I have this dream.
I'm drowning.
We go over the cliff.
I'm trapped.

Tired of being used.
Of being berated.
Simplified to a simple on and off switch.
Enough had been had
and so I was gone,
Flown free.
Soaring.
Crimson splattering in my path.
Seemingly insurmountable.
Extremities and follicles fly
as did the acrimonious "victim".
"Can you turn the fan on please"
Was the beginning of the end for some
and the end of the beginning for others.

The only place I get to see you
anymore is my dreams.
Even if,
even there,
you hate me.
And I am alone.
At least I can hear you
I can see you
I can be with you

You remind me of him
It's heartbreaking and comforting at the same time
The little things he did
You do
I know better
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result
I don't think that's true
But what I do think is I need to do something different
I need to change the result
So no,
I won't do that for you
No, we can't watch that movie over facetime
No, we can't even facetime
No, I won't tell you my philosophy of life
Because I did that for him
I did that with him
And look where it got me