The other side of a place is a calling
for indifference
That is the other place

I’ve had years of ambiguity
Dark gray rings on laser stripped moonbeams
Tasting the edge of lemon peels
Savouring the after effects on my lips
Like green mint listerine
On my tongue

Unwrapping
the lengths
of my fingers
Feeling like I’ve been tossed away
Still Finding ways of testing
Out
Where the ends connect

Kinesthetic thoughts firing like billiards
Neurons couldn’t keep up
I felt untouched
Without self-worth

Because the specifics have yet to be realized
This was story of my mind
I voided myself

Dissonance felt calm
As wavelengths perused
The earthy sands
Printed their scattered
Particles
Dust flames
Bubbling experiences
Explored moments
Have been the seas
Waiting to erupt into volcanic domes

Lava drenches all that make us: afraid is when the air is nothing but pressure
A temporary frontal sinusitis
Hoping for Freedom from arrested development
Not enough reflection
Felt like Creating everything else
but a still life



I am looking for my other
In another place

I’ve heard for so long:

“You’ve seen so much
Which enables you
To understand so much”


The lack inside
Composed
My cravings
To raise a standard in me
I never knew existed

Acting on all of my learning
Accumulated awareness
as a young adult woman

This is the beauty of  
Transformation

To know when it’s your time
and to do it with care

Wash My Guts: from this Loneliness  

Wash my guts
This swallow never felt so purposeful

Trains myself to be alive
A speeding train feels like my past

Kicked soot
Gone awry

I can't stand here anymore
Too many metaphors
Spinning in my mind


My mind
Stares into scenes I never wished to meet

These are just the patterns of life


Its okay to live even if it hurts
Go ahead
Taste those tears

Put your foot back on the stool

Take your gold tooth out

And fold your hands

Turn your survival chain
Up
back
around

For the family to pass one last time without
Me.

I was in a two world collision  
on a twofold page
enclosed by the book of politically correct

I don’t go by a hedonistic phrase
but by the future of a humanity gone unsaved
Showed me the way in every choice
I made
Swift decisions
into future visions

By the agency of existence for the barriers standing as truth
What is integrity? Perception
In the eyes of you and me  

The crackling sparkles of glass clinking
when we say cheers

This journey is only a conversation in tangled forms  

And the beauty of it; misinterpreted  


There is a path of misunderstanding between the selves  
Bold and timid
Harmed yet relentless  
Precise in its impact
Churning substance into form

The reality of what we believe in a single word  
The silence of motion  
Doing the best we can to discover who we are
Gains a lifetime in the moment  

of confronting the new and answering time
I’ve learned from the ghosts of my past errors
The presence of the now is the acceptance of revelation
An exchange of meaning is not only of ideas  
but of the freedom one allows oneself to feel from a life made into meaning

Colored matter
Transformation days
Exposes the gates
of my future
Life in the heavenly divine

We come from separate lives
And we feel the separation in them

But when we find home...

Home feels the most comfortable peace
Tasting the best kept promise

How to be: True to Love  

Strike me with your electric love.
Create lightning in a bottle, release to feel our energies rushing through
We are beyond this universe.
And Not to be replicated.

Ask yourself:

What is the threshold you are willing to standardize

You repeat what has not been repaired.
Through acknowledging our values and understanding the circumstances that have changed us we heal through our questions.
As the progress and the process is saying yes to our evolution

Enlightenment is a recognition of what you have through being who you are.

Life and Death

Energy and Peace

Solar Dial

The impossible Find

Fading glory…



               Brings the feat

                 Of triumph
    
                 Of remorse

                 Of solitude
            
                 Of all virtues

                 Expanding  

                 Yet still yearning for my affection

                
                As Adoration adores

                Love bestows
                In its own time

Careful with courage...

Deeply rooted truths
twisted breaths into
my life

the loneliness took navigating through

the loss that came to me in baskets of highlighted mystery

the past achievers who didn’t survive

I made a promise to my ancestors
between my golden coins
lipstick buried in red dangling

Chair and purse
off it’s arch

Sit me back down on the groundedness
Bring me back to please

Freeze me
but why after you dismiss me?

To the dream awakening
don’t hurt me
protect my mind
whispers in my ear

I swear to my ceremony

I am careful with courage...

Synchronicity is a beautiful form of gentle ******* which is needed for internal freedom. Mind, body, and spirit. 💜

I don’t want to see you as everything
the parts of things
You
all of me pushed out
That is all me

I don’t need to hear from you everyday
Just to know you’re somewhere out there
Time has shown its color  
You are able to find that solid ground on your own
And so am I.

Art has the ability to name through the body. The mind is a part of the body.

We are something more outside of the physical body but all creation starts as a frame which lies in the physical body.

If you were to reflect each day on what mediums you used today, how would that affect your Art, your movement, your writing, your expression?
How did the source of expression illicit different feelings and movements for you?
Feel curious and invited into awareness of your own perception preferences and those around you.

Everyday situations arise
I take them as they come, but I am also intentionally driven to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself
I hold myself to a standard
Expectations are saviors because they enable us to lift spirits and serve our own purpose
as personal responsibilities to ourselves take hold
The promises we keep in our hearts only to share them aloud
In a wider frame
When times present as challenges
I am resilience
I represent diligently
The inspiration I breathe
To make an impact as motivator
As therapist
As artist
As creator
From my mind
And fluidly into the world - a powerful mode of being

Arrival of a vision- Artist and Expressive Arts Mental Health Therapist

My energy is spiral with you
Rounded in circular determination
Square in its intention

Honest as the heart of the one
Who secures the actions of a safety pin
Tightly fastened; stretched to its will

Our connection is not other worldly,
But made from the same sphere
The invisible in our hands
Wipes the grain of all doubt
That is true magic.

A beautiful painting in existence.
Is the artist in his or her reality
In as many moments as you need to get it right.  
To be in order to create the destiny of where your work needs to be for you and you only.
Listen to your intuition. It knows.

In every season of life we must purge our Spirits of the cut stems of the past and learn how find what is meant to last.

The choice is you and the will through me
Choice + Will = Love

Stay present
Take time for yourself
Keep directing your energies
To the universal
That works with you
When you collaborate

No matter how far away you feel from someone or something, you can always reach out without doubting why
Taking risks and enjoying the process is ultimate happiness

Progression begins by elevating and positioning stability

When you know you have
When you believe you become

I thought of her as my best friend.
The sister, the role-model.
I never had that from another woman.
Almost a decade older.
She was blonde and Brazilian.
A former successful attorney.
What does that really mean though?

The woman I was becoming:
Shifting to disempowered without even knowing who I was spending my time with.
Damaged and betrayed
She looks for external fixes for internal problems.
Let’s buy some hair and skin care for you, she’d say.
Ignoring people. Always working.
Without knowing why.
Uncommitted to her appointments.
Lost in her 1 dimensional world
It sounded like 5 out loud.
Something felt off.

I continued talking to her about all my relationships, it felt like her life was spilling into mine and I couldn’t get out.
She encouraged me through her own past to be involved with a man who was highly unwell and attempted harm on us both.

These were the facades of the longest shadow, and also where the most leaning in, learning, growth, and shifting took place for me.

She never made time to be my friend.
Women who invite you over to cook and bake, go out for dinner or tea, drink, make silly videos on YouTube, get your hair and nails done, and drag you to parties, may be friendly towards you but they aren’t necessarily what we call friendship.
Physical and emotional care is wellness. And I knew it.

But, we ignore the signs I think because we believe ourselves into feeling like we need someone when they don’t need anyone.
We don’t need, we just focus on building ourselves, discovering health in new ways.

Values, personal qualities, standards, strengths, and illuminated boundaries are the ingredients to the foundation of a true friend.

It took me almost 2 years to speak up and drop the knife.

Look for the meaning in the experience.

Nothing can make up for the aligned place within.

I have since showed up to never expected experiences that I created from what I’ve healed from.

Now this woman can go inside, she can shift it, and externally it must change.

This is personal power.
Evolving deeper and deeper into the highest expression of who I was meant to be.

We all have attributes that make-up our  character.

Attributes show up, but they are inherent to our nature and it is a matter of adaptability to get out of situations that we need in order to be our best and to become these healed attributes.
And it happens through living our higher self. And that self is mere awareness.
Dive in. I believe in you.

Those ravenous pupils
Eyes like scones looking through
a night of soft porcelain
On the moon
Did you use today?

Eyes glazed astray
After looking at me for so long
Hard and tender

I remember the crystal stars in you shine
within that fermenting distant heart of yours

Feeling their misunderstanding intertwined
so defined; yet hidden from me still  

Bright lights under the cleavage of Paradise
grinning at the idea of one day
sober
changing our lives
forever

You'll be amazed by what you attract after you start believing in what you deserve.

These poems share in the experience of not feeling strong mentally and emotionally and even physically because there is pressure to act or appear more human.
Whether is be felt pressures from our family, peers, colleagues, or society at large we are all facing and fearing what we cannot explain or control. These are the challenges of life, but they are okay, they are precisely what makes us strong and capable of healing our emotions, our bodies, and our past wounds, however they may appear on the outside.  
I hope it provides some guidance as to how to overcome these challenges when the dynamics and the circumstances of life feel  like a burden or when other humans  misunderstand or feel misunderstood by us too.
To cancel out this void, it is within our mental control and our will to choose listening over ignorance, to preserve safety over self ridicule, to find inner strength to make tough decisions when we need to; cultivating empathetic compassion towards the ambition that is to become our most promising forms of personal and social resilience in all of our relationships.

The anxiety of the unexplained
Is like an impoverished state
A mental ache
Caged alone
Sidestepping the back of an alleyway
pummeled in
cobwebs
Squeamishly awaiting the sentencing of a scarcity filled critter approaching its death

The existence of him; an individual
And myself
I thought I knew what I felt at the time
The excitement in my chest
at the very thought of speaking to him aloud
Even in my thoughts
In my dreams
The relationship between them
has been severed by it

As though it had been abandoned
By the riverbed
of endless possibilities
met with the banks of effortlessness neglect to which nothing happens in the end

I kept
waiting for more to flood my insides
in due time


It was not my energy alone
that was responsible for this repeated
Cycle
We were unprotected and unrenewed: despite him always speaking of protection
it was manipulation before any sort of new,
A blinded experience
That I did not choose to see

Only a man who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, will live the best of relation
to another as something that can grow and remain alive

I willed myself to exhaustion

This existence of fear
as a large or small window depending on the day, I only knew pieces of that room, he showed me a heart contained by secrecy

Placed by a locked door
a slipshod floor on which he walked
up and down the steps of my attempted understanding

He had his own fatal security
And a dangerous
insecurity that created a madwoman out of me

I felt out the shape and the textures of his cornering
A room set up to be a closet without light
He said he is a prophet
Like God
But all he created was himself as a stranger

To me and whoever knew him

I did not want to be a prisoner.
But I felt trapped
Nothing could worry me
I kept going with it

I had no reason to
mistrust that world for it wasn’t against me.

YetI was alone and the dangers did I try to love

It seemed to me the most alien
But I wanted to trust him without faith.
How can that be? It was not in faith that I believed.

Perhaps all the wolves of our lives are cloaked
in false princes clothing
waiting to see us
even for a single moment
beautiful and brave

And they don’t even know why

“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”

Crushed

Winged

Mission

Pores

This is..

A mind ****

For

Forever is a myth


Eternity is reality

Kept under watch
Released by a cure

Jarred and Always Visible

Intangible at its best

Remember;
A treasure never hunts
It feels

Have you ever imagined what it feels like to be a missing piece

The sweet precision of what you live to feel

Introducing yourself to new roles
and positions

To absorb
To admit
To respond
To participate

What is reality but a source of our current condition of consciousness

Consider this

Control is nothing but the power of a sword
Stuck in the dead of winter

Trusting the complexity that will create your newness
Trusting the reality of complexity in relationships
I never anticipated having this kind of innovation or expectation to live the life I imagined, but I rose up to them over and over again like running water falling over my shoulders each day

I made them real and they were seen before me.

I used to work so hard at love

I would try

I’d say things I didn’t want to say
But it felt right
I’d look at this man a type of way
And expect him to look back

I would walk on coals
He was making a mad woman out of me
Just so I could take it

Be strong
Stop being so maladaptive I’d say

I was exhausting my truth into something less than
Meaning itself
This other version of desperation
A high I could not refuse

I was amused
I was excused


I made my fortune and now it’s churning
Like the meltdown of a butter stick emerging out of its cache
The cacophony of life enraptured in its cocoon

Feeling through the infield of unfiltered rays
A new way has come to me

Forever growing.
Metamorphosed.
In gratitude.

Writing poetry has allowed me to let those parts of me (the parts behind the mask)
live somewhere during challenging times.

That is why I have placed them on the page; to be able to move towards them like a wave and flow into something deeper and greater and more powerful:
Shifting these stories of imagery and metaphor as they are and weaving them as a symbol of creating my life.

I see movement in the stillness and my learning to tolerate and move beyond it.
To grow with it to higher places of expectation of myself. And just knowing that enables me to feel better.
I hope it does for you as well.
You are loved and appreciated.



A Butterfly Unmasked:

Our bodies are not blank figures:
We are a composite of creation
Of invisible form
A container of
Thought
of body
in a jar
Of human Spirit
Taking down the mask
Each day
I invite you into my stories of poems.

With Love and Healing,
LannaEvolved

Freedom may not be what you think.
It is about loving you.

Clarity erases all doubt, for it is not only what we believe, but how we assume ourselves to live within the feeling of our conviction that means everything towards finding it. We can easily reverse the sides.

The future *******
Of this learning
makes me sane in knowing
That I will survive until I die

A journey that keeps progress in the sphere of confidence

I am finding out the secret
I dig deeper


Use it’s presence
Evolving over discernment
Finding time doesn't exist

It is the mind
That breaks the chains
Of misconceptions

Peaceful living
Makes no mistake
And sees no visage as clear as the captive’s bed
where he is crept up
Confused
at how he came
to the realization

That this cannot be life when the next task
leads
you to insanity
The break comes when you're focused on anything but the spiral

So I can save myself
From the “disorder”
as they call it

Life is a sacrifice
It is not the imprisonment for what we do not choose

We are not to be fearful of freedom
But in love with the entities, the opportunity, the open doors
To that unique human being
Who enters it
Because we are.

To be a supernatural being is equal to the ultimate of God’s love.

Body
The words we call things

What we say defines so much of who we
Claim

99% form
1% human
Listening and reading an outside reality
Observing block by block

Taking it one day at a time

Love is free. Love is flow.
It unravels the chains that no longer bind us to our past experiences.
For it is just us now.
And we are: immense.
I love you.

Be Joy. Be Tranquility. Be Presence. Be Equanimity. Be Focus.
Be Investigation. Be all that you inherently can be
Because you have that power

Art and love are the same
It's the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

It's all about the journey of learning.
You can only give in order to reap.
This is your only victory
A continuous journey

For me, it's about creating a legacy from the lessons of every day moments, from the years of experiences and desired shifts made from within myself; and enjoying the all of who I am and what I am receiving through those difficult, yet needed experiences to allow me to become the woman and the person I am today
They were well-needed

Gratitude doesn't just come and go.
When it is sustained it can remain steady in its truth.

You look happy they said..
There was a time my eyes didn’t
I had a focused mind, but an unheard heart

Now I get to glean in
Get to know myself
Share the deepest parts
With you  

Sitting on clouds
Made of
Gemstones
That soothe our
Precious spirits
Melting into one
Being
Togetherness

Serving your internal readiness is
true power.

A whole year later
It was a Fruitful journey
Unintentional, but it happened
I can’t say I knew
There is nothing to know
The lemon tree knows how to sway its branches
As an Aloe leaf drips its milk and bends in
Art a Healing ink for itself to be made alive

Outside the window
We see
But a feeling
That we share
in a single word
Connection

Rebirth
Delicate flower
withered and dying
in sweltering heat
of a merciless sun.
Tangled vines crush
bruising and bleeding
while roots of this flower
search for the meaning.

Suddenly rebirth!
a butterfly beauty
glorious colors
of rainbows delight.
Wings now unfurled
heavenward reaching
free now to fly
into infinite light

I never questioned you and the crazy things you have done because I accept you as you are.

That’s love. That’s connection.
That’s also trust and belief in yourself to become what you were not yet.

I would rather see you differently then talk about the past, as it has no bearing on now.

It made you (name) and it could never break you down.

If anything it has propelled you (name) forward to become everything you are today and what you will continue to become tomorrow.

Instead of spending time wishing people back, spend time healing your wounds. When you lose yourself in the process of healing, you find that everything starts coming together and you become more self confident and self- aware.

Take gems
of fortitude
and create a string
of wisdom

I would like to see past the parts of shatter
How two humans can thought to be
made and not made
For the other
The disturbing disconnect
Created in a spin of unique relational difference

When suppression comes with mixed emotions
Opportunities take their time
Outside the ether
Like glowing stars
They don’t glitter for everyone
They haven’t been offered yet

I met you in a world apart.
When you couldn’t reach me
I’ve been treated so long
As if I was becoming insufferable

Fine winding tendrils that once cradled the heart
They say that promises sweeten the growth
But I don’t need this
I don’t need this

I need the sweetness, the cherish, the kiss goodnight, the beacon light, the distance lost, the softness, the weakness
A sweet victory scene
Love of my life

Oh I need this..

I’m a slow dying flower
Frost biting hour
Slowly becoming untouchable

Do you remember the way
You missed me before
Your face spoke like promises
whispered like prayers

You’d always tell me there
Would be better days
Can’t bite the words
Just hold your breath
Find your worth
And find yourself
In all the madness

Patience is its own form of insanity
But we will get through it..

What was once the dark hours of my being...


I had these thoughts
Without words to go with them

My mind deepened
Into cylindrical vases
Colorless dye

There I could mourn like old messages
To a friend who no longer knows my essence
Nor measures up
to keep it holy

Not knowing what to do with all the
moments
I've missed them

Reacting to what was
Least imperative

In virtue or in fate

Future moments unwind in my mind
Like clockwork moving
In clockwork speed  
Spinning time
Fortune cries

Just to get rid of it all
To please the psyche of my soul
When words aren’t enough
I am felt

Wholly
When the knowing comes to know
That haunts the darkness of those years
ago

As it creeps up
onto shoulders
Landing on its victory  


Opening up
to new living

Immense and soothing

Breathes in timeless pools of
emptiness
Creation peaks
and so I am.

At the essence, someone can only lead their life according to how they wish to lead.
We all must go through the experiences that entertain our individual and distinct paths.
If we as human beings  choose certain behaviors we establish certain patterns that cause us to live in certain circumstances, adapt to various habits that pave the way for how we will end up living out  daily tasks in life.
The successful completion of these tasks attribute to where we go, if we lead, how we lead, if we stay stuck in where we are, and whether what we aim for persists and comes to life  externalizing itself in the outer world.
Now, if we are talking about the ways in which we lead our lives, the individual personality of the person becomes significant towards making that kind of recommendation.
If for example, one had to overcome more barriers and difficult obstacles due to risk factors outside of their control ie. being born into poverty, system involved, parentless home, drug and alcohol abuse, violence and other harmful or traumatizing events taking place daily, etc such barriers will certainly present limitations to the person, but over time with the proper help, steady support network, and mentorship to guide them through those challenges, they can change their patterns and cognitive beliefs and ultimately adapt to new behaviors that change the way they lead their lives (living the day to day among and together with others).
With this in mind, one should aim for the best they can hope for according to their individual and unique stories, the stories which make up the core of their lives.
One can and should aim for according to their new and/or changed experiences, realistically what they can handle, but I also personally and professionally as a therapist recommend that one strive to aim for what makes them happiest in terms of what the highest renowned spiritual thought leaders called the “ideal state of mind”, holding to their vision, or definite chief aim.
What one views as the best for them or what they see as the best with regards to their values, qualities, and level of self-respect and what they believe themselves to be worthy of is the goal or should be for anyone interested in pursuing the greatest quality of living possible for who they are and who they individually wish and see themselves to be. 😊
I do hope this helps or at least provides more insight on this topic.

In Me

I build the rest of the Revolution on a precipice of uniqueness
my purity doesn't exist
neither does yours

But I am still wholly yours
as much as I can be

I shall be more
These are days of the age

And no feeling does break what will not pour
It is held in my print
Written on my palms
I am unmoored

Heart bearing evolutionary wisdom
in every moment
Like a mirror
of the Queen
of Sheba
performing beauty infinity
Infinitely

it remains like a figure on an icebox
shadows around my face
insides squirming
And it feels so good


I just want to dance with you
down an avenue
when my smile feels you close
That’s when I knew.
That’s when we begin.