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Kelsey Dec 2023
When I was a girl, my mother used to tell me I had shooting stars running through my veins.

That any jolt in my chest or pain down my body was just a star carrying a large, important wish.

It didnt make sense to me, though.

How could a wish be painful?

But I trusted her.

She was my mother after all.

When I was afraid of the dark and looked for comfort,
She would say that I was an eternal light
and that the dark feared me more than I could ever fear it.

And whenever I would ask for something other than health and happiness,
She would instruct me to go outside and look at the night sky.

The vast sea of blackness that held my future, everyone I would ever love, and prosperity in turn for faithful actions.

I was abundant enough, she would say.

Those nights were similar to the one I will have tonight.

I can feel it.
Possibly the beginning of a new novel of mine.
Kelsey Oct 2023
Im deep in the throws of finding myself
Caught in the undertow
Tumbling under the surface
After a wave pushes me down
I cant see what direction is up
And what is down
Theres pressure from all sides
Pushing and pulling
Like children in masks
Waiting for you to choose them
Who am I without a clear path?
Who was I born to be?
Does it even matter?
Thoughts jumble and
Twist into knots
Its impossible to untangle
The truth
But they say the truth will set you free
Am I forever to be
A prisoner of my own indecision?
Of my own lack of insight
Into who i am?
Because it is scary,
Getting lost in the current,
And when I can finally come up for air
I hope it tastes sweeter
Than I remember
Kelsey Aug 2023
Before we die...
I want to know
That each moment meant something.
That our days weren't spent
Worrying about how clean the house was
Or how much money we needed
To buy a home, nice car or fancy clothes.
I want to know
That each day we gave it our all
Not to our jobs or reputations...
But to learning and laughing
With one another.
To experience a joy
That only exists when we do life together.
I want to know
That every second
We spent together
We experienced the true meaning of life..
And knew it.
For every blink, smile and breath,
We lived our lives truly, authentically
And the way it's always meant to be lived
With love.
A love that transcends the physical world
And follows us through infinite lifetimes.
Because life can't be lived without love.
And love is not love
Without you.
Kelsey Jun 2023
I was given a timeline
An unspoken timeline
A "if you dont do this, then..."
Timeline

You said I'm probably
Fine
That it doesnt make sense,
Im only 29

Now I cant help but think
Its a sign, its a sign
Just make the right choices
And the best will align

So whenever I wake up
With the sun and its shine
I know I can do it
Because its not my time
Kelsey Mar 2023
Im not made of diamond or marble or gold
Im fixed together by cracks and bumps and mold
I collapse like a house of cards
Fall like dominoes in the shapes of stars
Im as quiet as a drop of rain
Elephant in the room
White blouse with a ketchup stain
My mind is immersive
Projecting shadows on walls
Singing lies to misinterpret
We're sewn together with purpose
Of which is lost amongst the stars
So search the night sky
To discover who you are
Kelsey Jan 2023
This year
Im going to get angry
To the point of
Silence.

This year
Im going to
Punish
My mind
My body
To get the results.

This year
Will be when
I
Give myself the opportunities
I deserve.

This year
I am going to
Disappear.

Because
This year
Is THE year.

The year
Where I.
Am.
The.
Best.
Kelsey Jan 2023
My mind was made of moonlight and fresh strawberries
Of a sunset kissing the perfect G chord
The interweavings of dreams and earth
A push and pull kind of mentality
Suspended in air
Until the last breath falls
My words are glass,
Sleek and breakable but
Strong against the wind
I dont forget a face
Or a mental illness
My songs are a life of their own
My stories, a world incongruous with reality
I've been sewn together with slivers of ocean foam
I've been given eyes of the first winter breeze
I am incomplete
I hold the world in a box buried in my chest
Beating away
Away
Away
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