I don't know how to control my stress anymore
day to day I let things get to me that I shouldn't

I feel as if I'm hopeless
and all this stress is getting to me

And it won't be long until I lose hope
and let all of this stress break me

stumbling home
in the evening
with my breath
smelling of cheap beer
and cigarettes;
people worry,
I tell them not to;
I do this for me,
not for attention
or sympathy,
I do this to feel
more alive,
because I feel so
dead inside
and my thoughts
are racing;
drinking shuts them up
for a couple of hours
and I feel better;
I feel sick,
but I also feel
great,
like I can do anything;
like nothing can hurt me;
is this what death
tastes like?
god,
I hope so