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Oct 2012 · 511
Above Water
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
I want to say it so badly.
I do know.
I'm so afraid of it.
I'm in deep.
I won't get out,
I can't get out.

The water's fine,
What about sharks?
I'm doubting myself,
"Just dive under."

You look up at me;
You fell long before I did.
You're already there,
waiting patiently/impatiently.
You can't get out.

Save you?
Forget about the sharks,
I need to do this myself.
Diving is easy when you're already in the water..

I'll close my eyes.
I'll flutter them open again.
I see you,
I don't see a trap.
I'll say it:
Oct 2012 · 567
Stop is Bad Advice
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
Once you stop looking for what you need,
It looks for you instead.
It finds you there
On the side of the street
With a look of defeat
But also regret
Somehow it knows you are prepared
For what's next
You haven't really lost
Just not yet finished.
Still learning
But have learned.
From mistakes some people like to call
Experience.
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes."- Oscar Wilde
Oct 2012 · 393
"We watch a lot of movies."
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
Not really.
Well sort of.
We watch for a few minutes.
Until...
We think the same thing.
You look at me
I at you
We smile in unison
Gravitate towards each other
Then the real movie starts.

We watch the end,
I go towards the door.

"Just one more?"
"You don't have to ask twice."

"How was the movie?"
Oh dear.
Oct 2012 · 460
I dreamt.
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
I was talking.
I was falling.
And then I was dreaming.
About you, about me, us.
About life, where I wasn't, where I should be.
Then I was awoken.
Not under the covers.
Not in my bed.
On the cold hard floor.
Where the lights were blinding, shifting, hot.
Where everyone looked at me worried, whispered, stared.
This has happened before.

It's nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing more than a dreamt reality.
Nothing more than a place I wish I never had waken up from
How long will it be until someone wakes me again?
Oct 2012 · 739
Waves Crash Like This
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
Waves crash like this,
Building force of water
Grinding in pattern-like motion
Pushing bodies up towards the surface
Gasping for air
Crashing into reality
Where the ocean meets the sky
Feeling the surroundings
then
Settling
Like a decrescendo
Shaking out evenly
Leaving with a fear
Of what comes next
But we all know
It will be a wave that crashes
Differently,
But like this.
Oct 2012 · 712
Under the Bones of My Ribs
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
I always have this fear
It hides underneath
In between my ribs
Reminding me it's there
It tugs in my chest
It whispers up through my throat
To my vocal chords
To the outside of my lips
And in front of my eyes
Looking directly through me
Making everything vanish in my mind
I startle awake and
It's you.
Oct 2012 · 1.7k
Melted Popsicle Drippings
Veronica Emilia Oct 2012
You surprised me
Roman Holiday, my favorite
We watched
Talked
Felt your lips pressed on mine
Messy tongues
Each movement gliding with ease
Fingertips flutter and slide
And across my cheeks
Eskimo kisses make me blush a lot
Tugging your shirt for fear of letting you go
Are we moving too fast?
Never.
Please don't leave yet.

I felt bad for the lonely, uneaten popcorn.
Part III
Sep 2012 · 727
Acceptance of Particular
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
You definitely see me
In your line of sight
My shy eyes look for contact
with your wandering ones.

You cannot hear my voice reach
the depth of your ear drums
it's soft I know
but I won't speak louder.

I can't
I think too hard
About what to say
how to say it
Simplicity wreaks my mind.

I wait
My patience grows thin
I shrink
I won't grow back
because of you.

I want to
I'll try
try to be better for you
Show you
Will you please accept me?
Sep 2012 · 6.7k
Double Popsicle Sticks
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
Bad luck didn't stop us.
We walked, gazed at the colored trees,
you at my eyes.
The leaves on the ground
I saw when I blushed.
A lot.
Violet red, pointed, wet leaves, scattered.
Around us.
The rain fell but
you held me.
I listened and smiled.
How perfect,
You're too sweet.
Expectations replaced with actuality.
Fear for what comes next.
Part II
Sep 2012 · 1.7k
Popsicle Shivers
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
Cold nights and nervous bones
Your laugh makes me smile
The parking lot is empty
We are full of tentativeness
Cute awkwardness
This feels right
Like nothing else has before
I feel happy
I blushed a lot.
You're so sweet
You called me gorgeous
We didn't even touch
But it feels like we did.
Part I
Sep 2012 · 734
Red Lips and Tearless Eyes
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
She smeared on her lipstick
And slammed the door.

There were no tears left for him.
Her eyes were dry and aching.
Waiting for the feeling to rush over her.
Trying to push them out and get this over with.
Again.
Her bright lips trembled.

She walked ahead.
Made no eye contact with anyone that passed.
It was finally over.
Sep 2012 · 1.3k
Missing Persons
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
I miss everything I had before
this.
Everything that made me feel like
me.
Everyone who contributed to
us.

We're separated in a web.
A delicate spiders web that could break with one swift movement.
The spider can spin new strands and put some strands back together.
But it won't feel the same.

I miss talks I thought meant
nothing.
Talks that were taken for  
granted.
Talking and listening and laughing and crying with
you.

We're distanced from each other.
Our words come through like tin cans and string.
Who will cut the string that holds on tight?
Which one of us will reconnect it?

I miss the faces I can
remember.
Faces that I could see
smiling.
Eyes I could see lit or spilt with
tears.

Now I just see myself.
In the mirror but like a projection.
Portraying myself in what was called my life.
Looking through the matter that used to hold me together.
Sep 2012 · 1.3k
Your Hurricane.
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
The world is swirling around me.
Spiraling.
No.
I am the one spinning. Dazed and dizzy.
Whispers of my name become louder until they reach the top of the crescendo.
From you.
This isn't a dream.
I wake up to see you next to me.
You laugh, smile and touch my nose with your finger.
Why is this the way it has to be?
I am hidden in your hurricane.
You call me when you want.
When you want to fall in love with me instead.
I listen because you take me out of the hurricane.
You find and pluck me out only to throw me back in
this twirling madness later.
I wish I controlled the weather.
Sep 2012 · 997
You don't know, do you?
Veronica Emilia Sep 2012
I don't think you realize how many times I've been hurt.
Really hurt.
Like the first scrape of summer,
when you fall off your bike.
Until you've done it so much,
you feel numb.
You know the pain is still there.
You don't want to know though.
Toughing it out takes time.
There's no band-aid for the blood shed.
And no one to kiss it and make it better,
because it's not supposed to hurt anymore.
So you stand up the next time you fall,
bruised
torn
broken.
For everyone to see.
But can you really have bravery,
for ignoring the pain?
Aug 2012 · 967
True Misses
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
You say you miss me, how can this be true?
Everything just leads back to you.

I thought I was trying something else.

Instead I found myself talking
To you.
For 2 hours.

Laughing, joking, talking about things that matter.
Life.

And you know it's true that I miss you.
My sarcasm doesn't sound convincing.
Aug 2012 · 1.0k
You are Annoying.
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
I met someone new, I tell you.

His eyes are blue, he's nothing like you.

Except I can't help thinking of you.

It's hard to start things like this because of you.

You, stand there and stare at me. Our peircing blue eyes go through each other.

Because we both know it's you, that holds me back. You.

The one that doesn't care about me, it's quite stupid that everything I think of leads back to

you.
Aug 2012 · 665
Clicks
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
We just met.

You said "hi".

I was so surprised I could die.

We talked like we fit like clicks of locks.

You stared. Gazed. Star gazed.

At me.

                                                            ­                                             Until I discovered you have a girlfriend.

                                                    ­                                            Now I'm going to staple myself to the carpet.
Aug 2012 · 715
Under
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Unfortunately I cannot truly say I am over you

it's not true, you know it too.
You know me too well, it's too true.

Your believable stupid lies
I was stupid to believe.

Your eyes follow me across a room
Across a room I follow you.

Pathetic. Regret it. Forget it.

I can't.

I'm under you.
Aug 2012 · 634
Forget Me Dos
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Oh please do forget me and I will forget you.

Forget the nights you held me in your arms,

the nights we laid like spoons with the breath of alcohol on our lips.

Don't remember the way I watch you with your guitar,

I won't remember the notes you played for me.

Erase the memories of every sorry you ever said to me,

because you never were.

Keep the secrets I told you,

until you don't recall who told you to keep them.

Don't look for me in the crowd,

Look for my smile instead.

You won't ever find it.

Please forget who I am.
Because if you do maybe I'll forget you.
Aug 2012 · 415
Wasted Thoughts
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Why do I keep thinking of you

It doesn't matter anymore, I shouldn't like you

I hate you, yet for some reason thoughts of you lurk in my mind

We were friends, now what? Nothing?

What happened between us, only we know

Actually only you, I'm still confused

It wasn't that long

A summer wasted

I fell in a trap

Caught in what was seemingly untrue

And you.

What could possibly drift in your head?

Do you ever think of me, will you ever?

Everyone knows nothing

No one knows who you are exactly

What thoughts race through you

They don't understand you

Nether do I.

You told me, and I told you a lot.

You listened, you remembered even.

Now what?

Do you still ever think of me

Like I do of you?
Aug 2012 · 389
Left
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
It seems to me

I'm always left

Here

Just here, standing

A small piece

Of you, for awhile

Happens every time

I'm left here

Waiting for what?

You to come back?

No. Never.

Just waiting to be left again

And again

Here.
Aug 2012 · 1.2k
That Moment
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
You placed your hand on the small of my back. A spot I’d thought no one would fit. My hand gripped your waist almost for fear of losing you. The world surrounding us seemed to disappear. It was only me and you in that moment. A tear now shed. I believed in anything in that moment. Cold-hearted. Young. Unsure of what was right in society. When your hand released me, I was hurt. Seconds later you brought it back again along with that moment. I’ll long for that moment every time I seem to fall for someone. Maybe a moment that could last a lifetime. A moment that could be destroyed by no one because it was finally meant to be. How could you fall in love so many times and fall in the trap of that moment?
Aug 2012 · 1.3k
Not Quite Understood
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
What happened between us

a moment

wasted time

nervous hearts

confusion that seems to last

longer than it should

Are you confused?

A misunderstanding.

Too many thoughts of you,

It's not fair.

Stress. Anxiety.

Thinking too much,

believing nothing.

Not too sure

about you

what you could possibly be feeling.

How are you not affected?

Awkwardness.

Is it building?

What will happen next?

You're calling shots,

unless there's nothing that happened

in this crime scene.

Unsolved.
Aug 2012 · 673
No Delete Button
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Memories saved

pictures kept

drawings hidden

loves began

loves lost

everything,

nothing.

No delete button

you can't turn back

instead move forward

once you're gone

you're truly gone.

Everything,

nothing.
Aug 2012 · 422
Nothing.
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Standing on the shore.

I watch and wait.

What am I waiting for?

Nothing.

Just a moment to come by.

Maybe you.

Nothing.

This is the only time I am patient.

When waiting for nothing.

You might not understand now,

but you will.

Just watch the clouds that slowly dance

in the sky

Watch the sun move down the horizon,

changing rays of color.

Watch the waves flowing swiftly away.

Now you know what I am waiting for.

Nothing.
Aug 2012 · 378
Lost, in My Own
Veronica Emilia Aug 2012
Lost on a beach is where I'd want you to find me.

Walking alone, letting my heart beat it's own pace.

Smiling at the sun, you watch me.

Laughing as I trip in the sand.

Crying underneath the sound of the waves.

Would you hear me?

— The End —