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Sia Harms Nov 2024
Unending frustration
Over the workings
Of a brain I did not
Design—and knowledge
That its shortcomings
Revolve around a reason,
One that is perfect,
And not the vacillating
Mess I condemn of it.
Why must I want to be
Anyone but the person
Under these meninges? 

I am not who think I am,
But who is that to

Begin with?
Ash Nov 2024
tonight, i pull my blanket up to my chin
unsure if it is to comfort or suffocate
whether i slumber for good, or to wake
in a world most unfamiliar
Giuseppe Oct 2024
Rough,
Foggy journey,
My dear firefly.
As your light flickers
And your wings hum,
I trust the path will come.
Sia Harms Oct 2024
She spoke as if she wasn’t sure
If the words formed by her lips
Were really hers—only uncertainties,
Fairies flitting convoluted ideas
Through her mind’s eye.
Was it too much to say?
Did she truly want to give all
The pieces of herself away? 

It was too much. . .
They would not understand. . .
Dark lashes framing tired eyes,
Life was harder than she thought.
What if she wasn’t the unwavering light
She was supposed to be?
So many insecurities,
Yet none so powerful
As the red-limned thought
That Jesus would not know her,
And she would fall into the pits--
Welcome only to darkness
And the cold, cold smiles
Of the Enemies who succeeded.
K Oct 2024
Maybe you are right,
Maybe I have already chosen you.

Maybe I did since the first time we kissed.
Maybe every time you have comforted me when I cry in front of you.
Or every time I see you smile.
Maybe even before I met you.

But the pending question is,
will you choose me?
Sia Harms Sep 2024
There was a weight
Of empty history
pressing on my heart,
Building plotlines
And extravagant arcs
in my mind--
I looked at the span
Of golden laughs
and pristine paper,
Frowning at the absence
Of stains
--Because shouldn’t I
Have dark spots
And redacted portions
like everyone else I know?
Was I just waiting,
Building up to something,
That would pour gasoline
On my bundle of flowers
That had bloomed
For so many years?
Was I to become
a fiery mess of cinder stems
And insubstantial ashes?
Maybe then, I could offer
Some guidance
That came from a place
of experience.
Rather than
Philosophizing off of
Flimsy observations--
Why are my struggles
so subtle, my life
A suburban dream,
And my past
an overcast sky
With no tempests churning
Through my memories?
I watch the dew,
The swing of the wind,
And only see misfortune
In the stillness before
a storm
because i overthink everything.
H AE MZ Sep 2024
I look out, to see nothing
Only shadows that refuse to speak.
I look in, to feel nothing
As if my soul forgot how to breathe.

Once, I held hope in trembling hands,
A flame that flickered in the storm.
But winds of sorrow snuffed it out,
And left me cold, without a form.

Now i drift, untethered, unsure,
As a stranger to life I knew.
Is there a path beyond this dark?
Or is my fate to just pass through?

I've made the changes, stitched the seams,
A patched up heart, but no relief.
For what is better if hope is gone?
An empty vessel that holds my grief.

The days move on, yet I remain,
A drifting form, caught in between.
I reach for light beyond the dark,
But linger where no hope is seen.

So I exist, without a dream,
No spark to guide me through the night.
I wander through the haze of time,
A fading star, devoid of light.

Will hope return, or is it lost?
A question I may never know.
But even in this endless night,
I'll keep moving, slow and low.
"Where Am I Going" is a deeply personal poem that captures my own  sense of being lost, both internally and externally. Using imagery of shadows, storms, and fading light, I express feelings of numbness, grief, and the absence of hope. Even though I've made changes in my life, I recognize that without hope, those changes feel futile. I'm still searching for meaning, drifting in uncertainty, unsure if I'll ever find the answers I am looking for. Despite the darkness, there's a quiet resilience in me, as I keep moving forward—slowly and without clear direction. The final stanza leaves the question of hope open, reflecting my ongoing journey.
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