I sat by the window and gazed out
at the rain falling down
in torrents and sheets.
The night was black as ink, save the stars;
barely visible behind thick storm clouds,
pinpricks of silver in the ebony scape,
as the rain continued to fall.

I thought of you, of the deliberation in your face
etched into every feature a painful, wavering resolve.
The decision before you:
two fates, the ending, or the prolonging of the time before the terminal predetermined.

I grieved as I remembered the pain in your eyes.
I know you too well. I have seen too much of you
for you to hide this from me. I broke
-a silent cry of realization, collapsing my furrowed brow into a contorted countenance
as I realized that you were gone
not just for now, but for good.

And so there I sat that night,
after I removed the gold chain you rested around my neck
after I scrubbed away the makeup
after I traded my lipsticked smile for a mourning countenance
-I sat, alone in the dark, and gazed out the window into the rain.
I wondered where things had gone wrong.

And so, May showers
drove away April's flowers.
It was all I could do to cry quietly,
face soaked with the saline of sadness
that dripped now on my chest.

Now, I sit again at the window
and the same song plays that had consoled me before
'you'll feel better when you wake up'
And I did.
The sadness stayed safely at the bay
while I tried to channel it again
But this time it wasn't the same.
Though I duplicated the mood down to the clothes I wore,
the heartache was no longer fresh
and my face remained dry.

Sure, I felt sad. But it was not from you.
It was not from a heartbreak or a brokenness.
It was inorganic sadness, brought on by my own need for closure,
the thirst for a goodbye that burned my throat in agony and sorrow
that my parched lips would never find.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The darkness, oh, the darkness.
The velvety feel of the darkness,
The sinister songs of heavy and crackling silence,
-that bathe in the darkness.
Enwrapping me in a loving embrace,
The darkness
Stealing my sleep, plaguing me with memories,
The darkness
Keeper of my secrets and sorrows,
Pulling me in,
Wiping my tears,
The darkness.
Oh, the darkness.
Mon chéri,
The darkness.
Mi amor,
The darkness.
My muse, my friend, my companion.
The darkness,
Oh, the darkness.

दुआ है उस खुदा से दुनिया की हर ख़ुशी मिले आपको,
सबका प्यार मिले, होठों पे खूबसूरत हँसी मिले आपको,
गर हो कोई गम तो वो भी हसीं लम्हात बन जाये,
आफ़ताब की तरह चमक,जन्नत-ए-रौशनी मिले आपको,

मुक्कमल सारे ख़्वाब हो ,तोहफा नायाब मिले आपको,
दुआएँ सबकी हो साथ आपके,सफलता बेहिसाब मिले आपको,
इस जन्मदिवस पे ज़न्नत से बारिश हो खूबसूरत फूलों की
खुदा खुद दस्तक दे घर आपके,मोहब्बत-ए-शबाब मिले आपको,

काँटो का सिला खत्म हो,फूलों से सजी जमीं मिले आपको,
सपरिवार मुस्कुराता रहे आपका,ज़िन्दगी की हर खुशी मिले आपको,
हर बुरी नज़र से महफूज़ रखे खुदा आपको,
जो पल आपको खूबसूरत अहसास दे खुदा करें वो पल हसीं मिले आपको........

.......Wish U a Very Happiest B'Day My Dear.....

Jabse dekha hai tumhe
Dil bekarar hai
Sayad yeh waqt hai kehne ka
Hah mujhe tumse pyaar hai