston Road
on the Metropolitan Line
then ahead to Liverpool St
and perhaps chance the express Greater Anglia
two stops to Romford
otherwise speeding to Shenfield
and then onto Southend

Diamond Boy Diamond Boy said this one
Leeds fan...
another promised me to jug jug down a pint
of beer
before me and then kissed my clenched
fist with a wet kiss of charcoal ego of the sun

now  i feel the love of humanity
like it's a welcome burden
it truly can be i can allow myself to differentiate
the good from the bad
only today i passed a man
lying with head exposed on the pavement
outside Romford station
to later come home
and find him sitting in decent clothing
and temporarily homeless
because clearly he broke someone's heart
and not all rough sleeping
is a horror but the same sun and same
moon in the sky
and by so transient and glass like
to the everyday mirror be behold
those homeless men peering at themselves
in glass
to those homed and baron with silver spoon born
looking at themselves
in mirror
and even in the future now of the photograph
and movie and what used to be the arena
of the artist's self-portrait...

                   more in the idea of riding
my first worm of steel
if any myth the metal worms of the geology
of a planet equivalent to a desert sea...
yet in the ultra cold
less the fiction of Dune and more the Reality-Mars...

but the original plan is to travel
to Poland to get a driving license...
then probably buying a cheap car
and travelling alone across Europe...
that's more realistic
than anything concerning Edie as far as i am concerned
that is finished...

i saw Warren send heartheartheartheart
emojis...
out *** has returned to quick(s) and quirps
and talking points
we still have talking points of wonder
and bewilderment
but i know: those several days have been long
and thorough on the observant i

Mary Le Bon! that's it!
i found her...
                 she was hiding in my favorite places
of London
less a trainspotter but but but
more an aesthetic appreciator
notably when it comes to the London Underground
but more so
i wondered there are poems plastered across
the worms
and people get bored and sometimes even read
or rather start to write not having
read enough to bury gems among rocks...
better still
the aesthetic of the Bakerloo Line
a living museum in transit...
please do not update the Bakerloo Line
petition.... 1st signature: X
please do not update the Barkerloo Line
the Jeckyll and Hyde Station that is Baker Street
while sorry:
Sherlock Holmes will have to move
in with Shakespeare's Shylock somewhere
on Bond Street...
to give us James, King and Country...

                         but Mary Le Bon station is just
another weird ******* beautiful
ginger cat story
especially after having your hands kissed

but a holiday like that
to live a life my uncle should have lived
but instead didn't
probably he didn't love just yet
a woman who could perform both
******* and absolute freedom all at once
by every ounce of one more once
and how this memory and her as memory
will mold me i don't know
but if i'm not seeing women differently
then i don't understand why women are
looking at me differently...

i do wonder: the CCTV rat network
and couple in the cult of the soap opera...
well: mismatched with a football sulk hug-out
of a ghoul: pelican -
if i can't solve be-done crossword
puzzle i think i just wrote
a question:

football sulk hug-out
of a ghoul: pelican -

          i.e. a hooligan:

   ave maria ave maria
now i want to understand christianity but only via christ
or perhaps
socrates' life through his ****** sons?
and the younger argumentative seller of **** potions
of a wife?
well:
perhaps islam can be understood through Maria...
just saying:
lost - no annals of children of christ
although i'll admit: i'd like to see a book made up
of little words and little nouns
with no names of people and no history...

              for the aesthetic...

but a holiday for myself...
getting a license and exploring further further
that only oar and boat could
but couldn't solve on Kauai
and no Polynesian dream then
but such good ****... it wasn't about the ****
although that was a learning curve
away from the brothel...
a ******* was nothing like having ***
with this woman,
this fruit of carnage from apple juice
to cider of 55 springs moisturized...
into a glowing Aladdin's rub rub rub rub rub
*** up blind
hurt
definitely hurt

definitely a life ahead of me
still talking to parents
about relationships
and opera
and they seemingly know i'm planning
a solo trip and
this trip alone
no i'm not going back to Ilona
come on
some new treaty of not from Versailles
but adventures with cats
the two gingers will gang up
on that brutal thung
who is ****** himself into a spirit
of the culled pets
who have not been given the snip
yes
pets
pets can be given special treatment
as pets
as petted-animals
only if there is the imposed cruelty
of castration
leaving the best genes in a harem pool
which doesn't translate into humanity
employing this already human maniability
of: cats and dogs replaced
angels and demons
because they could become more real

i have a life here too
i don't mean
a girl wants to live in London type of life
whereby i meet my dad for
a football match and we patch up
on our commute but ****'s going
wrong and the conversation drops off
as: we can't relate
by the glass wall of people gorging
on burgers at the Five Guy's of Baker Street:
genius marketing think-tank of solo-tank
periodical that ought to be
written about:
because saved up so much on adverts....
just glass and people eating
best "anti-AI" advert
because it's also a real place... ha ha...

                   yes....
on Kauai i'd experience true schizophrenia:
premature dementia...
what i experienced as god
in my 20s early beginning at 21
was probably me readying myself to the future
that would encompass me aged
38
her being 56
me fulfilling all my wanking
******* watching fancies and fetishes
oh god this was anti-Oedipal
seriously she looks nothing like my mother
oh my god
she was like
a breach of justice for me being attracted
to black and asian girls...
Sudanese though... now you have me curious...

concerning Ilona but there was
not real breakdown because of her
no... even when i remember it now
she was a ghost
i was 21 and my peers were seriously afraid:
this has nothing to do with Edie
we live several lives apart
i mean she throws away Depeche Mode vinyls
while i collect them
and now
i think i'm so calm and the breakup was
so amicable in my mind
that i know that i want something more
and this argument is not based on who used who
or who gained what
we gained and lost some time...
that's it...
we gained and lost some time...
could i would i should i...
first two yes
but on count of three?         no... *****: me just a man-child:
no sorry mate...

       ha ha: sorry mate...
middle aged women still desperate
are only allowed Harry Styles...
last time i heard the butch-*****-slap was single:
a name a persona
i know his tenderness does not speak
FREAK PR HERNANDEZ gaPPa...

i experienced something with Promis...
of the three names:
Promis, Ilona, Edie..
these are my free...
what? how many i ****** like the ****
actually meant a hug?
do i want, to?
don't think so...
but if i'm 3D and i'm currently 38
and i have no ring on my finger
and i'm still to have a driving license
because i preferred
horses and bicycles
to traffic jams and M25 songs by Chris Rea
and Grandma
and the sexuality of pedophiles as
as i die he will **** you
and **** Reylah
then yeah
you have, dear Edie... dementia on your side
and brain-freeze on my side:
oh so Martin my mother's brother
is ******* "JARGON" TO YOU?!
EDIE! *******!
******* EDIE!
FOR TREATING MY MOTHER'S BROTHER
AS SIMPLY MY UNCLE!
******* EDIE!
*******!

f.y.f.r:n.t.y.

for your future reference: no thank you.
you ******* north americans
and your shenanigans of acronyms...
******* too! you Ginsbergs and Olsons...
you shoved Ezra into a mental
asylum...
he's the only sane America left...
and the joke being:
he's the DEAD, SANE, AMERICAN...

******* America...
i think i retain my Europe...
well 2000 years of yids...
tickled by Mongols and Turks
who aren't Arabs...
so it's not we didn't like in Serbia
side by side
i don't understand this awe-shocker
who's who and who done what?

it's a... LIFE PROJECT
or a life projection
me?
i've been readying myself for this
break-up
since i was 21
i didn't experience god
i experienced this break-up
in advance:
and no i was not out on a look-out
for a replacement model
this was my epitome
my va va voom
my all **** and all thigh
girl
this was my girl we're talking
about
i mean my EX
like something out of her
sprouted in me...

like i was never a guy for dating apps
but poetry website ruined that
avenue for me
never a poetry website
relationship
not come to think of it
i can replace the bicycle and the horse
for the car

standing on my feet for 12h
it feels comforting
to kneel and "break the shins"
because sitting down
is a fake comfort
to be honest,
kneeling best
after 12h of standing...
this dodge-god giddy style
like i envy the possessors
of both wings and tails,
regardless of halos and horns...
regardless...

wish you were here
with a question, an exclamation mark,
colon, full-stop:
pinkish piglets in a yellow ring of fire
so so
calm
i managed to speak human with the crowd
from Leeds
i think i need to head outside of London
maybe even move to these lands
and accept: goosebumps 2nd or 3rd spring
chicken...
or see an opera or a musical
with me and
at the same time take off all that make-up,
or are you too afraid?
i can understand fear:
but there's a you in between
that conjures the fear of you
and the horror that's you...
how far part
in geo-psychology
is woring: OF from THAT'S...

i ask out of sincerity but no sicerity
here if there's talk of sardines
and the itchy train
and Dover my point of entry
and not Southampton...
because Devon, Heavenport,
some made-up thingy-madzit...
Sir Majid
like aging guitarists
a Layla on the ukulele...
   **** tested sweaty *******...
salt to sprinkle salt to sprinkle...
like goosebumps with an itch:
hard to thrill the... breeze...

                 all these hazards of trees
in the stretching cats before snooze
squeeze: extending by parameter
and parameter and no excuses
for a bad hair day...
all the fringe and paws
like i some vague hello and a vogue of
goodbyes
in the grey and silence...

what bothered me was her reaction
to my mother's brother
and that's what ended it for me,
like my mother could never possibly
have a brother...
like it would forever be
her and her daughter and her mother....
and some future nuisance of
inheritance tax of a sister
from the same mother but a different father.

w. h. auden said that only the Hitlers of the world
wrote at night,
but Bukowski only wrote at night:
oh, oh the horror of writing during the day
and not laboring as an understudy of being
and doing: an electrician electrical- (respectively):
just this flimsy dealings of language
and love of curbing enthusiasm...
wayward to Victoria and Ukraine with
a monstrous face: succulent smiles...
    almost like the finish touches to Ezra Pound's
cantos:
because i giggle and lay in the garden
with my arm folded into a pillow:
this darkly grey humid Augustus' month allure:
poetry is to paint with sounds...
i sometimes see it: i sometimes don't:
i do say when people are poorly organized
and i see a ****** painting...
but writing during the day is like the antithesis
of carpe diem... truly:
only i but soon enough: not even me:
will know that writing is best done by candlelight
and alone and with no one awake in
the household so
that it doesn't feel like you're robbing them
of their thoughts...
will i ever reach the tides of Kauai:
*** as leverage:
a woman in my past once did that:
tried to leverage the whole point of conversation
with ***...
shackle me, domesticate me...
i am domesticated on my own terms:
i cook what i like to eat,
i don't like fussy eaters of cheese maniacs:
what i wouldn't do to be
like this child and eat dry pasta...
i knew a guy for 10min's worth of a train ride
who confused coffee grains for chocolate:
he attempted to head over to Edinburgh
for the fringe festival and tell a few bad jokes...
me: alone... how else...
rolling metal pellets from a balcony into my mouth...
they might still be in my body:
i don't know whether you can ****
out metal...
but this does feel like an after-party poem
from the one i already provided:
journalistic entry:
i listen...                            i don't necessarily
have to see: well:
at least not see with both eyes to go
all cross eyed...
with two eyes i can enter the underworld of the sea
but with only one eye
i get to play hide and seek with the ridge
of my nose...
barbarians they said:
but how intact was their veneration for the tongue
and letter...
that the Prose Edda are: still intact
and at least that's more than what the other Nomads
disclosed!
why bother ourselves with these Books
of a People who can't be bothered
to lift up a toilet seat when *******
and instead **** on the toilet seat:
for someone, "someone" to later come
and curse needing to take a ****
having a dry wipe of the seat
but then imagine worm parasites that travel
in ***** to osmosis birth themselves
into the ****-cheeks, huh?!
******* camel jockeys and the Halal sheep
shaggers!
huh?! and this concept of a queue:
so i barked out: mate?! you see this?!
is this something ******* imaginary?!
you in the special orbit of bypassing how people
organize themselves or what?!
so you're telling me we're not queuing?
you can just bypass this meager architecture of
a human scribble of timing out from
a workplace?
wow! wow! the ******* Islamic tinged ignorance
like the story of how one ******
Esau gave up his birthrights for a bowl of
******* gravy... or whatever it was:
i don't like the sacrosanct attitude of these desert
nomads...
what about the nomads of Polynesia and
the nomads of Scandinavia:
where ontology was intact:
knowledge of good and evil was ontological(y)
intact:
where these people knew instinctively:
they weren't confused Sodoms and Gomorrahs...
we don't need the Arabs and the Hebrews
to tell us that pig is bad but their morality
is intact by metaphor alone...
**** them!
if the Jews think that by resurrecting Israel
they can flood Europe with their cousins
they can have this day...
this day...
                             which might feel like a hundred years
but i have no respect for people
who **** on toilet seats: the ******* audacity:
these, ***** ******* rag bags
***** skin not white piglet not glistening mahogany
chocolate of fatty fruits of Kenyan nights
by the Indian sea...
this fading hue of diarrhea semi-brown toilet paper
complexion...
yes: not Japanese porcelain...
i'll be a racist homophobic:
PTSD victim-hood mentality scruple...

           **** on the toilet sea and who wouldn't be?!
am i to sit on that?!
dig a hole in the ground and let those
***** ******* just squat and **** and ****
simultaneously like pigeons!
is anyone going to laugh about this
testament to the concerns for hygiene?!
i'm so ******* hygienic that i was allowed
to have unprotected *** with prostitutes
and ha ha
having unprotected *** with prostitutes
i didn't catch a single batch of chlamydia!
or anything...

i don't even know where these people are from:
not a word of English on these shores
is like burning Shakespeare or Dickens
and the intelligent ones
will probably call this a passing...
              but not like this: these people would
have no abode in either Poland or Russia:
since, at least in Poland:
the very fabric of existence: language:
was once undermined and even suppressed
by injection of German and Russia...
but fair enough...
the 3 partitions of Poland
and the one implosion of the British Empire...
if that's how empires implode:
then i adore the French implosion more at least
no chance of a ninja habit of:
girl...                pretty is pretty but such masked
a culture clash
how about i don a balaclava?
but such a waste of a day writing during the day...
oh i think the *** is such a distraction:
i think i was only the tool
to ensure
that her mother left and she could have
the home to herself on beautiful Kauai...
i was never going to get any involvement in raising
Reyla...
it was a lovely daydream:
just like at the beginning of the shift
i was talking about:
well... if i were in power:
i would stretch the law enforcement even further:
i would ban the selling of alcohol at all football events...
it wouldn't just be:
no drinking of alcohol in view of the pitch...
no selling of alcohol at any football event...
rugby yes cricket yes
but not football:
if, it is, such, a... ******* "beautiful" game...
why even think you can appreciate it with alcohol
can't see it like chess
like a mind and intellectual excavation project
away from the everyday soap opera of being
married to a woman?
doubly numb mind ****?!
seriously... so drinking alcohol while going to see it
live is... carousel and instead of 22 ballerinas
and 3 cosmonauts in black
you have double vision and 44 button holes to
later simply pretend to sing about?
Arsenal has origins in Woolwich:
it's not north London and there's no Tottenham Hotspur
competition...
Millwall is also south London and founded
by Scottish dockers...
i don't understand why everyone hates Millwall:
i ******* hate the West Ham welders and
other iron workers...
or maybe i just love the Scots more than
these Saxon-Gaelic pillagers...
because once Rome retreated from these isles...
          Rome never even bothered the people of the Vistula:
even though they knew about us:
they didn't bother to spread their message
that far:
            maybe we were a wholesome people
and not like the tribes of what would become Germany...
i'm only writing this because i think
that i've forgotten something...
apple... bread and wine...
shot of ***** and a flick of ash from a cigarette...
no tree no serpent just the womb
and the fetus...
                 Olympic way at WEmbley
and the crowd leaving and me like the ***** to be born
rushing through the crowd...
Barker Street: my favorite underground station,
Bakerloo: my favorite line:
i rarely use it: but they kept it vintage...
i don't know how long they will keep the Bakerloo vintage...
they kept the District Line vintage for a while:
but then they replaced the AEC routemasters...
next thing to go are the... 1972 STOCK:
i don't know how long this line will work...
Taylor: your love of London is probably just my London
and i want to leave but i don't
and i would leave but i'm only 38, 39... em...
can't remember: not 40... not 40...
and what... ******* to an island in the Pacific
with a population of 60,000...
your concerts drew in 94,000 each night
and it's not that i would ever talk to every soul:
point being...
*** is a short leverage: like lies...
*** is the best lie...
*** is a lie while the truth is the child:
and clearly: there's no talking point
concerning the child:
since the child is so incubated and would later
become what?
the warning i've been hearing?
oh: i'm not familiar to her, yet:
then one touch and prison
because a lost temper and now: voyeurism...
if you work under c.c.t.v. scrutiny you can
hardly relax privately:
but i've experienced *** being utilized against me
and i don't like being manipulated like that...
so the expectancy that with enough time:
what is this muddle:
have i lived enough to now suddenly
retire on that beautiful isle and
forget the world but at the same time
the world doesn't require remembering it:
not by me not by anyone: just doesn't...
but i did mention it...
no alcohol at football games in England...
none... forbidden...
it's sport... no? so why would you go to a sports
event and pretend to enjoy it
then later return home and play video games?!
oh i drink: i drink to elevate
the experience of music and to fall asleep
and to relax...
alcohol just doesn't agree with these football fans...
the alcohol disagrees with them:
you need to find something that aligns
with you...
you can abuse it: but to the good intent...
intellectual explorations...
but such pacifying hostility simply because you
want to escape the opposite ***...
jeez...
                  it did help that i frequented
a brothel and once a strip bar in Athens...
all these healthy children (i am implying
14 year old almost fully formed females,
in Medieval times the kings would have had their
way)... but that's what i thought:
**** *** but a face of a child:
oh...            hmm...                  what a healthy child.

Muhammad? fear a man with library of only one book? Muhammad? fear a man with only one woman as his aide... Muhammad: forgo the envy of Solomon... Jews are Jews: Mohammad: don't displace your dyslexia against the poet... Muhammad... fear the man: with only one woman... here! have my library: you will be a welcome son, the geek... the freak.. Muhammad... i give unto you: my library. now... to higher lessons! the flies are mad: Muhammad: Mucha: fly... mad in English: son of Beelzebub... you are not quiet old enough to claim a higher status against Christ... sorry... fear a man with only one woman and a library of books... scare yourself Muhammad: by way you become... who wrote the Quran if not the literate queen of Arabia business woman KHADIJAH... who wrote the Quran... who can complain about Islam the nest of chemistry and wasps... when the second world war climaxed... and the dead sea scrolls and the nag hammadi library was unearthed: and Islam became a liberal **** cammunist alliance of delusional people in a temporal displacement: Islam became ******! in a monotheistic system you can't tease polytheistic agonies: not drawing a picture of your prophet is just part of the problem: in a monotheism there is only the god and the prophet: but you are claiming that... there will be a protagonist and an antagonist... a dajjal: and a mehdi... and a jesus... sorry dear brothers: you reverted to a type of polytheism of the intellect: that the Christians don't have and the Jews are confused about, given their story of having experienced God en masse but then reverting to the sacrilege of the golden Taurus... sorry Islam: there is no monotheism without the god of individuals and the individuation of individualism as man and satan as his aid: the prosectur... satan is real and i have struck a deal with him: i enstrusted some affairs of my mortality with him: i trust him... satan: be my shadow... 8:33 Mark... Matthew 16:23... no... don't get behind me, adversary a self twin: did George Orwell invent DOUBLE-THINK? or did i, i forgo rereading books... i know of group-think, or right-think, or political-correct and i know of diversity: but i want to live among Polynesians i don't want to live among other Asians... curse me! be my shadow, satan: i'll befriend you: you be my prosectur in living hours while i'll be your lawyer: guardian, defender in the afterlife... how's that sound? is that a pact? you be my prosecutor in my living hour while i'll guard your defence in the afterlife?

i blacked out writing the poem: thrice?!
am i to be reincarnated a third time?
must it take three times?

Nietzsche ****** and Me
or Jesus Christ
John Coffey... like the insinuation
was:
who did the... Ezra: are you listening?!
i will tell you story
of America
as you came to learn
the history of Europe:
look where we are: Ezra...

i get told at work i'm the boss
i'm the G
and that works just fine:

i don't mean the spontaneous
combustion of ape
from what ape did the semi-ape
reject the bridge: the Erasor bridge
of wonders
what genocide we
did: against each other
that both ****** and Genghis Khan
are pale reminders...
i saw it in the eyes of a homie
i doctor from Poland:
a Kafkaesque poem of a character
so rigid in his cell
unable to practice medicine
mediocre crab bucket master
from Poland...
ooh: i revelled in his soul
as i then ate it...
and sacrificed nothing of my own:
no cleaner death
than the theft of soul...

... depends on how a rich people become:
Japanese are very rich
but very dented: weird: OSAKOHARAKI!
a civil contract:
there was this issue at work
father two sons
father old **** me beyond competing
with your boys:
so... their ******* grandmother...
ended up parting with him
imitating a lost *******
"lost"...
and shrivelled ****...
who was that guy who walked into
Japan's suicide forest and posted
selfies of a dead body
hanging from a tree? Logan: not Wolverine...
that character is the Anti-Christ...
Logan Wolverine is the Christ
and Deadpool the Antichrist...
so the New Testament was like
a speeded up version of the old testament:
like quick: the Jews are needed
to relocate into Europe
advance the European people through
greek slumber of Heraclitus utter:
the will to strife: becomes the will to strive
and in that transformation
comes the power: to will!

-

if men are from Mars and have to do:
in order to be
while women are from Venus and simply be:
in order for things
to happen around them:
so... not enough trees?
i can compenstate a story of a woman
with a story of a cloud, or a tree:
i see fish in the sky:
these swaths of underwater life:
i don't need to seek monsters
among the stars
trap myself with gods
and aliens and machinery
that there is: signatures of life
upon the sky:
done so somehow:
CELESTIAL  CHEMISTRY:
can you study the clouds for me...
can i make these semi-astronauts?
can you please study the earth
a bit better...
i don't need to put my flag on the moon:
perhaps for mining purposes...
i need someone to study the oceans
and the clouds...
not predictors and engineers of
people living in tornado
and hurracan avenues...
i want people to study clouds
and if i'm wrong about clouds being
the representation of how much
life sooths the point of preserving
a consciousness of existence:
as mobile as possible:
if we are to challenge ourselves to a post-existentialist
boxing match...
we have the arenas...
the observant 3rd Wave Migration Project...
but this pencil neck pusher of a "doctor":
how does social benefit work:
i delusional in thinking
i write these words for free while
getting the cRown's Employment and Support
Allowance:
i made it quiet plain:
i will dutifuly due this personalised propaganda
piece:
but only if i pretend to be mad
or at least understand madness:
yes i will become a bouncer
a poet-bouncer...

war has changed: it's all on informational bias
and basis of confrontation with comics
counter movies:
left comic books with the people who
didn't understand Nintendo and Atari and Comedore...
i can will people to
will me:
four days with crab pinching at my liver...
Oasis reunited: i talked
about Taylor Swift's bussiness model for
about 3 weeks...
subtle mimic of the Abba arena montage?
testing the real with fakery?
en masse as humans we do that:
fake it until you make it: pinch pinch:
crab clutter and pincer cluster...

this ****** is from Poland... Michal SZCZ'RZ... whatever
and... only now the ***** start climbing
out the bucket on dead bodies
of their fellow countrymen? Katyn: deserved to
have happened...

i was cannibalising my liver with anger:
it didn't hurt: as a male
my neuroticism is not a feeling
but a sensation: that's how men and women
differ:
how far have you fallen:
so abridged on the cross...
such fiction: climb down... dear actor:
we need now only to pretend who
directs the intellect behind
a Christ and the Green Mile:
Mile End:
two favorite stations of London:

Baker Street
   & Liverpool Street...

those are two of my favorite stations
Gants Hill: **** it...
that's my most stable port
no confict...
and two favorite lines:
the District and the Metropolitan lines...
Green and Claret:
no not Bakerloo Khaki...

with the power: to will:
i can... finally go beyond good and evil...
via... Jacob had the stairs leading
up:
me? i want to go into the Nevad... the Nevad...
the neverending will to understanding:
to return as a knowing creature...

the person who discovered Coca Cola
was Dr. John Stith Pemberton....
so no Jefferson, plague: pardon: so true...
but the owner:
the carbonated caramel drink
on one mile green...

i ask the question: a knocking on the floor:
an old man can't own up
to once being young...

*******... search engine: i saw what i was looking
for in the first place
it wasn't the pharmacist
it was someone wearing a boater...
  hat: not a kippah:
how there was a period of imitating Jews
and then came the Weimar Vanity
like the current Waking no Hour project
that is not so much viable as hetrosexuality
is being Apocalyptyically Undermined

just before sleep:
i think that's how you compenstate not reading
the book: adapted into film...
you have to rewatch the movie
with cut-off points...
today i finally managed to finish
watching the Green Mile:
i forget and forgot:
simultaneously...
to forget and i forgot...
pronouns can play such a crucial
problem for idiots who don't understand
grammar:
and how that sentence alone
proves the points that pronouns
are not... well: it's not like anyone
in Poland decided to
tear down the chimneys brick by brick...
of Auschwitz...
that argument no argument ad hoc cna still
be made...
how i utilize a pronoun is how
COGITO ERGO SUM exists...
withouth a mouth's full of ego...
                  these people are struggling...
i'm not making fun of them
these people are on the cliff's edge of understanding:
the great gap:
so the samurai chimpanze
and the wrestler gorilla
and the philosopher orangutan:
would have been as wise
or stupid:
for the slave trade to exist:
we only exported the idiot strength to
conjure America
and jazz was somehow just happenstane
to break from folk:
rememeber the rulers never used to have
music...
there were only deliberations
and tactics: talk talk...
rulers only discovered music via the classics
words congested into sounds...

the poor had music:
watch titanic...
look at how music is utilized...
when the Titanic sank...
rich people don't understand music:
no: rulers: don't understand music:
music is irrelevant:
apoligies Nietzsche:
from a pinched liver
to a sea of saliva and a toothache from
an iceberg... of a tooth...
it's not that i dropped the word rich...
without music life would make
no sense?
depends who you are within the confines
of music:
just a passive listener:
a Wagner's ******* and applause?
or are you...
the night-walker-night-eater...
i walk the night in order to eat it:
so as to illuminate...

   i have to conjure the German equivalent...
nachtwanderernachtesser...
            the green mile: i wouldn't mind
a... no no no...
all that is grand: the healing the feeding
of the people with two fish...
but... turn the other cheek?!
seriously?! can't you feel the earthquake
the dissonance: so otherwise,
law is a gimmick of oculus per oculus?
just take, *****! take it!
but no crime committed:
with persuasion a quake:
enough in the Green Mile to understand
the New Testament...

so we psychoanalyzed for a bit
while i waited for her to snore
and me allowed to not have *******
but who ****** these **** apes
that somehow man was spawned:
inferior in the capacity of body
to thus be injected these mutant harms
that also gave us
geniuses and the football crowd
of tribalistic men:
who ****** the monkey?!
who ****** the monkey?!
who ****** the monkey in order to create
the Key of Mammon...
this is a question of an angelic rhetoric-truant-theology

: well film:
sure... you can remedy not reading a novella:
thinking: it's Madame Bovary:
a long... a long novella...
but you can endure watching a film
based on a Novella:
if there is a screenplay...
and a movie to go with it...
i'm seriously underappreciative of Stephen
King...
i'm surprised that Noam Chomsky didn't
collaborate with Stephen Segal:
no no... forgot his name... Schindler's List:
oh: now i see it: Schinlder...
no... wait: lost the name: so maybe famous then...
but it's unlike Dune and
Lord of the Rings...
you can't exactly make a movie adaptation
of a book that dense...
i can show you a picture: teeth mould on the first
volume of Dune:
i want to get to Leto's narrative:
but the films made it impossible:
now if i want to read the novella for
Green Mile or the Shawshank Redemption:
i will not feel for persecuted by the film adaptation:
it will be unlike anything else:
i will be seeing the SKETCH:

herkunftgeschichte...

such a beautiful Friday night...
i don't need to bounce off people
and soulless:
but i can boa digest a soul of a Kafka
doctor narrative...
because i can: from the 28th that's
three days later:
my liver feels punched into a pouch
of resemblance to *****:
something necessary...
the binary of kidney:
can live with only:
but only one heart: one mind:
can live with one eye...

therefore the fractions are wholes
and fractions:
even numbers and fractions...
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 3 5
2 4 6
                                just thinking about what
five books to bring with me to Kauai...
Bertnard Russel's magnum opus...
Ezra Pound's Cantos? no! no! i'm in the middle
of writing a reply...
i still: blinked: who wasn't the pharmacist:
         Albert Hofmann's reinvention of the bicycle
in squiggly lines
too confined to brush on white a black
with color...

i see a resonance of red against blackness eaters
then flashes of green
in c=lage:
o=
             i see two wheels
working simultaneously...
0())(
and o=

                    now i see a poem
that could have been
now i see a poem that is:
and is to no ryhme:
and rhyme to the rhye of what is...

22:13....
i just forgot to party like an extrovert
and it's a Friday
and the metropolis is hungry
andf slaughter
is to be had...
but a girlfriend...
now wouldn't that be nice...
i forgot to put the music
but cycling is so different
in the gutter like the Jews
told to walk in the gutter
but i'm thinking:
what Darwinistic Sense Opt Out
we are surrounded
by the finalised testimonies of Evolution:
the fact that Ortangutans are
becoming extinct...
Earth is like the AustraliA
they just dumbed the idiot on this planet
retards: they i.e. us:
of the highest kind...
dumped us on this planet
they called Australius Apus...

what a vanity project: what hurt pride
of the sadist:
just a solipsist all along...
sadism and masochism are variations
of solipsism:
in Cartesian terms:
the res cogitans is the solipsist...
the res extensa is the sado-******* complex
to match: the military-industrial
complex of the ******* U.S.of>A!
get your woke back
get your woke back:
daddy's going to war!