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 Jan 2018 Hidden Glade
Arionna
You make love taste rotten, like something that has been sitting out on the sidewalk underneath the afternoon sun. People like you only know how to love yourself and take more than you give. People like you love storms, ravaging the homes others have constructed, leaving nothing behind. You turn something wonderful into something I wish I never had. To you, love must mean Winning, must mean always being right, must mean crushing the person that I am just so you can build your ego a little higher. To you, I must look like a fight, a competitor, a challenge to defeat. You use your words and threats to make me forget that I am a vital part of the relationship, your kisses fall like duct tape on my lips, you don't let me be anything but yours. Yours to love, hurt, twist, break, yours to keep, own, manipulate. I know it is wrong to love someone like you. But that is why things like this are hard- you fall in love with oceans before you realize how easy it is for them to drown you, you fall in love with people before you see how even seemingly best of them can abuse you.
 Dec 2017 Hidden Glade
Lizzie
Help
 Dec 2017 Hidden Glade
Lizzie
You silence my brains loud screaming and violent thrashing,
With a touch... How can you mean this much?
My heart, thumps rapidly in your presence;
Why can't I tell you...
My words of confession get trapped with aggression as my lungs fight the will to breath...
You take my hand and everything stops... As time moves on...
Can you feel my hand as it shakes in yours?
My pleas for help to save me from myself?
Or... Do you just see a carefree girl smiling with glee?
Please explain why you mean so much to me....
Feelings are new, I don't understand.
 Dec 2017 Hidden Glade
Lizzie
Wondering...
I wonder if you're ignoring me...
Did I do something wrong?
Wondering...
Do you actually like me, the real me?
Did I say something wrong?
Wondering...
What if's cloud my mind...
What if it wasn't me you where into...
What if I read your messages wrong? Got the wrong memo?
What if I'm not good enough, to many problems, odd...
What if you never liked me to begin with?
What if... What if... What if...
What if I'm wrong?
 Dec 2017 Hidden Glade
Lizzie
I told you I wanted to die...
You immediately said no...
Didn't ask why... Just a no...
Why so direct, no hesitation?
You surely don't actually like me... Like I like you...
Maybe I've been living in an illusion...
I'm getting anxious...
I'm crumbling, I don't think you've noticed,
I'm distancing myself again, pushing away...
I'm getting bad again, I don't know what is worse...
You ignoring me, or me pushing you away (everyone away)...
I'm a wreck, a lost cause, maybe you should give up on me...
I would if I where you... I'm not worth it... Trust me... Please?
 Dec 2017 Hidden Glade
Lizzie
Livid... Boiling inside...
I wan to scream, yell, bring myself pain...
I am i so stupid.... why'd I do that?
I was consumed by him
  it felt like inhaling smoke
    the more I tried to breathe
the more I just breathe him in
  for my love was like fire
    it consumed everything it touched
but he was the one who took my
  match
    and smothered out its flame
so now I'm left to only inhale smoke
  I am a girl with smoke filled lungs
    and a dying ember for a heart
The scary part about those nights where the voices get too loud is the screaming to yourself in the hope that the demons leave. They scream at me “WHAT’S YOUR PURPOSE” and that I am worthless, but scarier still is when you start to believe them.
052716

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