when I love someone
I don't want to love their
gender or their skin
I want to love them
their laugh
their smile
their eyes
their humor
their kindness
their thoughtfulness
their talents
their skills
I want to love them
for them
not a made up version
of them
I want them to be theirself
and be proud
they don't need to be
a girl
or
a boy
or
gender nonconforming
I will love them
for them
and what they look like
does not matter
"I don't love a body,
that's just skin and bones,
not somebody"

my heart used to flutter
when you texted me
I would gush at every compliment
but then
I was impatient to be called yours
you cut our situationship off
and decided we should be just friends
it broke my heart
as tears streamed down my face
but soon enough
I accepted it as that
but then
you became distant
and stopped replying to me
you left me on read/seen
it made my heart heavy
and stomach churn
I stopped begging for
your attention
and affection
now I no longer care
I do not feel anything for you
my heart is steady
I don't look forward to
your texts
I barely think of you
I am done
done with this mess
I will wipe my hands of
this situation
and leave it in the past

the sun streams through the window
the sunflowers and daffodils
sway in the breeze
raw honey drips
down from the honeycomb
sour lemons squeezed
to make lemonade
sweet light cornbread
warm fresh from the oven

empathy
something I struggle with
I'm not heartless
or lacking kindness
I just don't know how
to put myself in other's shoes
I can't see their pain
in their perspective
I see it my way
not theirs
it's a struggle
I want to be understanding
but I just can't
I wish I could be
more empathetic
but alas
I'm just a misunderstood fool

Pride
"I deserve everything
I am better than everyone
I make no mistakes
I am perfect"
Greed
"I deserve this shopping trip
one more purchase
more money I need more money
one more store"
Wrath
"they deserve pain
I will make them hurt
I need to break this wall
anger is necessary"
Envy
"they don't deserve that beauty
why do they get that and I don't
I wish I had that purse
I need that dress, not them"
Lust
"I deserve to make love to them
I need that person in my bed
give me pleasure
I need you, now"
Gluttony
"I deserve all this food
just one more doughnut
more pizza
I need more pop and chocolate"
Sloth
"I deserve to lie in bed all day
I won't get up to reach the remote
I'll wait to use the bathroom
work is boring, I'll just sleep"

I have logolepsy
I love learning about
all these new words
expanding my vocabulary
tenacious
quiddity
eclectic
capricious
psithurism

I could prate about how I feel
about you for days
until my words become
redundant and repetitive
I could prate endlessly
about how I hate you
or about how I love you
or about how I don't know how
I feel about you
as undecided as my feelings are
I could still prate about them