You took care of all of my booboos
Kissed all my scars
But when mental woes came
I was discard.
I am terrified now,
to come to you,
I don't want you to look at me
Like I'm twisted.
Worthless,
I felt like that for three ******* years!
But when it's your mother,
the pain is so much more unbearable than you thought

Pen is sharp,
Paper is soft,
Ink is thick,
Words are sour.
Lines and dashes,
Cuts and Slashes,
Pain and sorrow,
Never a new tomorrow.
Tomorrow is bleak,
Bleach stings,
Wrapped around my throat,
An eternal ring.
Tied to pain,
Til' death do I part,

My pain is like the Mississippi
A current so strong,
I can't tell up or down.
I just sit here,
Searching on how to end it.
And ignoring the number.
My reopened cuts don't help,
and neither does my bleeding lip,
The only way I'll find peace,
Is if I end it.
School is not a place of terror,
I feel safe,
Because my real prison,
Is one I'll never escape.
Home is a prison,
My room a cell,
A place to get away,
From the downstairs hell.
People who are supposed to be,
Comfort and support,
Hurt and torment me
Without even knowing.
I'll be free one day,
From all this pain,
But there are two paths to choose,
Which one will I take?

Why can't life stop?
Why won't it leave me alone?
I guess everything I do, I can't trust myself.
My actions have no meaning,
My word empty,
And when I can't tell up from down
Life throws another curveball.
I'm getting bad again,
From guessing myself
Maybe I should stop
But I can't,
and that's when I'm most vulnerable,
And my monsters come out to play.

Are you out there?
That perfect someone.
Taller than 5 feet
With your disheveled hair
And your imperfect good looks.
I don't mean you pretty boys
I want the beautiful ones
With all the flaws.
Inside and Out.
I love your flaws
Will you love mine?
Do you feel pain
do you embrace it
and let it wrap around you with familiarity?
Are you open or listen to good music?
An avid country music hater.
You are out there
Perfectly Imperfect Boy.
Where are you?
Because I have yet to find you.
So you can kiss me unexpectantly
and make me laugh.
So you can break my walls
Piece by piece
Till I am nothing left but myself.
Come rescue me
On your black horse
In anyway you desire.

I look at you and I smile.
You look at me and you smile.
It makes me happy.
It pushes me to believe in us
More and More each day.
But I look behind me
and I see Her.
Always Her.
Not Me.
I see you in the hallways
Waving someone over.
I take a step and something zooms by.
And it's Her.
Always Her.
Not Me.
Your broken heart cannot heal
without something
And it's Me.
Always Me.
Not Her.
When you are ready to love again
It's Her.
When you love with all you heart
It's Her.
But when you are hurt and heartbroken
Looking for a shoulder to cry upon.
When you look for something to use
time and time again
Only to throw away like nothing
time and time again
Why can't it be Her?
I think it might be Me you love-
But it's her.
Not me.
Always Her.
Not.
Me.