Oh to taste your love.
Oh to feel your warmth.

My bones break as I struggle to carry a persistent weight.
Pounds on my back, increase with each breath, every step I take.
I haven’t tried to bury my past and I fear its too late
I fear its going to last.
Can I be lifted to heaven?
Is it me or the baggage Im burying?
The bride of Christ but is it me or the pain you’re marrying?
Do you love me now? How could you?
Ive been mourning for years, no use pushing down tears.
The earth still turns, but Im still here.

I don’t look different, i just look at you differently

i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel

written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart
glow

letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you

i wrote you
a letter every day.

i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me
bloom.

eventually
i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.

creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.

i began to send
letters
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears

pouring
from my eyes

as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.

my last letter
addressed to you
contained
no words

but was blank.
because
i had none that

could reach
as far

and deep

into the cracks
of my
heart

to describe
just
what you

had left
of me.

just in case
you’re in a dark place
and can’t seem
to find a light switch
or matches even
I want you to know
you are loved
maybe not by yourself
yet
but you are
even though it sounds
like a fairytale for now
at some point
you’ll find the light switch
or the matches
and you’ll be able to see
that the fairytale
came true
and you’re the one
that made it happen