I can’t let go of your beautiful hand
Even though, I’m hurting inside
Can’t shake this feeling I have
Long sleepless nights
Up just thinking
“Why can’t I just let it go and be free?”
Putting a smile on my face is hard
Every day,just thinking about let go
Why am I so afraid?
I feel like if I let go
My life would be in a hole
A deep black hole
Knowing I can’t get out of
Seeing me in the mirror
Saying “who is this?”
I tried and tried to let go
But, I guess it will be here.
Sitting in a dark room in my mind
One day, I’ll let it go.
So you want to make choices for me
Oh no sweetie I am my own person
Just know one day I ain’t going to be like that
I’m so tired of you telling me to do this or do that
I can stand on my own two feet
I don’t need you
People say around us
Oh you gave me better life
No you gave me choice
If my life was better
Why do I feel like i was went I was in high school ?
Why do I feel like you left this black hole in my heart ?
You know what
You did give me something
An eye opener of how bad choices make you a strong person
So thank you for all the tears
Thank you for hurting my few times
Thank you for letting us down
Just thank you
Because future me is going to be the best
Every day I wake up
I look at the ceiling
My soul goes back to sleep
Every moment I get up
My body is filled with sadness
Hopefull wishes that don’t exist
Black cloud that don’t belong here
Trying to perfect for the wrong people
Saying to myself every day “I’m not myself.”
Waking up to a smile on my face
But in reality, I really want to cry
I don’t want you to understand
Only I can determine that
Dark black hole
I keep falling in and I can’t get out
Please god help me
The more you say
The more I cry inside
I feel trapped
Alone & afraid to get out
Four walls are too close
Eyes getting really low
My hands are numb
So did my feet
It’s getting cold
I didnt know it was my time
My tears are turning into ice drops
I miss home
I miss home so much
I don’t feel good Being here
My heart is comfortable
Not my brain
I can’t sleep at night
Up all night
Can’t think straight
I miss home
Where I feel more comfortable
Crying on the inside
Smiling on the outside
Nobody will understand
Why I miss home
Heart broken into pieces
All over my chest
Been feeling like this for two years
Trying to put the pieces back
Each piece represents each tear I shed for you
Trying to fix me
I wonder why I cant fix my broken heart
Sometimes I asks "God,why can't I heal from all the pain."
My love for you is lost
I try and try to get over you
But,I can't .
Your visual face is still in my vision.
Trying to take all the pain & hurt away.
You hurt me physically and emotionally.
I blame you for my broken heart
I blame you for treating me cold
I blame you for all my sadness.
I blame you for how I feel.
You made me lose love again
Hopefully, one day, I find it again.
— The End —