Cold wars between our bodies
If kisses from better dreams
kept us waiting
Only the dim armistice we signed
(unconsciously)
divides us

-cj

The only thing worse
Than life *******
Is other people
Finding out
Just how much
It *****.

I'm sick
of constantly
being on the
back-burner.

I am not someone
you can just use.
I am not,
and never will be,
"the second best."

Give me your all
or give me
nothing.

I feel like trash being ready
to be picked by whoever has
the worst taste
finding out later
that they only needed the bag.
emptying my contents on to the grass
half broken and dismembered
pieces of glass left behind from the time
I broke my mirror
unfinished 40 ounces from winter break.
the first time I ever got drunk and threw up.
It felt good.
Half a dozen 8ths
I smoked for a whole month
after she left me and my parents
kept lecturing me about
how much I ****** at
being alive

I am not period(.)
nor apostrophe(')
I am important
dashed immortality(......)
my ashes will remain and feed
someone(,)
if only a slug sloothing in comma days(,,,,,)
on the side of a freeway overgrown
with wildflowers and **** around
an exclamation mark(!!!!)
a mark of quotation(")
I decay and feed
the next generations
semicolon(;) seed;
If I have any say (period.)

Temporary fixes
Is all I've ever looked for.
A little something to take the edge away
A little something to make me forget
A little something to make everything okay
But it never lasts
This temporary fix of mine.
It's prescribed for my head
But never for my heart.
I keep wanting more and more
Because more and more
Just piles up
With
Each
Passing
Day.
This place I call home isn't the safe haven
I've grown up in anymore.
The endless laughter and smiles
Can't cover up the pain I dig into.
My precious notebook and pen
Can't scratch out reality.
Things have changed,
And I just want to get away.
But the more I've tried,
The more I've been denied.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
The pain can be buried,
But uncovered once again.
The cuts might not bleed,
But they've left a scar.
There has to be something more than
This-
Than this temporary fix.