I cried unconsolably in public once.
I don’t remember why.
But people walked right past me.
Kind of like the gods when I cry to the sky.
Sometimes, I try to pray.
I’ll talk to the empty room, secretly hoping something’s listening.
I’ll cry to an empty room, hoping something is listening.
But then, I realize, the room is empty.
And my tears are falling to an indifferent world.
My tears are falling to an indifferent god.
My pain is mine alone.
And then I cry, because no one can hear me.
I cry, because I feel stupid for thinking anyone can hear me.
And then I cry harder because I come to the realization
that if someone is listening,
They’re on an invisible plane, walking right past me, watching me cry.
Sometimes, I’ll scream at the ceiling in my room.
I’ll scream, “Why, why why?”
At the things in the sky.
And I curse it. I curse every god I know.
I taunt them to take me.
I curse and scream at my existence and their ineptitude
Because I secretly hope something is listening.
Because if they take me, it means something is listening.
And if someone was listening
And I died
it means I was never alone.
But then I realize I’m pleading with an empty room.
And then I cry, because no can hear me.
I cry, because my cries for death were met with indifference
And then I realize,
That humans don’t want my pain
And the things don’t want it either
And then I realize,
That I’m either totally alone
Or just another thing, prone to cry
To the things in the sky
