The angel of death once
eclipsed our goodbye
Embraced you within a golden abyss
marked with our glistening eyes
I’ve pictured this conversation
more times than I testify
Yet a chance of it occurring
leaves me mortified
For there’s a sweet escape
in lingering within stolen time
Before your demise feels real
allows me to bathe in a tempting crime.

Regardless, this hollowed illusion comes to fracture
Present now a past but my life plays backwards
The gravity of reality cascades upon me
Trapped in a realm of denial unable to be set free
Although I am the creator of this melancholic fantasy
The price of release means a lifetime of apathy

Instead, I extend, and live within a conversed eulogy
Attempting final goodbyes laced with ambiguity. - epiphanyofwords

Why should I
Hold on to pains
And failures of the past?
Am I not mama nature's own?
Even trees in the fall
Let go of their leaves
For come spring,
Anew chapter shall begin.

Hymns of chaos are all my vocal chords sang, while the blissful sun approached the morning. All I could feel was ebbing darkness, fading away and carting my hope away with it oh hymns of chaos, sung in sweet harmony ! How your notes blend with the climate of my melancholy!

to make big decisions more easily.

the people say good morning like they're used to me,
they wave when they see me in the hall.
but i know that as soon as they get close to me,
they'll wish that they never had at all.

awkward questions, awkward stares
told that i'm putting on airs
written out of all the prayers
i don't fit into the squares

I don’t belong in the background.
I don’t want to live in the background.
But I do.
I don’t belong where I live.
I realize that now.
Maybe if I belonged in the background, I wouldn’t be like them.
They belong in the background.
But I don’t.
I am not like them.
But I don’t have to be like them.
I don’t have to belong in their lives.
Not in the spaces, the margins.
Not in the background.
I just have to be me.
You might think you know me.
You might think you know me as a woman.
As an Asian.
But you don’t.
You don’t know me.
Yes, I am a woman.
Yes, I am an Asian.
But I am not only those things.
You don’t know me for who I am.
I am not just a woman.
I am not just an Asian.
You don’t know who I am.
I am me.
I am not a hero. I am not a savior.
But I don’t belong in the background.
And I am just getting started.

burn the witch
and feed the rich.

unmarked graves
have nothing to say.
were they the hunters?
or were they the prey?

even if we can’t find heaven
we get three 6s instead of 7s
i’ll walk through hell with you
i’ll find a heaven with you