Love my life..trudging through my own parade of self absorbed lonlieness. So again here I come to take take take this time the taking which is that of my own. I'll take this time I am given, to reunite my head and my heart again. I'll know which way is up , which way is down. I'll know Who I can turn to, and who to turn away from. I'm here ...that's enough of a blessing on it's own. I've got No other options but myself and God to carry me on home. I will no longer be seldom without my inner true conscience a voice I'm pleased to agree with n let lead me. A voice which creates unity within my heart and my soul. Ive been jaded by others remarks about me. Why were they ever made? why do they hate me?  Been burned so easily stuck it out hoping they'd make the peace to release me. Downward is the constant selection I keep making my direction a double edged sword knife my connection to life. Living it is hardly easy surviving it is well known to me. This is about me so I'll make it about me. I'll be just fine pretending I'm not alone through the night.God will save me when I learn to love him for giving me life.

I'm glued in I'm blowing thick clouds
my mind screams and shouts begging for the answer
convince me convince me not

I feel strapped the eff down
all I rely on is knowing I'll fit in this size 1
Everyday I research my way out
half heartedly I devise a plan
Dear God send me an angel with a clue
a clue on what to do with my issue the future it's more foggy
I'm sinking slowly into depression sadly obsessed with my weight
I sit smoke and escape meals life and all of pent up pain

Please come back to me
I thought I meant more to you than I meant to me
Please come for me
Don't you care to check in on me
I wanna try agsin
I need you
I need you
Release your love and support on me again
Please come back to me
I wanna try again
I miss you
I miss you

Nothing to show for this life of mine
I float gloat smoke in my throat
choke silently violently all in my mind
My own worst enemy is greater more powerful &  stronger than it's worst you believe it to be
Let me free, break this need to satisfy
the sick ghost living within me
The earth, my moon makes me happy all it's richness, truth of beauty, vibrant colors lasting up into the night
I long for a reality where I exist with all control I'll pay the toll freedom to do what is right
Let me free, break this need I wanna have my life to just be ME

O Bryan
Bryan my support my dream
My consideration you gave
O Bryan
Bryan I want to be that for you
I wasn't your support or your dream
You had my consideration w/o trust
O Bryan
Bryan how much I miss you it isn't enough
Only enough to render my mind and take hold of my time
Ponder the idea that again you'll be mine
I love you still you left me I didn't fit the bill
I can and I will let go of the secret thrill it's how I became Ill
O Bryan
Bryan I desperately hoped you'd find me to hold my hand as my man
I'd find your love I'd take your hand and you'd stand to be my man help free me from this dope land
I can and I will challenge the demon that forced you out of my life
I can't sit still long enough to win this lonely tiresome fight