I know it hurts so much
For me to hear you say it
Though I understand you
We must move on by then

It's hard for me to process
But I have to face it all
In order for me to move on
I have to erase our memories together

The first time I met you
It felt like we were meant to be
My heart was skipping a beat
As I approached you with confidence

We began going out in a low-key manner
Still with friends
Getting to know you slowly
And getting comfortable with one another

Until one day
You gave me a text that we need to meet
I felt the excitement jumping in me
Only to find out that it was the complete opposite on that Saturday

You said you weren't ready and we're still young
I told my intentions to you
But that would mostly be the last time I talked to you
And see you

I know that someone else will love you much better than me
His efforts would mean much more than mine
I pray that you'll remember all the good times we had together
And now it's time for me to tell you that it's time to let me go

It's 00:05
I still can't sleep
Is there something in my head
That makes me not want to sleep
It's a complex mind that I have

No voices
Just a hollow mind
Or is it
I can feel something's going on
It just doesn't feel right

Am I to say that I have feelings to compensate
Maybe I guess
It's not insomnia either
But what could it be

1 AM
Still awake
Walking down 9th Avenue
Wondering where I'm going

I lost track of my steps
Now I am just wandering
Few steps later
I'm at 32nd

Oh you doubtful
When will you ever realize
That this journey has meaning
And are you willing to see it

Look up
You're getting there
Keep walking
Till the sun comes back up

I wish I could turn back time
Where I had my happiness
My happy place
My peace

Now that it's taken away from me
I am lost
Stranded
And depressed

I don't know if there's hope for me
I can't even think straight
I've lost what I found
And I can't find my true source

I am in pain
My heart beats slowly
It's ailing with sadness
And I'm dying

I need help
I'm sinking in darkness
I can't do it alone
Help me

I am no God
I am no Captain America
I am no superhero
I am not perfect

I make mistakes
I commit sins
I make errors
I've done stupid things

Trust me
I've been through this
And I tend to give up
But I still kept going

Being human is fun
Learn from your mistakes
We live and learn
Stay positive and keep your head above water

I always find myself at the edge of a cliff
Wondering how will I keep on going
How will I endure this war
If I am not ready to fight

I see myself isolated in a room
Taking notes on how to survive
As I see myself on the mirror
I see a demon waiting for me to die

I hear voices in my head
Where they smell fear in me
I can feel their claws running down my skin
As they are ready to take my soul

Their tails are as sharp as a double-edged blade
Ready to stab me through the heart
I don't know if I'm willing to trust myself if I will live
My entire life's on the line

I'm praying that nothing happens to me
My friends
My family
And to my beloved

Sleepless nights conquer me
I try to find answers around me
But I can't find any
I've wasted every second

I don't what to do anymore
Maybe I'm ready to die
I just don't know when
I'm full of doubts

Months after his passing
I was broken, beat, and bruised
I don't know what to feel
As I sat in silence in a dark room

Demons haunt me
I hear their voices
Life in general was pointless
So I thought suicide was the option

Sleepless nights
Heavy thinking
I hear my demons over and over again
No point in living anymore

Death has found me
And it wants me to take my life as I broke down
I see shadows of my past
With a hint of blood

I've seen my own shadows
They walk in dark pastures
As they head to the Valley of Shadow of Death
My eyes are set to close as I breathed heavily

Until one day
There was a light of hope gazing through my eyes
I see a hand reaching out to me
With a voice saying "My son, come back to me"

I broke down in tears
As I held His hand with my blood all over
He spoke to me and said
"You are loved by My love"

I repented for what I did
And after hearing His voice and holding His hand
I found the courage to keep on living
And endure the journey no matter what the circumstances

I have finally broken my silence
With open wounds, dry blood, and a used knife
My eyes were staring at my limbs
I broke down in tears with agony

I knew I am loved by a God who loves me for who I am
I just didn't see it
After months of agony
I have found a reason why I deserve to live