I'm shopping for a gun
Online, cause everything's that
Easy, nowadays.
Everything but
Life, itself.
See, cause I've searched for solutions
For so long, and this
Is where it all leads.
To this website that buys, trades and
Sells guns.
A shotgun,
Is what I'm looking for.
It doesn't really matter what kind-
Not that I know what to look for anyway.
It only needs to fire one shot.
Doesn't really matter how expensive-
I won't be needing money after this.
My final purchase, you could say.
So I'm shopping for a gun-
A shotgun, of any kind
Just to get the job done.
Cause it's the only solution.
I know, I've searched.
It lead me here. It all lead me here.
And it will lead me home.
I'll end up in the mountains-
Far away from my mother,
So she never has to find me.
It's not her fault.
I'll give my body back to the earth,
The animals, the plantlife consuming me-
And my soul will, finally,
Know peace.

In the silence of my study room,
I swear,
I could hear my future dying.

I can picture
the colour of my mother's amber eyes
lighting up in a fire
bright enough to burn alight the dark room of my mind.

The resounding echo of
my father's pride shattering
becomes the soundtrack of my
days; I swear I could not have known
that silence could be so devastating.

Well I swear I tried to swim
across my own disappointing sea;
Well I swear the tide
swallows me.

When the sky clears
and I see that first ray of light
there is hope.

Things will be better today
I can be all right.

Standing barefoot in the bitter wind
and being happy
because the sky is blue

I know could be an odd thing to do

but after so many days of darkness
the sun is a welcome sight.
The trees are restless
The cold winds blow away the night.

Anything can happen on a day like today,
a day when I actually feel okay