I fell for you
but you were
already gone
as soon as
I got up again,
like a magician
through a trapdoor.
That was the time
I began to believe
in magic.

Soon, I'll be calling "Father"
because I know I will falter,
my mind frail from insecurities
I hope they choke on puke
because I'll be vomiting
them out the basin,
and I'll recoil into
a reunion with
a familiar inner
turmoil;
you're right,
I should have
never left
you.


*Help.