I have a thousand and one voices in my head, none of them mine
I am holding my hand out, through the crowd
Faceless voices and bodies, milling about in my head
I reach through them,  hoping I can grab hold of her (them?)
And pull them (her?) up out of the void
Otherwise, I fear, she (they?) might fall and disappear into the chasm
I think I need some help
Someone to grab my ankles and lower me down
Until I can reach her (them?)
Reaching
Reaching
Reaching
But my hands stay empty
They stay empty
And I worry, I'll stay empty forever
With no respite,
From a thousand and one voices inside my head, none of them mine

I was today years old when i realised
that if your heart were to shatter
mine would too

i think my heart is constructed from the little pieces that i take
from the people who mean the most to me
for example, in the right top corner
you can hear the notes of your laughter as we dance around you
and just below that, you'll see the way your face brightened as you talked about something stupid
to me
but important
to you

these feelings that make up my heart are
like bricks,
laid messily atop one another
with your happiness the mortar in-between

and i think

if tears were to roll off your face
onto my heart
they would dissolve that mortar,
weaken the structure just a little
until it shatters

into tiny pieces,
like rubies in the sunlight,
glinting crimson and warm

of course,
hearts can be patched together
a steady hand, some glue and

a whole load of patience

but,
that's what i'm here for right?

Define: Anxiety
(n) A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome
Worry, nervousness, unease
All true
But in reality?
Anxiety settles in the fissures of your mind
Squats in the darkest recesses
And laughs at you,
Crushes you
Asks questions like,
Was I good enough?
Am I good enough?
Will I be good enough?

The body is a series of puzzles put together to make one big puzzle.
The mind.
The body.
The ***** systems.
The tissues.
The cells.

Puzzles within puzzles.

Mental health takes those puzzles
Lays them upon a flat surface
And swings its hammer in a wide arc
To Shatter those puzzles,
Break up the tiny, interlocked pieces,
And scatter them across the plane of your soul.

She loved art,
more so when she’s using red
Bright- filled with joie de vivre.
Dark- deep and sophisticated.
Soon her colour pencils will get blunt,
if not already broken
She reaches over to her drawer
full of sharpeners,
all either bladeless or with rusty metals
She takes a brand new one out of its packaging
and admired its beauty,
Its lustrous metal gleam
She unscrews it and began drawing red
on her pale, see-through canvas
The metal cold on her blue veins
unlike the warm red, now in a crimson shade.

Smile
Speak quietly
Conjugate words
Kiss

Smile
Show teeth
Stick out your tongue
Salivate

Smile
Scream loudly
Hold breath
Swallow

Smile
Taste flavor
Pleasure him
Masticate

Smile
Speak eloquently
Say ahh
Repeat