when i say „i’m okay“
i mean that i finally did not
burst into tears over smt
that reminded me of you
today

okay
when i say „i’m okay“
i mean that i did think about putting parts of my skin
instead of my body hair
between the sharp blades of my razor
but did not do it
today
cause i was sick of the ****** flavor
that my tongue
already got used to taste
at the age of eleven
as it all started with my insane behavior
as i first experienced depression
which kept haunting me till
this day

okay

when i say „i’m okay“
my head is empty, just like my soul
i would like to call it a bliss
but at the same time it’s the evidence
for my never ending
lack of control

some outsiders would assume „it‘s just
a bad day“,
and i think
i forgot to mention that
i‘m okay
everyday