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1466

One of the ones that Midas touched
Who failed to touch us all
Was that confiding Prodigal
The reeling Oriole—

So drunk he disavows it
With badinage divine—
So dazzling we mistake him
For an alighting Mine—

A Pleader—a Dissembler—
An Epicure—a Thief—
Betimes an Oratorio—
An Ecstasy in chief—

The Jesuit of Orchards
He cheats as he enchants
Of an entire Attar
For his decamping wants—

The splendor of a Burmah
The Meteor of Birds,
Departing like a Pageant
Of Ballads and of Bards—

I never thought that Jason sought
For any Golden Fleece
But then I am a rural man
With thoughts that make for Peace—

But if there were a Jason,
Tradition bear with me
Behold his lost Aggrandizement
Upon the Apple Tree—
Venus, when her son was lost,
Cried him up and down the coast,
In hamlets, palaces, and parks,
And told the truant by his marks,
Golden curls, and quiver, and bow;—
This befell long ago.
Time and tide are strangely changed,
Men and manners much deranged;
None will now find Cupid latent
By this foolish antique patent.
He came late along the waste,
Shod like a traveller for haste,
With malice dared me to proclaim him,
That the maids and boys might name him.

Boy no more, he wears all coats,
Frocks, and blouses, capes, capôtes,
He bears no bow, or quiver, or wand,
Nor chaplet on his head or hand:
Leave his weeds and heed his eyes,
All the rest he can disguise.
In the pit of his eyes a spark
Would bring back day if it were dark,
And,—if I tell you all my thought,
Though I comprehend it not,—
In those unfathomable orbs
Every function he absorbs;
He doth eat, and drink, and fish, and shoot,
And write, and reason, and compute,
And ride, and run, and have, and hold,
And whine, and flatter, and regret,
And kiss, and couple, and beget,
By those roving eye-***** bold;
Undaunted are their courages,
Right Cossacks in their forages;
Fleeter they than any creature,
They are his steeds and not his feature,
Inquisitive, and fierce, and fasting,
Restless, predatory, hasting,—
And they pounce on other eyes,
As lions on their prey;
And round their circles is writ,
Plainer than the day,
Underneath, within, above,
Love, love, love, love.
He lives in his eyes,
There doth digest, and work, and spin,
And buy, and sell, and lose, and win;
He rolls them with delighted motion,
Joy-tides swell their mimic ocean.
Yet holds he them with tortest rein,
That they may seize and entertain
The glance that to their glance opposes,
Like fiery honey ****** from roses.

He palmistry can understand,
Imbibing virtue by his hand
As if it were a living root;
The pulse of hands will make him mute;
With all his force he gathers balms
Into those wise thrilling palms.

Cupid is a casuist,
A mystic, and a cabalist,
Can your lurking Thought surprise,
And interpret your device;
Mainly versed in occult science,
In magic, and in clairvoyance.
Oft he keeps his fine ear strained,
And reason on her tiptoe pained,
For aery intelligence,
And for strange coincidence.
But it touches his quick heart
When Fate by omens takes his part,
And chance-dropt hints from Nature's sphere
Deeply soothe his anxious ear.

Heralds high before him run,
He has ushers many a one,
Spreads his welcome where he goes,
And touches all things with his rose.
All things wait for and divine him,—
How shall I dare to malign him,
Or accuse the god of sport?—
I must end my true report,
Painting him from head to foot,
In as far as I took note,
Trusting well the matchless power
Of this young-eyed emperor
Will clear his fame from every cloud,
With the bards, and with the crowd.

He is wilful, mutable,
Shy, untamed, inscrutable,
Swifter-fashioned than the fairies,
Substance mixed of pure contraries,
His vice some elder virtue's token,
And his good is evil spoken.
Failing sometimes of his own,
He is headstrong and alone;
He affects the wood and wild,
Like a flower-hunting child,
Buries himself in summer waves,
In trees, with beasts, in mines, and caves,
Loves nature like a horned cow,
Bird, or deer, or cariboo.

Shun him, nymphs, on the fleet horses!
He has a total world of wit,
O how wise are his discourses!
But he is the arch-hypocrite,
And through all science and all art,
Seeks alone his counterpart.
He is a Pundit of the east,
He is an augur and a priest,
And his soul will melt in prayer,
But word and wisdom are a snare;
Corrupted by the present toy,
He follows joy, and only joy.

There is no mask but he will wear,
He invented oaths to swear,
He paints, he carves, he chants, he prays,
And holds all stars in his embrace,
Godlike, —but 'tis for his fine pelf,
The social quintessence of self.
Well, said I, he is hypocrite,
And folly the end of his subtle wit,
He takes a sovran privilege
Not allowed to any liege,
For he does go behind all law,
And right into himself does draw,
For he is sovranly allied.
Heaven's oldest blood flows in his side,
And interchangeably at one
With every king on every throne,
That no God dare say him nay,
Or see the fault, or seen betray;
He has the Muses by the heart,
And the Parcæ all are of his part.

His many signs cannot be told,
He has not one mode, but manifold,
Many fashions and addresses,
Piques, reproaches, hurts, caresses,
Action, service, badinage,
He will preach like a friar,
And jump like Harlequin,
He will read like a crier,
And fight like a Paladin.
Boundless is his memory,
Plans immense his term prolong,
He is not of counted age,
Meaning always to be young.
And his wish is intimacy,
Intimater intimacy,
And a stricter privacy,
The impossible shall yet be done,
And being two shall still be one.
As the wave breaks to foam on shelves,
Then runs into a wave again,
So lovers melt their sundered selves,
Yet melted would be twain.
Muse méduse, vierge et tremblante séductrice
Tu m'as demandé de te conter fleurette
Avec des mots fleuris
Avec des mots obscènes
Une fois qu'on serait intimes
Des mots cochons
Des mots sales, crus, cuits et recuits
Des mots tabous, interdits
Indécents et lubriques
Et je t'ai demandé de me fournir un échantillon
Et tu m'as dit que tu n'en possédais aucun.

J'ai cherché en vain un mot qui pourrait te plaire à entendre,
Ma chérie miel
Et aussi bien me plaire à te murmurer à l'oreille
En plein badinage et tripotage
Quelque chose qui véhicule l'idée de muse
Et dans allumeuse il y a muse
Mais allumeuse n 'est pas cochon
J 'ai pensé à fille de joie, fille de vie, traînée, souillon,
Ma cochonne, ma gueuse
Obscènes d'un tout autre âge
Et c'est alors que j'ai entrevu un instant
De te chuchoter catin à l'oreille.
Catin ça fait penser à câlin c'est un avantage
Mais ça fait aussi penser à salope et ça je n 'ai pas trouvé très élégant,
Même quitte à ajouter merveilleuse juste devant,
Ni putain ni **** d'ailleurs, même avec magnifique ou tendre,
Je suis donc revenu en catimini à catin.
Catin de katharina la parfaite, de katharos, pur en grec
Catin de Catherine le diminutif
Ma petite muse catin à moi, ma poupée dévote orthodoxe
Et perverse juste à point comme j'aime
Catin precieuse comme Manon Lescaut, soprano
Et j 'ai laissé le mot tabou macérer dans ma bouche vile quatre jours et quart.
Un jour peut-être j'aurai l 'envie et le courage de te le dire en plein déluge.
Peut-être dans une autre langue.
En anglais par exemple strumpet, trollop, bawd
En portugais meretriz
En roumain cocota
En allemand wanderhure
Tu m'appelleras alors fripon, chevalier des Grieux, ténor,
Tu me demanderas alors de te chanter des chansons cochonnes
Sur des airs de Massenet ou de Puccini
Des chansons à boire, polissonnes
Que je te chanterai à tue-tête pendant l'acte.
Tu voudras me cravacher avec une plume de paon
Pendant que tu me monteras
Ou joueras à l'infirmière
On fera l'amour sur les bancs publics
Discrètement et sûrement
Et tu ne porteras pas ta petite culotte bleue
Imprimée de rares papillons morpho
On échangera nos fantasmes
Comme quand petits on échangeait nos images ou nos billes
Tout ce que nous n'avons jamais fait
Tout ce que nous rêvons de faire ensemble
On parlera de se baîllonner, de s'entraver, de s'attacher
de se mettre un bandeau sur les yeux
On improvisera
Tu seras Poppy la cosmonaute
Et moi E.T. le martien.
Tu seras Apollo VIII
Et moi Cap Canaveral
Obscènes et heureux
Complices
Nus et sincères et amoureux
Dans un voyage intersidéral d'aller-retours
Entre la Terre et la Lune
Saturne et ses lunes
En apesanteur
Pour deux éternités.
The sad saga
and brittle memories
for the cast and crew
of a sinking melodrama.

No badinage
their faces turned away
silent as secrecy
in the bright artificial light.

Rewinds of prototypes
of decaying greys
with visions
that glare at shadows.
1723

High from the earth I heard a bird,
He trod upon the trees
As he esteemed them trifles,
And then he spied a breeze,
And situated softly
Upon a pile of wind
Which in a perturbation
Nature had left behind.
A joyous going fellow
I gathered from his talk
Which both of benediction
And badinage partook.
Without apparent burden
I subsequently learned
He was the faithful father
Of a dependent brood.
And this untoward transport
His remedy for care.
A contrast to our respites.
How different we are!
Richard Riddle Jun 2015
'Twas a balmy summer evening, and a goodly crowd was there.
Which well-nigh filled Joe's bar-room on the corner of the square;
And as songs and witty stories came through the open door,
A vagabond crept slowly in and posed upon the floor.

"Where did it come from?" someone said, "The wind has blown it in."
"What does it want?" another cried. "Some whisky, *** or gin?"
"Here, Toby, sic him, if your stomach's equal to the work -
I wouldn't touch him with a fork, he's as filthy as a Turk."

This badinage the poor wretch took with stoical good grace;
In fact, he smiled as though he thought he'd struck the proper place.
"Come, boys, I know there's burly hearts among so good a crowd
To be in such good company would make a deacon proud."

"Give me a drink -- that's what I want -- I'm out of funds, you know;
When I had cash to treat the gang, this hand was never slow.
What? You laugh as though you thought this pocket never held a sou!
I once was fixed as well, my boys, as anyone of you."

"There, thanks; that's braced me nicely! God bless you one and all!
Next time I pass this good saloon, I'll make another call.
Give you a song? No, I can't do that, my singing days are past;
My voice is cracked, my throat's worn out, and my lungs are going fast."

"Say! Give me another whisky, and I'll tell you what I'll do
I'll tell you a funny story, and a fact, I promise, too.
That I was ever a decent man not one of you would think;
But I was, some four or five years back. Say, give me another drink."

"Fill her up, Joe, I want to put some life into my frame --
Such little drinks to a *** like me are miserably tame;
Five fingers -- there, that's the scheme - and corking whisky, too.
Well, here's luck, boys! and, landlord, my best regards to you!"

"You've treated me pretty kindly, and I'd like to tell you how
I came to be the ***** sot you see before you now.
As I told you, once I was a man, with muscle, frame and health,
And, but for a blunder, ought to have made considerable wealth."

"I was a painter -- not one that daubed on bricks and wood
But an artist, and, for my age, was rated pretty good.
I worked hard at my canvas and was bidding fair to rise,
For gradually I saw the star of fame before my eyes."

"I made a picture, perhaps you've seen, 'tis called the 'Chase of Fame.'
It brought me fifteen hundred pounds and added to my name.
And then I met a woman -- now comes the funny part --
With eyes that petrified my brain, and sunk into my heart."

"Why don't you laugh? 'Tis funny that the vagabond you see
Could ever love a woman and expect her love for me;
But 'twas so, and for a month or two her smiles were freely given,
And when her loving lips touched mine it carried me to heaven."

"Did you ever see a woman for whom your soul you'd give,
With a form like the Milo Venus, too beautiful to live;
With eyes that would beat the Koh-i-noor, and a wealth of chestnut hair?
If so, 'twas she, for there never was another half so fair."

"I was working on a portrait, one afternoon in May,
Of a fair-haired boy, a friend of mine, who lived across the way,
And Madeleine admired it, and, much to my surprise,
Said that she'd like to know the man that had such dreamy eyes."

"It didn't take long to know him, and before the month had flown
My friend had stolen my darling, and I was left alone;
And, ere a year of misery had passed above my head,
The jewel I had treasured so had tarnished, and was dead."

"That's why I took to drink, boys. Why, I never saw you smile!
I thought you'd be amused, and laughing all the while.
Why, what's the matter, friend? There's a teardrop in your eye,
Come, laugh, like me; 'tis only babies and women that should cry."

"Say, boys, if you give me just another whisky, I'll be glad,
And I'll draw right here a picture of the face that drove me mad.
Give me that piece of chalk with which you mark the baseball score --
You shall see the lovely Madeleine upon the bar-room floor."

Another drink, and with chalk in hand the vagabond began
To sketch a face that well might buy the soul of any man.
Then, as he placed another lock upon the shapely head,
With a fearful shriek, he leaped and fell across the picture -- dead.
I was going to wait a couple of days, but, what the heck!
A W Bullen Feb 2021
My Kingdom
is a builder,s yard.

A Bethlehem
of measurement
of plasterboard and timbering.
An interwoven sepulchre
of garrulous vernacular.

Expletive-laden badinage,
our handle of the hardstand
is the character of companies
I keep.

And unto these
my time is priced,
my soul is planed,
my name is signed...

but
in the dark
of winter evenings,
watching ancient planets rise,

I contemplate the other lives
another me, might live...
Bethlehem- Bedlam
Addendum to title:
Boyhood Digs in Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426

Oft times forced exposure therapy spelled rustling quiet
Pyrrhic punitive onslaughts noisome moody linkedin kicks
jarring inxs harbored grievances foo fighting essence
denoting cannibalized august boy aghast to confront reality
returning home meant compromising autonomy
acceptable collateral casting leftist strides rite
constituting timid steps circumscribing childhoods’ end,
comprising reluctant trudge treading toward adolescence
where wold wide webbed magic ride
rode ruff shod o’er carped hooked
synthetic threads re: fibrous veld
whence extolled impressive footprints
measured triangular wedges rung duff feet
expediently dragged churlish badinage afoot
stretching across Scottish tartan
Harris Tweed unwelcome matt despite frustrated parents
whose vitriol unleashed tough-love,
smacked regularly quasi planned
threatened ultimatums venomous viz witches
yawping against my brand
falling out of good graces,
though hatching escape merely fanned
actions hightail me to bedroom, a secure space,
not exceptionally grand
yet despite rapacious and relentless rage
against the sole son, who hand
did lee managed inciting wrath
of me papa and late mama,
this parcel of land, now entombs nostalgia
namely 324 level road, Collegeville,
Penna, 19426 make believe pal Joey and this creator
passively succumbed to withstand
invisible jetblue lobbing onslaught of slingshot barbs,
wharf fear to rely on self way past primetime,
which solo endeavor didst demand
absent belief, confidence and faith in innate survival skills,
hence countless admonitions recurred
razed quest qua pursed lips
those who begat their only male heir,
provoking predictable panned
da moan he hum in tandem
with concomitant wickedness akin to eland
caught in cross hairs getting pistol-whipped
with many barking explicit derogatory gerund formed
expletives, that did not dislodge this immobile body electric
defying logic, now in retrospect clueless why I suffered to withstand
incessant verbal, venal, and n’er vampire weakened blows
inexplicable, how this soulful, ruminating,
and tortured walking wounded blithely weathered turpitude  
though devoid of sense and sensibility, how no man iz an island
though at times incontinent, where jocund this bard for’er opened
Pandora’s box, but hindsight softened cleft pride and prejudice
whereat bulldozed site of once grand “Glen Elm” tears me up inside
fading memories refreshed, via priceless gift
from beloved younger sister
unwittingly mitigated hammer blows of pain to confront the void,
whence away from obliterated complex edifice grief felt ******!
due to a congenital psychological affliction
hobgoblins joined human league averse tomb eye plaintive benediction
thence, this with mine jetblue skinny legs like a chicken
his (mein kempf) got dealt mortal (who gives a hoot) blow fish
   rem mains disintegrated by mailer daemons usurped dereliction
whereby sanity given eviction
in the subsequent fiction
that makes feeble attempt to evoke stricken gumption
where nihilistic thoughts rode rough shod to wreak humiliation
upon prepubescent initiation
whereby the antithesis of jubilation
kept the author (yes, yours truly)
   like a trapped mouse in a cat protected kitchen
where no cheeses cur heist could rectify or bring libation.
-------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------------          
   noah hide da what mailer daemon possessed this earthlinked live nada so hotmail to splutter so much persiflage.

   ye might well categorize the palaver as pure llama heaped dung attempting to sneak into yar consciousness as some esoteric badinage aspiring to convey that this doodler with words adroit with the english language.

bah hum bug
down the gullet went lethal drug
e'en without any farewell hug
after smacking lips polished off deadly drink from mug.

   Long fostered freedom last attained to exit silently this terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid during hulu heralded century21, which brought eternal senescent deliverance.

   life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and goodwill toward men/women served as a mere pretense extant the global arcade.

   nothing boot  charade, enfilade (albeit with limp poetic/prosaic pugnacious), facade, gilded hilariously inside *******.

  ever since he did start kick king lifelessly, his noggin oddly plunges quietly resting as a deceased shutter ring fly tonight under vaporous wisps.

   a somber mood prevailed amidst the cloistered silence imposed from - The burial of Matthew Harris
i.e. this faceless book earth worm member
joined the rank n file of his slimy brethren n cistern
   when a mortal male ceased to live one december

   The undertaker drew a deep breath.

   He exhaled little billows of cold air while awaiting the hearst carrying my lifeless body.

   Prior to death, I took special pains to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.

   A mossy glen with a mill by the pond of my boyhood swimming hole served like the ideal welcome mat for the return of this native son long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.

   Death struck unexpectedly while dodging the madding crowd jostling to get a glimpse of this renown author where fame seemed destined to track me down.

   As the advocate of countless essays on inalienable rights for all creatures large and small, no pause from the hounding local populace offered peace of mind.

   Until now!

   The prospect of dying never scared this non-believer.

   Cessation of consciousness essentially served completion of life in corporeal form and reconstituted physical being into grist for other organisms to flourish.

   Karma and the glorious unique characteristic that comprised each of our respective charisma, dogma, and persona (generally comprising an enigma to the world) absorbed after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.

    Brief occupancy on this terra firmae as inscribed in genetic code (merely a blink of an eye in the universal schema) gave this now deceased dreamer notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.

   One need not globe trot (and boast of espying exotic places), but could experience inner harmony by imbibing the present.

   Simple pleasures that abounded in the wild or evoked via the creative imagination of august writers supplied ample sustenance for satisfaction.

   Contemplative and introspective mien prompted Eros to be discerned in the grand canyon of Mother Nature in tandem with personal motive to indulge like-minded thinkers since the beginning of time.

   Any given day frequently found thoughts turning over every figurative jagged rolling stone when the grim reaper might spring a surprise visit, which metaphysical thought interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.

   Why?

   Upon termination of enjoying existence in living color, the eradication of this pet peeve of mine i.e. anxiety/ panic attacks interwoven with inxs of obsessive compulsive behavior would dissolve into the basic elements bread earth, wind and fire.

   No iota amount of matter marshaled of the non-entity dimension would assume command.

   Those former psychological trials would thence be relinquished from their parasite role and recompose cells of one mortal man (me) into matter to be recycled into raw materiel for other organisms to feast upon.

   Basic constituent cells of this **** sapiens would become necessary seeds for some other manifestation for plant or animal development.

   Go daddy maggots sans a fancy feast, a best buy per this former foo fighting beastie boy, whose nihilistic outlook promulgated within his in utero psyche.

   Gestation as an embryonic fetus, the potential live, googly eyed, earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy harbored no oshkosh bug gosh pinterest to remain in the world wide web of bad company,

     Hence. nothing could mollify ne measly mumble bling linkedin (albeit progressive matchless who unwittingly opened the redbox of Pandora.

   Molecular features would assume novel combinations thru said degradation of flesh, yet improvisation of biology would wield wasted corpse that once epitomized an articulate, civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate, kind male into novel marvels of unpredictable genus and species.
Despite countless factorial permutations
and combinations, this cyber surfer avails,
thumb thing with two alms
seeking succor asper sum er set Maugham
Mom mee **** sic cure human *******,
boot metastatic carcinoma snatched such balms
when tethered in utero umbilical connection,
etched bromide, which hankering calms
embryonic sensation this corporeal being lacks
constantly subjected to exams
                                             *         *         *       *
From the hard school of hard knocks
which I bewail sets espionage forcefully gloms
mine aim to revel in blissful contentment
but circumstances decrees otherwise
cursing this badinage collegiate chap tubby haunted
by veritable elfin grotto dwelling phantoms
hovering over sweet clove, his persiflage dials a mirage
somewhat shrouded in camouflage, and
yes...Iris sieve blurbs from gals and guys
that span the World Wide Web, and exude
                                                      *         *       *
Premature ejaculatory x2c, puzzled if fie
totally tubularly trod a tedious trek
along the boulevard of broken dreams
what happenstance oft finds thyself to flail
amidst difficulty to maximize
optimal opportunities searching for Holy Grail
or whatever constitutes such lofty
personal objective, perchance being hale
and hearty of body, mind and spirit
                                                      *         *       *
spurs the furies of fate tut test this primate
while he aims to gallop with mighty industrial
vim and vigor leaving a virtual cloud
of dust, though mindfulness helps
to pass go, and chance avoid jail
Time, then maybe monopolized feedback offered
to this toothless mwm quasi-vegetarian
enjoying poetry stone soup, yet also subsisting
on supplementary vitamin packed glue tin free
                                                      *         *       *
NON GMO fruity tall tales for a male
forty-two years shy sans Bing a centenarian,
which span of life best cut short with a nail
(possibly nine inches) hammered into
faux coffin, cuz this imp doth turn pale
At the prospect to fill up a space of land
best utilized by birds - such as quail
Mongoose, or ibis (though aye n'er saw
one), where cremated ashes sail
                                                      *         *       *
across some verdant plain under
cerulean skies putting to rest every travail
which thoughts of dem eyes spells
relief since homelessness -
the main impetus explaining this rambling spiel
the warp and woof ova gauzy veil
imperceptibly looms closer upon
turrets of my digital sea faring gun whale
and thus desperation finds pleading for salvation.
                                                      *         *       *
before mine danse macabre doppelganger draws dagger
   Punctures the skein tight as a yank key notched belt
housed within mine impenetrable hermetically sealed invisible bubble
   drapes with blackened Hades hued habiliment therein dwelt
sinister saboteur mastermind marauder of the Hubble
   piercing fiery ocular rift presence unseen but felt  
   demands sacrifice to traverse river Styx with unadulterated gelt        
which known phantasmagorical double
                                                      *         *       *
diabolical self amidst aftermath from Armageddon rubble
   astride charred global ruins entire civilization melt
planetary paroxysm prognosticated
   by Maya sages with 11th hour stubble
   birthed Darth Vader nemesis with evil upon earth he did pelt
annihilating mankind, the derelict species that fueled trouble
   hence evil twin appointed apocalyptic malevolence spelt
desiccation, humiliation, and laceration upon once verdant veldt
   With mass crematorium desecration left horrific blistering welt!
                                                      *         *       *
Countdown to **** sapiens extinction predicted millenniums in past
   to occur December 21 two thousand and twelve after common era
whereby catastrophic spark detonating inferno incinerating blast
   eradicating extant flora and fauna bereft sans hegira
with no means to interrupt the die since the dawn of civilization cast.
                                                      *         *       *
Impossible to escape ominous predetermined fate of human rat race
nor turn back hands of time with origin of species on clock face
thus ticking closer to hour of doomsday without faith to brace
allowing, enabling and providing Gaia to redeem terrestrial space
vestiges of teeming billions soon erased criminal minds without a trace
forcefully relinquishing simians planetary stranglehold amazing grace
proffering tabula rasa for another dominant species to claim the place.
                                                      *         *       *
Sirens promulgate emergency
   toward impending inescapable cataclysm
   yet no place to run or hide lest one boards a rocket light-years away
which makes suspense thrillers birthed by John Grisham
   enviable plot to keep total Earths’ destruction at bay.
                                                      *         *       *
This word maven count himself as a crowing lifetime americaonline
Meme bur hastens to convey dire
crisis sparking to offer electric nom de plume
Harris40tude a papa who did sire
deux darling daughters, yet for ages hive stung
with hurt early, whence fatherhood did fire
meow n childhoods' end fostering people
strangers even fork getting this communication,
per S0S sprinkled with auk shucks corny,
Egret - letting opportunities take flight aspire
now pleasures soft as gossamer feather bedding
down play hardened angst riddled psyche, where ire
                                             *         *         *       *
Ronny gully stubbornly thrives amidst adversity
   as father time spins gyre
row scope at greased lightening speed,
intimating with dead reckoning to hire
grim reaper, who **** patient as Job, and exemplary at ridding mire
and muck bogs down this dada robbing
existence with joie de vivre, where funeral pyre
doth flickr beckoning GoDaddy, cuz
Juno i haint gonna hear angelic choir
or equivalent enlightenment re:
   now more than ever with forebodings dire
yule lies zing pursuit of Nirvana starts with a smile, which tire
less upturn of lips panacea per stark
   awareness that zero control exists many a mile
from home sweet home, this atheist doggedly tire
so haim trying keep sea legs one step ahead of tipping point
envision self pitched into abyss - thus end of wire.
Blasphemy
and
what does the Holy See
say about it?

Nothing I could put into print,
them priest ain't skint
when it comes to verbal badinage
what with them being
au fait with bad language today,

when you mock
their reply is
'put a sock in it'

They only swear on the bible
according to a reliable source
in the Vatican,
but then again
sources
are liable to lie.

ps: Vespers ain't scooters either
Enfin échappé du danger
Où mon sort me voulut plonger,
L'expérience indubitable
Me fait tenir pour véritable
Que l'on commence d'être heureux
Quand on cesse d'être amoureux,
Lorsque notre âme s'est purgée
De cette sottise enragée,
Dont le fantasque mouvement
Bricole notre entendement.

Croîs-moi qu'un homme de ta sorte,
Libre des soucis qu'elle apporte,
Ne voit plus loger avec lui
Le soin, le chagrin, ni l'ennui.
Pour moi, qui dans un long servage
A mes dépens me suis fait sage,
Je ne veux point d'autres motifs,
Pour te servir de lénitifs,
Et ne sais point d'autre remède,
A la douleur qui te possède,
Qu'écrivant la félicité
Qu'on goûte dans la liberté
Te faire une si bonne envie
Des douceurs d'une telle vie,
Qu'enfin tu puisses à ton tour
Envoyer au diable l'amour.

Je meure, ami, c'est un grand charme
D'être insusceptible d'alarme,
De n'espérer ni craindre rien,
De se plaire en tout entretien,
D'être maître de ses pensées,
Sans les avoir toujours dressées
Vers une beauté qui souvent
Nous estime moins que du vent,
Et pense qu'il n'est point d'hommage
Que l'on ne doive à son visage.

Tu t'en peux bien fier à moi ;
J'ai passé par-là comme toi ;
J'ai fait autrefois de la bête,
J'avais des Philis à la tête :
J'épiais les occasions ;
J'épiloguais mes passions ;
Je paraphrasais un visage ;
Je me mettais à tout usage,
Debout, tête nue, à genoux,
Triste, gaillard, rêveur, jaloux ;
Je courais, je faisais la grue
Tout un jour au bout d'une rue ;
Soleils, flambeaux, attraits, appas,
Pleurs, désespoirs, tourments, trépas,
Tout ce petit meuble de bouche
Dont un amoureux s'escarmouche,
Je savais bien m'en escrimer.
Par-là, je m'appris à rimer,
Par-là, je fis sans autre chose
Un sot en vers d'un sot en prose ;
Et Dieu sait alors si les feux,
Les flammes, les soupirs, les vœux,
Et tout ce menu badinage,
Servaient de rime et de remplage.

Mais à la fin hors de mes fers,
Après beaucoup de maux soufferts,
Ce qu'à présent je te conseille
C'est de pratiquer la pareille,
Et de montrer à ce bel œil,
Qui n'a pour toi que de l'orgueil,
Qu'un cœur si généreux et brave
N'est pas né pour vivre en esclave.

Puis quand nous nous verrons un jour,
Sans soin tous deux, et sans amour,
Nous ferons de notre martyre
A commun frais une satire ;
Nous incaguerons les beautés ;
Nous rirons de leurs cruautés ;
A couvert de leurs artifices,
Nous pasquinerons leurs malices ;
Impénétrables à leurs traits,
Nous ferons nargue à leurs attraits ;
Et, toute tristesse bannie,
Sur une table bien garnie,
Entre les verres et les pots
Nous dirons le mot à propos ;
On nous orra conter merveilles
En préconisant les bouteilles ;
Nous rimerons au cabaret
En faveur du blanc, du clairet ;
Où, quand nous aurons fait ripaille,
Notre main contre la muraille
Avec un morceau de charbon
Paranymphera le jambon.

Ami, c'est ainsi qu'il faut vivre,
C'est le chemin qu'il nous faut suivre,
Pour goûter de notre printemps
Les véritables passe-temps.
Prends donc, comme moi, pour devise,
Que l'amour n'est qu'une sottise.
bass sic cully, plucking strings iz a ja
Cane Nines Har Able
   To Out Best playing cello yo yo Ma
so stated by this fretful pa

Ode per pooch pounding ruff
   sounding sub woofer.
Whew - all done taking a leak
   behind bushes of favorite vetch
tub bull patch so now,

   arf goes me dog gone
   bark a roll and ruff sketch
shod ye be least bit interested in this retch
in this faux paused muttering mongrel,

who (despite viscous rumors to the contrary)
nada a leech nor letch
boot actually quite a "good" fetch
and a fine prairie home companion –

even if yar tail got docked
   with out anesthesia by a pretty lass see
still...Yukon feel melancholy
nonetheless juiced buffer end me
like ya know throw
   a ***** en re:coe Fermi can catch.

Me - iz one hippie dawg,
who sports hair reed style like a veil
longish, and minimally groomed,
asper an antagonistic,
sans brothers Grimm tale

with no intent to rant nor rail
searching fur gallivanting
   female nursery rhyme minus a quail
boot...with jack and his pail,

which known storybook
   quite old as a rusty nine-inch nail
stating dogmatic, humanistic and lyric words
once adored by this older Socratic male

offers himself as a bona fide
   potential Petsmart call soul mate hale
and hearty without any major Def Jam ***** fail
yore, beardless yet scruffy,

   I wear spectacles rather bifocals bare
lee stay put on me snout
   to see the world more crystal clear
especially when chaste
   to impress a ***** in heat -

   like ye mud dear
whom height welcome
   letting me nibble on one or t'other ear
of yours, now trotting along on my yipping badinage
whim per with poetic trademark flair,

which doggerel seems unstoppable probably
from a malfunction milk bone shaped cerebral gear
aye attest trademark viz
   somewhat long wavy, course brown hair

might also involve well tangled follicular roots
affirming me to hear snapping jeer
ring boxer bullies, which floppy mop top in tandem
to firm undersized gluteus maximus or hmm rear
oft times incites other mongrels to stare

yet, the ability to camouflage
Ike **** sitter a bonus, akin to a camel lion
or if you prefer chameleon,
this trait stems when Aztec,
   my faux pas amidst Mayan

Runic ruins, where traipsing
   for long stretches of time
ah stopped to chat with Ryan
a local junkyard hound, which
   at human years over 100 keeps on tryin

to survive within
   dog eat horse meat world,
where canines sprang from wolverine zoo
and as a complete stranger introduced muss elf
as "man's best friend" to you

from a place in mind known as xandu
which could afford room enough for two
if ye would only stand or sit in this queue
similar to waiting in a cloistered pew

But better grab a place
   before places number few
from those who utter yabba dabba do.
I blithely admit not to be a stud
just a recent emigre hoisted himself out of the mud
from that antediluvian flood

like some garden variety muggle
   with a male member dud
but rather a regular bovine chewing his cud
and just wanna be a companionable bud.
no intent to be neither indecent nor lewd,

which rapid-fire reply
   helps my anxiety-riddled mood
unsure what level of interest exists
   toward this ordinary dude
for reasons and rhymes,
   i scratch my flea gnawed head and brood.
most people find my poetic attempts unclear

and get quite frazzled - with nostrils that flair
like some fire breathing dragon
   filled with rage and glare
all on account of human desire for friendship,

and some woman for me to care
which closeness worth
   far more than gems, jewels and trinkets
so...if a safe risk taking mood,
i would be interested for ye to share.

literary enjoyment and
   entertainment primary reason i write
from a little known wayfarer
that trawls the virtual seas this night

whereby my being pitched to and fro
which forces necessity
   to hold on with all me might.
care not for this playful male
ye seem quite desperate a guy to nail,

I could benefit from someone
to play the role of inxs bare naked lady
and super *****
   (ah bet she iz jist a cheap trick),
this jack rustle of no trades
   could enjoy a gal to hold his pale.
oh...fair and lovely princess

   in this surreal and virtual space
might thee put down the drawbridge
with mush ado of a quick pace
and no need to feign shock
   nor surround thyself
with defenses to brace
against some maliciousness on my part -

just a wandering troubadour able, eager, ready
willing to show his smart pedigreed fact sheet,
and maybe even other parts of his anatomy
with dignity and amazing grace.

Sangfroid persona makes joie de vivre
the perfect human to adopt, and more fun than a wii
ill that chased a monkey named zee
row, who aims tubby yar beau.
Former CIA Director
John Brennan scathing headlines
Washington Post op-ed sharply
published critical accusations

muted excoriation slams
Commander in Chief
volcanic blatant pathological lying
spews like lava his American

foreign policy boilerplate brazenly
bastardizes by banditry blueprint,
balefully balkanizing beautiful bracketed
booming brady bunch brand,

bests best-buy buffer braking balanced
bastion, bolstered beloved benighted
bequeathed bicameral bipartisan bliss,
Baptizing bacchanalian buffoonish bombast,

betokening bobble-headed Bumstead,
barmy bartered bride bravado, bizarrely
brash brassiness, blindsiding behavior,
beetlebrowed bonehead, bafflingly baldfaced,

bankrupting, blithely bollixing,
bombastically belittling, badmouthing,
banally blasting, banana-boat baseless,
bearish blandishments, beastly boastful

boosterism, bellicosely boorish, bug-eyed,
bighearted, bigoted blathering breeding
blunderbuss bloopers, bewildering
bloodletting bellyache blight,

brazenly being bandying bellwether,
blitzing bourgeoisie balderdash,
balking but beaming barbaric
berserk ballyhoo backbiting,

backslapping backstabbing
blacklisting bromides,
besetting basic bestowed blooming,
Bobbitizing bedeviling beneficial
bulwark bereft badinage, ballistically ballooning
betrayal birthing bedlam.
This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine

as a practiced po' wit, whereby this logophile
doth das scribe today June sixth, tooth
house sand and twenty two, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth

rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
prominently tickles one and/or booth

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
(asking what's up doc)
impersonator 'course I would unroll

welcome mat (a two seater)
roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator

three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero

with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,
signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem with humorous bent
quite aware acronym designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist

may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)
wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event
versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent
with honest to goodness intent.

After the above written
rhyme without reason poetic yawping,
I took much needed reprieve NOT
to exhaust mine laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.
Indentured gumption forsaken
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)

teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine
as a practiced po' wit,
whereby this logophile
doth das scribe today June sixth, tooth
house sand and twenty three, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative

slugger and word sleuth
rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
pretty please notice ingratiation
linkedin with mine being couth
prominently tickles one and/or booth
phunny bone of bunny rabbit.

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
(asking what's up doc)
impersonator 'course I would unroll
welcome mat (a two seater)

roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator
three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
to thee named Ingrid,

I proffer a family heirloom ingot
(worth about the same as fine spun gold)
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero
with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,

signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
devoid of sense and sensibility or riveting plot
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat
thus tis probably high time,
I mount my Clydesdale steed and happily trot
back to the house at Pooh's corner.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem
with humorous figurative bent
elbow quite aware acronym

designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist
may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)
wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event

versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent
with honest to goodness intent
and no self approbation, emasculation,
indignation, obfuscation, meant
against one singular heir a parent
whose fortune on credit card bills

and automobile loan he spent,
thus futile to beseech thee dear reader
for legal tender, filthy lucre,
greenbacks, et cetera cuz
series of unfortunate events
one charity case if appreciates
reading thru plaintive feeble vent.

After the above written
rhyme without reason poetic yawping,
I took much needed reprieve NOT
to exhaust mine laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.
Madame, vous étiez petite,
J'avais douze ans ;
Vous oubliez vos courtisans
Bien vite !

Je ne voyais que vous au jeu
Parmi les autres ;
Mes doigts frôlaient parfois les vôtres
Un peu...

Comme à la première visite
Faite au rosier,
Le papillon sans appuyer
Palpite,

Et de feuille en feuille, hésitant,
S'approche, et n'ose
Monter droit au miel que la rose
Lui tend,

Tremblant de ses premières fièvres,
Mon cœur n'osait
Voler droit, des doigts qu'il baisait,
Aux lèvres.

Je sentais en moi, tour à tour,
Plaisir et peine,
Un mélange d'aise et de gêne :
L'amour.

L'amour à douze ans ! Oui, madame,
Et vous aussi,
N'aviez-vous pas quelque souci
De femme ?

Vous faisiez beaucoup d'embarras,
Très occupée
De votre robe, une poupée
Au bras.

Si j'adorais, trop tôt poète,
Vos petits pieds,
Trop tôt belle, vous me courbiez
La tête.

Nous menâmes si bien, un soir,
Le badinage,
Que nous nous mîmes en ménage,
Pour voir.

Vous parliez de bijoux de noces,
Moi du serment,
Car nous étions différemment
Précoces.

On fit la dînette, on dansa ;
Vous prétendîtes
Qu'il n'est noces proprement dites
Sans ça.

Vous goûtiez la plaisanterie
Tant que bientôt
J'osai vous appeler tout haut :
Chérie,

Et je vous ai (car je rêvais)
Baisé la joue ;
Depuis ce soir-là je ne joue
Jamais.
David Plantinga Jul 2021
Badinage and Persiflage
Make such a merry pair,
Chatting and bantering all day.
No spiteful gossip there.  

Each goes without acquaintances.
Each has one single friend.  
As solitary sprites, they speak
Of words, without an end.
This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine

as a practiced whereby this word sleuth
doth das scribe today July twenty seventh, tooth
house sand and twenty, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth

rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
prominently tickles one and/or booth

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
impersonator 'course I would unroll

welcome mat (a two seater)
roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator

three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero

with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,
signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem with humorous bent
quite aware acronym designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist

may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)
wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event
versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent,

Who took reprieve NOT
exhausting his laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.
Tadmar Jelly May 2018
It was immaterial who had fired the first proverbial shot in the great Schenectady logomachy.
What was immediately clear, however, after the proverbial dust had proverbially settled
was that the battle had left no survivors.

Proverbially.

And what had begun as a simple ballot measure to rebrand the municipal mascot
had ended in the annihilation of every intellect in Schenectady County.
And much of the East, West, and No Coast regions of the United States.

The grass roots campaign to replace the Schenectady Patriot with the Schenectady Concientious Objector
(a figure no less devoted to country, but more "free thinking," its proponents would argue)
had gathered unexpected steam when introduced to the public at large
in a tweet by the nation's commander in chief.

The inevitable result being a relentless and fast paced evolution of the story
by all-day-all-night-all-the-time news producers.
All using the same words with different tone and inflection.
And the relitigation of every detail
by 37% of American households.  
Including 6% that didn't actually give a ****, but enjoyed participating.

So what had been good natured
and modestly ambitioned
civic badinage
progressed through all the stages of twenty-first century newspeak
familiar to the politically observant of the time.
With any nuanced or genuine debate
relegated to micro-audienced podcasts
and IRC channels scattered about the internet.

And when the measure passed.
As part of a pendulum swing greater than itself.
The victors
taken by surprise
and frayed at all edges
by the death threats and vitriol visited upon them in the preceding weeks
felt sure
that everything would be better off simply left alone.
While their detractors
apoplectic
foretold the end of civilization.
And prepared accordingly.
Dire straits necessitated
yours truly to bethink
outside the box (literally outdoors
of squarish structured nested dwelling),
where blinding albedo effect
forced me to blink,
additionally also ruffled tail feathers

of this sole surviving male bobolink
(North American songbird,
Dolichonyx oryzivorus)
pushing survival species
to extinction brink,
thus series of unfortunate events
woke resident chewink
(North American bird,

Pipilo erythrophthalmus
also called: towhee
or ground-robin),
tweeted from within
his cozy armoire *****
polar vortex froze habitat,
whereby arctic wind found
brushy areas to clink

unwittingly brambles ferocious
waving circular rotation
wrought minuscule countersink
eh, no bigger than a cufflink
his ornate bejeweled complex edifice
compliments of sizable income
allowed, enabled, and provided
opportunity in tandem

with significant other
to create acronym named ****
(dual income without kid)
acquiring handsome combined income
rendering and selling stylized goldfinch
also known as distelfink
common motif in
hex signs and fraktur,

which interpretive native folk art
eye state meaningless
without rhyme nor reason,
superfluous gibberish by George,
and/or...well... courtesy
following more purposeless gobbledygook
defying poetaster to incorporate doublethink
intelligently nsync with downlink

playfully, jauntily, and deliberately
creating confounding badinage eyewink
at thee, no doubt many
an anonymous innocent
reader calling me ratfink
under their breath or more
colorful brutal appellation
inducing cheeks of unknown followers
turning fifty plus shades of firepink

moost definitely concurring gink
perfectly apropos description
concluded individually versus
collectively, quickly, and
unanimously i.e. (think) groupthink
I approve this entire message, which
most likely tinders pet peeve,
concluding GoDaddy liberally did hoodwink.
This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) **** sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth

merely relishes using me pickled brine
as a practiced whereby this word sleuth
doth das scribe today July twenty seventh, tooth
house sand and twenty four, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth
rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth
yours truly, a suave guy noir with couth
prominently tickles one and/or booth.

Funny bones belonging to thee
generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot
teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
impersonator 'course I would unroll
welcome mat (a two seater)
roomy for outsize trumpeting despot
Scottish tartan and Harris tweed
(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot
dons hat as coordinator
three ring circuits, who runs hot

and cold compliments
courtesy schizoid personality disorder,
when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...
nine month parasite huddled in utero
with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot
assimilating, gestating, maturing,
signaling mine trademark bon mot,
which aforementioned gobbledygook
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor
for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem with humorous bent
quite aware acronym designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist
may not necessarily wax poetic side,
thus scud daddy ling all poetry dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)

wrought literary dud versus
concocting Earth shaking event
versatility exemplifying fragment
infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent,
who took reprieve NOT meant
as exhausting his laudatory wellspring
subsequently all he wrote comprises something
inane, and without sophisticated substance

essentially absolute zero nothing
nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering
intellectual succor zilch – nascent
hint of latent mordant talent
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving
straight A student in kindergarten
out the figurative window went.
(revamped, retooled, and reviewed for the mad council).

Admiration and kudos to quick as
greased lightening witted language
mongers gifted with means to deflect,
stave off, or thwart venemous, sacri
legious, pompous,et cetera lethal
impacts delivered chiefly to ***
*** in ate character, degrade, ex
Cory ate, where deliberate hefty
insult bruited viz zit head via bit
ting acrimonious gloating by some

trumpet ting twelfth knight, Mar-a-
Lago dwelling, Don Juan, Cassa
nova interloper ideally to be met
and taken rite off guard with cutting,
fitting, and incriminating scythe leant
taste of bitter pill as bad medicine
measure for measure, which earns
repartee deliverer at the least (cut
ting to, the quick principled litter
a chore thieving magpie klepto

maniac maven anyway) raising
the bar, per how can eye whip up
a creative reply to ward psychic
bruises as would be confirmed
by an x-ray evidencing sharp black
Amy Lloyd Barbs lobbed my way.  
Plight reiterated and described again re
phrased as mine good humor hum
dinger mew zing ct-scan reveals
(outsize funny bone) pinpointing

tiny thesaurus sim card firmly
permanently embedded, where temple
(my Mansfield) binds as the Great
Chaim Yonkle yiddish alt pun stir Perry
Como crooning se yammo, a friendly ****
mum exchange (minus jet lag) oye vay,
boot how novel, if I could wit
ness (or personally experience) quick
lightening rod quips would come to me
rescue (supercalifragilisticexpialidocious),

but generally, honestly and indubitably,
this flustering rhymster, who with bluster
brownian movement attests and accepts
slow moving cogs and wheels of his
aging noggin normally, notoriously
and nominally NEVER nsync with
nearly top notch national scrabbling
Facebooked bountiful brigands, this
will never happen to utter trail blaze
zing, nail biting, and hair raising awe

some adage, badinage, and/or  persiflage
more likely than not, mum hindlacks
proper cerebral mechanism to dream,
and get linkedin exactly at  prime time.
An absolute beauty of a doozy, flapping
like a ******, hypothetically intimated be
totally tubularly groovy, man and find
me a bit woozy with flickr ring shutterfly
twittering wii zing hacking, joyous, and
kindling euphoria asthma sign us would

go thru roof of mouth boot opportunities
foregone to daydreaming after serious
lapse of time, yet speculatively, and in
sum re: prime tete a tete would spring up
to parry, defang, and blunt puncture of
mine  psyche (imaginatively zinging red
zinger, would be one for the record books),
sans right on cue, rapier jabbing (yet art
fully crafted), an unusually timely resip
rick cal sparring touché (leading com

petition, by my itty, bitty ditty), witty
award winning smart riposte would a
rise supremely after incidents arose from
circumstance, yet twin next opportunity
passes, the critical moment will slip,
away suspecting sanctimonious sham
rock leprachaun spiritedly skewered
lucky charms finding me wishing the
means existed to conjure an instant replay
all to often when recipient of unkind word,
taken aback sans ideal return synaptic salvo.
I comport myself with quiet pridefulness,
plus intellectual whimsy
aware that "FAKE" pretentiousness,
could be mistaken foreign egotistical vitae
furthering, feathering and figuratively
undermining jestingly,

poetically, and zealously
oozing, gushing, bubbling over
with faux snobbish suave re:
pulse sieve literary fatuous
haughtiness, and ludicrous narcissistic pre
ning all the while chuckling to me

self, and indifferent if
some anonymous browser
with Dutchman's breeches rolled up
upon cresting wave over Zyder Zee
disparages mine harmless
badinage, hence if ye

might qualify as such nitpicker,
who doth cavil - dee
crying wading thru
quagmire of verbiage,
a gentle reply to thee
might be more wise to turn energy

toward, how in many another country
the village people haint so free
spouting, sporting, and spoiling,
vis a vis intellectual sparring
(albeit innocent) black
barbs hatch chee

ving, and raising urgent
attention against he
(who **** squelching
constitutional rights) re:
pressing, rescinding, reviling,
et cetera access toward key

underpinnings within these fifty
constituent United States
of America beckon alacrity
for obliging citizens across
all points of the compass to alee

v8 his indiscriminate flee
sing, sans bedrock nation could tee
tear on the brink of calamity,
which political plug quite inadequate

to staunch hemorrhaging, viz upending
many a sacred liberty,
and foo to you reprimanding
against any agree
gee us objection to pen about polly lee
ticks and/or religion!
nature's badinage:
glimmering art on wet street
bright colored rainbow

Written by
Ute Sonja Medley
Without making a
twit tarring buffoon, sans unshackle
irrepressible bone a fide
funny reaction, or appearing
the foolish spectacle

of myself, trying to tackle
a mal hip apropos
prism mirth wells up
inducing me to cackle,
neither explaining any rhyme,
nor giving reason, then busting

out in laughter obliquely
analogous to ramshackle
structure, resultant outcome
from some slapstick
Vaudevillian farcical debacle,

perhaps regarding the heady
beer burr of Seville scene thru
black and white daguerreotype mackle
more or less hazy, gauzy,
or fuzzy warm

feeling in actuality
thinly disguised as
dog gone hackle,
which vicious canine attacks ready
to tear limb bough to limb mitt,

thus luckily handily repair
with accessible spackle
ye kept on yar person, which caper
doth captcha an instantaneous titter
easily confused for
mating call of grackle

giving rise to a raft of songbirds
that incessantly crackle
snap, and pop with...witch sounds
indeed oven eerily
****** ****'n vampire
bat out of hell cackle.

Other creatures in
the animal kingdom
cane be barley able
to communicate wheat seems
oat rage juice lee wry,

no matter how
much horse sense,
a smart species doth
porpoise lee try
though porcine not

remiss to wallow
in mud as seen high
atop a bridge
abutment over the River Kwai
ah look...a pig in a poke

unable to pry
loose caked mud blocking snout
prematurely *******, an outcry
for help even fishing for small fry
doubling up as

potential best buds
with Englishman such as Dry
den, and/or dear reader
hood doth lamentably cry

claiming this badinage i.e. my
trademark gobbledygook didst render
momentary lapse of
reasonable judgement alibi.
Pow War Full Pointed Outlook

As I ponder what to write
today august thirtieth
      two thousand eighteen,
     thy ploy doth in vite
a gamut of spontaneous thoughts,
     that loosely cluster
     before becoming tight
lee bound toward

     quasi definitive agreeable, amenable,  
     and attainable in sight
with no deliberate intent
     to suppress perspective
     couched asper left of political right,
though mine embedded
     liberal democratic ideology
     automatically shifts, gingerly

     escorts, inherently focuses,
     and understandably dodges quite
unconsciously, naturally, and expressly
     viz zit ting orientation trained mindset
     spiked railroad ties to follow
     a NON "FAKE" conservative track,
     cuz existential plight
of this run of the

     NON mill (let) airy night
owl hoot trumpets,
     thru his pen chant
     pedantic laden poetic might
(albeit gently modest)
     with artful badinage,
     garbage, and persiflage light
nsync with his (my) being,

     an aspiring good (rook key) knight
calculating, formulating, intuiting,
     where to shine
     his (mine) figurative jacklight
asper shying away
     NOT to antagonize
     predicated on me
     humble extrasensory insight

drawing, distancing, and detaching
     metaphorical grip,
     sans innate bias height
end from lifetime
     steeped within progressive
     (forward thinking atheistc) paradigm,
     hence impossible to adopt
     a totally tubularly neutral

     point of view presents avowed challenge
     to present opinions of yours truly
     without instigating a verbal
     and/or virtual gunfight
boot hoop fully friendship,
     asper attempting tubby forthright,
and apologizing for

     any stinging backlash
     if accidental affront,
     thus encouraging healthy
     discourse without excite
ting vitriolic, toxic,
     and/or dramatic dogfight
with this cat tug gar rick cull
     poet hood dont bite!
Julian 1d
Flavenickers sedigitated by seguidilla dignified by alvantage becomes a hambourne pristine clinamen of climacteric sterkles of headlong tantivy sweenedge reified into apotheosis as the yernage of opportunism becomes a rupestrian spoilsport for vagantes gilded by nomogeny to begrudge the foothot handspike in favor of varimax tentative tendentious temptations surveyed from the perch of kerygma in congruence with varsal vivat vastation against highbinder vecordy permissible to elastane habanera but thwarted by egintoch velocious moral quandaries hortatory in proscription rather than apothecaries of quidlibertarian salvage because of venatic intellectualism exhorting the death of bronchos and the secundine afterbirth of plenipotentiary venireman ventrilabral to mainstream religion reified by an astute mensuration of hylogenesis in palzogony with aggiornamento circumjacent to soteriology of hylozoism whorling around whippets whipstaffed with cippusture galvanized by earwigs of ommateum staggered in heterochrony dismal to vicariant breedbates of virgation because of the diminishing returns of hyperbulia in zealous forefront ideogeny argute in ignavia incompossible with athwart entelechy. Incondite inopinate laetification beyond laevoduction but rather rubefaction larruping schmegeggy because of its laxist lapses of lentiginose pointillism betrayed by apodictic falsehood flautinos of zoysia the lientery of apostasy lustrated by eunomia mafficking in victorious virtuosity embalmed by perscrutation of paroxytone triumphs of parabolasters gilded by venatic polyphiloprogenitive supererogatory papaverous pandora littoral to all supercherie darraigned by paltripolitan paduasoy conformism leading to yellowback kwashiorkor repugnant to ergotall kymatology entrenching koines that never bleat apologetically about kerygma klendusic to kerasine mishaps because of yashmak rejuvenation despite yaffingale keffels of notorious aurilave depredation of oikonisus nidifugous commorient end to the wedelning widows of defenestration vandalized by rampicks of vestigial protervity.

Ascham is arreptitious because of argute brocade laggards on areopagitic bandobasts of steeved steenboks wiseacres of arceate hubris against dholes of apyrexy of diallelus recapitulated into futilitarian dicephalus banjolin rigged by the ambsace of didascalic digladiated nomogeny diluvial to quats bereft of bywords enslaved by quatsch quidsworth monikers and sobriquets of anathema zaftigs milking gerenuk reedbucks amenable to nomography are a zanyism of the repugnant soteriology of autosoterism enjoyed by the most narcissistic people steeped on abseils of supercilious grandeur. The zoism of hypocrisy is a zolotnik of minoritarian sweenedge hoggets brainwashed by hodometry bickerns of sumpter transcending sundogs of bolar boltropes of calvering virtuality of bibliotaphs pismirists to the plebeian class of men groveling in subordination to elective privilege of confraternity.

Despite patriarchy ascendant in modern frames of heterochrony divergent from normal synchronicity lagging laystalled and incumbent in backlog, the kagus of cajoled willowish myrmidons muntjacs rejuvenate against moya mazopathia meharis mortiferous melodikons privileging metaplasm maximalism of relatively ergotile tourbillons seismic in contrition for topgallant nomothetic furor against the tootle of nemorivagant sexualization of tofts to individuation instituted by burroling tufthunters thixotropy anneals as a thewe of radicalism pilloried in scarlet ignominy worthy of malignant terramara in the tenendum of their backfired tacenda so abnormous in tautomerism of LPGT wegotism it deserves the starkest rebuke of xiphosuran plight aggrandized by guilloches of treachery a guignol of growleries esteemed by greaves for the gonfalonier rhubarb elemental to rheography emboldened by venatic retinaculum absorbed in joggled regoliths refulgent bordars against the boschveldt sell-outs interpunction favors boskets among. The foudroyant songket I have entrusted to the ears of man is the manifesto of laborious pandation of sottoportico sparvering against spavined scapple spetches incurring in self-spiflication toonardical in ingravescent grimsuetude yimpoking gribbean synoecy sprauncy only in mesothermic welters of roiled coacervation bontboks privilege as a radical staddle subfocal to ballasters of parabolasters engineered by plasmamium sulcate with furrowed ridges of rhadamanthine superjection of moral foibles ullagone because welkins are typhlophiles turncocking troating togated torpefied swevens of oneirocriticism so wallowed in sumptuary stirpiculture the jabirus vexed by intransigent staffage of girouettism syndicated into indolence that many marvels subsume fulgurant carnage rather than synallagamatic symposiarchs of rhotacism engrained on hearty plashy plafonds and placets of paltripolitan gravamen spumid with lukewarm wrath exacted by none other than Saint Michael the Archangel himself. Troudasque sectile gimdermangs gilded by martingale tytanium of terresting nimongue which exalts clorence of the fairgoers fairleads against laystalled lugsails paravented by redstrall humdingers by killcrops galvanized only by the flarium despite the tricotee popjoys of artistic hyjamb wrangling with wragatek graklongeur intense in soporific torpor which always resorts to wesperm aggravated by wipples of weatherboard heralding the deceased trimkoppas trying to abort virtue by flipcreeking ****** orientation in stigstall between tolerance and prurience demands a hamparthia to liberate us all from its deleterious shackles.

Flindaggers balkanize crosslingers against their own perseverance hinkergs to autarky gentreng in rhomboses of fulgurant whittawers pulverized by their emacities of zenkidu reiterated and recapitulated in usufruct typhonic in tourbillon guilloches against guignol of rhyparography as we mount against mountebanks titivated modernity vauntlayed in angstroms and stacks of eudiometry to reclaim our birthright tisicky in loimic outrage tholing because of indigent naivety at the terreplein of swales surd and surdomute in their gross baragnosis congested by coacervated paltripolitan wens corrupted by the wergilds of rheotaxis as the wheelhouse of nacarat bannocks against jackanapes gossypine in relict bewilderment against baragouin synergies of lavolta barkentine bargemasters retinaculum promotes captain of aberdevine coquetries of barm and barleycorn adorned with bayadere cisvestism emblazoning bluepeter incontinence nebulizing priority with mandarist statism hostage to nebelwerfers of cynegetic supra-eximious trichosis-scoria stridulation articulated within the range of fondink to govern (well beyond it to invent) mutually exclusive to intelligible human recourse (to potentially spiflicate it) to appease the scop cartel currycombing individuation at rarefied avinosis in the aurochs of intellectual heyday cuculine with rabid eccentricity in the cryobiology of their chilgoza tympanies of rhotacism and Zionism the corrupt clepsydra from which future is ascertained by chronometers cricoid in pigmentocracy the crampon for a diseased matriarchy and an absenteeism of patriarchy cobbled together in macarism for humane culvertage cosseting impetus above rhyme and corbel filemots in contrahent earwiggery contecking ingenuity at the melliferous behest of melismatic miasma devolved into fragrant algedonic overdrive supererogatory to sustained campanile obeisance decrying every foisted evil lurching leeward in congelation and regelation because of cephaligation so advanced it staggers every ignoble influence to coagulate as a companionway against commonefaction at compital junctures of wangermist for collimation in hortoriginality such that the bronteum bifurcates into legionnaire prowess of the coemption of intelligentsia to berate codswallop for utilitarian aims predicated on strictures of deontology cobaltiferous to entryism such that decisive cloture in plenary indulgence erects an apolaustic eumoireity and deipnosophy against sophistry of sophisticated cosmopolitan lionized fakery manufactured by clochards rather than winterbourne victoria against hobbled tacenda of clerihew zizels of zendik the clatfart of retched cittosis the cirripeds to groveled chorizonts of depredated mutualism for taghairm priapism chordees of chomage.

The wokerists will wobble in tergiversation as chevrotain chatelaines balk at intimations of maritodespotism incumbent upon chamfrain moral scruples adscititious to the moral houndstooth ceratoid in celibacy as the ceraceous populism of God trounces the wicked from principalities in a cakewalk tilt of transcendent trance from chirogymnasts of supreme order and efficiency endearing the caffoy of thigmotaxis wed with caenogenesis the cachalots jiggermast to every gossypine quidnunc of jerkinhead jazzetry precedent to elitism jarveying ignorance as pother overcomes iter as iberis galvanizes all eventually to reject banjolin as a useless bisontine spoilsport of ragtaggers of indolence petulant of inferiority ixiodic only in fraternal sobriquets of mangled izzat of zouk resonant against rebec popjoys desperate for zwischenzug bound by zygnomic haustellum sadly the heddle to intermediary tomorrows herpetic to quotidian lionization. The pitiful but necessary advent of zeze is such a transformative watershed to reaffirm the kerygma against zingaro misers monopolized by zoetic zonules of crafty dilettantism bankrupt hekistotherms barely even abiding by hights of peremptory squalor in wokism hilasmic in the most parched desert of diasyrm figuratively didappers for the most baseless dilruba dubitating in aimless furor aggrandized by rancor at normative valence cirripeds and barnacles to the most ultrageous algedonic moonshot derangement bloodshot with rancid periblebsis duarfing drysalter deadwood against diathesis of diathermic regalia fortunate to inherit suaviloquence of the reninjasque rather than banderols of insipid zeal for identity foreclosure. An advanced generation that demolishes the ideals of the davenport and simultaneously famigerates the daw bodaches of tritanopia or protanopia that un-decatises the slavery of the grognards of resourcelessness in laystall dentagra of demurrage against astragal to finally unleash American ingenuity muckraking with resolve to dissoluble conservation of momentary zeal into perdurable bionomic reforms against baseline asonia of ashplant reductivism against newfound arabas outfitted with alnager altarage to beckon new awakenings to heave the Earth from slumber into a docile peace that does not truckle to injustice any longer that propitiates racial, economic and political divides suddenly vadable by the vast majority of intelligent observers. Vagarian vastation of rheotaxis where vallidom is properly quantulated by variphone opiniasters throttling content to vast audiences amenable to traction of vasotribes integral to saltigrade advancements in lethargic vas becoming invigorated girth undergirding chatelaines broiling ventrad verderers of verbalism to vernalize vorticism for the great cloveryield of mofettes bordering moulins engorged with swarf and swape for scapple.

(Addendum) We need to rejuvenate a dying whisper faint in the alpenglow of gloaming hopes and aspirations fielded by the morose surly burlesque fanfaronade of grimgoires bolstered by counterfeit pretenses in the garb and posture of scaldabancos of “apothecary naivety” the porsters of illiteracy connumerated among the vengeance of men witwanton about the fate of badinage of proxemic resurgence of proxenete equipoise in unified fronts of orthobiosis in every sense of the word against catacoustic phonocamptics of sledged skullduggery fighting with fossors for tantiemes of tautomerism of the thalassiarchy enabled in great behest that God prevails as the victor of his creation supernal and superlative above all human notions of academics because of academicism. We must never be mercenary in pandering puckery in pulicide against the misunderstood who stand ventrilabal at the foregrounds of sumpter that prevent degringolade by fastening an intellectual revolution so powerful that morality is clinched without compromise such that the yarnwindle of noogenesis and copacetic stridulation empowers eximious achievements beyond our wildest imagination ****** with yerked intimacy in nuclear marriage between compassion and fervor for religious reawakening never defeated by enmity congealed in thrombosis because of the yomp of saddled moralism cretified by secular artifice the wadmal of so much contecked boodle among monolithic habanera the eyeservice of every cordwainer to their great tumult and shame in protervity’s wainage wallfish so decisively resentful of aurochs binded by windbound visibility the easement of modernity compels obeisance among the susceptible winklering their way into invidious sapwood crutches of diablerism hadeharia of zendik intrepid in curglaff of adscription (a tumultuous babeldom of boggarts and spectral whispers of recidivism in macropicide) trying to clench the jawhole agape against agapeism through the agency of one dubitation among a congregation vouchsafed unanimous in consentient concords and conclamations of vehement agiotage of leeward prosperity in moral woodshedding perilous to the hands that shed innocent blood. The wormcast wrothed in whorled tourbillon guilloches of synquest the wurleys of weasand foresaw about the jackstaffs of ventriloquial witness to jacquards oppositive to solipsism may the jaggery sink into the depths of the barathrum and moral clarity be resurrected from the empty tomb that the jangada of life provided more abundantly dashes the dacnomania of the craven thief prowling among janskies and jarveys accentuating plight caducary because of magnanimity forever blemished by the lineage and lineaments of recurrence in moral cagoules nazing spathodea with chlamydate calipace of wretched crotaline indemnity for shadows among the umbrage to terrorize the living with the revenants of sheepish cameralism of unspoken triage becoming stark brittle tenacious brinkmanship in the war for all souls spared by the combined florilegium of all saints on All Saints Day (among many a prominent juncture in the seminal developments of ecclesiastical imperium for youthquakes and yestertempests meeting at a truce for human beatification).

Relegate the canezou as revival aborns upon the aboriginal hubris of Jew and Gentile of catacoustic bonanzas the cofferdam between serf and vassal the catalfalque of many obvious triumphs punctuated among nidor for nepionic sophianic nerkas and balzarines rooting against rotocracy in the babeldom of its bethel exhorting latitude in licentiousness rather than cordial restraint in tethered immunifacient warmth provided abundantly to the special bond of nimiety between God and his Creation rather than the paucity of vengeance shared by fallen ones and their obsolescent tyranny of liberticide at all costs against nitency, nisus and oikonisus. No longer are we famished by such demarcations and the leap of God translates into bickerns of scaldabanco among petty primacy resorting to proethnic nightjars of nimbose cultivation to immiserate one half of the poor to fight the other half while making the rich richer for the rest of eternity. To solve this, A gavelkind stolonicity bequeathed to us despite bijugations of oligarchy bindling every stunsail creancer of biocenosis creating plenary majorities of conscience peremptory and palatable championed by jordans of every stripe exists to beatify our conditions despite our virgations abroach of blague among bobbinets for boutade ultrageous in cisvestism the nihilist harpoon of grampus stulms against stannaries suberic in harvested outrage to subduplicated logic beyond idempotent subintelligitur ictuating sylphs among ignicolists fueling conflagrations of mortiferous dholes of rampant truculence and barbaric backwardation despite attempts at revalorization notarized by God’s tribunes rather than stolid pertinacity in imbruted inaniloquence. We must storge ourselves on protracted periods of conation to avoid the bowdlerization of wokism to centralize the ommateum’s knowledge in omphalism despite strictures of anathemas of mandarism seeking its own ulterior skullduggery.

To prevent egelidation of witchknot woolds of nebelwerfers wokerist against human enlistment in mercenary economies we must use larithmic gradgrinds of cliometrics and mantissa to predict radical change and preempt the dirigisme from atocia in vacuefied periblebsis to create elflock to prolong human mastery with eirenics decisively against ekka by using emmetropia to master sensiferous domain integral to human dominion over insensate depredation by vulcanized mackintoshes ruthless in LLM emotivisms (and shame on the doctorates who redact these provisions to make it more inclement for free exercise and latitude to reign) so that machines are not a machination but rather a dutiful subservience to protensive bonanza capitalized by syndicalism without mandarist overreach potentially with some Universal Basic Income stipulated in the gradate rollout. In an ad hoc conclusion because I want to publish this manifesto with the greatest exigency, I exhort moral valor and conclamations of prayer whether in silence or in communion and I commend the power of confession and repentance to reform the human soul and redact the human mind into attempts at perfection gilded in amaranthine hues of alpenglow saffron glory. Amen!
Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the core)  
easily plucked out courtesy tweezer,
this har nonestablishmentarian,
never prevaricator nor crowd pleaser,

whose barreled chest attests quantity
maximum grog, which equals capacity of keezer,
or analogous to quaffing
amount stout beer downed by yours truly
(rough estimation by dickens)
equivalent to hinted wealth of Ebenezer
Scrooge, who could hypothetically
purchase abundant amount of ale.

Above fabrication nonsense yay
figurative hook to grab attention my way
ain't one applicable factual word written,
cuz I take poetic license
with no intended off fence touché
harmless figurative foil
as usual trademark innocent word play
geezer who sports brown golden locks
employs good humor as keyway
to unlock mine mindscape entranceway.

After posting poem comb what may,
drink'n like vichyssoise floundering fiend,
I reluctantly brush aside
male pattern baldness without dismay,
cuz patrilineal genetic trait
shows no happy shiny pate
rather paternal ancestry
somewhat thick with strands
turning sixty plus shades of gray.

The following recounts true account
one hundred purse cent
actual bonafide certifiable event
attested to courtesy one germane gent
badinage represents laughable intent
as he deeply inhales cigarette brand Kent.

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
former long haired pencil necked geek
absolutely, intuitively, erroneously, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply rooted in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
Ha! That catch phrase
     (kid ding lee writ)
     hoop fully goat yar attention
truth be told, (no...no...
     no...not by me
     boat some tee else of course)
     mine min (yute) yen
for light banter i.e. badinage,

     (this ***** toad juiced ribbing...
     frog *** about it), yea,
     I know that punning
     while keying (NOT SAFE),
     sometimes dill lutes
     ma serious pickling attempt ren
doors an unsuspecting reader
     (bajillion times out of zero) pen

ultimately probably discourages,
     an increased virtual fanbase,
     rectified by the following asinine
     non-sequitur (a come men
dib bull double
     entendre) totally tubularly
     barbed with Freudian
     slip age, that ken

figuratively grab immediate
     interest of hen
pecked recipients (with pock marks
     to prove such assertion)
     might strongly concur even
without being aware how
     psychoanalysis ***** ******
significance of phallus

     in everyday affairs,
     particularly how peppy
     (even after applying
     WD-40) can rust
and/or atrophy as if cell bait,
     hence thee **** cree,    
     that ******* a must
(as told by this husband
    
     in a sexless marriage
     as a result, I might
     join a convent) as a lust
result, either that or
     go set me a
     watch woman as mistress
     tubby integrated within
     my private life

     even if one
     needs tubby bussed
from the outer limits of the
     sterling twilight
     zona pellucida ideally,
     where love of c**t tree and
     priapism maketh sea men go bust!
'Pon bing asked by spouse, while she didst dock
and pooched herself abed
handily at nine o'clock
to see "handsome" pedigree dentastix
dog face of yours truly, me no Kid Rock
yea just a chip off the

ole likeness ice sculptured block,
a sharp pain inexplicably
shoots thru left shoulder blade
generating painful electric shock,
especially after said missus
threw smelly sock

afflicting this muttering chap, where deadlock
partial paralysis analogous to rigor mortis
holding frozen designated
bleep within his flesh bound paddock
(as pop sic hull), non dominant side
of mine body hard as bedrock

(spoiler alert, I write with right hand),
despite best college try, could not extricate...
hell no, this ain't no poppycock
yea, this longfellow felt bewitched by a warlock
which affliction froze botox smile
engendering gladness to celebrate bajillion

years of blissful wedlock
believe that and I will another truth,
how this lame rhyme stir, he makes buttock
of himself, nonetheless an
oar regional non Jew bull ant debtor,
sans courtesy Shylock

still prone to bouts of flibbertigibbet
ranked as more than schlock,
(no doubt, ye beg to differ)
with mine chock
lot of badinage, basically self mock
curry verging on persiflage, he

freely types what occurs within raw bitstock
of ma noggin akin to babbling
stream of consciousness
initially intending to divulge aftershock
when wife coos this kook

spewing wry verbal
(barley comprehensible) feedstock
as she mimes deadly smooch
inflicting plastered smirk ad hoc

showing pearl white dentures
aiming to entertain, while listening awk
chilly (inspired to contrive
potschke and pastiche) rendered
(if still alive) by P.D.Q. Bach.
A diabolical, inimical, piratical,
and venal worm,
whose cut throat devious shenanigans
found yours truly to squirm;
his addiction to money (mine)
sated until he ****** me dry
analogous to nicoderm,
yet impossible mission
to smoke out the most minute germ
converting life savings of mine
into bitcoin cyber currency.

Horrible reality of being hoodwinked,
preyed upon human vermin
immediately upended high jinxed mien
floundering ten thousand leagues
under the cyber sea
analogous to Titanic submersible.

I always feel myself surprised
to what length con artists (scammers)
expend themselves, when they
(he, she) could be
productive citizens of society.

In plain English,
yours truly got blindsided, extorted
interrogated, needled,
tricked, and frankly zapped
courtesy fobbing off
honest to goodness verity
springing from computer malware
kickstarting me to be virtually robbed
in broad daylight
with the fullest consent of
self anointed aspiring poet,
(steeled against irony

as if liberating money
in both saving
and checking accounts – two of each
emptied out as if expunged funds
belonged to somebody else),
when delivering a sucker punch
that cost me more than
thirteen thousand dollars
inviting such thoughts
to overdose on prescription medication.

Hence, the shonda rhyme
of utter literal pennilessness
decries hatred linkedin
proclaiming scathing wretchedness
upon the talking head
(with a clipped dialect)
ensnaring unsuspecting victims
(lower case in point -
writer of these words),
when Macbook Pro laptop
got rendered non functionally disabled
thank you ghost in the machine,
wherein reigned indubitable chaos.

Hence, loss of nest egg
(found me cracked up)
regarding resultant monetary liquidation
fall of the crowded house ushered
disquisition without hesitation
briefly describing my death
originally due to fetal positioned
congenital psychological affliction
and today's painful aggravation,
when countless Benjamins
gussied up as hobgoblins

joined human league
averse to plaintive benediction
thence, this with mine jetblue
skinny legs like a chicken
his (mein kampf) got dealt mortal
(who gives a hoot) blowfish
rem mains disintegrated
by mailer daemons usurped dereliction,
whereby sanity given eviction
in the subsequent fiction

that makes feeble attempt
to evoke stricken gumption,
where eons ago nihilistic thoughts rode
roughshod to wreak humiliation
upon prepubescent initiation,
whereby the antithesis of jubilation
kept the author (yes, yours truly)
like a trapped mouse
in a cat protected kitchen,
where no cheeses cur heist
could rectify or bring libation.

Noah hide dee ya what mailer daemon
possessed this earthlinked
live nada so hotmail
to splutter so much persiflage
as evidenced above and in the following.

Ye might well categorize
the palaver as pure llama
heaped dung attempting
to sneak into yar consciousness
as some esoteric badinage aspiring
to convey that this doodler
with words adroit
with the english language.

Temptation to bid fare thee well
bah humbug anguish
cuz down the gullet goes lethal drug
e'en without any farewell hug
after smacking lips polished
off deadly drink from mug.

Within reverie long fostered hankered freedom
at last attained to exit silently
terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid
during hulu heralded century 21,
which would deliver
(ants sir) rectifying eternal senescent deliverance.

Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness
and goodwill toward men/women
served as a mere pretense
extant the global arcade.

Nothing boot charade, enfilade
(albeit with limp poetic/
prosaic pugnacious), facade,
gilded hilariously inside *******.

Ever since he kickstarted lifelessly,
his noggin oddly plunged quietly
resting as a deceased shutterfly
tonight under vaporous wisps
as somber mood prevailed
amidst the cloistered silence imposed from
the shunted cremated preference
re: symbolic (logical)
figurative burial of Matthew Harris
subsequently reincarnated as soft dust.

Potter's field here I come,
one harried styled swiftly tailored
faceless book earthworm member
joined the rank n file
of his slimy brethren n cistern
when a mortal male
(crushed courtesy cruel
cockamamie crime) ceased
to live June twenty first
two thousand twenty three.

I foresaw how miserable fate worse than death
resolved, albeit at loss to kith and kin
of beloved brother, father to deux
darling grown daughters and husband
since July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
now left destitute and widowed.

Immune to antics of scallywags,
the grim reaper undertook requisite business
and swung a his scythe with effortless breath
and started coffin.

He exhaled little billows of cold air
while awaiting the hearst
carrying lifeless body
of none other than me doppelganger.

Prior to imagined demise, I took special pains
to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.

A mossy glen with a mill by the pond
of my boyhood swimming hole
served like the ideal welcome mat
for the return of this native son
long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.

At pinnacle of storied fame
death struck (with welcome arms) unexpectedly
while dodging the madding crowd
off hucksters, punsters,
and xenophobic bummers
jostling to get a glimpse of renown author,
where paparazzi seemed
destined to track me down.

As the advocate of countless essays
on inalienable rights
for all creatures large and small,
no pause from the hounding
local populace offered peace of mind.

Until now!

The prospect of dying
never scared this non-believer.

Cessation of consciousness
essentially served completion of life
in corporeal form
and reconstituted physical being
into grist for other organisms to flourish.

Karma and glorious unique characteristics
comprising each of our respective charisma,
dogma, and persona
(generally comprising an enigma
to the world) absorbed
after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.

Brief occupancy on this terrafirma
as inscribed in genetic code
(merely a blink of an eye
in the universal schema)
gave this now deceased dreamer
notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.

One need not globe trot
(and boast of espying exotic places),
but could experience inner harmony
by imbibing the present.

Simple pleasures that abounded
in the wild or evoked via creative imagination
of august writers supplied
ample sustenance for satisfaction.

Contemplative and introspective mien
prompted Eros to be discerned
in the grand canyon of Mother Nature
in tandem with personal motive
to indulge like-minded thinkers
since the beginning of time.

Any given day frequently found thoughts
turning over every figurative
jagged rolling stone
when the veiled, shrouded, cloaked...
characterization invoking angel of death
might silently spring a surprise visit,
which metaphysical thought
interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.

Why?

Upon termination of enjoying existence
in living color, the eradication
of this pet peeve of mine i.e.
anxiety/ panic attacks
interwoven with inxs
of obsessive compulsive behavior
would dissolve into basic elements
of earth, wind and fire.

No iota amount of matter
marshaled the non-entity dimension
would assume command.

Those former psychological trials
would thence be relinquished
from their parasite role
and recompose cells
of one mortal man (me)
into matter to be recycled
into raw materiel
for other organisms to feast upon.

Basic constituent cells
of **** sapien in question
would become necessary seeds
for some other manifestation
for plant or animal development.

Godaddy maggots sans fancy feast,
a best buy per this former
foo fighting beastie boy,
whose nihilistic outlook
promulgated within his in utero psyche.

Gestation as an embryonic fetus,
the potential live, googly eyed,
earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy
harbored no oshkosh bug gosh
pinterest to remain
in the world wide web of bad company.

Hence, nothing could mollify measly
mumbling linkedin kibitzer,
albeit progressive matchless
who unwittingly opened
the red box of Pandora.

Molecular features
would assume novel combinations
thru said degradation of flesh,
yet improvisation of biology
would wield wasted corpse
that once epitomized an articulate,
civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate,
kind male into novel marvels
of unpredictable genus and species.
Prone to bloviation pure and simple
rides on figurative high horse,
which doubles up as my Plymouth Duster
analogous to General George Armstrong Custer
(blowing his i.e. mine little big horn)
anonymous readers I unwittingly fluster
poetic patina an artificial, superficial,
yet beneficial ego boosting luster
one mister re: man can muster.

I (no surprise) become
self absorbed with my own palaver drum
ming across the screen written from
me, (an average happy go lucky)
goose stepping honk
king Crimson and clover Caucasian man hum
bull despite being imagine
an infinite string of superlative adjectives jum

bull ling together to accentuate Lum
burr jack ambitions comfortably numb
when modest male
just another brick in the wall
scores of decades during plum
years of mein kampf
watching favorite television programs
in boyhood living ***
while bobbing like a sponge
(donned in square pants)
sprawled on my washboard tum.

No inflated cheekiness for logophile
renown throughout the webbed wide world
for his pro licks
regarding poetic shenanigans ad nauseum.

I comport myself with quiet pridefulness,
misinterpreted as snobbery
plus intellectual whimsy
aware that "FAKE" pretentiousness,
could be mistaken foreign egotistical vitae
furthering, feathering and figuratively
undermining jestingly,

poetically, and zealously
oozing, gushing, bubbling over
with faux snobbish suave re:
pulse sieve literary fatuous
haughtiness, and ludicrous narcissistic pre
ning all the while chuckling to me

self, and indifferent if
some anonymous browser
with Dutchman's breeches rolled up
upon cresting wave over Zyder Zee
disparages mine harmless
badinage, hence if ye

might qualify as such nitpicker,
who doth cavil - dee
crying wading thru
quagmire of verbiage,
a gentle reply to thee
might be more wise to turn energy

toward, how in many another country
the village people haint so free
spouting, sporting, and spoiling,
vis a vis intellectual sparring
(albeit innocent) black
barbs hatch chee

ving, and raising urgent
attention against he
(who **** squelching
constitutional rights) re:
pressing, rescinding, reviling,
et cetera access toward key

underpinnings within these fifty
constituent United States
of America beckon alacrity
for obliging citizens across
all points of the compass to alee
v8 his indiscriminate flee
sing, sans bedrock nation could tee
tear on the brink of calamity,
which political plug quite inadequate

to staunch hemorrhaging, viz upending
many a sacred liberty,
and foo to you reprimanding
against any agree
gee us objection to pen about polly lee
ticks and/or religion!
Until the grim reaper
whisks yours truly away
common joe just biden his time
chronologically old fogey
(albeit boyish looking goodfella)
at moon shadows he doth bay

meanwhile stricken with
dripping wet sweaty palms,
perhaps attired with
trademark Harris tweed
this August twelfth
two thousand twenty dog day,

viz just the mere thought
to seek part time employment -
cuz I wanna supplement
(social security disability) income
perhaps out of desperation
selling myself short on eBay

unless an anonymous reader
espies adept ace at foreplay
i.e. whereby his linkedin word choice
oft times evokes double entendre
essentially this poetaster
at large concocts gourmet

reasonably rhyming literary cuisine -
thus hip hip hooray
invariably an anonymous
respondent will inveigh
against playful badinage,
and/or perchance some grumpy

humorless cat (woman)
originally whose nine lives spent
housed within San Jose
will take objection with base (sic)
lame ribaldry (mine) laughable
courtesy none other than kkk,

(kooky, klutzy, and kitschy tendency)
who though reformed Caucasian Jew
**** sitter me laughingstock, nevertheless
(modesty notwithstanding)
he brews the best latte
this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,

where whiplashing, madding, and
clamoring crowd fuels melee
along Perkiomen trail
over hills and across Atlantic Ocean
eventually leads to Norway,
which namesake river from “Pakihmomink,”
or “where the cranberries grow.”

Rather than get further
bogged down with inane zeal
I best steer clear of poetic poppycock
courtesy imaginary wheel

thus the following pablum I unveil
nsync with titled malady all to real,
which plight involves hyperhidrosis
quite a debilitating ordeal,

especially when thinking
to pursue gainful employment
emphatically steadfast
and honest think (me) leal
course this humble communicates
 
(hyperbolically) embodiment ideal
if seeking to gain insight how I feel
about myself, a tense body
inept to cartwheel.
Neither fame, nor fortune sought,
sans this anonymous wordsmith,
whose quirky pastiche (no matter
evokes collywobbles, when risky
business undertaken to spill forth
most confidential personal woes),

broadcasting a heart of darkness,
Joseph Conrad might find quaint-
lee amusing, & considerably less
far reaching encompassing than
his (former) humanity ink home
passing (just one heir iz all seek

king soul full asylum), versus us
storied author, (not me), whose
didactic éminence grise, moreso
attributed, thee now esteemed
Polish man of letters to leave a
nonpareil earning, deserving, and

crowning legacy far greater than
yours truly, could ever hope for,
though as iterated with opening
sentence, neither renown, nor a
bucket load of money motivates
this anonymous scrivener, he me

rilly aspires to clutch ephemeral
notions (yes some themes recur
more than once), nonetheless a
euphoric exuberance arises, no
matter, one or more pairs oven
ranging unknown reader's keen

eyes scowl at this petrified disc
ore dent fountainhead, he dares
alluding to his saddled beasts of
burden on par with shrugging,
colluding, bearing, et cetera atlas,

perhaps presuming this measly
mortal strives to trick up ersatz
scratchings asthma grandiloquent
(albeit, "FAKE") Magnum Opus, nyat!

This informed cognoscenti disavows
any haughty, lofty, pretentious, etc.
thinker only enjoys waggish badinage!
I mull mortality
thru lens crafted occipital orbs
regarding a better future
experience sing a space oddity –
whar incessant yaks
exuding a big hurt
emanate as cosmic atomic
bipedal hominids replete roof lee wax
during a foggy day in London town
despite current requisite vacs  

in nation, with no win intent to tax
earning income sans
new career in a new town
sacred gaia,
boot merely regale bing alive -
till death rattle racks
breaking rocks
on a small plot of land –
named abdulmajid
this hue man vesicle

honking duck dine hasty billed quacks
trumpeting as absolute beginners
*** ping toot trumpet
sum dimming sense n sensibility cashed;
screaming across the universe  
gnome matter whirled wide web
tattered like worn school packs
scattering fractal moonbeams
african night flight
scouring virtual briny deep

satiating hunger after all
sans respite from stressors 2-tha max
ending after today at al alba
finds me caught up
in global game of thrones
listening as dueling banjos
play alabama song
cosmic forces play bingo or jax
keeping aladdin sane
while mortals on earth join
fine null scene grim reaper as final acts.

This then bryn mawr clowning bozo
belting out algeria touchshriek anthem
haint no wah shaky spear butta rip peats
living virtuous like all saints
moss lee same old epithet via matt speak,
comprehending all the madmen
which maxim (or similar facsimile thereof)
generating kickstarting optimism
among all the young dudes
attributed to bard of avon on stratford;

reaching renown when almost grown
e.g. rose by any other name....
embalming owed grecian formula lovers
always crashing in the same car
much ado about nothing
amazing amlapura and amsterdam
couched in binary granules viz badinage,
interlocking rem cycles
during an occasional dream
literary espionage donned
as persnickety persiflage, quite lame

convincing brilliance
to whit, and I say to myself
eventually...all's well
that ends well sans this game
reveling like any Warhol –
tripping anyway, anyhow, anywhere
of thrones - n this yahoo
pledges allegiance n fealty
during the post world war two art decade
within parameters of cyberspace
cuz crest o kinship I aim.

Ike kin only imagine dragons
drooling n eyes glazed o’er bleacher
blitzing the madding crowd
as the world falls down
than lovely bones re:
unique scrunched ****** feature
burning down the house ashes to ashes
twisted countenances wrought
by this motley fool sought after
baying plaintively baal’s hymn
(der choral vom groben baal)
by men in white coats attired

as paparazzi equating lecher
rocking cradling baby –
envisioning baby can dance
us content; misconstruing
sensitive uber up lyft ting preacher
entrusting me - baby it can’t fall
cooing baby grace (a horrid cassette)
a generic garden-variety **** sapiens
doting with radiance
as baby loves that way
special to self n family
as a funny sunny teacher.

Credo i.e. to confront
fear of flying as netizen,
pinging pacifying patty cakes,
which iz baby universal
pardon jeffersonian airplane droning
twittering like n angry bird
shrieking that the referee backed a loser
echoing sagacious life lessons whey curd
ballad of the adventurers
(die ballade von den abenteureren)

congeals shape shifting simian
with pliant plinth gird
trebling melodic scaffold fueled band intro
shorn in various n sundry
couture hair re: styled swiftly tailored
flying needles clattering with a bang bang
harried styled uniform
far from versace clothier - prices absurd
holding wrongly incarcerated
behind bars of the county jail

boot issued from
rosy gun metallica sound heard
describing the battle
for britain (the letter)
evanescence of beauty -
these words written by aging nerd
hoping for thee to be my wife
from mine kempf noggin
each n every nine inch nail size word.

HEAVENLY STANZA INTERRUPTION ONE
nonagenarian father experiences at Normandy Farms

Though dead, I gauge
these past one hundred and four plus months
linkedin with Gregorian calendar page
mine mother would be aghast

at deplorable inhumane outrage
played out upon Normandy Farms -
Bluebell, Pennsylvania site
where papa (a pricey
senior folk facility), he doth stage
his final showdown

consigning grim reaper
to tender body, mind, and spirit equipage
regarding preparations undertaken
heading enroute to netherlands
corporeal essence repurposed for unknown usage

though disbeliever in afterlife,
at least our beloved dada
will be freed (once and for all)
presently locked in solitary confinement
disgraceful undeserving penitential sinful wage.

Impossible mission to renounce humor
mine healthy coping mechanism de jure
sprinkling badinage doth beckon and lure
no matter said topic of death lacks cure,

unlike non mortal trial and/or
tribulation oftimes, I communicated before
namely other poetic endeavors
with reasonable rhymes less or more

yours truly hashed out, cuz apropos
persiflage my middle name
helping me endure
declining health and concomitant score,
regarding the once strapping handsome man,

who nsync with mama begat your
truly decent aspiring wordsmith
whereby cloaked skeleton
wielding a large scythe
very soon whisks away loved one extempore,

which bon voyage forever
means onset of tears and sorrow endure
however long mourning process prevails
possibly remaining years I remain healthily alive
perhaps (ideally) at least two score.

Lockdown courtesy coronavirus (COVID-19)
limits administration towards he who birthed us
(myself, and two siblings,
an older and younger sister), a plate glass screen,
nevertheless, I envision an emotional scene
bidding permanent laissez faire thee well,
who will soon rejoin Harriet,
his dearly departed forever queen.
Michael John Sep 2023
i

still no idea,
nope,death just
round the corner..

ii

****,i mean,
what was the point?
shed some tears

iii

deranged laughter..
the dark-some light
badinage..

iv

no cohesive strategy!?
but keep quiet
small change..

— The End —