People tell me to pray
They believe it will help
They say it will show me the way
But last year I prayed and waited
I waited and waited
Got beaten and bruise
I decided then I must be hated..
I was all alone
Day after day
I cried your name
Sang songs to you
But u never came
I thought I
was following your sign
But fell in another mental game
When I hit rock bottom
I was told all I do is whine
So why even bother
If I cant even be love by my own mother
Dear Heavenly father
Will I ever be worthy enough
To be called your daughter

i sat there on the shower floor
wringing out my heart full
of sadness and heartache
gasping for one dose of oxygen
to enter my lungs
choking back roaring screams
begging to slice the silence
struggling to keep my hands still
from trying to end the pain
aching to tell you that
this is who i become without you

The cool crisp evening air
We sit on a metal bench
Feel the wind blow through our hair
I look at her, feel the warmth of her skin
She no longer talks anymore
She stopped eating
She finally let depression win
Her eyes stare into the unknown
She couldn't handle the constant rejection and teasing
So into the river, she threw her phone
I grabbed her hand that's quickly turning cold
The slits in her wrist create a puddle
the blood turns brown as it gets old
The color in her face continues to go
She begins to shivers as she gets more cold
I look into her eyes
Soon her soul will be no more
She whispers softly....I tried
I hug her tightly and reply ....I know

I feel damaged, I feel broken
see depression had me trapped
At a young age
well before I had even spoken
When I was 8, I saw someone get sick
I spiraled infront of everyone
they saw me as a burden so
I was sent home real quick
When I was 10, I laid in bed
for two months...
I watched the same movie
and refused to eat because the demons in my head
When I was 12, I was scared to leave ..
my house and even my bedroom
I would hyperventilate
then cry so hard I'd heave
When I was 18
I screamed till my voice was no more
my cries echoed off the walls
but no one cared to notice
what happened behind my bedroom door
When I was 19, I was too nice
I put others first
but little did I know
a piece of my heart was the price
I am broken, I am damaged
everyday I wake up
surviving the day is always a challenge