As I am lying in my tree house alone on a Friday night, thoughts of death dance through my mind. I am shrouded in the dark of a starless sky, but unprotected from the sudden gusts of harsh winter wind that eat away at my exposed flesh. The cold of the outside world seems so irrelevant compared to the inside. Loneliness has found its home in this vacant heart of mine. The emptiness sinks in slowly, a little more with each blinding flash of headlights that pass by my driveway. The reality of the situation is that I come out here to be alone because I feel the most isolated when I am surrounded by people.

The sinking of the mid-afternoon sun has yet to lose its magic, but our eyes are unable to recognize the beauty of this world in our old (enough) age. Our surroundings have not changed, but they have changed us.

We close our eyes, blinded by the sun's reflection in the shallow pools of water on the side of the road. With each car we pass, we are getting farther away from a place we once called home. Shadows stretch from barren tree branches and highway signs trying to hold onto the last light of day, but coming up short.  We all come up short in this life.

Our efforts are never enough to stop this dying planet from spinning around the sun once more, but we still try to at least slow it down so we can finally exhale and let go of the air we've been holding in our blackened lungs since the day we were born

It all moves too fast. One minute you've got your whole life ahead of you, and the next you've somehow ended up stuck in a failing relationship or working a job you hate. You never thought you'd make it past high school, and now you're on your own wishing you hadn't.

We're all just wanting someone to stay up with us on the nights when sleep is the last thing on our minds, but we always end up alone, watching the horizon fade to black. The night sky is starless and as empty as we are. Nothing has changed, but nothing's the same. We didn't grow up to be what we thought we would. The sun sets, but we cannot. We will still be awake to greet it in the morning of the next day of our never ending, meaningless lives.

I’ve always had a thing for old photographs.

The way the black casts its shadow on the white and leaves shades of grey in between.

The way they contrast and compliment each other in a single frame.

The way they hide truth but reveal beauty.

Or maybe that’s just how things are in the purest of forms. Maybe they strip bone and leave nothing but spine and smile.

I’ve always had a thing for old photographs.

They’ve always filled the blank spaces of uncertain

Like you my love

You have and will always be a dream

The red sweater in an old photograph

The tickle of rain on my desert heart

Forget the heartbeat, dance to the grey that my veins now play and unwind the colour from your skin.

You’ve always been most faithful locked in the tower of a dream

You’ve always been most beautiful when you didn’t exist.

With his tongue coated in sugar
and a smile seeping with sin,
I ignored what Mama told me
and let that devil in.

i met a girl she looked so beautiful and when she spoke it was so chemical she said hi my name is cigarette one kiss of me and you'll love to hate me to death the conversation done she said lets have some fun and that was about 25 kisses ago
she promised to always love me
she promised to always be there
but now shes taking all my money telling me life's not fair
so now i'm picking her up from a gas station tonight even though i know she'll be gone before the morning light i don't know why i put up with her but i know i cant break up with her we constantly fight over my choices in life i know i can't win so i just kiss her again further into despair i go
i make pleads baby why do you do this to me
cancer doesn't sound so pretty
her only reply is we all gotta die might as well die from me
she travels with me everywhere i go i can't help it over this decision i lack control
She promised to love me even when i'm low but i just kissed her for the last time and i need to go buy more
i know that shes killing me i guess its alright as long as i can afford her ill be just fine because when my funds are low and without her i'm forced to go i just lose my mind
i hate i hate you so much but i love i love you too much to let you go i've signed away my fate with you i will stay until into the grave i go

Part One
Cold wind rushes in beneath the cracked
window that was never fixed after you threw
that rock through it in a fit of anger when you
were drafted to the war in your mind,
the one that leaves us silent for days because
your pride keeps your jaw shut tight though
we surge with energy from the tension of our
love that dances around us and teases us with
the knowledge that one day we will come around.
I leave the broken window open now so when
you return again I’ll hear the pebbles
crunching beneath your feet as you make your
way up to the door, fumbling through your
pockets looking for the keys.  You won’t need
them, you know, because I’ll meet you at the
door before you even try to open it.
I have a cold from the draft coming in through
the window.  You’ve returned from the war
but I know it’s never over.  You’ll stay here
with me until you’re drafted again.  I’ll
savor each moment with you until then.

Part Two
I bury my face in your collar bone and I hide
my tears with the sniffling cold.  I have missed
you, I always miss you.  These days I have
with you are too precious to take for granted
I know my time is limited, you always leave,
duty calls, I can’t make you stay, I gave up
trying.  You go to war, you come back again,
you come back for me but there’s always
the draft.  The one through the window, the
one for the war, the constant reminder our
minds can’t ignore.  You come back for me
you always do just like I’m always fighting
for you.  One day the war will be over and
we’ll both see the sunlight from behind the
smoke and together we can close the window.