what breaks my heart the most
Is that
The promises you made to me
Are now forgotten and
You are fulfilling with
Another

At the time I was broken
I wanted to feel whole
So I let him touch me even though
I said no

When I look at old pictures
of us
i use to feel
everything
now
I feel
nothing
...

My heart beats for me now
Woo
That’s such a relief
I also derseve to be happy
And finally Be
Complete

I shared three of my “first times” with you
The first time I fell in love
Honestly I didn’t even realize I was falling
But some how it was okay as along as I was with you I felt complete
The first time I ever slowed dance
We were both so very nervous
Man I was so scared
You couldn’t tell because my face was so calm but inside I was screaming
Lastly the first time my heart broke
You shattered it you honestly did
You probably didn’t mean to
But the pain I felt after you left
Became so unbearable some nights
I could barely hold on
....those are my first times with you

From my heart I miss you.
It makes me feel Stupid to still
Love you.
It kills me inside everyday
Knowing you don’t love me.
It’s been months and I’m still not
Over you.
I’m getting there for sure.
But apart of me will still run into your
Arms if you ever called my name.
Sadly, I never cross your mind.

I have returned
not for good reason
I am heartbroken once again
But this time is different
Because this broke my being
My soul
My life
Not just my heart

Beautiful Soul
Drowning
You will breathe again.
Caring Being
Dying
You will be revived.
Selfless Heart
Blinded
You will see again.
Strong Spirit
Wounded Wings
Will fly again.

i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
about you
the sad truth
is
i really do

Look
I am simple person
Just do one thing
Look
Look at me
As a person
That is derserving
Of love
Of your time
That you are not
Willing to give
Look
I am worthy
Of knowing you
Of getting to see
The real you
Look
At how much I want you
Look
At how my eyes are only
Towards you
Looking
Is what I should
Be doing
Because while your not
Looking at me
I am realizing on how
You don’t deserve my
Look

My grandmother always told me love is not supposed to hurt
But why loving you kills me everytime
I breathe
Especially when I see you smiling but it’s not because of me
It’s because of her....someone I’ll never be

It’s so funny how I finally let go of the hurt
He caused me
Someone new came he showed me things
That I never knew I would enjoy
Now I’m experience a new hurt
That he have giving me

To the world
I am a blank
Canvas
But just turn off
The lights
And see how much I
Glow

Don’t cry in front of me
Because I’ll break down

It’s crazy how
I’m your memory
but you’re my dream
I keep reliving

I took my time building this house called
Love
It took me seven months to decide who I wanted to live in it
They always said never go looking for love and I never did
Then you appeared out of the blue
Just honestly being you
You were tall almost towering me
You were gorgeous everyone had to look twice
You were funny always making me laugh about the simplest things
And You had that smile....such a smile that would make my heart do flips and dances I never knew
And at that moment I chose you

I hate how I’m
feeling this is not me...
But I’m really asking myself
Why did I ever think
you’ll be interested in me
What made me think
such a ridiculous thing
I’m really asking
WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH
me??!

Why do I continue to be
Stupid
For you?
I honestly thought something was wrong
Look at me again...
Falling for someone
Who
won’t catch me

I imagined the pain I will feel
if I saw y’all together
I imagined it being like needles
punching my heart
Like my heart being pulled
into pieces
Well I saw you two together
for the first time
I didn’t expect to feel this way
but I was  genuinely happy
for you
Your smile was bigger than I ever seen
even with me
In reality my heart was warmed
Not shattered

I hope you find true
Happiness
You need it
I can see your
Pain
I hope someone
Heals it one
Day

I don’t know if people understand
But friends I once had
I loved you
I wanted you to prosper
And be happy
But why didn’t you want that
For me?

I wish she wouldnt have broken you
You honestly didn’t derserve it
You would have loved her
Like I would have loved you

I want to be loved
Just not by
You.

Slowing healing...

God is everything.

That weight
That unbearing weight full of
Doubt,Hatred,Deppression,& Anxiety
Has been lifted
& I have been gifted
To be released
Of pain I didn’t
Deserve