I can’t think for
Myself
Everyone around me
Is getting better and
I am just stuck.

Everyone around me
Is independent and
Successful,
Leaving me
Hanging fire.

No one listens,
No one is there,
No one cares,
But yet I am forced
Into believing things
That are wrong,
In my eyes.

Forced to believe you.

For I am absent mindlessly waiting for a beginning,
For an emancipation,
For an assisted dying statue,
For a cure,
For a salvation of the world,
For peace among the worlds indifference,
For some sort of distance.

And at the same time,
Waiting to stop running from myself.

please tell me what i’ve done
i’m clueless once again
please please

I have been in this
Position one too many
Times, and this time
Hurts the worst.
But the reason I help,
The reason I care, is
Because I realize that
You have been there too
And I look up to you for
Getting through it.

i need you to come back home,
but even the people that deserve
the best don’t earn the best.

and that alone, is hell.

they call me a liar.
and i admit that i am,
but the thing is that
i don’t care because
i stopped feeling a
long time ago.
except that is a lie too

For one moment of my life
I want someone to care.
I want someone to look at me asking
'are you okay?' and really
want to know the true answer.

But people don't always get what they want,
life isn't fair?
Is that the excuse so you don't have to deal
with me?

Everyday is getting worse,
My head is in a dark place.
And no one wants to enlighten it.

i feel so strongly about you
and try to show it.
maybe you are just blind
or maybe i am just
making too many excuses for you.

i don't deserve this, i have done
nothing wrong.
but i still feel guilty

and yes, of course i have a close friend
that can listen so this weight
can be lifted
but if i told them
i could hurt them,
and make them feel the same way.

so many People talk about me behind my back,
They are claiming to be my friend and
make fun of me.
have They ever thought "maybe she is tired of it
and thats why she doesn't laugh"?

i wish i was different too and
if only you knew what i do to make
others happy. but i will give you a hint
and it involves making myself miserable.

and all i need you to do is stop and think
for only one second before you speak of me.

People are
Cruel.
I am just
Tired.

We met you again
just months ago.

And today you have helped
pull my family apart.

So good job,
I hope you're happy.

the siren sounded
it was deafening
to those who were hurt
those who were broken
and those who survived

it had finally clicked

A distance.
You are a part of me,
that was taken away.
Little did I know that with out you,
I fall apart completly.

I look at your face,
behind you an airport;
where you leave me,
for who knows how long.

And you never know how much I break,
and I don't want you to ever find out.
Though you often see glimpses of this-
calling you crying, desperate for
someone to hear me out.

Don't leave me again,
I can't take it anymore,
you mean more to me than
anyone else.
Don't forget that.

I will always need you,
and one day we will find a way
for you to stay.

But for now, you leave tomorrow.
But for now, I will keep breaking.
But for now, we will keep wishing.

And the next time I see you I will try
to fill you in on life here.
But I don't ever think you
will keep up.

So I will see you later,
whenever later may be.

i need you more than you think i do.

I get in the car and
Burst into tears.
I am not sure what
Has gotten into me,
There has been a lot
On my mind I guess.
I am starting to believe
Everyone’s opinions-
But I have to be strong
For my own good.

You’ve changed.
Everything about you has changed.
You took your flowers and
Trees and ripped them from the ground,
And now I can’t recognize you.
Your past was mine and your present
Saw through to me.
But since you changed I feel blind.