when i say „i’m okay“
my head is empty, just like my soul
i would like to call it a bliss
but at the same time it’s the evidence
for my never ending
lack of control

some outsiders would assume
„it‘s just a bad day“
and i think
i forgot to mention that
i‘m okay
everyday

let your depression soak up all your emotions that are left
in that so called heart
between your ribs

let your blade be the relief of your pain
that is going to be
the only feeling you’ll be left to feel
after the ****** scars finally covered every part of your hips

let your negative thoughts
control your life
until the so called heart eventually shatters into its
toxic broken pieces
which reflect the emptiness
in your eyes
the stony hole in your chest
now lost its ability to fix
your soul

let yourself fully dive
into the process of
slowly
dying
inside

congratulations,
you just lost the ability to feel and unlocked
„survive“

ps: there’s no chance that  you’ll ever again receive your ability to feel

when i say „i’m okay“
i mean that i finally did not
burst into tears over smt
that reminded me of you
today

okay
when i say „i’m okay“
i mean that i did think about putting parts of my skin
instead of my body hair
between the sharp blades of my razor
but did not do it
today
cause i was sick of the ****** flavor
that my tongue
already got used to taste
at the age of eleven
as it all started with my insane behavior
as i first experienced depression
which kept haunting me till
this day

okay

when i say „i’m okay“
my head is empty, just like my soul
i would like to call it a bliss
but at the same time it’s the evidence
for my never ending
lack of control

some outsiders would assume „it‘s just
a bad day“,
and i think
i forgot to mention that
i‘m okay
everyday