reality is all that exists.
context is the curtain edge of
the proscenium.
the play is
you and I
performing every day.
ovations and uproar
are all just noise in the end.

People's fame only

lasts a short time, that I learned --


from theatre plays.

sports kit - generic hair
i turn seven times in twenty minutes
to check if you're still there
we watch the play
you from outside
me from the back row
are you missing out on training?
you're alone and you must be cold
plastic shorts plastic shirt
standing in an alcove
where god isn't watching
hands pressed flush against cool glass
tall window
you look so small
hiding like a kid
wouldn't you rather be annihilating yourself on the court?
cold hands - dark window - unspecific sport
unspecific boy
has anyone else noticed you?
have you noticed me looking?
forgive me for assuming, but
i hope someday you allow yourself to come inside
there's a free seat next to me

Your inbox closed to my missives
Your door is shut against my knocks
Your lips you barred from my kisses
I still think outside of the box.

I never had it, lover, friend,
I never had the sanity,
But I'll just trade means to an end -
No rest for inhumanity,

I'll trade the words I never spoke
For those of a man imagined,
I'll trade the promises you broke
For truths that never happened,

I'll trade incessant thoughts of you
For sleepless nights and mania
All for a script that isn't new,
Through sunny times, and rainier,

I'll trade this known uncertainty
For one dream I'll hold onto,
Pledge every desperate quantity -
I can because I want to.

the curtain’s wearing down
the wood is getting squeaky
i forgot my line
“line?”
the mask is falling off
the paint is chipping
the backdrop's missing
i forgot my line
“line?”
nothing looks the same
it’s felt off for a while
make up running
crew is gone
i’m alone
one man show
“line!”
i forgot my line
full house
crowd is here
show must go on
one man show
i forgot my line
they’re watching
they’re waiting
waiting to laugh
waiting to smile
where is my smile
what was my line
one man show
all alone
show must go on
so weak
so bleak
try to speak
“line?”
eyes close
head falls
deep breath
shoulders drop
i can’t pretend today
“And scene.”

I put up an advertisement
"WANTED: A handsome man
To play the villain of the tale."
I was in earnest in this wail -
My play is falling as it can
Apart, in disestablishment.
I didn't think you'd laugh or like
My addition - "I don't need one
Personally." Well, I don't, no,
I don't need one, but if you'd show
A wish for consideration,
I'd love a hero on a fixed-gear bike.