In the bed I lay awake
I pray the lord my soul to take
These feelings inside they don't go away
I try to act fine but my mind doesn't stray
I want out of my head and into the dark
A minute of peace to make it less sharp
I want to be okay and not feel all the time
An escape from myself and escape from my mind
I'm tired of hearing "it's gonna be fine "
I grab the bottle and give it a shake
Thinking about how many I'm gonna take.
I just want to sleep to get away from it all
I don't care how I get there I just want it gone
I grab a handful probably at least ten
Close my eyes and wonder if I will open them again
Either way I'm fine
I just want an escape
I don't know how much my heart can take.
I know these thoughts are crazy but they still exist
There is so much to live for but it feels like this is it.

how do I find strength in silence
where do I find courage in darkness
my heart can't take blows one after another
I know you can't help it
yet please
tell me your hidden thoughts so I can carry them
tell me your anxieties so I can allay them
let me be strong enough to carry both our worlds
even if my spine snaps or my shoulders break
trust me
I'll be strong enough to carry both our worlds