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Here I stand at the abyss
waiting for that very first kiss.
My heart beats, then it skips
as I bend to touch your lips.

Here I rock at lovers doom
scenting your bodies sweet perfume.
My head spins, then it slips
as you reach and kiss my lips.

Here I fall at my great risk
but now, only we exist.
My heart hums, then it sings
as your lips pull the strings.

Here I lie in lovers bliss
having now that very first kiss.
My head explodes, then flies free,
I'm so pleased that you kissed me.



© Pagan Paul (Dec 2016)
Nobody wants a body
When given so easily.
Nobody trusts
In lust.
He will fail to see
What is dormant
In the soul and heart
Of the hands that touch
And the mouth that kisses.
And the advantage lies
In his taking.
While she is overlooked
Because society says something else.
And the rules were broken,
Just like her heart will be.
Because he can’t choose her.
He can only have her.
MKD 2016 (c)
How do we know
The reasons for coming here?
What if we feel too little,
About things much bigger than us?
And maybe I led you here,
Where you don’t want to be.
Maybe there is a hole
So dark inside of me.
What if you see, what if you see….

But there are a thousand beats
Out there in the city’s heart,
Out there in the oceans crash,
In the silence of your eyes.
In the sound of this dark.

So maybe we’ll just be here,
In the darkness that we share,
Safe from the light
That can expose the feelings,
Smaller than us, but bigger than this.
The things of indifference,
That we wrap into our embrace,
As we undress the souls within,
Because something is better than nothing.

And what if you see,
What if you come to know me,
And in that you learn,
Of all the things that make me burn.
Or what if you don’t see,
What if you can’t find me in me…

And if I am wrong,
If I have brought you here
Into the space laden with grit,
Then we can have tonight,
Before we kiss beneath the sunlight,
One last touch as we separate.
MKD 2016 (c)
of some hard rock
out of snow powder
the alarm ringing in the morn
when I have had two hours shut ******* eye
I love hell out of some butterbean ****
a handful of ***
the last drop of malt liquor
the taste of that last kiss
the sound of an unmuffled
69 Mustang
red of course
drive in movie screens
old quality movie stars:
Audrey Hepburn-
Holly Golightly-
you'll always remain in my
brain
on what side the bed she may fall out of
when 4 pm comes around,
depends , portends which one of her I come
home to.
She may be Happy hilarious good mood
Beatrice, that
is a day I cherish,
or if she falls off the end she may be sultry all go for it
Sadie , with her world of tricks lined up,
their numbers in her hand,
If perchance she never gets out the stove is cold the cats all
fuss, the dog has ****** all
over the house,
and she is comatose Katie,
She one time got off on her knees,
I came home about ten-thirty for lunch to find
a shrine built out of every ring necklace
pearl she could find piled  up in a heap
by the fireplace , and her in a sarong
chanting, she said she was Bodhisattva,
a nice day is when she arises with healing thoughts,
dresses in that white dress those hose
the comfy nurse shoes, and greets me at
the door with her stethoscope,
I say Hi,  Nurse Ratched!
A work in progress , several more to go!
Picasso had it right, you know...
there is no such thing as perfect.
Yet, there is gratitude in the flaw;
there is hope in the falsehood.

She appeared to me
as the manifestation of a fantasy.
I thought that
the perfection within her
blossomed her appearance as symmetry.

The madness
of my obsession cemented
upon her scent.
The string instrument
vibrations of my heart so nuanced,
so rare, yet, so familiar a dream as to be recollections
of heaven.
If she, living, tastes like love,
do delicious pastries
taste like death

The more I knew of her,
the less I knew
pain,
until...

From our love,
so robust in its ripeness,
time gormlessly gorged upon us,
and we decayed,
like seeds in the apple
trapped and never to be free.

It was then that I saw her flaws
and it seemed they were "real"
The distortions grew numerous
and each beauty lost appeal,
peeling away to slowly reveal
the scars that Frankenstein
couldst never, ever heal,
for his monster's myriad scars
are the pillars of its humanity...

Picasso measured the conflicted angles,
and saw perfection would rob them of life.
It is the awkward jostling of misshapen things
that gives them movement, as they ever so try to
shift into place, but if they were to do so,
they would be as the yonder rock,
or the caged boiling soup
of ancient fuel all
perfection
will
be
...

So
I let her go;
I freed myself of
the death I refused to
become. And when she broke,
I told her,
"When you are whole,
you will be happy to break, again."
Break bread with love.
I had, until today, maintained the belief,
that perfection is simply the highest potential
of what we are capable of in the moment.
Yet, I have found myself constantly trying to achieve my potential,
ignoring the fact that I was not capable of potential,
I was only capable of trying.
It means that
Instead of reaching for the goal,
I should have been making the necessary steps
(one step at a time)
and not forcing an insanity upon myself of what I understood as
the full extent of my ability,
because the more I expected my best in each moment,
then failed to succeed and later regretted my "inability", the more I lost sight of the fact that some moment are meant to be,
simply enjoyed for their
worth.

You see, I lost my conception of value, and furthermore the ability to practice evaluation. This occurs when you lose touch with reality.

I won't go on and on about it, so, this is where my commentary ends today.

In conclusion: if we lose touch with reality, we have to get back to what we understand is real: our core conception of reality; and build from there... we may just find that we are remaking ourselves, as the person we were before was headed to nowhere, or to disaster... don't waste away and waddle in despair.

I hope you've enjoyed this! Peace :)

DEW
My darling, Nature, don't leave.
I was never good to you,
but
do
re
mem
ber,
I love you.

I kissed your back with water.
I ran my fingers along your womb with rake
I burned the poison with fire
I withdrew from you, for your sake!

It was easy to stand apart,
wasn't it?
Yet you never left me,
no, no,
and I never stayed.

When seasons are delayed,
I never blame you,
no!
I blame myself
myself!
I'm horrid
to abandon you
my Human Nature.
A planet unto its own.

Where are your gardens?
My mind? My soul? My heart?
Where are your temples?
My bonds? My kin? My world?
Where are your laws?
My books? My emotions? My life? My death?
These are all things I can grasp,
yet grasp no longer.
Things I can feel,
yet watch the bridges
burn!

And they say it is your fault,
Nature.
Dare I call you by your name?
Dare I call you Human!

so many tears so little effort to stop them
and all our lives are washed away
because the flood is pain
and the end
is
me.
I just felt like writing this one.
Maybe it's to myself,
maybe it's to us all.

Enjoy, but do think.

DEW
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