To bring us together,
But that has to stop.
We can't wait
Until people have died
To unite
Please, join me
If you find a poem
Saying the person will commit suicide,
Try and help
For Andy
(Even though he's not dead)

Andy, Andy,
Our playlist of souls.
Why'd you have to go?
All playlists run out
But yours should go on
It should have been longer
Now it only echos in our hearts
The pleas,
Your cries that we never took seriously
Because we couldn't believe them
No
I'm Crying in math
Hyperventilating
No
The only thought in my mind
No
Not Andy
He had his rough edges
But I loved him
He was like my brother
He was a friend
I would've listened
I was there for him
I'd have help if he asked
If only we could go back,
Even one song,
I'd turn it around
He didn't need to die
Andy, please,
Rest in peace
We All Love You
You are in our hearts<3

You make me glad
I use ink, not blood
To write with,
Other days
You make me wish
I used razor blades,
Not fountian pens.

How I'd use what they taught me,
Tally marks, straight lines,
They never have let me go through
They wouldn't have taught me it
one two three four slash

Instead of on paper,
Counting cereal,
I re-learn these skills
Straight lines on my wrist,
Tally marks on my heart
one two three four *slash

Five A.M.
I wake up gasping
Crying, Shaking
nightmares

You
I was talking to you
For the first time in a while
nightmares

That wasn't so bad
But then you told me
You hated me
nightmares

No, no.
I couldn't take that
I woke up sobbing
nightmares

Five thirty A.M.
Writing this down
So maybe, I won't have more
nightmares?

Is falling in love with all the characters you write

Daniel, you are
My perfect boyfriend.
You listen well
And play guitar
You let me rant
And never ignore me
You talk to me
Before anyone else
You laugh at
My dumb jokes
You tell me my poetry
Is the best in the world
You make me feel
Beautiful
You come back to me
Even though I was the one
Who got you in trouble
And forced you to leave
You never forget
A special event
Or anniversary.
You give me
The most thoughtful gifts
You love me
And even though we're
1,608 miles apart
You fell in love
With me.

To us?
Oh wait
There was no us,
But we
Not we
I can't have you
And me on the same line
There's not we
No us
No you and me
But you have changed so much from seventh grade when you
And I  were friends
Maybe not friends
But you
And I could get along and have friendly competition and joke and play games and laugh together
And this year you hate
Me
You ignore
Me, I was sick and
You didn't even ask if
I was okay or if I needed help
You would have done that last year before you found out
I liked
you like that should change anything but it did and now
You ignore
me and turn away and won't even talk to me why what happened to
you and
I being friends what happened to the friendship I felt towards
You it just evaporated when you started ignoring
Me and hating me and now
I hate me because of
You
I can barely even smile
You make
Me hate myself and believe I'm worthless and should be kept away from everyone well
You and
I were friends I wish I could forget because something happened to the friendship that belonged to you And
I

To be depressed
And suicidal.
Crying at the littlest things
Being so upset
You'd end your life
To end your pain.
And some part of me
Knew
leave
now
I'd end my life if I stayed
I had the power
I have the means
And I just wanted it
To
stop
stop
stop
So I ran
I got out of that house
And I ran
To a friend's,
No one was home
Didn't go back
Run
Continue
On to the park
Farther
The woods
Old house
And I sat there
Sobbing
For an hour
Wondering why I didn't
Stay at home
And die
Why I was alive
If I had tried
To not be,
If I had hurt myself
And never told anyone
If I had tried
And almost done it
Almost done it
But hesitated
Why
I don't know
I wanted it to end
But I hit continue
Instead of give up
And gave myself a second chance
That goodness knows I don't deserve
I sat in the woods
And wondered
I told myself
The world would be okay
The world would be better
If I wasn't here
But I made myself stay
And I don't know why
Crying in the woods
I found thorns
Instead of razor blades
And stabbed my wrists
Stabbed my veins
Not sharp enough
But I can't go home
I'd die
So I stayed
And walked around
And I found my feet carried me home
So I went in
And
I found my blades
And I took them to the veins
But I didn't do it
I luv d
Somehow
Someway
I stopped
Myself
And I hit
Continue
For some reason
But I still wanted to
This is what it means
To be depressed
And suicidal

In a word
I would describe
The way I see you
As beautiful

In one word
I would describe
The way I see me
As ugly

But then I realized
You're in my heart
So maybe my heart
Is beautiful

If my heart is beautiful
The am I beautiful?
Maybe I can be
If you love me too.

I looked up
Smiling like crazy
And I realized that maybe
I shouldn't write this
In the middle of math

I know you all hate me
And wish I just stopped posting
And talking to you
And being around
Don't think I don't see the looks you give me
Or hear the whispers
I know you hate me
Think I'm insane
Yes, I am
Get over it
I'm a messed up kid
I cry in class
I get annoyed
I either do really well or really badly
I know I used to be the smart kid
But just because
You get a better grade than me
Doesn't mean you can shout it to the class
That you got a better grade than the smart kid
I have feelings too
I hurt too
I can be put down as easily
Maybe even easier
Than you
I'm not the best
I write
I sing
I'm smart
But you don't care
Because I'm overshadowed
And the only thing you care about
Is laughing at me
Or being better than me
Well, I get it
Quit bragging
*it hurts

I'm fine
I'm not okay at all but you don't care so I'll lie to you
I accidentally hit my wrist on something, it doesn't hurt
I didn't mean to say ow and I need some excuse
sorry
I get it I'm a freaking idiot and loser quit reminding me
whatever
It means a lot to me but I don't want you to know
go away*
I need you but I'm testing you to see if you can tell and if you care

i have an unhealthy obsession with sharp objects
I'm cutting myself
I can't wait for Tuesday
I can't wait to be alone at home so I can blast music and get out my blades
Can you please stop? It's annoying
JUST FREAKING STOP ALREADY GET AWAY I HATE YOU LEAVE
can this be over?*
Can I please just die already?

I'm sorry, okay?
I get it
You hate that I talk about Him.
I'm sorry
He's the best thing
In my whole life
He makes me smile
And laugh
And has freaking kept me alive
I'm sorry I talk about him
So much
I'm sorry it annoys you
I'm sorry I have to mention him
He's my answer
My everything
The better part of me
The only part of me I can love
Don't scorn that
Please
I'm sorry I annoy you
I'm sorry I talk about him too much
I'm sorry that I won't stop
But I'm not sorry I love him
I won't  Ever be sorry for that

Dear friend
Why didn't You
ever tell me
Anything.
I just found out
Everything
By talking to
your other friend.
You trusted them
Not me
And you have the guts to call us friends.
You tell them everything
And me?
You tell me nothing
You barely even talk to me.
This has been too long in coming
It's through.
Of course,
I'll play along
Pretend I'm your friend,
The way you do to me,
But I will tell you
Nothing
The exact thing
You told
Me

I know you don't care
But goodnight,
Even though you'll stay up for hours
Talking to her.
You don't know how I envy you
You talk to the person you love
Every day
And every night.
Have a good time talking to her.
Value it
I know you don't care
Since it's coming from me
Good night

How you've been gone
3 months
And I might have never crossed your mind
But I can talk about you
For an hour
And have told that person
Almost nothing
About You,
We,
And Us.

Today I tried To outrun
the person No one can ever leave behind
Myself

I got outside and Ran
As fast as I could
But then I stopped

I realized how pointless
My struggle was
I can't outrun myself.

However far or fast I run
I can't outrun myself
And that's the truth of life

You can't outrun yourself

They Say they'll be there
But when you need them they ****
When a thing comes up about you
They ask others about it, not you.
They never mention it to you
They leave you out
They hurt you
They mock you
They betray you

*I'm done with "Friends"

And you tell me to give that up.
You tell me he's not worth it
That he doesn't care
Well, let me ask you
If he never cared
Why'd he come back after loosing his computer because of me?
Why'd he keep doing everything to bring us together?
Why did he keep talking to me even though he'd get in trouble and he knew it?
Why'd he sneak on his xbox when his computer died?
Why'd he get up at five in the morning just to tell me he loved me?
Why'd he tell me so often how he loved me and I was the best thing in his life?
Why'd he talk to me?
If he never cared
Would he have had banners made for me?
Have never forgotten a special day?
Would he have repeatedly told me he didn't deserve me and I was the best mate ever?
Would he have said I was his world?
No.
He proved to me
Every day
He loved me
He cared more than anyone.
And you want me to give that up
Answer me this
Do you want me to die?
Because without him, I'd be a ghost
Trapped in myself.
Scared, hiding
Maybe even dead.
When you ask me to give him up
You're telling me to give up
My world
My hope
My dream
My love
My angel
My reason to live

So when you ask me to give him up,
Don't be surprised
When I say
HECK NO.

Last Visit: September 3rd
Replied to this topic July 19th

why don't you talk to me?
I give you messages, loyalty, love
You gave me a broken heart

Last Visit: September 3rd
Replied to this topic July 19th

You never post anymore
You never come online
I wait for you, still hoping

Last Visit: September 3rd
Replied to this topic July 19th

No emails, no phone calls, no posts on the forums
You make me feel abandoned
You used to make me feel loved.

Last Visit: September 3rd
Replied to this topic July 19th

They tell me to give up on you
I tell them I would die.
But what cause do I have to wait for you?

Last Visit: September 3rd
Replied to this topic July 19th

Every day, I wait for you
Staring at my screen
Because one day you'll come online

Last Visit: Now
Replied to this topic Today

I want to fade
Out of this world
Like the day
Fades into night
Slowly, calmly, peacefully
No. More. Pain.

Today
At my friend's house
And I talked to him
For the first time
In a while
And though my heart beat
Just a little bit faster
I'm almost sure
I'm over him

So far away but you could be with me now </3

Long Days
Without him
Days I dread
And want to miss

Long days
Stretch ahead
Days I fear
Days without him

Long days
Stretch behind
Days spent crying
Days without him

Long days
Fill my life.
Can't I just skip
These long days?

Another Friday.
I get up
False hope
That this one could ever
Be like that Friday

That Friday night
When he came back
And made my night
Even better
A night I will never forget

And as 7 comes
And passes by
I reload the page
A million times
While sitting there crying.

I wish he'd come back
I'm empty without him
He left me a shell
Empty, worthless,
Waiting for him to return.

Who says we can't have
A long distance love story?
Who says the miles
Will change the plot?

We're still in love
Though far apart
We still care
Despite the length

We shouldn't be in love
Shouldn't but are
So why can't we
Have a love story?

If Our love story exists
We're living it
So why can't we find
The happy ending?

What's our love story without a happy ending?

Don’t tell me being numb
hurts less than a scar.
Don’t tell me feeling nothing
hurts less than a bruise.

After a while nothing
is, but not caring
turns to more pain
than you can imagine.

The only reason not to feel
is because of pain.
I’m told to feel nothing
because words don’t hurt.

Words hurt more than anything
the names I was called
changed who I was
and still hurt now.

You may say it once
but I repeat it.
over and over
until I believe it.

It turns to reality
my whole life story
'till it’s all I see
when I think of me.

And you can say it’s me
who picks up that knife
to hurt myself
but it’s not my fault.

It’s your words
that lift that knife.
And it’s your words
that put it in my arm.

And it’s your words
that I repeat
as I search for death
in everything.

It’s your words
that make me hate me.
And it’s your words
that made me this way.

Your words
take the form of a knife.
The knife that hurts me,
The knife I now need.

And I stand here
wondering how
you could possibly
not know.

Am I really that good
at pretending I’m fine?
that the words you’re saying
aren’t cuts in my arm?

Or is it just
that you don’t care?
That I’m really a no one,
just like you said?

Because to myself
I’m just your insults.
I’m just what you call me,
a person to hate.

All I am is your cruel words.

They never realize
A single shoulder brush
Can send a girl's heart
Racing.

They don't know
A few words
Can make a girl's
Whole day

They never see
A girl's eyes light up
As the glance at her
From across the room

They never can tell
That what's to them just normal
Makes a girl's smile
Reappear

I have nothing to look forward to
I'd say December
But it won't be Christmas without you.
</3

How long, how long,
I check my watch,
and wait, feeling like,
though I'm complete,
I left my heart with you.

My heart is wrenched out,
every day,
while I'm away.
I daydream and sob,
mourning for the love I've left.

Your love, or what I think is love,
makes me want you more.
I want to see you soon,
I NEED,
Or I will lose my sense.

I cannot stay away much more,
I'd **** to see your face.
Even on my birthday,
I only have one wish:
for you to love me back.

Set a flower free
watch it float on the breeze
float, fly away,
blow to him

A flower a day
pointless routine
they don’t reach him
The never will

He won’t get my flowers
won’t know they exist
Yet I do it again
I have to have hope.

Hope that my flowers
will reach him one day
after weeks, months,
of journeying.

Set a flower free
watch it float on the breeze
float, fly away,
blow to him

Wind, blow my flower to him.

Light green sunset
shines in my window
wherever you are,
Do you see the same sun?

The stars come out
one by one
some hidden by clouds
Do you watch them too?

And then the moon
the sky-ocean’s pearl
It shines on my house
Does it shine on you?

Worlds away
we watch the same sky
it reminds me of you,
Do you think of me?

When you see the sky
in all its beauty
the one thing we share,
Do you think of me?

Stay with me
One more day
One more night
Even one more post

Talk to me
One more time
It's not allowed
But when did that stop you?

Say to me
Tell me you love me
Just one more time
Remind me of our forever

One more e-mail
One more post
Breach our distance
Please?

Just once more?

The familiar ache in my heart
as I know I want to write
there's a poem inside me
waiting to come out
waiting to be printed on paper.

The scratching of my pen on paper
the ink forming letters, then words
not glancing at the clock
not wanting to stop
wishing I could freeze time

Glances from other people
pencils scratching their papers
rushing to get their work done
a feeling I know well
and can connect with now.

Bell, please don't ring
wait a little longer?
seconds tick by cruelly
counting down without mercy
they match the beat of my heart

People packing up stuff
anxious to leave
for once I am not with them
how can I want to leave?
Here I can write, I am free.

I need you
I want you with me
now and forever
to be by my side

We have a chance
it might work
We might see each other
as we’ve always dreamed.

I can’t imagine
I’d love it so much.
I want it to happen
I hope it will

If it does
If I see you there
wherever it is
it’s home.

And despite all the longing
despite all the pain
If I see you I’ll be complete
If our eyes meet, I’ll be home.

If I’m with you, I’ll be home.

Flip a coin and let it land
heads I’ll tell them everything
but as I watch it fall,
I pray for tails.
How could I explain?

It landed tails
It’s probably best
I’d never tell.
1 million heads
I never got the courage.

I want to tell them
but yet I don’t.
torn down the middle
what would I say?
I can’t decide

Flip a coin and let it land
heads I’ll tell them everything
I watch it land
heads up
maybe I’ll tell them this time.

But maybe I’ll flip it again.

Who says we can't have
A long distance love story?
Who says the miles
Will change the plot?

We're still in love
Though far apart
We still care
Despite the length

We shouldn't be in love
Shouldn't but are
So why can't we
Have a love story?

If Our love story exists
We're living it
So why can't we find
The happy ending?

What's our love story without a happy ending?

Long distance
1500 miles
44 days to walk
Who cares?

If you love me
As I love you
We're not apart
Despite the the miles

We are together
Together at heart
Distance matters to minds
But hearts don't care

We fell in love
Long distance
We'll stay in love
Long distance

Our hearts are together
Though we're far apart
Though we fell in love
Long distance

You can't keep Storms
and Stars apart.
They're inseparable,
joined together.

You always have both,
you can't have just one.
Bound together,
sealed forever.

The bond they have
can never break.
With Storms there are Stars,
with Stars there are Storms.

There's always both,
two, not one.
Never alone,
for they have each other.

You can't keep Storms
and Stars apart.
Whatever it takes,
they'll be together.

Storms and Stars are always together.

Valentine's Day
And now I have back
The person I love
my reason to smile.

It's been a long time
5 months without you
but it felt like forever
without reason to smile

Then came that day
friday the 14th
My lucky day I guess
I got back my reason to smile

I now have my light
after months of darkness
for you came back,
My reason to smile

Is it even possible
to write out my happiness?
if it is
There's not enough paper.

Valentine's Day
And now I have back
The person I love
my reason to smile.

You are my reason to smile<3