ok okay

ok okay Mar 2020

'Are you okay?'

I am tired of falling
I stumble through time
Lose connections with others
And watch days go by
I am waiting for someone
When will they arrive

Ask me again?

I am fine

#time #life

ok okay Mar 2020

Watching the Door

Watch the door
Maybe something will come in
I am not sure what yet
My heart is palpitating
My mind is falling apart
I want to scream
But my parents might wake up
I want to cry
But im scared that if the tears block my view
Something could get me
I'm losing it
Everyday feels the same
This loneliness is terrifying
I have never been so scared of the darkness
I used to embrace it
But now it scares me
The silence is too much to bare
What if I lose my mind when the music stops
I don't want to dream
They **** with me
What if I wake up and no ones there
And they only appear to hurt me
I am truly scared
It makes it hard to breathe
I feel tired
But erratic
I wish everything could go away when I wanted
These thoughts I have
They are ruining everything
It makes it so hard to do anything
I feel dead
And trapped
Yet lost all at once
I cant handle this **** much longer
Everything is a mess
Label me depressed
Label me anxious
It means nothing to me
I am just trying my best
But I cant do this much longer
And I know I have said that before
But this time it feels real
I think my opportunities are nearly gone

ok okay Mar 2020

Lost

Somewhere down a river
Past the land that no one walks
Lies nothing but a mossy meadow
And a man who's clearly lost
Silence puts his mind at ease
Flowers make him grow a smile
Peaceful
But scary
This place makes him wary
Will this man ever find his way out?

Maybe it wasn't because of its location. Maybe it's all in his head. Lost in his mind and lonely in a crowd.

#lost #beauty #scary #happy

ok okay Mar 2020

It Rains Sometimes

It rains sometimes
So everyone huddles inside
But that is when I love to be outside
Because it is only me and the touch of an old friend
I can SCREAM
I can cry...
And just like rain
The tears dry
But all good things must come to an end
Out comes the sun
Out comes the smiles
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh **** me

ok okay Mar 2020

Buried in the Subconscious

These words don't always come
Sometimes they don't even appear
But they are there
Buried in the subconscious
Color is easy to write about

'Roses are pretty
And violets are blue
The stars look lovely too'

But what is fading is ignored
Death is sad
And wilted roses turn grey
Soon enough they will be thrown away
Just like everything else
We will all be discarded
These words
These thoughts
Which are buried so deep
Will be taken to our grave

#words #subconscious #death #life #thoughts

ok okay Feb 2020

Maybe Its Time

It's sad to think about
The times we had
Good and bad
The happiest hurt the worst
Because I know that they have to move on
Its sad because I know that they haven't
And I haven't either
It's sad
Its 3:47 am and my only light is a monitor
It illuminates the hair that meets my eyes
I stop to think sometimes
Maybe I should sleep
But I swear this light speaks to me
It's sad
These thoughts don't get any easier
I thought it was just a phase
But apparently that's not how the brain works
It's sad
Every time I feel positive
I always see the other side
Because I can never be too happy
Or I would have too far to fall
It's sad
Life
Death
Everything in between
Maybe its time to dream

#time #life #death #change #light #sad

ok okay Feb 2020

Leaf

Leaves will fall inevitably
You might as well say hi to them before you have fallen too

blah blah blah people man, i aint good with them.

#leaf #leaves #inevitable #life