I hope you still think of me
I hope you still drink for me
I hope all the lights
feel so dim
when you're missing me

Watch anger crash, crash, crash
into the steady banks of calm
an immovable object
plagued by an unstoppable force

like the waves of an ocean
buffeting the walls of a castle
If given eternity, the walls will fall
the rash, the hateful, the angry will win

However, we are but humans
so you are welcome to crash
your wrath
into my walls
until you die

&  I'm trying to extinguish it

I still love you
or at least I still love that girl
that I met, the one who played with bugs
and was so fluttery herself.
I've written this before
this lacks any spark
I've taken this fall before
this lacks any treachery
I've blurted this apology before
this lacks any meaning
But if I could take the he
out of them
and leave a speakable word,
I would say it with you
and if I could take the last four months
out of forever
I would die to do it

I needed a rock but all I found was rock bottom
No one could have stopped me
I was so determined to find it
Maybe a failure doesn't bounce
until he hits the ground
but I'm not sure I want to live with the bruises
Hurting you is the deepest
darkest
largest bruise that I covet
and I use that word for a reason
Its not right how close I come to wanting
what I hate
Some of these walls are learned
but they're all self made
including the one that stands between my heart
and yours
and right now
the person I am would trade everything he has
for the knowledge possessed
by an expertly trained demolitions team
but HE CANT
and he knows good and well
that if he did
the person he becomes in those few
candlelight hours of slumber
between today and tomorrow
would only use the stolen craft
to come crashing down on himself
and on you

im smiling so much
   and i cant stop
im a little nervous because i feel like im going to mess this up
   but i know it's going to be okay because its you


******* i love you

I needed you, and you weren't there.

This house

This house is yours 
This house is mine 
This house is open anytime
This house is happy
This house is whole
This house welcomes any soul

This house is home

here
let me die
here

I am hope
I am faith

for I died
for everybody
around me

I did not
die for me

**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
but I love you
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me
**** me