I live my uncertainties in life
Following invisible cues
Different signals in different hues
A twinge here and there
And uneasiness blooms and heals
When I follow the steps
That leads me back to you.

if i fall in love with you
know that it won't be like the love you see on tv screens
know that my love is subtle
my love is calm, like the ocean,
my love is not backs pressing against walls
my love is not bruise-like marks on collarbones
my love is the brushing of fingertips
my love is the rushing of blood onto shy cheeks

know that when i fall in love with you
my love will not be explicit
i will not tell you i love you
i will let the shy glaces
and the interlacing of our hands speak for me

know that when i love you
you will know

Winter peeks
shyly
into early November,
d  o  t  t  i  n  g
the grass with white flakes-
but,
by midday,
she retreats from
all the
attention.

I always inevitably repeat the avoidable
While forever evade the inevitable.

some memories clamour to be heard
and the pain within them a present experience

to heal that pain can take a lot of visiting
inch by inch scars gently bind the wound.

i imagine her
beautiful and weary
damaged in the ways
that allow her
to sink down into my soft places
and fill the puzzle-piece gap
someone else left her with.
i imagine her
lovely and flawed
striking a match in my chest
and starting a flame in my belly
a forest fire of disaster
and absolute perfection.
i imagine her
soft and destructive
disassembling me at her worst
caressing me at her best
i imagine her
lonely and strong
a being built from
i-don’t-give-a-damns
and let-me-help-yous
i imagine her
there
quiet and beaming
imagining what i might be like.
i imagine her
thinking i’m the beautiful mess
that i think her to be
i imagine us both being wrong.
i imagine that
being the best part
about it.