In one single night I realized the meaning in which I have been dwelling my entire life to find out the answer to
but now I fear that I know too much about what needs to be kept unknown

I've been mumbling the words of one thousand dead relatives every second of my life.
You can't hear me, neither could I until this one particular night.

I found myself on a bike riding south and wondering why I'm here, what made me get here and why am I on a bike and why am I riding south and why am I ten years old I feel like I should be one million

I fell asleep and woke up one year older, then I repeated the process and now the candles can't fit on the cake but my blow gets compared to storms

I can't keep up and on my death bed I will speak the words of Eve

She said, "This life was made for you, are you ready to do it again?"

and I replied, "We are the same, you and I"

I've been preparing for this my entire life
This particular unluckiness in love that seems unavoidable
It's been in fairytales I've heard as a kid
in the books I've read
in songs on the radio
in poems
in everyone

But no one ever told me that I would be the villain
Never once did I relate to the bad guy
But here I am
and I'm the bad guy

And every time the villain is explained
it is said that she is good in her way
That she never choose to become the villain
But I had the choice
I've been good my entire life but today I decided to be bad
Tonight I killed the princess and took the prince for myself

There's no poison, only me
Me being forced down innocent throats
until they bleed their secrets to me

To me

you walk on an abandoned railway
its dark and you can't see anything
but your know they're there
people in front of you
behind you, on every side of you
holding you like you're something dear, someone important that they can't bear to lose
it's a ghost town.
you might as well be blind but you still balance on the tracks, someone is holding your hand
at home your mom is making dinner while you eat a clementine
and nothing makes you happier than this clementine
so you consider planting a seed but
it would die anyway
because it's a ghost town.
but there are no ghost, not really
it's just history
and it's begging you to keep yourself sane.

Why should I
Hold on to pains
And failures of the past?
Am I not mama nature's own?
Even trees in the fall
Let go of their leaves
For come spring,
Anew chapter shall begin.

Hymns of chaos are all my vocal chords sang, while the blissful sun approached the morning. All I could feel was ebbing darkness, fading away and carting my hope away with it oh hymns of chaos, sung in sweet harmony ! How your notes blend with the climate of my melancholy!

to make big decisions more easily.

the people say good morning like they're used to me,
they wave when they see me in the hall.
but i know that as soon as they get close to me,
they'll wish that they never had at all.

awkward questions, awkward stares
told that i'm putting on airs
written out of all the prayers
i don't fit into the squares