When I get up at night,
and I'm looking for a light,
thoughts of you start spinning in my head.
I look up at the stars,
and I wonder where you are
but I know it doesn't matter in the end.

You left so long ago,
I think of where you've roamed.
I know it's for the better that you're on this earth.
Do you ever speak of me,
with the people that you meet?
Does a single one of them know what you're worth?

I hope that when you're cold,
and when you feel alone,
you remember when I promised you my heart.
Maybe you will view the sky,
and ponder just like I,
how long our paths are meant to stay apart.

Maybe my idea of beauty
            is different
    than yours
  Maybe my idea of perfection
            is not about what's less
       but about what's more
  Maybe my eyes can see through skin
     into the heart, soul and mind
              that's deep within
     Maybe, just maybe
             looking at what's inside
      is where we should all begin

This pencil
This paper
Looks just like coke and razors

I write so much I can't feel your kiss
I'm not attached to humanity
Except through this bleeding heart
That I'm slowly whittling away
It's taking shape of something so ******* beautiful

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This apathy
These scars
Tattoos of times I've been torn apart

I ache for human touch
But every nerve has been severed
I close myself inside
Your ****** up mind
And watch your memories in silence
What we made is so decayed and rotten
We denied life to what we'd forgotten
I can't look at my reflection without slitting its throat
I remember what you told me and I quote:

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This love
Those emotions
Can't find which hole in my heart they go in

I balance my life on the edge of a blade,
I get cut and nicked
No matter which turn I take
I'm teetering, watching myself bleed
It leads me to believe that smile was always fake
There was no right time to deny the lies I regretted
Self destruction was the first defense I hated
As I see all these lines blurred in my head
Thinking back to what you said...

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******