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  Dec 2014 Taylor
Cold-Bones
Escape of dreaming with a broken heart. And dwelling with the feeling of waking up.
Sleeping becomes addicting .
So the 3 hours past noon creeps up on me. I can not bare it no longer. I'm a coward.
I'm sinking. Will you save me?

My sober thoughts eat my soul bit by bit. Feening  just that one sip.
Falling  for the same **** tricks.
Clueless.
The idiot.

Like being left here to burn in the place's you've  standed. Gone. ******. Stranded.



So its time for my daily cleansing with my buddy jack. Everything is beyond blurry.
Skeptical thinking but you start swirving.

I'll always  Slur   on words you'll  never say. Clever little girl I know your  games.

So far gone from reailty, how the numb senile feeling reacts so smooth.
I would try again with hope but then again that'd be the *****.

So I'll  celebrate  in your honor on this wretched night.
Lathered in my own shame.



Slowly loosing  my composhere step by step. I'm crippled and running out of legs to stand on . im a mess.
But my sweetheart your the closest to hell I'll ever be.
My Eyes glazing  blood red. hatred. Torn to the seems.

But my darling wasn't this what you wanted me to be? Or was it how you've  always been good at dropping to your knees?

Hell who knows.  Forget my name .

You always have your own way ,
blinded by the greed of lust and waist low pleasure.
Seems your the one shipwrecked and lost.

I'm so far gone.
But jack my buddy, one more drink
And I'll move on.
  Dec 2014 Taylor
ZorbatheGeek
so i tell myself, i can survive this
and this heartache is nothing
but an affliction of love

its just a few hours
no communication
i had taken you for granted
thought it was my ration

time it stops still
i struggle to just go through
a time i cant ****
waiting to hear a whisper from you
  Dec 2014 Taylor
Brianna
I swallowed 36 pills today and just laid down ready to die.
You told me my sadness was beautiful... Like a flower drowning in the rain.

I laughed... Because all 36 pills were evenly counted out for the things that made me feel this way.

1. For the headaches, the nightmares and the lack of sleep.
2 for the memories of you kissing me.
3 for the heartache, the way I watched you walk off with her under your arm.
4 for the screaming, the fighting over my weight each day.
5 for the way my family just never understood the way I didn't wanna talk about my feelings.
6. For the long nights I cried myself to sleep for being so ugly no one would want me.
7. For the days I didn't think I would survive at work with a mental breakdown.
8. And last but not least, for the way I could never make myself stop worrying about everything. The way I couldn't figure out my future. The way i couldn't stop hating my entire existence.

36 pills hand counted and evenly distributed down the back of my throat.

Do you still think sadness is beautiful?
Taylor Dec 2014
I've craved death as long as I can remember, but God forbid I let anyone else go. And now I'm staying for someone else. Because my heartbeat doesn't mean as much as yours.
Taylor Dec 2014
My parents tell me to stop bringing misfits home.

Stray cats, lost dogs, lonely people.

Anything sad in the neighborhood, sad in my sight, I bring home with me.

The poor teenagers up the hill, the stoners dazed by the lake, the girls with broken souls and the boys with broken minds. Survivors of all kinds of abuse find refuge with me.

I carried an orange cat home one day, I found him walking around a construction site. He was fed and given something to drink, and we found his owner.

A puppy only a few weeks old, eyes still closed, deathly ill. We bottle fed it and took it to the vet, but it was too late. She said she had a damaged spine and wouldn't make it. I stroked her head as she stopped breathing.

I brought a schizophrenic boy home and helped him through an attack in our living room, while my parents sat horrified in the kitchen.

No less than three girls have cried on my shoulder in the safety of my bedroom, traumatized by rapes they didn't know how to talk about.

These strays, these wounded souls....These are my people. I love them all.

So when they say "stop bringing such damaged things home" it breaks my heart.

And I do it anyways.
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