The road you take - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - every day - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - never - - - - - seems to - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - end - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  but I remain - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - still - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -caught in a - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  jam and going - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - nowhere - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - All roads lead- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - somewhere- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -The destination only- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ours to - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -decide . . . .  .  .  .   .    .   .

Sometimes
I sit here and think
wouldn't it just be good
to not have to go through
yet another day
feeling the same?
Not to feel
empty inside anymore?
Not to know
what the future hasn't got to offer?
Encased within
these magnolia walls so bleak
with nothing to say
unless I say it
to myself
no-one to share the hours with
to close my eyes
and never see them again
would be a blessing

This, this, just ******* this
whatever the **** this is
In my head
Its running round in circles
Leading me a merry dance
stamping all over me
Cutting slices to my core
and i can't defend myself from the attacks
because there's nothing physical to push away
its noxious and suffocating
and maybe its just better if I let it take me down
but it surrounds and smothers me just the same
why can't I fight it
I'm so tired and ashamed that its stronger than me
whatever this headfuck is
a grown woman
I should be strong
not right now I'm not
but maybe tomorrow
but I know I'll get headfucked again at some point
and I'll be as defenseless as I always am
******* headfuck

Maybe I get a bit too emotional
about this, about us, our situation
that I want way too much, more than you can give
and it'll drive you away
I know its not easy for you
You have a complicated life
a life where you have made promises
and those people expect a lot from you
I won't be one of those people, demand so much of you
and you've made no promises to me
There is a lot in life I know I can't have
through no fault of my own
it's just how life works for some and
its always been that way for me
But I want you, God how much I want you
That I do know, and I'll fight for what I believe in
on those very rare occasions when
I really believe in something
What we have is more than good
and I want us to keep it, make it stronger
But the unknown is scary
Of what could be, or might not be
we both understand this
Because this could just be a stupid ****** daydream
that never comes true
All thoughts and feelings wasted and hearts broken
I don't want that, not for us
But someone will get their heart broken
This will be certain
If its me then I'll accept that decision
and I'll know at least we made each other happy
in the short time we spent together
and the love we made will be remembered
always