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Of you
Of your voice
Of your lies
Of your fake smile
Of your fake love
And when I see you with her
After you called to say your flight was late
I know I’m tired
Of my love for you
 Jun 2022 Chuck Kean
She Writes
when my drugs begin to fail
and self-inflicted thoughts prevail

I run to the shower
where in peace I can cower

turn on the water, scalding hot
focus on  pain instead of thought

I used to burn myself, but I became more shrewd
water doesn't make a mark, no scars accrued

until I can breathe I will run the water
turning it up hotter and hotter

I emerge as if I am anew
and not a soul has a clue

because you cant see tears when they fall in the shower
and at least I managed to live for another hour
a quick fix. When I needed a hug
you came on thick. Thick as a wool blanket
on a cold dark night. Shiny as the
armor on a Medieval knight.

You were my high
rocket in space. “Beam me up
Scotty” and we’re outta this
place. You were not subtle. I crashed
on the take-off like the Challenger Shuttle.

You were my hangover
the morning after. My head blown up
like a red balloon squeezed in the
rafters. My pieces were strewn from
popping. I laid marooned like troopers
dropping from the sky. The price of the high!
The fierce knot within
is a ball of black strands
with tentacles
reaching out in every direction
threatening.
I know I need to face this cowardly menace
or it will keep growing
into a yawning void.
I hear Lucifer knocking at my door
his insistent thumping says he’s annoyed
because he knows
I am buoyed
I am ****** away from the black hole
into this bright river’s flow.
I am again facing anxiety. I know why this darkness threatens. My closest friend, only four or five months younger than I, again has cancer in another part of his body, one of his doctors mentioning hospice. It has thrown him and me for a loop. No, I don’t have cancer that I know of, but I am closer to death than I have ever been. I guess we can all say that. But here I am in the same river with him, sometimes buoyed but sometimes threatened to be taken down by the undertow. Writing is a facet of the diamond of my salvation. And this whole situation has brought home how we are all part of the same Reality in a Universe full of darkness and stars.
 Jun 2022 Chuck Kean
Eloisa
Buoyant
 Jun 2022 Chuck Kean
Eloisa
She did not let the shadows win.
She remembered who she was
and wore the vibrant stars at night.
She gave her heart consent to heal and held hope within her hands.
 Jun 2022 Chuck Kean
Khoisan
Kin of my flesh
and blood of my bones
you are not alone.
Stone-cold
lonely roads  
burdens the soul,
remember
what is said
of the heart,
you will find it
waiting for you
here at home.
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